Hello everyone! It's about the following: You start an (intimate) relationship with a person, you like each other, in the beginning everything is OK, but over time you realize that you are not for each other. You still have feelings, but quarrels and quarrels become more frequent, which leads to a lot of nerves, temporary divisions, reconciliation and again. The reasons can be very different ... it all depends on what irritates you and what kind of character you are. Maybe your boyfriend looks at other girls or ignores you because of his friends, and your girlfriend refuses sex, is tight or a workaholic. Whatever you want, I'm sure everyone has something in that spirit. However, I do not mean infidelity, beatings and similar final executions, but a little more harmless things, which, however, irritate you frankly and seriously undermine your relationship. After many conversations you come to the conclusion that without each other you will be better off and your spouse agrees to separate for the common good. He / she loves you very much and does not want to cause you suffering. However ... you can't break up because you just don't have anyone else, you're desperate and lonely. No one else likes you, no one else has paid attention to you for years. You are terrified of loneliness and you are ready to swallow a lot of your principles just to not be left alone. You just don't have a choice - maybe you don't look good or you're not smart and funny enough, or you find it terribly difficult to make new contacts, no matter what the reason. The fact is that you only have that person who gives you love, closeness and support. And yes, if you had a more suitable "candidate", you would turn to him, but there simply isn't one and you don't believe he will appear. You've held on to this relationship like a straw drowning man, yet you've had a lot of good times together and you don't want to lose them, even though your relationship is terribly strained. You insist on getting together and making another attempt, promising yourself that you will close your eyes and grit your teeth for a higher purpose - not to feel infinitely lonely. You must be guessing it's about me. Our relationship is bad, the characters are very different, but he is all I have. Without him, I am doomed to loneliness and lack, and I have been there many times and for nothing in the world I do not want to go back. My relationship with him is a strange mixture of love, despair and addiction, but I am ready to endure. I would like to find someone with whom we get along better, but I don't even hope for that, so I've dropped this nonsense. So it would be interesting for me to share if something similar happened to you. How long did it last, what were the reasons, did you manage to cope, how did you feel? I'm not looking for advice, but I would be interested to read them too. Greetings!
Answers 9
All you have is yourself, not him. You have a very wrong mindset. Whoever does what he does to himself, no one can do to him, you know that. Go to a psychologist, you can't help yourself, you are no longer a teenager, that's how I feel ... I wish you success!
I live in such a relationship, but the other does not want to break. We torment each other. I can't understand why he doesn't want us to break up. We have nothing in common except the child. We will be much better alone. Why, author, explain to me why one agrees to struggle before giving oneself a chance?
I am currently in such a situation. It has been going on for eight years now. Many things in him irritate me, I also irritate him with many of my habits and actions, but somehow at times we manage to show love for each other. He never cheated on me, or even looked at another. It gives me security that I can't have with another (emotional, financial at the moment I provide it). Many times we broke up and then we went back to each other. We were separated for a long period of almost a year, in which I had a relationship with another man who hurt me badly. When I saw that no one else would be as good to me as my current partner, I just found myself looking for other alternatives like you. I got together with him and we live well, although I feel internally that we both deserve more than that. Once, however, the bird does not land on the shoulder of any of us, we can at least be friends and have fun together, love and care for each other, whatever differences we have. Even if we part one day, it will be in a friendly way. Somehow, in our case, we know that we are just a roadside station, we will not stay together forever and we behave very well with each other, out of respect and love. And if it is written, we can die next to each other, we can create a healthy family one day ... Whatever. We are mature people, we can do a lot with our lives. we will not stay together forever and behave very well with each other, out of respect and love. And if it is written, we can die next to each other, we can create a healthy family one day ... Whatever. We are mature people, we can do a lot with our lives. we will not stay together forever and behave very well with each other, out of respect and love. And if it is written, we can die next to each other, we can create a healthy family one day ... Whatever. We are mature people, we can do a lot with our lives.
Yes. Several times mainly for sex. When there are no fish ... you know. It didn't last long, until I found a better mate.
'' but over time you realize that you are not for each other '' And why didn't you catch someone with whom you would have a long relationship ...? You women are a great miracle, you all complain about how all men were the same, and men complain about you that you are whores ... Don't wonder why ..
Man has only himself. Everything else is an illusion. You base happiness (or, in your case, lack of loneliness) on someone else. But how long do you think this will last? What if he meets another and falls in love? In the end, it will turn out that you lost an awful lot of time in something that calmed you down and prevented you from seeking your happiness. You will be lonely again. In my first relationship, I felt something like this. I didn't feel good with him, and I didn't believe I would meet anyone else. I lost many months (even years :) during which I was tormented by his behavior. Eventually he infected me. At first I felt terrible. Gradually, however, I realized that I was much calmer without all the drama around him. A month later I met another. What I can take as advice from my experience is to stay alone and look for something (friends, a course or something else) to engage you. Don't look for love at any cost, because that way you will catch the first one that appears in your life (regardless of whether you fit in) and you will reach the same place again. Focus on yourself in life, and love will come on its own. Success! G30
Author, such a thing has never happened to me. I'm more determined, and when I see that I'm not happy with someone, I just break up with them. That's better for both of us. I feel equally good alone and with others, but torturing my soul, keeping quiet and clenching my teeth is not for me. I lost my boyfriends, I stayed a widow, and I still didn't put up with anything. I'm not talking about the fact that everyone makes small compromises in marriage or cohabitation, we are not perfect people, sometimes our partner annoys us with something, sometimes we irritate him. but this is quite another. In order to live well and calmly, I advise you not to resign and break. One does not become less lonely by reuniting with the wrong person, but becomes more tormented. Don't do it to yourself, stay alone to give fate a chance to send your man.
Obviously staying alone for a period of time doesn't count as an alternative at all. You jump from relationship to relationship just to not be alone and then roar on the forums how unhappy you are.
And I'm one of those people who can't live alone. When I'm left alone it's like I'm not myself. I'm depressed, I'm not doing anything and my life is literally losing its meaning. Before you attack me, I will say that in the last 14 years I have not been alone for more than 3-4 months, so I guess I'm just used to it and I have no experience with being alone. And I think I'm with the wrong woman for me, but I'm not the first youth, out of women's interest in me over the years I think I'm ugly, obviously I have a nasty character, so I really do not have much choice. At first I had decided that the girl I was with was not for me and it was better to break up and have a chance to meet a more suitable one, but after we broke up the horror returned. Hanging out in dating apps with high hopes and encounters with women, who don't care about me at all because they are inundated with proposals and candidates, somewhat partial success, but only with very fat women and almost no success with more normal-looking women, but with a nasty education and profession. In real life, things weren't more rosy. I was rejected by girls I liked. In two words - complete despair. On the other hand, my friend was quite decent in terms of appearance, education and work. It's just that our characters were such that we kept fighting. In the end, I decided to give myself a second chance and focus on fixing things with her, even at the cost of a lot of compromise, rather than throwing myself into this sea of mediocre women with whom I have a chance and hope to meet nice and normal with a chance for me 100 to 1. Maybe some lady will attack me now that I choose a lot, but still despite everything I have a high rating for myself and I can offer a lot. That's why I don't think I deserve a fat saleswoman at a gas station whose development prospects are close to zero.