He Avoids Talking About The Future And Marriage

   My wife and I are not married, but we have been living together for 12 years and have 2 children. Before that we went for another 3-4 years. At the time, both births put a lot of pressure on us, so we didn't get married.

   Because he is a man :) You go. Or give an ultimatum and this time really follow it. Or he may be startled then. You have now left the initiative in his hands. Take it. If you really want this person to be the father of the children, tell him directly that you want to have a baby this month, and if he doesn't agree, he can pack up and never come back. But be sure that if he pretends to be a jester, you can kick him out and really stand your ground. If you let it unravel, it can go on for years. If he wants to be with you, he will agree. If he does not agree, it is better to look for someone else

   Do you have a permanent job? In my opinion, he may not be convinced that you are the Woman, if so, think about whether you are doing your best for this person and whether your love is sincere. You don't mention anything about your relationship, you only talk about the pressure you put on it. Think about what is special about your relationship, you know, there are millions of couples around the world, it's not hard to find a partner, but it's hard to find one to hold on to.

   Hello! I understand you because I was in the same situation. In the end I couldn't stand it and left him. I went back to my parents and it all started again. I am 31 and I have no right to make mistakes or time to lose. Think carefully about whether you want and deserve to be with this man. I wish you success!

   From the author to No. 3 Whether he deserves it he can say best. Certainly our relationship has many problems, I had even posted topics here, but they are not published, and I can not write everything in one. However, the problems seem to be just mine. The question is no longer about marriage, but about the fact that we have absolutely no conversations - nothing excites him. I have a job and I still love him, I give him what I have always given him and what I can. Whether it suits him is another question he also doesn't want to answer. But I've had a lot of patience with him over the years, whatever has gone through my head. Isn't this period too long for a relationship without development? If for 7 years he can't judge whether I am the Woman, then what must happen in order for him to finally judge?

   To № 4: Hello, how did you survive this separation? Don't you have the nasty feeling that you've lost much of your life and yourself? How does he react to your decision? Some people tell me that I should have gotten pregnant without asking him, and when the baby came, he would change. But I'm just not raised that way and I can't do it. Haven't you thought about this option?

   I don't think he loves you that much anymore and it's only a matter of time before he finds another one and loses you. Otherwise he would at least say why it was early, if not offer it to you. If he doesn't even say why, then he has no serious intentions. Looking for someone else when you're young (I guess) if you lose 30 and still have to look for a man, build a relationship (not to mention if you have to change a few more), get married and give birth , you will become a mother at least 40. Look on the bright side - it is better to separate now than to get married and give birth. Or maybe the great love in your life is still waiting for you.

   Your relationship seems to be over. It seems that at the beginning he was very much in love, but obviously he is no longer. Your man is living now, obviously. He has found a new job, he is calmer, what is his wife and child with so that they can spend his money ??? Talk to him seriously, but you both have to come to a decision, whether you will continue to be together or separate ... Once you have gone in different directions and have different expectations and goals in this regard, I think it is it is better to terminate it. Otherwise you will both suffer until one leaves the other and so on

   You absolutely have to think about the suggestions for your question on 3 and 4. And now the ultimatum that you put "either or" to choose and you have separated temporarily, I hope, further shortens your chances. And you're right and you want to see yourself as a bride, to have euphoria around you and him, around you, but he seems to have thought about the time when you were in the role of refusing this with the wedding. I hope you have been together for many years, you are not small. If you don't feel small, you are not. At 23-24 is not such a young age for a child.

   Some men are like that. I have a similar problem with mine, but I haven't waited 6 years, only 3 (haha). So I started the conversation directly and did not give him the right to cancel it. He said it would change and began to change little by little, but very slowly and almost unnoticed. During this time, I periodically punched him in the pit and they gave him a choice or he takes it in his hands and becomes a man or we separate. Well, the washerwoman really cares about me and doesn't want us to part under any circumstances. Even just mentioning it makes him tremble and roar, but that doesn't suit me. I waited day after day, holiday after holiday, to take some initiative, at least once to start a conversation about marriage, about children, about the future. Did not happen. He can talk to me about everything else, but he is waiting for me. And I'm not late to remind him. The last serious conversation like that was 4 weeks ago. I told him, that after so many years of doing nothing, he doesn't care about me and he's not serious. I told him that we were finally parting, that I was leaving and that we would not see each other again. I was adamant and even thought so. Since then, something seemed to break in him. Apparently he was startled and started sharing plans with me, talking about children, inventing names, we didn't arrange a wedding date, but we decided it would be this year. Well, that's my advice from experience. Press him harder. Use heavier words and be emphatic. Explain to him that there is a time in relationships when you either go to the next level or break up. I wish you success. I hope he cares about you more than his strange male behavior and create a healthy family. However, it is very important that everything else is fine, because otherwise you may be fucked. Don't turn your head in the bag. I have the fact that he is influenced by his friendly couples. They are all long-term boyfriends who do not develop. We changed the environment a bit with calmer people and it seemed to come to his mind.

   Thank you for the comments and tips! I think you helped me to confirm my conclusion that there is no chance for something good. I have tried everything you advise me to do - I was both firm and insistent and weak - insecure and indifferent, I tried with kind words and rebukes and scandals. All the negative factors you point out are present - I am almost 30 years old, like him, he has the new company, which strongly influences him, a big change in lifestyle, romance is missing, common interests, etc. I just don't know how to come to terms with the expectations from comment no. 7 - that if I give birth to a child at all, it will be somewhere around 40.

   author, the man has clearly shown you that he does not want marriage, at least not with you now. what are the reasons, we can't know: he may not feel ready, he may not think that you are the woman for him, he may live, he may want to realize himself in something else, he may do many things. however, you are right for yourself to want the development of your relationship. you do not write how old you are, but once you are together from 7, you will be between 25 and 30. the way out is to have a serious conversation with him and be ready for an honest answer. in his eyes, your conversations may seem like grumbling, so be serious, without scandals and accusations. if you see that you still do not receive a definite answer, obviously this person will not succeed.

   Beauty does not happen by force - he obviously only postpones things because he lacks the desire to take the serious step (due to hesitations that you are the woman for him, fear that he loses his freedom or something). The bad thing is that there is no adequate communication between you - don't you think that's your main problem? How are you going to build a family with someone you can't get along with and find a common language with?

   Hi, what can I tell you. I have a friend for 3 and a half years. At the beginning he talked about how we would get married, how we would have children, but for 2 years he started repeating that he did not want to have children. He also doesn't want to get seriously involved, and yet he doesn't deny marriage as categorically as he does for children. From time to time he keeps saying "let me take you to the ritual hall", etc., but it's all just a joke. We don't even live together. And a few days ago we passed a maternity hospital and he said "Come on, when are you going to give birth", then he lied to a friend that I was expecting a child. When we speak seriously, he is categorically against marriage and children, and then he fails often. I can't understand him by gathering some thoughts about it and he is ready to part for a second just to get rid of not getting married and not having children, and the next moment he is joking about these things. It has long been clear to me that he will hardly ever dare to have a family and children, but I am still with him. I don't know how to advise you, but apparently your friend is also trying to avoid the topic and has told you for a month without intending to fulfill it. My friend often does that. The interesting thing is that I never teased mine or forced him to get married or have children. I didn't even hint to him, but he has formed an attitude that this is exactly what I expect from him and he gets into big movies and all this refuses him. Not that I don't want to, but I've never teased him or asked him a question, he usually asks it, and as far as I understand, you've asked the question quite a few times. I wish you success, I hope things happen, because 7 years is not a small amount, for me 3.5 I see a lot and where are 7, twice as much. I have decided to be with my friend for now, and if another better candidate appears, I will not think if we want to start a family with each other. To whom when it was written and with whom it was written. Good luck.

   The abnormal is one. To live with him for seven years, and it all comes down to this, to wait for him like a boar, to fertilize you, or to abandon him. Is that what men are for? Have you lost all your feelings in seven years? Do you only want children from this life, like animals? Are you so bored? Let the person have an opinion, don't you see that he doesn't want to now. Seven years with him and now are you going to run away so badly because of the kids? He will always ask for it, think a little! When you're so cold, dump him if you're not ashamed.

   To № 15 I don't know if you are a man or a woman, but in both cases you have no right to address me so rudely! How do you think I'm cold? Your comment lacks any meaning! A vicious statement! Where did I write that I was waiting like a boar to fertilize me? If I just wanted him to fertilize me, I would have achieved it 100 times so far, but I'm still waiting for him to give his opinion for 7 years. So I'm not ashamed, I let him have an opinion, but he obviously doesn't have it, or at least he can't say it. Should I run away so bad? And not to receive 1 specific answer and conversation during this time is an extremely masculine and mostly human manifestation? This is clearly what you understand when the desire for children is animal for you. Why do you get involved in the topic at all, if you haven't even read it like people?

   Look for another, but keep in mind that with the new one it is not good for the marriage to become a fixed idea. It can simply repel it and backfire. In the sense of not being able to push men away or get involved with someone just because he is ready to propose marriage to you and then turn out to be a mistake. Because marrying the wrong person (and giving birth to him) is even worse than dating someone for so long and not getting married. Just don't argue unnecessarily, but don't wait too long. I hope you understand me.

   What are these men - even after 7 years and still can not decide to propose marriage. And how long to wait for him to decide and get ready-17 or 27 ... come on. Up to 2-3 years at most one relationship and it is visible - if there is no development why do you hang out with him? Why is he wasting her time and just spinning it. So that he is not alone and it is convenient for him to have a wife by his side? Doesn't she see that the girl wants something more serious, why does she stop her life ... If she is not able as a man to take responsibly and seriously what she is such an indecisive and cowardly man for then. What is he so afraid of? Number 15, the girl won't be cold if she dumps him - she's been waiting for him for 7 years, isn't that enough? For so long how many things can happen between 2 people - to study, to work to buy a house, to have 2 children, etc. The years go by and for a woman time is important. She has the right to organize her life according to her feelings and needs, and not to wait for the gentleman to try, if at all. Well, he may never intend to ... -and then what can she do. Yes, if he wants to make her catch one for company only. And she wants a family to find another with her priorities.

   Hello! I advise you to find some extracurricular activities and stop paying so much attention to him. Don't say another word about a wedding! Go where you want and with whom you want. If things don't go your way with exhortations, make a 180-degree turn so that he wonders what's going on and surprises him, to see that you don't care so much about a wedding with HIM, to startle by asking you what's up, say nothing and keep going out with girlfriends. Increase your chances of meeting new people and even men and I will advise you something - do what men do for the most part, stay with him for a while until you find another man. No man will admit it, but they do it en masse with women. For example, what to do - without warning him that you will go out, get drunk, dress sexy, you stand in front of the mirror before you go out and look around for a long time, let him start thinking about whether there is no one else. Be kind, but not too much and not so suffocating. If you have to go to the market for new clothes and forget about saving money for the two of you, for your common home and wedding and blah blah. Buy clothes that fit you well and emphasize your strengths. Put on expensive perfume, heels and make up. Now is the time to become your best version. Stop cooking, buy only ready-made food and reheat it in the microwave. If you're used to serving him and walking on his ass, stop too. Don't even wash it, just wash yours. Say, for example, that you didn't want to paint in the washing machine, so you didn't mix it, and you sent some things by hand. Let him see a retreat on your part. At the moment, your man is manipulating you very hard because he knows what you want and promises it to you, but there is no action. It's like swinging a bone in front of a dog without giving it to him. I think he'll dump you either because he doesn't marry him or because he'll find another one (I hope I'm wrong). Right at this moment you have several options - or the roles turn around and you start swinging your bone until yours is tamed, ie. from being manipulated to become a manipulator or leave him, you forget about him forever and look for your man. Also read the book "Men Marry Bitch." It is read in one breath. Success! Right at this moment you have several options - or the roles turn around and you start swinging your bone until yours is tamed, ie. from being manipulated to become a manipulator or leave him, you forget about him forever and look for your man. Also read the book "Men Marry Bitch." It is read in one breath. Success! Right at this moment you have several options - or the roles turn around and you start swinging your bone until yours is tamed, ie. from being manipulated to becoming a manipulator or leaving him, you forget about him forever and look for your man. Also read the book "Men Marry Bitch." It is read in one breath. Success!

   Author, you have every right to want development and children. Don't worry that if you separate you will give birth to 40. Given the pace at which your relationship is going, if you stay you can wait up to 60. Otherwise you can have a child whenever you want, there are many single mothers. But for a family with a man and a child, you have to take some action.

   Author, do not worry about number 7 for his claims. There is a great deal of truth that one should not wait, for a woman the clock is ticking and you should not wait until the biological functions are transmitted to time. Maybe tomorrow if you want to be pregnant, but sometimes it's not easy, it's not fast, and you still don't talk about anything, it's like living with your enemies, it sucks, the person you're going to give your life to pass you by like a big chair in the room.Is there any development in your work, did you find something that "justifies" his behavior.

   To number 15 - how did you know that the author only wants children. She generally says that she wants constructiveness in the relationship - marriage, children and then some stability for these children. Everyone is right when she seeks her happiness. Better is when people are looking for dialogue, like the author, than to leave this man, to throw everything away without clarifying things. And yes ... what is abnormal you see in this, a woman almost 30 wants children.

   According to the author, the Council of No. 19 may work in normal relations, but not with us. I've tried this too, but it doesn't impress. The more I'm absent, the happier he is - he enjoys the peace, he may not even ask where I'm going. I also slept to serve him, because I used to do it. This is also not a problem, because she has a mother for washing and cooking. When I don't do something, he goes to her. A few days ago, a cheeky man came up to me and invited me to dinner. I say cheeky, why did he know I was engaged, and there were other common acquaintances. So my friend understood and said to me "Why don't you go out with someone once? Out of curiosity, to see what he wants" Tell me, is this normal? Does my partner want to date other men?

   Author, I'm sorry to comment on your painful problem here a few times, but after the events have unfolded, let it get there to make you go out with another, woman or man, what's left for you, lest this is a serious signal that he will soon part with you. A relationship is a relationship so that you are two in it. If it is serious, it should be not only long-lasting, but also with pleasant emotions, caresses, communication, even mutual friends, otherwise you risk being apart for a long time in everything you do. Don't pay attention to the impudent ones if you don't want to. they won't solve your problem unless you argue this time over a man. I don't believe he cares who or where you're going. If he really thinks so, then he is wrong, someday they will do the same to him, the time will come to ask for your attention, and you will be far away,

   Слънчице, съжалявам, но не мисля, че ти вече имаш половинка. Той явно просто иска ти да скъсаш с него, защото го е страх да скъса с теб. Затова и иска да излизаш с други хора, белким се влюбиш в някой друг и го зарежеш.

   Явно си му станала прекалено досадна и затова е отказал темата за брак и аз да бях на негово място нямаше да се оженя за теб

   Hello author, given that the topic is old and a long time has passed, can you still, if you enter the site, draw a line on how things have developed for you, are you still with him or are you already with someone else! Number 27, and would you cancel the topic of marriage if your girlfriend became "annoying"? And if she's so annoying, whose are you still looking for with her? Such are the men, for sex you may be afraid to live with a woman, but when it comes to a wedding, you beat her a jerk, even if you drive her to check! I'm a man and I wouldn't spin a woman for so long, just to have something to eat, to fuck ... It's all up to the man!