Hello! I am an 18-year-old girl and I have been with my friend, who is 20, for 3 and a half years. He is my first love, but I am not his. This greatly affects our relationship. You know how it is with first love: you give your best, the person next to you is everything, you believe that you will be with him forever. While he loves me more balanced, more mature, but also less. Accordingly, he is not so careful about how he treats me, he is quite rude and primal at times. He wants to exercise control, to give orders. He believes that men should be leaders. These things, in themselves, make me wonder if I should stay in this relationship. A few months ago, I discovered that he had a two-month parallel relationship with another and ended it because I broke up with him for a few days and "realized how much it meant to him." He was going to tell me at the right time, he was deluded that I was tired of him, but he realized that this was not true. I decided to give a chance, perhaps not so much to him as to my great love for him. But after this infidelity, my love began to fade. I still really love it, like a child, but it's not the same. And I don't feel a change in his disgusting attitude at times. A few days ago I met on the street with the boy I was having sex with for the first time (my boyfriend is second). After we passed, I turned around, he too, it was so beautiful, my heart was pounding ... If he had stopped, I would probably have hugged him. I remember once thinking that somehow life would bring us together and we would end up married, haha. I thought about how much we fit together and how we would get along. Over the years, I sometimes thought of this boy and wondered how he was. I know that if I looked for him, he would like to see me. The question is whether to end my relationship for something completely unknown. My friend sees our common future, he is sure he wants to continue with me. He has his own small business, but he is 20 years old, which clearly speaks of his determination. On the other hand, do I know when yesterday's promises will have no value for him, as has already happened. I don't know much about the other boy, and I don't want to compare them as a commodity. I don't think it's an option to see the other boy to judge what the goods are and then decide whether to continue with my boyfriend. I do not know what to do. Give me some advice. What would you do? Is it really best to stay with your first and great love? which clearly speaks of his determination. On the other hand, do I know when yesterday's promises will have no value for him, as has already happened. I don't know much about the other boy, and I don't want to compare them as a commodity. I don't think it's an option to see the other boy to judge what the goods are and then decide whether to continue with my boyfriend. I do not know what to do. Give me some advice. What would you do? Is it really best to stay with your first and great love? which clearly speaks of his determination. On the other hand, do I know when yesterday's promises will have no value for him, as has already happened. I don't know much about the other boy, and I don't want to compare them as a commodity. I don't think it's an option to see the other boy to judge what the goods are and then decide whether to continue with my boyfriend. I do not know what to do. Give me some advice. What would you do? Is it really best to stay with your first and great love? to judge what a commodity it is and then decide whether to continue with my friend. I do not know what to do. Give me some advice. What would you do? Is it really best to stay with your first and great love? to judge what a commodity it is and then decide whether to continue with my friend. I do not know what to do. Give me some advice. What would you do? Is it really best to stay with your first and great love?
Answers 9
In my opinion, your relationship is over, there are very few people who overcome infidelity, but you have to trust him again and take the risk of hurting him again. Sama said that your love for him fades, but when you saw your ex you got excited. I think you've already made your decision.
Life is too short to tolerate a bad attitude from a boyfriend :) and over time his attitude will not improve, at most it will get worse. I don't see why you need to do this to yourself. I would advise you to part with him as soon as you think about it. Even if it doesn't work out with the other boy, you'll meet someone else. G30
See if you are not feeling well if you are not happy and full of your current relationship just break up. Things are unlikely to get any better than you want as young as you are from now on.
to the author: So how can you not know the first boy with whom you had sex for the first time? That is, to know him well. Then how did you let him take away your virginity? However, most girls do it for the first time with a man they know, love and trust. How was it with you and now you don't know the first one well.
Just reading the title of the topic before I opened it, my opinion was to drop it. Don't believe nonsense like "I'm sorry I cheated on you, it was a mistake." He does not regret that he cheated on you, but that you already know about it. End this semblance of connection as quickly as possible. But before that, you cheated on him too. And in the future, whether you will continue with the boy where he was your first or with someone else, you will decide. - scorpion.
Author, I did not understand well - at the age of 18 you have been together for 3.5 years, so you were 15 or 14 years old? And the one you don't know, but you had sex - phone or did you use any of the holes? And my questions are: how old were you with the one you don't know and are there others you've had sex with but don't count? The formula for the number for women is multiplied by 3. I did not understand your count with one or two rules of sex?
From the author: Thank you all for the answers! Number 4, about 4 and a half years have passed since our last meeting with my first. Then these were his "violent" teenage years, the years in which you grow up, you change a lot and suddenly. I guess at the moment he is quite different from then, so I don't know much about him.
First love may seem like magic, but that doesn't mean it's the best. I'm not going to tell you about the boy you slept with for the first time. He should not interfere in this story at all, because even without him present, there is no trust in your relationship, and happiness is already flying out the window. It's not worth breaking up with one person just because you can be with another. You break up with your partner if things are not right between you, no matter that you will be alone later. Well, your relationship is not what you want it to be. You don't sound happy and in love to me. I was not left with the impression that you are sure that you want to be with your friend for many years to come. Accordingly, in my opinion, there is no point in being together. On the flip side, your heart is not beating because of him, but because of a meeting with another person in which you have not said a word. You're exhausted, it doesn't make sense.
I didn't read the whole story. I gave up on "first love" at 18 or 20. The first True Love occurs only when we are emotionally ready for it and not earlier than 25 years of age. And no, that's not your "boyfriend," change him.