If your son, who has already grown up and is 20 years old, does not want to study - a student, but with very bad results, he can hardly drive it. Nor to work. Personally, I found him a job as a waiter in a restaurant, but he refused. Then we found him a job in a workshop for good pay, but he refused again. We told him well, you found a job you wanted, but again he did not accept. Not even to move a finger at home to help - what do we do? It is in his own interest to learn to take care of himself in life. But unfortunately there is no motivation. He is not satisfied with the specialty in which he studies, apart from being lazy, he really doesn't like the subjects, he just enrolled to have a diploma. The good thing is that he is in our city and does not need a lot of expenses, but with this success he will not see the end. I don't want money from him, fortunately we have no financial problems, I just want to see how this money is made, to be useful to do something, hang out in front of the computer all day and watch matches. No friends go out anywhere. By no means would I say he's a bad person, but he's just terribly lazy. Clearly, many mistakes have been made to get here. But it has arrived. Now what?
Answers 50
Hey, just like my brother :). Well, if he goes out to stay, he won't, he'll tighten up! It's simple! And of course, don't give him any money! Many, many students manage on their own, although it is difficult.
Unfortunately, all this is mainly a result of your upbringing. And to some extent character. But the main factor is you and your husband. It's late. The only way is to talk to him and set conditions. If he wants to stay with you, find a job if he doesn't study. It doesn't matter that you have no difficulty with money. And the other - to go out soon and live alone. If necessary in the beginning you will pay his rent, but only him. Otherwise, this picture will continue until he turns 50.
I would give him time to look for a room to rent. With his funds! Sounds too ... loud? !! The other is a bear service. as long as he knows he has everything ready, he obviously won't move a finger. I told my children: if at some point you didn't hate me, then I haven't done my job! Pure laziness and a sense of belonging is his. Therefore ... talk to the father and together, so that the son is clear that he is serious, talk to him. You set a condition for it, for example: you have 2 months. to look for an apartment. Or: you can live here, but you take your own "expenses" You have to learn to take responsibility! Ah, my question to you is: why did you wait so long? He is already a man! And now it will be much harder to "insert" such elementary things into it. Responsibility is nurtured in infancy with an example: collect your toys!
Stop his faucet in any sense - to go to the apartment and fix it yourself. There is no other way. And if you don't do it now, you will have to weigh him for life. How to do it - you tell him that he is an adult and is already responsible for his own life and very seriously, you determine some initial amount - say 100 leva to support him for part of the rent and that's it. Success.
Do not have any illness such as depression or something like reduced thyroid function. Let him go to the doctor to be examined, to be examined.
Take him to a psychologist. Just talk to each other.
Now what? Now a full cut of the faucet you need is working hard to have it. He who does not walk on the right path is stung by the thorns along the road.
When I read the first half of your story, I told myself that you should "kick" him (roughly speaking) out of the house and give him an initial boost (literally) in life. But when I saw that he had no friends and didn't go out, I thought there might be a psychological problem (which doesn't mean he's crazy). I will not advise you to talk to him, it is best to seek help from a psychologist. There is certainly something that worries him, I say it as a person who, in part, recognizes himself in your son.
There is nothing to do. His life now depends on him. I hope he realizes that he has to change it. I am 22 and I am in a similar situation. I don't work, I don't have a boyfriend and friends, I don't go out, I don't help anything at home, I'm on the computer all day, I watch matches and porn. :) The difference is that I'm doing pretty well at university, I've had a few internships (albeit unpaid) and I've realized that it's time to change a lot of things in my life. I hope I make it. And for him it will be most useful to start going out and making social contacts. When he sees that some of his peers are working so as not to burden their parents financially, others are studying hard and have set some goals in life, others are doing something else, etc., he will take stock of himself. PP: Just be careful not to go the wrong way. If he's really lazy, not to take to discover any of the easy ways to make money. But you know him best and you know if he is capable of such things.
You missed him when I was 18 years old, they gave me financial support of BGN 600 and kicked me in our other apartment to take care of myself. Your son needs to understand that he is already an adult, that he needs to take matters into his own hands because you will not be alive all your life to endure it if it continues in the same way it will not lead to anything good. It will be best if you do not have another home to rent one and leave it to fend for itself. I am one year older than your son, but I am studying, working and even expecting a child.
Why don't you look for the guilt in yourself? You raised him all the same! Now in those years, will he come to his senses! Don't pay for the internet ... if he wants to, he should work alone and pay for it!
Maybe he's depressed and that's why he's not interested in anything else. As for work, if he is more shy and more or less antisocial - working as a waiter is definitely not for him. And yet there must be something he is really interested in and that attracts him (even if it is related to information technology, computer science, football). Direct him to a job or specialty directly related to his interests.
Maybe he's afraid to take responsibility for his life. My father kicked me out of the house, and only then did I discover what it means to be independent, and later the joy of freedom and independence. And this with computers is understandable, not very good. However, everyone is aware that computers are addictive. (Who would give up their computer?) Computers lead to motivation problems. Many useful actions seem hopelessly boring against the background of aimless browsing of the net (or against the background of movies / games).
Now you will burn the tree :) Who will take your mother's gold, those women do not take them like that :)
Get him out of the house. Hey, for a few days. Tell him to pack up and leave. To live where he wants and not to go home until he finds a job. You take his key home without knowing it.
And my son bothered me so much - it's not easy at all ... I told him that he was old enough and it was time to take life in his hands. I even told him it was time for him to leave our house and find a place to live and get on as well as he could. We are abroad and I see here at the age of 18 they are kicked out of the house and let's study, work and get better in life. What is it like to sneak into my house, sleep until noon and not want to study or work. After college, he enrolled in university, but he didn't like the major and left school in January, then found a job and left home to live with friends to see what it was like to be independent. Unfortunately, his contract expired a year later and that was it. Now he has an online business and he would do something else ... He already has a girlfriend and most of the time he lives with her and from time to time he appears in our country. Fortunately, they understand each other very well for now and have been together for more than a year. ... In principle, I have no complaints about his bad behavior, nor has he created any other serious problems for us. He is calm and responsible, but somehow he doesn't know what to do with his life. Maybe some mature a little later and then what comes to mind what and how, I do not know. I treat him like a big man and I don't let him think that he can lie down and rely on us. I support his every initiative for autonomy and independence, etc .... Maybe it's all about the person and the character, I already think so and I stopped blaming myself for some of our mistakes. Here we have a daughter, but she is completely different, and I raised them both equally. In principle, I have no complaints about his bad behavior, nor has he caused us any other serious problems. He is calm and responsible, but somehow he doesn't know what to do with his life. Maybe some mature a little later and then what comes to mind what and how, I do not know. I treat him like a big man and I don't let him think that he can lie down and rely on us. I support his every initiative for autonomy and independence, etc .... Maybe it's all about the person and the character, I already think so and I stopped blaming myself for some of our mistakes. Here we have a daughter, but she is completely different, and I raised them both equally. In principle, I have no complaints about his bad behavior, nor has he caused us any other serious problems. He is calm and responsible, but somehow he doesn't know what to do with his life. Maybe some mature a little later and then what comes to mind what and how, I do not know. I treat him like a big man and I don't let him think that he can lie down and rely on us. I support his every initiative for autonomy and independence, etc .... Maybe it's all about the man and the character, I already think so and I stopped blaming myself for some of our mistakes. Here we have a daughter, but she is completely different, and I raised them both equally. I do not know. I treat him like a big man and I don't let him think that he can lie down and rely on us. I support his every initiative for autonomy and independence, etc .... Maybe it's all about the man and the character, I already think so and I stopped blaming myself for some of our mistakes. Here we have a daughter, but she is completely different, and I raised them both equally. I do not know. I treat him like a big man and I don't let him think that he can lie down and rely on us. I support his every initiative for autonomy and independence, etc .... Maybe it's all about the man and the character, I already think so and I stopped blaming myself for some of our mistakes. Here we have a daughter, but she is completely different, and I raised them both equally.
In my opinion, it is normal for a person not to study and not to work if he does not find meaning in it. I do not believe in laziness. I don't believe there are lazy people. For me, so-called laziness is a lack of enthusiasm. One day trouble will teach him. Now you endure it and there is no motivation. Maybe it doesn't work out because it's about money. He may want to play football, to become a coach. The most important thing is to talk to him, he always likes something at least a little. You have several options for what to do: 1) Kick him out of the house and stop supporting him. 2) Help him find his calling, talk to him carefully 3) Find an acquaintance who is doing something practical and ask him to take your son to help him for a while, and you will tell your son that the person he told you he needed an assistant. Your acquaintance may be a car mechanic, a builder, carpenter, shoemaker ... It is important to do something with your hands. If he is not learning, he will still be interested in doing something.
As a teenager, I had such a period. In my opinion, the problem is not laziness, but the lack of contacts. Laziness is a consequence of this. He may be hurt, he may not have self-confidence, he may feel different, he may be lonely because he has no girlfriend, he may be complex, he may be an introvert and I don't know what else. Work in this direction, and the rest will be fine as a side effect. If necessary, take him to a psychologist, but go together, not just him. I think you will be very wrong if you expel him, as you are advised. On the contrary, you need to be understanding. For him, this is a difficult period and he relies on you for support. If you abandon him at such a moment, as his friends did, he will be completely nerdy and hate you forever. My parents did as they advised you, and thanks to that, the connection between us was lost and now I hate them more than I love them. True, I manage on my own, even though I haven't blossomed and tied up, but the relationship broke down irretrievably because I was left to my own devices in the greatest winter, and I didn't even have a place to go. Now they're taking down my stars, but it's too late, kid. When they left me at the worst moment, now even for stars to take me down, they no longer cost 5 money for me. So think carefully if you decide to dry yourself in the "wonderful" advice of people who do not understand at all what it is about and what is happening in the soul of this young man. but late, child. When they left me at the worst moment, now even for stars to take me down, they no longer cost 5 money for me. So think carefully if you decide to dry yourself in the "wonderful" advice of people who do not understand at all what it is about and what is happening in the soul of this young man. but late, child. When they left me at the worst moment, now even for stars to take me down, they no longer cost 5 money for me. So think carefully if you decide to dry yourself in the "wonderful" advice of people who do not understand at all what it is about and what is happening in the soul of this young man.
I am like your son, 1: 1. I don't want to work. There is a job, it's not because of the salary, I just don't see the point. I tried to be independent once, for very little. It doesn't work, it's different for my mother to cook for you, to wash for you, to have home-cooked food. I don't go out, I don't see the point. The same thing every time - cars, women, gossip ... I won't hear anything new. I didn't see the point in learning either, fools are equated with people who are really trying to learn; total demotivation. They tell me I'm lazy, which motivates me even more to be like that, on the one hand to irritate them. I sit at the computer all day, playing games or watching movies, even though I'm over 20 years old. However, there aren't many things to do at home. I also don't help at home, even though they drove me ... I don't wash dishes - I still think it's a woman's job :) to clean ABSURD. Now can you guess why they haven't kicked me out yet? I just won't get along in this world, I don't have the motivation, everything seems superficial to me ... to work, to study, to have a girlfriend, a family and finally what ?! To die. : D So, what's the point?
I guess he's on your alimony now, isn't he? So you stop his money and refuse to serve him at home. But he didn't have clean clothes, for example. Me, you sent them. But he didn't have money to go out, but if you work you will have to see how his mind will come to mind. The other thing is to raise a drone, which will hang and wait all its life, because now it is a student and still has some excuse, but then? He will graduate and of course he will not go looking for a job because he is bored and it is easier to stay at home. And then? Will you give him money again? And for how long? Until he turns 40? If you don't teach him to take responsibility now, how do you expect him to one day have a family and take care of children? Or then, in addition to him, you will also beat his wife and children.
Well, 20, don't you think that your parents won't be alive and well forever beating you up? as they get older, they themselves will need help. then what will you do? will you starve, will you become a bum? you sound like a full crib. if his mother washed him, cooked for him, he saw no point in anything. if I were your mother, you would eat such a kick that you would feel dizzy. people to work, to do housework, he will play on the computer and watch movies because he had no motivation, parasite with parasite! and you are not right at all, you will survive and how, the dog jumps according to the stick :-(
In my opinion, the author should not listen to those who advise him to expel his son, but to listen to the advice of number 18, a very correct comment, I am also of his opinion.
21, the point is to enjoy the incredible journey that is life. I am grateful to have a healthy body and a healthy mind. I love making love with my boyfriend, cooking together, eating together, laughing together. I like to live, to enjoy the beautiful nature, to watch the waves in the sea, to kneel in the grass and stare at the dewdrop, to roll a pancake with honey, to write a poem ... to feel with each one cell and with each breath the life in me. You have stopped living, moving and moving in your lethargic state. My mother has one solution for all of you: "pick number 9". Learn. Read books. Grow vegetables. When you work for something, only then will you find meaning. Do you know why you are so ungrateful and don't value your life? Because you were not about to lose it and because you did not work for it. Our parents value their lives because they were obliged to work. And then everything becomes important. Cars - make your own money for a car, let's see if you care, and then you have to maintain it. Women - all the men I know love to have sex, to enjoy the food cooked with love by their girls, to share their lives with them. Cook, wash, feel it. Why do you play games, why do you watch TV, why do you eat food, clean clothes why do you wear them, why do you sleep in a warm bed. If you do not want to live for you, be useful to those around you who live. Maybe then you will understand why it is good. When you see tears and hear thank you, when you hear I love you and embrace you warmly. Do something with your life, whatever it is, and then you will see.
№20, you chose a wonderful position - nothing makes sense. Well, go get treatment, because those who really don't see the point in anything are depressed, and depression is a serious illness. However, if this is not the case, as I think, you are a super irresponsible creature, for which your parents are to blame!
18, I'm sorry that things turned out that way for you. I would not leave my child on the street in the middle of winter, but I would not let him hang out at home without doing anything like the author's son and number 20. The problem with you was the lack of communication with your parents. did they actually know what exactly was bothering you? however, this in no way means that this is the case for everyone. there are just lazy people who won't move unless they literally start starving. read the post at 20 and say again that there is a need for understanding and support. Mom to wash, to cook, but washing dishes was a woman's job, and cleaning was absurd !? !! with him, only kicking would work. I'm talking from direct observations of a close relative, who, on top of that, has 2 children who are surprisingly decent against the background of alcoholic and idle parents. I haven't seen him in years, the last thing I know is he's a tramp. fortunately he has a house, he is not on the street, but from then on I do not know. while his mother was alive, she paid him for electricity and bought him food with her pension, now I don't know what she eats and how she lives ... so in the end your parents may have gone to extremes, but you still took your life in hands and bravo for that! F42
I don't think he's a psychologist, but I don't know him, I don't know. I think he's lazy, inert, he's hardly depressed. If Dad can wear and Mom can knead - what is the reason for him to change, what to take him out of this carousel? This is obviously easier for him. In general, I think that the sooner you do something, the better it will be for the boy himself. The more time passes, the worse it gets - the example is before my eyes. I have a nephew in this situation - he is already 26 years old, but my brother and daughter-in-law are still beating him up. And he didn't finish high school - he was tired of taking the last exams - and he didn't like the specialty. It has not worked so far. I tried to talk to my brother, but to no avail, I told him that if he continued like this for a few more years, it could be fatal for him. He will not be able to find a good job - who will take someone at the age of 30. no work habits, no specialty, no one-day work. He didn't even get a driver's license. Apparently this situation affects my nephew's psyche, because for 2 years he has not communicated with us, his cousins, or his grandparents. My brother tells me - there is nothing we can do. I would give him an ultimatum to issue and I would not offer him financial help if he refuses a job. He needs to tighten up and start living normally. There is hardly an unambiguous answer - a recipe for getting out of this state. But do something soon. And don't expect him to like the changes - he won't like them if he's inert. Think about healthy, healthy eating and sports. This strengthens both body and spirit. I wish you good luck! Apparently this situation affects my nephew's psyche, because for 2 years he has not communicated with us, his cousins, or his grandparents. My brother tells me - there is nothing we can do. I would give him an ultimatum to issue and I would not offer him financial help if he refuses a job. He needs to tighten up and start living normally. There is hardly an unambiguous answer - a recipe for getting out of this state. But do something soon. And don't expect him to like the changes - he won't like them if he's inert. Think about healthy, healthy eating and sports. This strengthens both body and spirit. I wish you good luck! Apparently this situation affects the psyche of my nephew, because for 2 years he has not communicated with us, or with his cousins, or with his grandparents. My brother tells me - there is nothing we can do. I would give him an ultimatum to issue and I would not offer him financial help if he refuses a job. He needs to tighten up and start living normally. There is hardly an unambiguous answer - a recipe for getting out of this state. But do something soon. And don't expect him to like the changes - he won't like them if he's inert. Think about healthy, healthy eating and sports. This strengthens both body and spirit. I wish you good luck! I would give him an ultimatum to issue and I would not offer him financial help if he refuses a job. He needs to tighten up and start living normally. There is hardly an unambiguous answer - a recipe for getting out of this state. But do something soon. And don't expect him to like the changes - he won't like them if he's inert. Think about healthy, healthy eating and sports. This strengthens both body and spirit. I wish you good luck! I would give him an ultimatum to issue and I would not offer him financial help if he refuses a job. He needs to tighten up and start living normally. There is hardly an unambiguous answer - a recipe for getting out of this state. But do something soon. And don't expect him to like the changes - he won't like them if he's inert. Think about healthy, healthy eating and sports. This strengthens both body and spirit. I wish you good luck!
Some of the commentators seem to give advice to the author when she gives birth how to look after her child. Now I'm going to explain something you obviously don't know. The author gave birth a long time ago - 20 years ago, because most of us are wrong, it happens that we do not always do the right thing. Only later do we realize that we were wrong. It is an honor that the author realizes the problem and seeks a solution.
To number 20! A friend in your place, I would put the rope alone, at the moment! Uff, I forgot - you can't, you better pity your mother! To me, people like you are unnecessary in this world and just trample the earth! People like you and for breeding are not even suitable, that in time you will become a lot and the world will end! From a young age, my parents made me dig with a hoe, instead of playing with other children. I really hated them for that. I grew up, I started studying. I received support only for the 1st semester. I worked in 2 places, fell asleep at lectures, took a scholarship for success, I was also in a dormitory during that time. I also enrolled for a master's degree. I received support only for the 1st semester (I'm not angry with ours, they just had so many opportunities), I was already working on a meaningful job. Then I bought a car, then another and what not. Finally I started work that is along the production (maintenance of machines). I kept looking at people my age who didn't want to study, develop, work hard and take half as much as I take standing up most of the time. It finally dawned on me - in fact, our people had taught me where money comes from, to appreciate it and that everything comes with a lot of effort and work! And the most important thing they told me - "Work with your head, not your hands", because the hoe is here and will be waiting for you! Now I can only say thank you to them! Regarding the author, in my opinion the reason is in you. It's too late to do anything, but still try I wish you success! M28 to appreciate them and that everything comes with a lot of effort and work! And the most important thing they told me - "Work with your head, not your hands", because the hoe is here and will be waiting for you! Now I can only say one thank you to them! Regarding the author, in my opinion the reason is in you. It's too late to do anything, but still try I wish you success! M28 to appreciate them and that everything comes with a lot of effort and work! And the most important thing they told me - "Work with your head, not your hands", because the hoe is here and will be waiting for you! Now I can only say thank you to them! Regarding the author, in my opinion the reason is in you. It's too late to do anything, but still try I wish you success! M28
Hee-hee-hee! I will not be in the place of number 20 when my mother will no longer be able to serve him. I'm really sorry for him. The poor thing!
Well, we are in this situation - the son of 24 graduates and a master's degree by force so as not to start work immediately and what-does not want to work. He goes to two interviews and before he finds out the result of the interview in the office he says that this job is not for him! Given that this is over! We talk about choosing something he likes - nothing that he didn't study! There are also different courses to choose something you didn't want! He lives in another city - where he studied. The accommodation is BGN 400 - we have sent it so far, but we said - it's over to do it myself. I do not know how to help him just lying and playing on the computer! I know I made a mistake in his upbringing but I didn't even know when-I have an older daughter she's not that ambitious it works! We also went to a psychologist, says the clever man, looking for himself, let him be found! Yes, but he is 24 without friends, without ambitions! What to do?
He does so because he is so learned. If you just feed and clothe him without giving him money for coffee and other things, he will soon realize that if he wants to make various tickles, he has to start earning on his own.
Chasing from home doesn't seem to help either. It is as if my husband, with my help, expelled my son / from my first marriage / to look for a job, and soaked in us again. I also thought that when he saw the thick end, he would be startled and kick a man. But not. He wanders during the day, I have no idea even what he eats and where he goes, and in the evening - through the fence in the house and finds a place to sleep and declares that he does not care where and how he sleeps! My husband and I have low salaries and we barely feed ourselves and his brother - he is straight, healthy at almost 21 years old .. However, he is obviously hired. Puck touches, bites there, and recovers. He grabbed me by the neck, I'm his mother, I had to watch him ... And while he was with us, all night on the computer, FB and I don't know what else. During the day he sleeps like a stump until 2 o'clock in the afternoon. I don't know if he has washed 20 dishes in his life, not to mention that he doesn't look after himself, he's too lazy to wash and tidy up. My husband would have carried him in his arms, if it weren't for the empty laziness - he sits on the computer at night, turns on all the lamps / supposedly forgets them ... /, electricity, water doesn't pay, and at 5 in the afternoon he blows his life. Besides, I don't show off, I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't do drugs. That's right. But so what? !! There are friends, but I'm watching them, they are day to noon ... I hear new names. He has three childhood friends - I hope he at least keeps them ... What happened - he grew up without a father and in a modest, almost poor life. And from now on? If I or my husband swallow? !! I dare not think and if I can, I will evaporate somewhere. His brother has a radically different character. It helps, he gets up early and there is even something to talk to him meaningfully. And with the big one only chatter, nonsense, who he fought with, computer programs, how he played WOW and all sorts of things, that's the end of the story with him .. His intellect is lame everywhere ..
I am depressed, at the age of 19, which is a good student and I do not plan to work! Unless it's something with corpses and cemeteries. I have enough problems with illness and learning, I am still a philosopher, and this is not an easy profession.
The fault lies with a society that does not know how to motivate young people. With persecution and tricks of the 20th century, you will achieve nothing but to set it even more against yourself and society and the heptane will not want to work. Young people are rebels - what to work for, for dirty BGN 500 with some capitalist exploiter?
36, extremely convenient position: your society is to blame, the capitalists are exploiters, what to work for? catch up with my own business as you are so open and working for yourself! then you will not be able to lie down, complain and blame anyone else. it's easier for Dad to carry and Mom to knead. the problem, however, is that they will not last forever. then what will you do?
Hi, I have a big problem with my son. I raised him with the help of my parents. He was supposed to be a good child next to the gymnasium. He studied for 5 years and did not graduate, he wasted a lot of emotions, money and time. I did not know what was happening because the university did not provide information, he was an adult. Now she has not wanted to work for 26 years. He had been at home for eight months, his grandmother giving him money. She finished me started me, I will not work, you will give me money, during this time I will be lucky. Accept me as a person who was not created to work. Shouts crash takes bags, insults. I have a big health problem and I don't even know how much pain I go to work and until when. And he says I have to make money. Disputes scandals shouts. He sleeps until noon and in the evening, when he returns from work, the scandals continue until about 5 o'clock. He comes in and threatens to push me, that he would commit suicide for money. It always happens on his results, but I will lose him forever. What to do. His friends no longer want to help because it didn't make sense, they don't call. There is no one to talk to him. Earlier, some of the friends tried to talk to him. He is offended that they are talking to him, he says that I am sending them. I don't know what to do.
Number 38, my condolences. Did this son support you until now? Why didn't he work while studying? My advice is to impose strict rules in your house - either start work within 2 months and stay on it and pay your bills at home or through the door. He was going to commit suicide another time.
from n. 16 People, enlighten me ... Our son-in-law has already found a permanent job, which he likes and has a chance to develop in it. The relationship with his girlfriend deepened and even 3 months ago he married her. This had a very stimulating effect on him - he is already spending money on a deposit with the intention of buying a home. He likes to travel (now with his wife) and go out too, and at home he likes to cook - he is a great cook, he also works in his free time - repairing computers .... I am glad that he became independent and I encourage him in this . The matchmakers like him a lot, and the matchmakers pamper them a little - which I don't approve of at all, because I think that one should push oneself, organize one's life and not rely on one's parents if possible. I tell him that a man must be able to take care of his family and be financially stable. And the bride and groom a little "
well done, 40, glad for you! but he actually had an online business before, so it wasn't as bad as the others. 38, how he has been waiting for a lot of years to feed and raise him without knowing how he is doing, what you are giving your money for ... it is not true that the university does not give information - grades and student status are not personal data. go in person and talk to them, although this is clearly not your biggest problem. don't worry, you won't commit suicide, these are manipulations. tell him you will kill yourself and then he will be hungry! I am very interested in how you feed a problem for years and finally roar: but what happened !? !! what is the solution - turn off the tap, no matter how many scandals it raises. F43
nom 38. He studies at a western university, he still has a lot to study, he worked in the summer, but the money was wasted anyway. Just now another scandal broke out at home. He wants money and he wants money, there was no one to hire him and that's it. I don't help him, period. This time he didn't reach for the purse. I've gotten to the point where I'm hiding the money. He usually pushes, smashes and insults for eight months. Having fucked Rosen, I have to watch him now because I'm his son. DNS said there was no one to hire him. The last week, without looking for contacts with him, he explained that he was not created to work, and if I gave him three thousand levs, he would invent nothing and even look at me with that money. He owes money to a moneylender and today he explained to me that I had to return this money as well. I RETURNED LAST YEAR. OFFENSE ENTERS EXITS, CRUSHES THAT I AM UGLY, THAT I AM A FOOL, THAT I AM NOT INTERESTED IN SUCH FAIRY TALES. Tomorrow I plan to go to a psychologist, to my classmate. One night he had torn his grandmother's clothes for money. Call the police, I'll beat you in front of them. That was his answer for a week without me asking. Today I didn't take any money, I have BGN 20 in my wallet. And I don't know what this is due to, his usual reaction is to take them and mix everything up. Maybe he decided to try another tactic, I don't see what I can do anymore. To die. He died. all such will not speak. I was going to die rich, it was good for him to know that I was rich. And the most shocking thing is that I really don't have a huge health problem. And in spite of everything, according to him, I should continue to endure him, because he was lucky and his luck smiled from somewhere that was not going to fall out. Well, I don't know how to smile with luck, to lie at home, to talk on the phone when and who to go out and the luck to come to me. His friends from high school in mathematics are infinitely decent, last year they made an effort to really help him.
I'm just like №20. I don't study, I don't work, I don't have friends and I don't do anything at home. I stay at the computer for 14-15 hours a day, and the rest of the time I sleep. I am 20 years old and I don't see any sense in anything ...
how much you have to be a person to tell your mother who looked after you, gave you money to study, gave you money to get rid of usurers. Give me money or eat me ... When will all this hell end.
I am in the same situation as this son, but I understand perfectly well that this is a lack of motivation. When I was little, I loved learning. I also had contacts, although I was also an outsider. And yes, it was difficult, but it was actually easy. I am supported by my parents, I have never worked, and you will say to yourself "another mother's son". I know I don't have to, but I'm just extremely demotivated to study (even working is much better for me, if I want to run, I'll make my own money). But I am extremely demotivated for learning, and now I am studying 1 course. I changed 3 universities, the first of which I did not graduate at all because I gave up. I don't like to study, that's it! If everyone here wants to fuck me, I don't care. At home, my parents are conservative, and with conservatism they managed to demotivate me from everywhere to study. People - parents, young and old - find out you will not force us to become human! Throw your worn-out, stupid and boring idea of raising a child in the trash, you will NOT teach us! If you want to hate me. My dream is to move out, to start work and not listen to stupid dumb lectures about life and everything else. It's hard for me. You will say "pfah, is it hard for you that all your life they have served you everything ready ?!" Well, who drove you? If you had motivated us to be independent, if you hadn't read to us about the fact that we don't study and if you had left us alone when it was time! Come on, good health. to start work and not listen to stupid dumb lectures about life and everything else at all. It's hard for me. You will say "pfah, is it hard for you that all your life they have served you everything ready ?!" Well, who drove you? If you had motivated us to be independent, if you hadn't read to us on horseback that we don't study and if you had left us alone when it was time! Come on, good health. to start work and not listen to stupid dumb lectures about life and everything else at all. It's hard for me. You will say "pfah, is it hard for you that all your life they have served you everything ready ?!" Well, who drove you? If you had motivated us to be independent, if you hadn't read to us about the fact that we don't study and if you had left us alone when it was time! Come on, good health.
45, you are right that your parents should not pressure you to study just because of the bare diploma and because of their ambitions. however, you, for your part, should have taken your life in your hands a long time ago and, if you are not learning, start working and becoming independent. I quote you: "My dream is to move out, start a job, and not listen to stupid dumb lectures about life and everything else." that who's stopping you, sweet mother? when you're an adult, I don't see what's stopping you from making your dream come true :-)) let me guess, you're bored, you don't feel like working and that's why you prefer to drive on your back, grumble and complain about how bad they are and how they don't understand you. people have their understandings and do the best they can. if you do not agree, take your own path. no one has to motivate you, to make your life easier and more enjoyable. you are an adult, get better if you don't study. I wonder then who will be to blame for you - the government, the state, fate ... G44
№ 38 it is best to expel him with the police, ask you for a restraining order not to approach you and officially give it up in the State Gazette. I know that the last step is your child, but it is better not to have a son before this one is harassing you. My grandmother had a similar problem with my uncle, she went to live in the countryside, but he still went there and terrorized her. The last time he came to Sofia he tried to throw her out the window, the police called, they were suing him, he was in a psychiatric hospital for 3 months and now he has become human, but I don't know how long. I don't believe it would change and that's it! My father advised him to give it up as a son, to sell the equipment, as if he would replace it with a smaller one, that's the only way he could talk about everything being older. Don't make her mistake but act, I know it's not an easy decision! As for the author: Ma'am, turn off the tap for everything, pay him no net or phone, and give him an ultimatum or get a job. Don't do it, pack his bags and get out of the house! In Gerchania, when they reach adulthood, they are taken to a place to live on their own!
You know very well what the outcome is. I guess you stand here and ask, just to be 100% sure. The solution is to turn off the tap and not give him a single lev. And you and your husband tell him, "Either you work or you study." Let him choose for himself. What you are doing now is a bear service from which you will see nothing good. He must learn to value money, make his own money, pay his own bills, and be generally independent. "Mother's children" in life succeed very rarely. Upseh! AKATIM
Oh ... I'm shocked at what kind of parents there are. From one extreme to another. It can be said that I was in the place of the author, although my story is a little different. From the age of 20 I had to manage on my own in life, incl. to help my parents who have a mortgage. They tried to do business, but they didn't succeed. I paid the loan for 5 years, then from time to time I helped with installments. I bought a water heater and others. appliances, because everything has an expiration date and at some point stops working. I set aside my morsel for them, I deprived myself of any outings with friends. It's just that at one point it weighed a lot on me because I graduated from university and I wanted to realize what I was studying, but I was doing something else and only because of the money. I had a lot of work, I haven't slept all night and I've been standing like a zombie in front of the computer to make a nice Christmas, for example. I lived in another city and practically supported two households, it was very difficult for me and I was literally ruined from work, there were moments when I didn't have 15 minutes to take a shower. And no gratitude. It was as if it was the most normal thing in the world for their 20-year-old daughter to support them. At one point, they even slept thinking about finding a job, and their financial demands increased every month. I was like a piggy bank that just shakes and something always falls out. Both my parents are university graduates, with a good education, but in the small town you are 45-50 years old, the labor market is not available for you. I understand it well, but they didn't even have the motivation. At one point I got tired of living to support them, I found a job in my specialty and turned off the tap. Except that the damage I did to my health is still there. I ruined both my beauty and my nervous system, and they didn't appreciate what I did for them. Not that I expected to receive a medal, don't get me wrong. But my mother required me to go and send her postal records, and she hung in front of the post office until the receipt was received. Once I had a lot of work, I couldn't catch the working hours of the post office and it made me a drama, as if I did it on purpose. And in my work I had deadlines, I couldn't drop everything and go to the post office to send records - doesn't the money have to come from somewhere ??? She might have thought he was shoveling them. I also felt disgusted when I gave her BGN 400 (which was a lot of money then) for one Christmas to buy food for home and everything I needed, and she served me chicken with potatoes and colored salt when I came home for the holiday, because he had no money to buy normal spices. I was furious to the right. She lied to me that the money had been spent, and that wasn't true - I happened to see it in her purse. Why did she have to do it? It's my fault too, because I had to stop supporting them much earlier. Suddenly it turned out that they could handle it. They had to starve for several months. I gave them only BGN 100 a month and they drove on bread and water, my heart was breaking, but here - it became clear that they could recover. Obviously there had to be motivation with hunger, which is really disgusting, I agree, but you have to understand me too - I'm a young woman, if I start a family tomorrow, what? Will I have to support a family with a husband and a child, and parents? I'm sorry, but I can't bear all the financial responsibilities in this world. This, in my opinion, is complete nonsense about depression. The author is watching a mother's son. She was rightly told to turn off the tap. He is irresponsible to himself and others. How is it expected that this man will find a wife tomorrow, will take care of children. I see such men aged 40-45, they live with their parents and no woman looks at them. And even if she looks at them and things get worse, she gives up at some point. I had one such individual at work, at the age of 40 his mother and father came to bring him cigarettes and lunch at work, or he had lunch at their place (although they live quite far from work). They bought him an apartment. They bought him a car. And ...? Well, he's still standing next to Mom's skirt. The picture has not changed to this day. Such upbringing and pampering creates men incapable of coping with life. Not that there aren't such women, but at least they can clean up at home ... in general, our society creates young people, who are unable to separate from their parents. There are many excuses - that salaries are low, that it is very difficult ... However, the truth is different - whoever wants, finds a way, because adversity teaches. I think that the young man should be abruptly stopped from supporting himself. University is a privilege, not an annoying obligation! Do you know how difficult it was for me to study and work ??? While my university colleagues spent whole nights in chalga discos and bars, I lost sleep so I could study! And I graduated with better success than them, simply because I was motivated. Who does not have motivation, it makes no sense to take a paper just to have a diploma. Of such people, the level of our higher education has fallen below level 0. The young person must understand that he cannot live the life of a child without responsibilities forever. At the age of 20, he must be a sophomore at the university, it is not too late for him to decide to enroll in another specialty. And just because you study doesn't mean you don't work. Do you know how many people who are not from the same city and pay for accommodation work so that they can afford to study? The boy should be encouraged to do something and move out to live alone, because a man who has not lived alone and has not dressed, ironed, washed, not cooked, not cleaned, is not kind, is unfit for life today. If necessary, it should be approached in a rough way. Any whining and excuses that he can't do it alone is a pampering. who has not lived alone and has not dressed, ironed, washed, cooked, cleaned, been kind, unfit for life today. If necessary, it should be approached in a rough way. Any whining and excuses that he can't do it alone is a pampering. who has not lived alone and has not dressed, ironed, washed, cooked, cleaned, been kind, unfit for life today. If necessary, it should be approached in a rough way. Any whining and excuses that he can't do it alone is a pampering.
In Bulgaria it is a common practice for children to play as much as possible. Just look at what proms are being made and that credits are being drawn. Some clothes fly, some evil ones and everything to show ourselves in front of people. Children get used to getting everything ready-made without any effort. No wonder then why nothing is done to them. I know many people who do not live with their parents, but everything is provided to them and continues to be provided by them.
Thanks at 49. Very correct. I also encounter such people on a daily basis. Mother's sons. They take out loans that their parents pay. They live on money that their parents give them. In general, they live a loan life. Ungrateful, oversatisfied mother's sons. Accustomed to everything ready. And who, after remembering their mothers and fathers, transfer everything to their wife's head, if they have managed to find one. I'm talking about men, although there are a lot of "princesses" to whom it applies. I will be happy to communicate with a person like you 49. Find me on skype. AKATIM
38 I wrote some time ago Nothing happens to my son. I sent him abroad, spent everything. The old song came back, give me the money to beat me, I can do so much. He broke everything at home, I moved out of the house. now he is harassing his mother, but she did not want to leave. He doesn't want to go to a psychiatrist or a psychologist, give him money to have money. I'm not going to work and that's it. How a gram doesn't break and how he lives with the thought that two sick women can handle it. He is behaving as if he is abandoned, but he is 27. I don't know how long he will last, I have a serious health problem. SO FAR I LIVED WITH A FRIEND, from tomorrow I am in a dormitory. According to a psychologist, you have to go to a psychologist for a very long time. And he won't hear. HE HAS DECIDED THE MONEY IS RAINING AND THAT HE IS VERY GOOD IN POKER. There were also suspicions of mental disorders. I have the right to be informed, but for now I reject an application to the court for involuntary treatment. he will find me and beat me. Today he saw me in the city, asking for money and that is, I was called a whore. I can't touch his problems. I just know he needs money. I need it, I'm sick, working at low pay, literally struggling with misery, without medicine like that. I can kick him out under the domestic violence law and he stays on the street angry and beating. The police are not working. He does terrible things, is a lair at home, drinks every day. angry and beating. The police are not working. He does terrible things, is a lair at home, drinks every day. angry and beating. The police are not working. He does terrible things, is a lair at home, drinks every day.