Am I wrong or has my husband become arrogant and disgusting lately. We have a child who is almost two years old, who has teething and probably because of that he is so nervous and constantly screams, roars and pulls me by the blouse and looks for milk, refusing to eat food. I've been doing everything since he was born - I've been watching him all day, my husband hasn't changed a single diaper, he says it's my job (I don't have a problem with that, I'm just noting), I feed him (or at least try), I vacuum , I dust the furniture every day (it's like that with a child, it has to be clean), I pass the floor with a wet cloth, I clean the toilet, I run a washing machine with our laundry, then I wash the child, then I stretch, then I cook ... then I take it out the child on a walk outside. And he comes home and only has dinner, and even a few hours with his child costs a lot. The child screams when he is stubborn and grumbles, we do not sleep at night, wake up at least 3 times and refuse to sleep quite often. We needed food tonight and decided to make stuffed peppers. We went shopping and when we got home I saw that we didn't have tomatoes. I hadn't checked the stock because we were out and I was already tired from the whole day. I asked him to go to the store below us, but he got annoyed and said it was my fault that I had gone alone. I was just thinking of jumping across the balcony and just dropping everything on the stove and hiding in the bedroom to cry. This is not life. Every day the hellish workload, we don't have an elevator and it's a total pain to take down this child who is fighting with me in the meantime. He never cleans or does anything but go to work (he has a light job) and throw the rubbish that piles up on the terrace once a week. He insults me all the time, he is mean, if I keep quiet he gets annoyed and calls me weak and when he starts arranging the child's toys he tells me that the strong rule the chaos, and I was not like that. I'm crying, I hate him now, I hate my life. My hair is tousled, I'm tired, my clothes are torn from baby shoes, I have a dried mess on my blouse, skinny neck, my ears will explode from "ma ma ma ma ma ma ma" and I'm tired of someone pulling my blouse up for breast milk more than 10 times a day ... At night I go to the crib like a ghost and when my battery drops I just don't go ...
Answers 24
Wow, you have a real bastard for your husband. He sees you in this state and yet it doesn't help you ... are you sure he has any positive feelings for you at all? Why did you allow him to spread like that, to order, to be lazy and on top of everything and to brag to you from above ... can't you raise a scandal? Or are you afraid of being beaten? And no, it's not just your job to change diapers, clean, cook, etc. It should help you with everything. Otherwise, what is it for you? Another sopolanko at home, useless and nasty ... If I'm in your place, come and see what happens if I behave like that.
Think of a good reason to let him look after the child and cook for at least a day. Maybe on the weekend. Let him stay at home and see what it's like to look after a child and run a house, because now it seems like a ligature. When you get home, there are two options - either he won't do anything, for which you can shout at him as he calls you, or he'll be out of work and not know what kind of world he is in. Lack of respect to motherhood and housework is very common and is a big problem. I would feel terrible too. Act while it's time, your man needs a good lesson, you won't succeed with stories.
When you're not ready, who forced you to start a family? Look at these men, I bet your husband has shown that attitude before. Create situations and judge.
Hello! I am the author of the topic "Please for opinions" from the section Love and infidelity! You are another mother who shares almost the same story here - a man who changes with the birth of a child! Apparently men, when we give birth, become very insecure and are not ready to take responsibility to be real men and parents! And, of course, their weakness kills in disinterest and killing complexes. The men somehow, after the child has already appeared, think that we are tied in a towel and their impudence crosses any limit! Older women are used to being servants and being crushed by their husbands, but we are a completely different generation and that hurts us and distances us from them! Now some misogynists will jump at you, but you don't even count them, because they don't even love themselves, what's left to feel love for a woman! For me, both sides must work for the family! Get advice from other commenters! I wanted to tell you that you are not alone and I am sure that these mothers, like us, are unfortunately quite a lot. It is full of weak men with a confused point of view, what a family is and how it is preserved and works! I hope you find balance in your family!
Don't underestimate your husband's work! You think it's light and pleasant, he may have said so before, but it may be just the opposite - only the worker knows. However, he already knows that he has to feed 3 throats and it is probably not easy for him.
You control your chaos on an enviable level. You are not weak, you are strong. You just have no idea how many women in your place would have left their husbands or decided that they didn't care at all that some part of the house wasn't lit by cleanliness. You are not a maid-cook. You are a mother and a wife. It is perfectly normal to run your household, but even more normal, when you are in such a severe emotional state, for your husband to give you a hand. As he started, he will soon tell you that he is the boss, because he makes money while you look after your child. I don't think it's fatal if you're late for dinner, asking for help, or forgetting something. You are not to blame, you live in such circumstances. In your place, I would make stuffed peppers with paprika instead of tomatoes. I wouldn't expect anything from my husband in your place, because he obviously doesn't control the chaos, it is weak, it is not worth investing in it. What do you think his chaos is? He works, goes home and wants everything ready, then goes to bed, and if he can't fall asleep, he raises scandals, as if you can control the growth of the child's teeth. For a mother, 4 hours of sleep is a miracle, and for a father it is a complete nightmare. And it shouldn't be. You are much more tense right now. You are overwhelmed with responsibilities, you manage on your own, you don't even communicate normally with adults. That's why you want to jump from the terrace and often, you are not the only one, many in your place would consider it. Relax. Your child will soon relax, at this age it is very difficult for them and they are struggling with these teeth. The child does not cry because fate has decided to punish you. The child cries because he is a child and has a problem that he cannot handle. Your husband should understand this, instead of criticizing you at every opportunity. It is possible that you are nervous, which leads to minor arguments, but he is a complete bastard anyway. And please stop having such high expectations of yourself. I read your story and I had the feeling that it was written by a superman, by a machine, I know. You do so many things and you deal with them that it's not really easy! With a 2-year-old in my arms, will I be able to dust every day ... I will wipe, but I don't believe that I will be able to do it every day, and you succeed. Your husband just married a little miracle, but he doesn't realize it. You have principles, you follow them. You have obligations, you do them. You have a child and a man, you watch them. So far, I've kicked the man for at least a week to watch only one, not two. You may be nervous too, leading to minor arguments, but he's a complete bastard anyway. And please stop having such high expectations of yourself. I read your story and I had the feeling that it was written by a superman, by a machine, I know. You do so many things and you deal with them that it's not really easy! With a 2-year-old in my arms, will I be able to dust every day ... I will wipe, but I don't believe that I will be able to do it every day, and you succeed. Your husband just married a little miracle, but he doesn't realize it. You have principles, you follow them. You have obligations, you do them. You have a child and a man, you watch them. So far, I've kicked the man for at least a week to watch only one, not two. You may be nervous too, leading to minor arguments, but he's a complete bastard anyway. And please stop having such high expectations of yourself. I read your story and I had the feeling that it was written by a superman, by a machine, I know. You do so many things and you deal with them that it's not really easy! With a 2-year-old in my arms, will I be able to wipe the dust every day ... I will wipe, but I don't believe that I will be able to do it every day, and you succeed. Your husband just married a little miracle, but he doesn't realize it. You have principles, you follow them. You have obligations, you do them. You have a child and a man, you watch them. So far, I've kicked the man for at least a week to watch only one, not two. I read your story and I had the feeling that it was written by a superman, by a machine, I know. You do so many things and you deal with them that it's not really easy! With a 2-year-old in my arms, will I be able to dust every day ... I will wipe, but I don't believe that I will be able to do it every day, and you succeed. Your husband just married a little miracle, but he doesn't realize it. You have principles, you follow them. You have obligations, you do them. You have a child and a man, you watch them. So far, I've kicked the man for at least a week to watch only one, not two. I read your story and I had the feeling that it was written by a superman, by a machine, I know. You do so many things and you deal with them that it's not really easy! With a 2-year-old in my arms, will I be able to dust every day ... I will wipe, but I don't believe that I will be able to do it every day, and you succeed. Your husband just married a little miracle, but he doesn't realize it. You have principles, you follow them. You have obligations, you do them. You have a child and a man, you watch them. So far, I've kicked the man for at least a week to watch only one, not two. Your husband just married a little miracle, but he doesn't realize it. You have principles, you follow them. You have obligations, you do them. You have a child and a man, you watch them. So far, I've kicked the man for at least a week to watch only one, not two. Your husband just married a little miracle, but he doesn't realize it. You have principles, you follow them. You have obligations, you do them. You have a child and a man, you watch them. So far, I've kicked the man for at least a week to watch only one, not two.
your husband is lazy, who thinks that a woman should take care of everything, and he should just sit on the couch and drink beer while watching the match. Try to include it, if not in the housework, then at least in the care of the child. This is not done with reproaches and scandals, but with a more delicate and kind attitude. On the other hand, apparently the child is accustomed to being slimy and whining. If you are tired of it, stop breastfeeding. At almost 2 years old, he does not need breast milk, but normal food. His teeth may be bothering him, but this has clearly become a way of imposing. When he stops breastfeeding, he will eat, and most likely start sleeping all night. At this age, it is a habit, not a necessity.
What is this nonsense about involving a man in cleaning and cooking? This is not their job unless they live alone. Such women are strange to me, honestly ... It is a pleasure for me to cook, clean and "serve", of course, to whomever I want.
And it wasn't very good, but give him a syrup for the child's teething pain. You will have peace of mind for at least two or more hours. I do this when it gets hot. It depends on the pain, but his strongest calmed down in 2 hours. Otherwise, there is nothing for your husband to do - and mine is like that, I will not be surprised if all men in Bulgaria are like that. I'm sad for the children and mine and yours want to play with the fathers, but they don't care. Something is more important. I hope they realize what idiots are. I advise you to find solace, in the sense that some kind of anger buffer will be easier for you. I became addicted to watching movies at night when the beast and his father fell asleep. I look romantic and tearful. I do the cooking in the morning before we go out, then we shop for the next day and so I make sure everything is ready before my husband comes.
Hello, I am writing to tell you that you are not alone. I have 2 children and 1 more in the face of my husband. In the morning I wake up the older one for school, I have to prepare breakfast for her and make sure that she is fine so that she is not late, while in the meantime I dress, feed and prepare her 2-year-old sister. I drive her to school, then wash, iron, stretch, clean the house, and make lunch. My little daughter is very violent and roars and capricious all day and everything I do breaks down exactly after 1 minute, after which I start again. At noon I go to pick up the big one and help her with the lessons while the little one sleeps. Then he played and went home again, which was followed by a new dose of deliberation after the child. My husband works 15 days a month, even if he rests, he never plays with the children, he never goes out with us. I have written it to help me. When I gave birth to the baby, he was on a business trip for 7 months, in which I was completely alone, 4 of them with 2 children and absolutely all responsibilities. When the children are sick only I serviced them, he is only the driver to the hospital and the supplier. When I get sick I still have to look after the children on my own, whether he is at home, never or very rarely helps. I do not have a day off, I have no right to get sick or be absent. Otherwise he is not a bad person, he takes care of us financially, he doesn't harass me, he comes home on time ... But he is very bored, he rarely helps with the children, he thinks they are a personal and only duty ... Sometimes I let my daughter scream and he roars and I bite my lips to blood, because if I explode they will write me in the newspapers later. I often cry and feel that I am immersed in this routine and my life is valuable only insofar as it is to ensure the life and health of my children. Unfortunately, many women are like that. I have nothing to comfort you with, nor can I promise that it will get better soon ... Maybe in 18 years ... When the children move out ... Good luck. You're not alone. Accept it. Fight for. A woman should only love her children, only in this we have no choice. For your husband, you can choose whether your expectations of him will disappoint you.
Why do you get married and have children? You call your husbands insulting words, your children too, your life weighs on you ... Why did you make unhealthy families?
Hello author, I am a man of 24 and recently I have been thinking about family ... This is an explanation of why this is my opinion ... So I don't know how you choose such men .. Examples of pain .. But why do you put up with it .. I don't really understand. I can't say anything who knows how smart except leave it after it doesn't care about you and the child .. 9
I don't understand you women. Once you see that my own spouses are useless, you can leave them and divorce them. You are Bulgarian - Christians, emancipated and equal women, you are not Muslims from the East who have no choice. And now what happens - you hate your husbands, you shout at your children. Just get away from your men and that's it!
Author, what can I tell you? I dare say I'm a man just the opposite of yours. This cleaning, laundry stretching, babysitting (I even changed more diapers than you), except that I didn't have much in cooking, but I still worked privately and I was still close to my wife for almost everything. Finally what? It turned out that she had to have sex with me because I wanted to, and she didn't have the strength because she took care of everything herself. Well, if it's not ingratitude, say hello to him, but she hasn't found anyone to blow her head off in a fight and treat her like a maid. Now, now it's different, that stupid one is another person, the grandfather asks himself. Naturally, she was to blame for stealing it from under her nose, but alas, what to do, that's how you made it.
14 - And when they depart from their husbands, do they come to you? Will you feed their children?
Hi, I am the mother of a 4 year old kid. I went through the same thing with the difference that my husband was not so rude. Things got better for me when the child grew up. I went to kindergarten and I was significantly relieved. I started to have more free time. But this age up to 3 years was a nightmare. For teeth, I advise you to give him a ham. And if Panadol hurts a lot. I can't advise you about the man, he won't change. It can even get worse. I replaced him a year after the misunderstandings started. I think life is too short to endure misery. And happiness is something we have to create for ourselves. After such stress come health problems. The body weakens from constant stress. Appreciate yourself more. If necessary, you will not wash, or wash only your own clothes and the child. Shop a little, as much just for you. Make sure your husband doesn't have the comfort of a maid like you. Let him move himself. Not clean. Limit your homework as much as possible. If you can visit more often. Wait for him to go to the garden, grow a little, another year, two and get rid of this man. SUCCESS!
16, I am the child of such an eternally dissatisfied woman, who made her complexes on me and my brother - she shouted and punished us for doing and not doing, constantly criticizing our father and setting us against him. For a long time, in fact, we believed her and thought that the problem was in him, and she was almost a martyr, and we blamed him. We realized quite late that he was actually the more literate parent, and she was doing it herself. Well, to be honest, I prefer they were divorced ...
16, and why is it presumed that the children belong to the mother? The children have 2 parents - mother and father in many countries, in others they are parent 1 and parent 2. They did not leave because they are used to it. They complain to the heavens, but in fact their money is constantly laid, probably the home is insured. Who runs away from the good? -No one. Who likes to complain? - the Bulgarian. Who likes to complain more than the Bulgarian? -Married woman with children. What is being done on this site? - Complaints. There is no who knows what explanation and there is nothing to wonder so much. Use and complaint - unfortunately the life of an ordinary Bulgarian woman.
16, yeah, women like you are users and hypocrites who stay with men for money because you are unable to look after children on your own - purely financially, but not only after you grumble that it weighs on you to take care of the children and the home you are. You are also incapable because you are losers, so you make your husbands bullies after you use them for money, but because you can't use them for the household - they are bullies. You are disgusting.
Hello, it's hard, your freedom is limited, someone is only from you for 24 hours. Apply for a garden from now on, so you will have something to wait for, like a change. Be careful not to get pregnant again, summer is coming, go to friends or relatives, if they invite you, go out all day with the child in parks, on the way back shop for a quick meal. Try to enjoy the time with the child, buy something nice from time to time, contact some cool mother around. Things are not so black, and it will pass.
As someone here said very well ... your mother's life weighs on you. And what kind of life do you want? .. A whore in bars? You know, my father bathed me, and my grandmother wiped my ass and cooked for me. My mother didn't even want me at all. She gave birth to me at the insistence of my father. She beat me from a fight until I was 15, almost every other day. I NEVER considered her a parent at all. It was just someone at home I had to put up with. Until I moved out to work and live in Sofia at the age of 17. Somewhere, when he turned 40, he remembered to start cooking and greasing me. It could be from menopause, or it could be because I was doing a pretty well-paid job back then and bringing in a lot of money at home. I forgave her. I talk to my father every week, but once every 3 months, I just have nothing to tell her and share. There never was. I'm sorry you'll live for yourself and you weren't ready to become parents. If that reassures you, no one was ready, but at least some are learning to be.
If this is true, I advise you to part with him immediately and irrevocably! And for yourself, and for the child, and for the child's future partners, and for your eventual grandchildren! You just have to !!! F31
The men were not involved in cleaning and cooking in those days when, while the woman was preparing the table in the evening, the man was feeding the animals. So that some individuals rethink their unreasonable demands, and women think about what kind of children they raise by raising them in such families. Not to experience themselves as victims, but to take responsibility!
Up to 16 - just for the money to stay with men? There are several definitions of this - roobini, prostitutes, addicts? How come you can't stand your husband, but wait for his money? This in the most tearful series ends with a fight or ... even worse. you can't want to "realize" yourself as a woman, a mother, a lover, a desired one, etc. No one can be a superhero. Motherhood and home comfort for something very serious and requires a lot of sacrifices. In today's world, babysitters and housekeepers can be hired for little money. At one time, the chorbadjii did not want to give extra money for servants if they got married. Now, some women don't want to "expose" themselves that they can't do the housework. There are many roads, but trust, good fit, good family are hard to build. It's not written anywhere,