Hello, I need advice ... some time ago we met a boy on the train, we liked each other, he is from another city, but he lives and studies in mine. The companies are similar to us, the music unites us, the style too, and as it often turns out in the great novels and soaps, the world is small and it turned out that we have a lot of mutual friends and acquaintances. I fell in love with him, that's clear. From the beginning he wrote to me and said that he fell in love with me, that he cared for me, but he began to impose himself in every way ... he changed me somewhat for the better. what is good and what is not, change my style of dress, thinking everything ... I am 18 and he is 24 (for his age he is really very smart and thinks hellishly sober), the problem is that we see each other very rarely and not due to lack of time ... both he and I have it .. he's just constantly with his friends, we always see each other 3-4 times a month for 2-3 hours, and we're not even alone ... there's always someone around us or we see each other when he's bored or in the evening, when there are no offers to go out ... the problem is that there is no intimate, human attitude, there is no caress, I can't feel in any way that he is holding on to me. Even the already mentioned "fatherly feeling" has disappeared. I shared the problem with him, I talked to him .. he explained that this is something that arose during his last relationship, he was betrayed in every way .. He told me more that he no longer trusts anyone or anything and not that he doesn't want to be trusted, but he just can't ... From then on, after another week, he told me: " I don't like anyone to have information about where I am and who I am with and what I do, I like to stay alone in my apartment for a long time. I just want to enjoy everything and it's good, I want to have fun, I like that I'm not burdened with nonsense, and here's the cult remark: to put yourself and your interest above all and everyone..that's the way I am ".for everything - time..for every thing the justification is time..And I'm tired because it took down stars and suns from the sky, and because everything remained a big empty promise..he doesn't even kiss me anymore, he doesn't hug me .. in my company, where it turned out that they know him, people split into two, they defend him, they say that he loves me, that he insists on me that he is just testing me if he can vote for my trust, and with it his heart .. that he is correct, that I have come across the right person, and the others line him up accordingly, they say that he is fake, that he is mean and calculating, that he just wants to turn me into a "whore", "his toy" to take advantage of me. ... of course I found evidence in defense of both allegations..And I don't know what to do I read a lot of information about zodiac signs, about magic, some complete nonsense .. And this is that I don't want much! I want to be with him, next to him, to feel that he really has sympathy for me, but at least a little attention, some interest and I don't know how and with what to make him deserve these things ... there are a lot of guys, who respect and value me as a friend and want to be with me .. but only he is in my head..What should I do ?? I'm confused and I'm insecure .. it will be easy to break up with him, but that's not what I want .. that's not the point ... that I came across the right person, and the others line him up accordingly, they say that he is a fake, that he is mean and calculating, that he just wants to turn me into a "whore", "his toy" to take advantage of me ..... of course I found evidence in defense of both allegations..And I do not know what to do I read a lot of information about zodiac signs, magic, some complete nonsense .. And this is that I do not want much! I want to be with him, next to him, to feel that he really has sympathy for me, but at least a little attention, some interest and I don't know how and with what to make him deserve these things ... there are a lot of guys, who respect and value me as a friend and want to be with me .. but only he is in my head..What should I do ?? I'm confused and I'm insecure .. it will be easy to break up with him, but that's not what I want .. that's not the point ... that I came across the right person, and the others line him up accordingly, they say that he is a fake, that he is mean and calculating, that he just wants to turn me into a "whore", "his toy" to take advantage of me ..... of course I found evidence in defense of both allegations..And I do not know what to do I read a lot of information about zodiac signs, magic, some complete nonsense .. And this is that I do not want much! I want to be with him, next to him, to feel that he really has sympathy for me, but at least a little attention, some interest and I don't know how and with what to make him deserve these things ... there are a lot of guys, who respect and value me as a friend and want to be with me .. but only he is in my head..What should I do ?? I'm confused and I'm insecure .. it will be easy to break up with him, but that's not what I want .. that's not the point ...
Answers 6
Hello when you are young, you will meet other boys who you will fall in love with, don't change and be who you are. Explain to him how you feel and that not all people are the same. Once you want to be with him, show him every time you're together that you care too much about him and that you wouldn't hurt him. Do something that will impress him if he doesn't become a nice girl, leave him he doesn't deserve you after he loses you he will understand all his mistakes if he really cares about you and wants to get back together .... if he doesn't look for you then he never has held on to you and you were another ..... Stay the way you are you should not change for the sake of a man as he likes in a relationship there must be compromises on both sides ........ in life has many good moments but there are also bad overcomes and continue ahead.
Give yourself a deadline and see how things go. During this time, pay more attention to him, talk soberly with him, tell him what excites you. Seeking the paternal in him puts you in a state of submission, ie. you are with him and you hold on to him and he almost controls things. He has changed you, well, if it's for the better, but if it's just to be beautiful next to him and stand out with you, then it's not love. You have your individuality, try not to depersonalize yourself and not allow yourself to be modeled, neither in your behavior, nor in your dress. This does not mean not taking advice and not changing, but only as far as you want. From what has been written, it is clear that he has become somewhat colder towards you. Talk to him, think and judge. It's easiest to break up with him, okay, but it's silly to continue a relationship, which does not really satisfy you. And think about whether you love him or the image in your head about him that came from empty promises.
Dear girl, he doesn't love you. We were all hurt. If he really loved you, he would trust you. His actions speak better than his words. In my opinion, this is just my opinion and I do not want to impose it on you, so do not listen to well-wishers. Isolate yourself from the pain in your soul and you will find the truth for yourself. You are only 18. I am 28. They broke my heart cruelly! But then I realized it was better that way. Years later I fell madly in love and I am with my prince. It is clear from your letter that this boy is not for you. He uses you, even without realizing it, and hurts you. One piece of advice: don't give yourself completely to one man, because you will lose him. You will no longer be interesting to him!
This guy doesn't love you and doesn't care about you (my opinion). If you don't want to suffer, drop it and look around. There are also many decent men who will give you what you need - tenderness, understanding and unconditional love!
It says a man. If he doesn't pay attention to you, he doesn't love you. And you will "easily break" What is your problem then? It has nothing to tear. There was nothing.
How much like him to know ..........., don't worry, don't care.