So, the story is quite complicated, I will try not to make it too long. When I was 20, I met a boy of 22. He was the first cousin of my sister's boyfriend, who is currently her husband. This man fell in love with me a lot, as much as it is possible to be very much in love at 22. It was a child's work, but we liked each other very much. The bad thing was that we had a very different social status and lived far away from each other. I was a student, he lived in a village and he was like a bad boy. But he treated me perfectly and very kindly, always with great respect. The problem was that we rarely saw each other, mostly at family gatherings. I wanted to have something more, but he either didn't want to or couldn't give me more - I don't know. He invited me to his home for a few days, introduced me to his parents. Generally, I have good memories of this boy. The bad thing was that he always promised things he couldn't or didn't want to do. He promised me many times that he would come to see me in the city where I studied so that we could spend time together, but he never did.
He kept saying it wasn't for me, that I wasn't for him. So after about 2-3 years of sporadic, but very emotional and sensual encounters, our relationship fell apart. I wanted to go to the next level, he did not fulfill any of the promises he willingly and quite sincerely and confidently gave me. And I just backed off and gave up hoping it would change. 20 years have passed since then. Many things happened to me. During this time we met with him several times at general meetings. The strange thing was that she had the thrill all this time. We looked at each other constantly and watched with our eyes, we kept looking and looking for ways to be alone, as he was looking for more physical contact, he was more proactive than the two of us in that regard. I don't know how to describe it to you when I'm with him, my head flies and a helium balloon settles in its place. I don't know what I'm doing, what I'm talking about, I even lose moments, such as how I got near him. He always wanted me and told me directly, but I, for various reasons, but mostly because I did not want to repeat the old agony called "relationship" with him, I managed to refuse him, although hard.
Also, during these 20 years he had a lot of contact with my sister and they always talked about me at every meeting. He always said he had a great time with me, but there was just no way we could be together. And he always claimed that my pictures, which I had left with him during the visit, are still sitting on the section in their bedroom. I didn't believe him, but when the woman he had been seriously involved with for years told my sister that she had seen my photos and it took her a long time to get him to remove them, I believed them. So until the day we met again after 6 years we had not met. We all stayed for a few days in their house in the village. The chemistry between us still existed, even I couldn't believe it, but it was a fact! He kissed me, said how much he wanted me, I couldn't be with him, I pushed him away again. I was there with my husband, I could not be with another man, if I knew that there is still such a strong attraction between us, I would not even agree to visit this house. But this man excites me in a way I hadn't been excited about in a long time. After we got home, two weeks passed and I got a call. It was almost entirely about explaining love, more about how much he wanted me and how he wanted to see me again.
I told him that I agreed to see him and that I wanted to see him too - well, that's right, I didn't hide how I felt. He said that he would never give up until I was with him, because we are already 40, 42, respectively, and we are mature enough to know what we want. The conversation ended with a promise that we would talk again next week to give me a new number to look for. Two months have passed since then, and this man seems to have sunk to the ground. I called to ask him what was going on, did not pick up, and did not return the call. I texted him, he didn't answer. There's nothing I can do anymore, and I don't think it's necessary.
My question to everyone who has read so far is, what could be the reason for this silence and total ignorance? I know that you can't get into the head of the person in question, but if someone has been in a similar situation or acted in a similar way, I would be very, very grateful to share. Thanks! ЕЖК
Answers 9
You fell in love with a shudder. These people are very emotional and know how to turn emotions into women, which you have a hard time dealing with anyway. I will not even comment at all on the lack of human qualities in the creature in question and the extent to which he is considered decent by other men. Never fall in love with a person who treats you differently than others. If one person is good, he is good to everyone. With this one if you had gathered now he would probably have abused you and abandoned you alone with children. Besides, he was probably with many others while you sighed at him. He is currently looking for you only for sex.
I have been in a similar situation and I have never understood what causes such behavior to this day. Like you, I saw the man in question years later, and his behavior was exactly the same as that of your boy. One promised and talked when we were together and when we met 15 years later, then he didn't call, didn't pick up the phone, didn't write. I don't know what this behavior is due to and I'm interested to know.
I was in the same situation and eventually chose my husband. Sometimes I still think about the other, for example when I see him and I don't know what's happening to me. However, unrequited love is the strongest.
Yes, for no reason, spit out the stone, huh?
"What could be the reason for this silence and total ignorance?" - To your insecurity, indecision and contradictory behavior, which have been transferred to the relationship from the very beginning and have given it such a start and development. Now what you see and what he demonstrates is an unconscious reflection of what you set as a tone so many years ago.
Men sometimes know sensibly that we can't have a woman either seriously or give her what she deserves and wants or just be the one we need to have her. But this does not mean that the woman in question and the thought of her do not leave our heads for weeks, until we finally surrender and write / call / see. Passion prevails and makes us forget the reasons why we don't look for it soberly ... it makes us think that it can happen ... it doesn't seem so impossible. But then reality invades and we remember all the reasons and obstacles and why it's not a good idea and all the people we will hurt along the way, if not itself ... and we don't go to the meeting, we don't call, we sink into the ground. Such an impression remains in me when I read your words. I think it's possible that's why he does it. It may not be so,
What do you expect from a man who is obviously scratching his ego with you and flatters himself that a 20-year-old girl faints on him, because he is so irresistible that when she is in a room with him, her legs are cut off? When you were 20, it's understandable, you were small, it's normal to fish for anyone who tells you a few nice stories and takes down your stars. Now, at 40, I don't understand you. A woman of 40 should be a little more on time and understand that no matter how many butterflies there are in her stomach, nothing good will come of it, and that there will be no connection with this man. He didn't go up to the city when you were free and he didn't have a problem, so now he will step up to call you, look for you and something will happen between you! The fact that you lose moments with him does not mean that it is the same with him :-) Honestly, I don't know what you think :-) Get down on the ground :-) Dude before, and now he was scratching his ego with you. Don't you think the universe is against being together? No, he just isn't interested enough, but he likes that she hasn't forgotten him in 20 years and she's still interested in him. Forget it, put a big line on this man, and move on
It will be useful to read men's opinions. However, men can understand another man and would know the reason for such behavior of another man, as described by the author.
Something is not clear to me from the description of how he decided that he liked you ... I did not see a man in love in this description. 7 He said it well.