Hello! At the beginning of our relationship I was a virgin and he was very sexual, unlike now a few months later ... we have sex quite rarely because of him, he is constantly tired, he sleeps, and other similar excuses a few months ago. days I realized that he watches porn every morning and every night, and sometimes just during the day if he's home and I'm not there .. I'm sick and sad and I don't know what to think ... don't get me wrong, no My problem is that he watches this type of videos, everyone does it, but I am hurt by the fact that he refuses me sex, but he does not fail to go to bed without watching and probably masturbating, that is, he prefers alone and not with me. , I think a lot and decided to ask here .. I'm crying, thanks in advance. My questions are: -Don't I attract him anymore? - Am I freaking out? -Is this normal? -Does he already like and want another? -Did it happen to you and how did your relationship develop? I'm sorry if I sound funny, but the questions really don't give me peace .. otherwise I'm 19, he's 23
Answers 15
Your boyfriend is addicted to porn. The sensations of masturbation and sex are different and that's why he doesn't want to have sex with you. Bad work! You can try to talk, but it will hardly have an effect. He will most likely explode and start accusing you of being crazy, that all men are like that, and so on.
The problem is not in you. It's addictive and it's like drugs. There is a whole community for this problem.
Aroused by other women or other things in sex. You don't arouse him at the moment and he's with you as long as he thinks he has a girlfriend.
Drop it, he's addicted to porn, he won't be able to do it with a real woman any time soon. No, it is not normal to watch several times a day, it changes the biochemistry of the brain and leads to sexual addiction. In time, real women will not arouse him enough, virtual khakis will be more interesting to him. Standard porn will start to bore him, as well as standard sex, and he will start wanting more and more hardcore things in bed. And no matter how much you agree, it will never be enough, he will invent more and more new nonsense. The problem is not in you, abandon him before he has made you a child, because sooner or later this relationship will end, unless he do not seek help, which I strongly doubt.
Wow, he's too old for you! He's like a perverted uncle. Find a young boy up to 20-21 years.
I decided to get involved because I am in the same situation. Only with us the years are more. I have not come to the answer as to why this is happening. And I ask myself a lot of questions. But I'm sure I'm not crazy. This situation hurts me a lot and that is why I keep looking for answers. I will follow the topic.
-Don't I attract him anymore? "I doubt it is." - Am I freaking out? "Not very clear." -Is this normal? - Sex is a prestige check for pleasure. Of course, it is normal for every man to watch. -Does he already like and want another? - You should not draw conclusions from a porn and that he is not having sex, the problem may be completely different. -Did it happen to you and how did your relationship develop? "It didn't happen to me." M23
Few months? You "consumed" the connection very quickly. At your age, you have to break from sex, not porn and checks like yours. He has no interest now, but how do you see him in 5-10 years? Leave it and find someone who loves real sex, more than porn. Don't waste your time, youth is not eternal.
Why don't you ask him yourself? I mean, there's no way we know what's going on in his head.
Yes, he is addicted. Porn wouldn't be a problem if it didn't hurt your sex. There are several reasons why people watch porn: 1. They like the feeling it gives and the "release" afterwards. One kind of release the tension this way. 2. Variety - many and all kinds of actresses, plots, poses, blah-blah. There the woman is yours, available and ready to do everything for you. 3. They often have fantasies that they can't fulfill with their partner for some reason. All this can be found in adult movies. 4. The real world is complex, full of problems and unforeseen situations. Porn is clear and predictable, no one knows what surprises. 5. It's easier. This is my friend's excuse - no worries, expectations and worries. You just open the site and you're ready. 6. The presence of Madonna-whore complex. Generally speaking, this is the inability to get aroused by your official partner while going crazy over every cool stranger. Such men divide women into two: holy mothers and lower whores. They want to humiliate and have sex with light and lewd women until they can imagine it with their pure and unsullied girlfriends. Of those suffering from this complex, Freud says, "Where there is love, there is no desire, and where there is desire, there is no love." If anyone is interested, there is more in Wikipedia. In simple terms, we just say you're bored, but maybe it's more complicated than that. 7. Our way of life. We want everything to happen quickly, to happen now. We do not have the patience and desire to deal with complicated things like sex with a real person. All this together, and the habit he has obviously developed with frequent viewership, lead to the problem, which you have. You're not guilty, you're not crazy or anything. The dude is sick. There's not much you can do unless he wants to help himself. If you want, try to raise the issue, but as you were told above, expect scandals, quarrels, accusations, because no one wants to admit that they are addicted and subject to something. Many people don't even realize it. It will be the same with another woman, maybe if she is some super twisted and perverted bacchanal, his attention will last longer, but after a while he will return to porn. I managed to make progress with my friend, but we never had problems in sex, he did not suffer from porn. But his image of women was quite offensive, he made very stupid comments, and he had rather strange fantasies with random girls on the street. He asked himself to help, he thought to himself and with joint efforts we managed to consolidate the situation. It is far from ideal, but better than before. If you care a lot about your man - try to talk to him carefully, without nerves and accusations. If that doesn't work, run with 200.
When porn is preferred to sex with a real woman, it speaks of a problem. If a man who is addicted to porn spreads while watching, after 1 month he regains his erection and desire for sex with a woman.
In my opinion, he wants something new. Not another woman, but a variety of sex. Maybe a wild love game, oral love or some other pose. Depends on how you do it, if it's monotonous without putting heat, it's normal to watch porn. However, one conversation will not be superfluous.
So the problems in any relationship come from the fact that people do not talk to each other and do not ask questions. My friend also caught him not having sex because he ate more in the evening, because he worked until 8 pm and other reasons. He personally told me that he sometimes prefers chickpeas because it is faster and easier. My advice to the author is to catch him watching porn and then give him a blowjob. Believe me, then he can't help but pick you up. Another option is to write him a sex message that you are waiting for him in the bathroom or to touch him in front of him while you play a porn channel. just diversify a little and you will see how he will start to want.
It is possible that he is really tired and does not have sex, why should you make the boy immediately some porn maniac. : D Stop wanting sex with him for a while and just satisfy him with your hand. Maybe until you beat him and you see that he wants to stop and then you will see how he will ask for it. The trick is to turn him on. There are many ways.
Abe not only men watch porn and masturbate, for example I can not do without regular masturbation (complete with porn) porn is for arousal. And by the way, not always what excites you there would excite you in real life. But the fact that he prefers porn to real sex with you shows that your relationship is doomed. That is, if he masturbated and it did not interfere with your intimate life, it would be ok, but in the other situation ... it is best to leave him to live alone on the checks.