Hello! I'm a girl of 17, soon 18. I've liked a man for a long time. I'm very attracted to him. However, the person in question probably thinks of me simply as "a friend's daughter", because he is friends with my father and is about 30 years old. He is young, he lives alone and you can't understand that he is a 30-year-old man. The thing is, I don't know how to make him see anything else in me, I don't even know how to talk to him, what to do to make him notice me. Maybe you see a lot of the difference in age and maybe it's really a lot, but there's nothing I can do. I melt in his eyes. I do not know what to do, so I write here in the hope that my story will be published and give me useful advice. Thanks in advance.
Answers 25
Maybe he's worried about being your father's friend. And the other option is that he may really prefer women close to his age. It's hard for me to give you advice when I don't know him personally. Still, I wish you success.
Girl, leave this man. Don't ruin his friendship with your father. He's obviously smart enough to accept you for who you are. You may be the most beautiful, the smartest, but he sees in you only his friend's daughter. If you think he doesn't feel your feelings for him, you're wrong. They are always felt. And I have two daughters of my friends, I even know one of them since I was in the 1st grade, and she is already graduating as a student, but she is 13 years younger than me. I see how he looks at me, how he talks to me, how he treats me. I know it, but the girl has literally grown up in front of my eyes and except as a little sister, cousin, etc., I could not accept her in any way. And in the interest of truth, she is a very beautiful and smart girl. But this is the situation. The other girl is the daughter of one of my best friends, neighbors, whom I have known for 10 years. He is your age now. The same job. So accept things and look ahead.
If you only know how much your thinking and perception of the world will change from the age of 18 to 30, you will understand that you really are a child. Now that you can make a relationship, God forbid, is also a fact, although it will be quite difficult for both of you - to tolerate childhood, and you to strive to be equal to him. Because a relationship is far from just romance, love and sex. However, it is not impossible. I wish you success.
Look .. it will be a little difficult to get something between you .. and you understand why ..! Age, of course, is a small obstacle .. But I'm not saying that men at this age will not look at the paw of 17 years .. on the contrary, if you show him that you are actually a mature woman for your age and find that you have in common he may like you, there is no dispute about that, but only up to that point ... if he is of the other types, he can ask a man for sex and sex, he will not have a problem, but you hardly want that? But try of course risk wins risk loses;)
Something could happen if your father doesn't kill him ... My friend is 9 years older than me. Except I'm 27 and I already have some life experience. From my own belfry I see that my thinking and understanding have changed a lot in the last 7-8 years. There is no single answer to your question. On the one hand, one must listen to one's heart, but on the other hand, you are still a child, and he is a friend of your father ...
You made him think that when he was 30 he was a jerk :-) In my opinion, kill your illusions, no matter how old you are at 30, at which age a man or a woman is already thinking about something more serious, about family, children , no matter how sad you are, he will not catch up with you.
How will your father accept this?
That you are a child !!! Have you thought about how your father would react? And the friendship between the two of them? yes, you are a child and you think as such. Don't put the person in trouble, if you really at least respect him, don't push, and wait if he shows interest ... in time. You put him in a very delicate situation, and ... I smell of your piss on a spoiled girl who, when she wants a toy, wants it at once and at any cost. This is not the behavior of a woman, but of a child.
Don't worry, I'm 18, my friend is 39 - something I've always thought was absurd. If there is one thing that will really attract him to you, it will be that you are small and different from his environment. Don't pretend you aren't. Good luck.
Stay calm. You will ruin the friendship between your father and your husband!
Writing has taken too long - usually a person does not read long writing unless he is very interested. The first lines are read - at most a paragraph. In it I will say: Don't stop writing, KEEP OURSELVES - what and how is happening - this is important to me! I don't consider you small - But judging by me - that I started to think, a little more mature only at 23 years old. After life faced me with many difficulties. That I am now 25 years old. and in many ways, I feel like a child - especially in social. So I want to say that at 18 years old. Many people find it difficult to distinguish between passion and true love - I do not yet have criteria for this difference - unless I feel passionate, wait at least a month - I would say this to others, in fact I am waiting in me to lose my feelings to go to I act. But if you are convinced - that in a month, your feelings will be the same for him - here is my advice. In fact, I say what I do in your place - because my loves are also very immoral (not accepted by society). The first thing I want to say, and even just remember it, is good: Take your time! In no case do not talk about your love for him, but show it in every way. The moment you mention your love - it will trigger a bunch of defenses, because of which it should not be. But when you turn his attention to yourself without explaining yourself to him, at some point he will feel attracted, without even knowing why. It can increase its attention to you without you looking for it. Then respond, do not make yourself inaccessible in any case. One of the most important things is to take care of yourself. You are the most important and you deserve to be maintained in appearance in a pleasant appearance. You shouldn't overdo it, but you must be well-groomed, shoes, clothes, hairstyle, do not overdo it with makeup, but let it emphasize your natural beauty. If you have provocative clothes, put them on, but don't overdo it. Here I start from the logic that physical attraction is the same for every age. Try to study it - find out what he is interested in, behave in a way that you think he would like. If you know that he likes certain parties, movies, shows, hobbies. Learn the basics about them and start asking and listening to them on these topics. Here I'm mainly trying to find out by observation what they like - but maybe a direct question - Is there a movie you like - what it's about. Do you have a hobby - there is nothing wrong with these issues. He pretends to be kind and good - he doesn't speak slang - he is 30 and notices your upbringing. This does not mean not to have your own opinion and to accept everything unreservedly. But if you argue, do it with arguments, he would say so if he has an argument with someone. And if he insists on his own - agree with him, but let it seem that you accept his opinion meaningfully. He goes to places where he usually walks. He thought of an occasion and gave him a present. Just like that, without this gift, it means something. Let it be someone he will be able to use or see constantly. After you became friendly with him. Ask him about his family, because it's interesting to you. However, do not ask too many direct questions, such as whether you love your wife - but rather whether you have frictions from time to time. When asked why you ask - well, I'm so interested, if you want do not answer. Yes, he already guesses your intentions, but he can't tell you anything directly, so far you have shown your love only indirectly. When you get closer, make yourself weak, tell him - I don't know why, but I can't catch a friend. Am I bad, am I ugly? Make yourself sad, you can shed a tear if you are a good actress. Yes, these words are completely meaningless - you have been perfect until now, and suddenly you speak like that. However, your goal is not to expose yourself, but to show weakness in order for him, the man, to start persuading you that it is not so if he hugs you (hugs him) but lightly (as if not intentionally). He has already begun to persuade you that you have good qualities, at best, by embracing you. But he's not really talking to you, you're aware that this is theater. He talks and convinces himself that he will be great with you. Men better not do this, as well as girls who are weak actors. It is better for them to say sometimes I wonder if I have good qualities? Do you think I have any? ... I don't know as if no one likes me. The goal is the same. If he does not respond, then you return to a higher level of rapprochement until he / she seeks intimacy. To which you will respond. If he responds in some way - you can come to a confession you know I want to spend more time together. "Why?" - I feel good with you. - What this means? - You list the things that build a relationship, trust, pleasant weather, security (you miss the passion - it is shown, it is not said). Hey stuff like that. You stop here - you can't do more if your love hasn't been returned yet, if only you are active - find someone else or stay in that position. When to confess your feelings - Sometimes direct recognition speeds things up too much. But I personally consider it too risky a move. If you say no to the end - now the chance is less than 10%. In addition, complete avoidance can be achieved. The question - Do you like me - is never answered directly. Answered with a question - And you me - No - Your answer: well communicated sadly and so much. Insisting - what's the point of you not liking me - I wonder what's wrong with me. Answer I asked first - I wouldn't tell you (with a smile) Answer maybe - and I maybe, with a smile (not too much and looking at eyes). Answer only as a friend - Well, yes, I as a friend, although ... forget it doesn't matter (the latter with irritation). Answer To like you - you remember. Insisting on an answer to such a question - why do you ask? You twist, you hint, but you don't admit! As a last resort - YES and explain yourself as the last student. Refusal - I trusted you, now you will tell everyone (sadly), then denial. Acceptance - it is clear to you. In case of refusal - you wait at least 5 days, and you are still looking for it, look, I don't want to bother you (actually you want - that's why you are looking for him / her). I just want to know how are you? - Well ... What are you doing? (I will not quote you a whole conversation). These are tips from a man who has dedicated his life to the study of manipulation - a graduate of PR and Psychology, revealing certain tricks. Recognized and hated for this many times. Now I give an example with me, they are on the topic again. I am 25 years old. The budget is modest. Goal one of the 17-year-old volunteers. or girlfriend? at 16 Which I wouldn't want, but it's a consolation prize. She is 17 years old. A decent girl, strength in spontaneous behavior - which I will use as a weakness. Why is she - I like her character - spontaneity? makes her vulnerable. Current situation - friendship reduced to the organization. Main obstacles - law, girlfriends (can tell), a large audience (can gossip). Action plan - Friday - I sent an invitation to FB. she accepted. I will not do anything else for now. Monday - going to the organization - although we don't have a meeting together - I hope to meet her and talk to her a little. I will ask about school, where he studies, what exactly and which grade is - 10 or 11 - you, brother? sister ?. Brother? and sister? I'm not interested. However, are there a way to? I say, I searched FB - katy, is it a coincidence - hardly. Why I did it - I found it interesting for her - curiosity. On Tuesday we have a general meeting - going earlier, learning more, about the attitude ?, getting into its wave. Thursday - general meeting - another conversation, on common topics - giving a pyramid, for the birthday boy? day which is on Friday. Why a pyramid - it's a decoration, which is usually placed on the bero - where she will be able to observe it. Have I directed the call already? to me - she said, are the girlfriends? released the fly, for me - Some of them and especially the 16-year-old girl. Has begun to show jealousy, begins to behave closer to me - I respond. Next meeting - how did the newborn go? day - active listening. A certain rapprochement - with that of 17 years old, through common conversations - the important thing is: I am somehow always by her side. (But notice I haven't said anything directly yet). Inviting to a cafe, then a movie, a restaurant (if I can afford it) and mutual walks. I'm close to here - but I'm just a friend, nothing more. Purpose - waiting until a convenient moment - a party - where to get drunk to dance and a spontaneous kiss or sleep - (I mean sleep, not sex). Holding this position and inviting me to a restaurant again, or a coffee shop where he can tell me what he thinks. At no point did I act first or explain myself directly. So far, I have created the preconditions. The initiative must come from her, or show unequivocally that I have the green light. She answers me great - I'm with her. It doesn't answer me - am I ingrained in my mind? I'll wait for a convenient moment. He openly tells me to stop - I stop - a serious analysis of where the mistake was made. Waiting and referring to another. Term of implementation - 6 m. Or until I get bored. I will wait for a convenient moment. He openly tells me to stop - I stop - a serious analysis of where the mistake was made. Waiting and referring to another. Term of implementation - 6 m. Or until I get bored. I will wait for a convenient moment. He openly tells me to stop - I stop - a serious analysis of where the mistake was made. Waiting and referring to another. Term of implementation - 6 m. Or until I get bored.
The typical common mistake of adults. That they are guided, mostly by age, to put a label, child or adult. In the dictionary, the word adult means a person over 18 years of age. All other persons: including persons 18 years of age. without a day is a child. In my opinion, this is unfair, it is not possible to judge whether someone is a child just because of his age. The law, however, compromises and provides two more definitions. Minor - a person between 14 years old. and 18 years. Adolescent - only here there is a difference between> 14 years. and> 16 years. I can't remember the different definitions, so I won't mention them. But the two ages differ from a legal point of view. Minor - is a person <14 years old. - kid. I agree to some extent with the law - but I think there are children aged 12-13. who think much more maturely than those of 30 years. (30 years are conditional, emphasizes maturity). However, the traditional society is more critical in its assessment and puts a sign of equality between a child and a person who will turn 18 tomorrow. - as in this case. The tragedy comes from there - that there is equality between a child and a person with limited thinking. - Where is actually the main mistake. I accept as a person, not a person - any person over 3 years. or from the moment of negotiation - because for me, if he can speak, it means that he can think - that thinking has yet to be built - for me it is another matter. Which of the children who put the label so far - can say that his thinking has nowhere to go, to be upgraded? That he always makes the right decisions and doesn't make mistakes? I don't think that the author is small or that she is a child - for me she is a person - who is trying to upgrade her thinking, she has voted for us by sharing with us, to give an opinion - an opinion that we cannot guarantee is right for her. Just because it seems logical to us, doesn't mean it's right. Still, she will listen to us if she considers our logical opinion - logical for her as well. Most - not to mention all the commenters so far made two main mistakes: 1.) They labeled a child - thus rejecting her thinking as insolvent and illogical - in which she pulls you m ... ta. And he stopped listening. 2.) They read the title and grabbed it. But it's not the title that matters - I think the sentence is the most important: The thing is, I don't know how to make him see something else in me, I don't even know how to talk about it, what to do to get noticed. He has meaningfully written only number 11 on this subject - which gives useful advice - but he himself admits that it will probably not be read. That's why he gave advice to a girl - do not give up writing here. Instead of the advice that the author expects - meet tips that read Leave it! - Well, thank you, the author hardly thought of this option and as soon as she sees your comment, I will listen to you immediately, after all, she is just a child! Right? Yes, but NO - the author also thought of this option - But she admits - I can't do anything, I want it - And she asks: How can I win it? - The answer to this question has only number 11 - who, however, admits that he is not sure that this is the way, probably wants to be able to make corrections at any time - and therefore appeals to the author to keep us informed. At number 11, I feel concerned - in my opinion, there is also a personal benefit - certainly gaining experience. Thanks to the administrators for posting comment 11. I will also take on the task of helping the author, to get what she really wants - if she allows me and if she is sure of her feelings that in a month she will not say to herself: Drop this job. I'm sorry I would give coordinates - but I'm on a site where this can not be done - I understand. Since number 11 wants to gain experience - let's drive according to his advice - I and others do not see. To the author: Do you have any idea what your favorite's hobby is? Do you know what he likes? How does he like to spend his free time? Who likes parties, movies, shows? If you can't study by watching or asking. If yes - please share! I hope to know some of them. Since number 11 wants to gain experience - let's drive according to his advice - I and others do not see. To the author: Do you have any idea what your favorite's hobby is? Do you know what he likes? How does he like to spend his free time? Who likes parties, movies, shows? If you can't study by watching or asking. If yes - please share! I hope to know some of them. Since number 11 wants to gain experience - let's drive according to his advice - I and others do not see. To the author: Do you have any idea what your favorite's hobby is? Do you know what he likes? How does he like to spend his free time? Who likes parties, movies, shows? If you can't study by watching or asking. If yes - please share! I hope to know some of them.
№11, you can write a research paper on "What not to do in love". There is a saying "The cunning magpie - trapped with both feet!", So do not teach the girl to do nonsense. Nobody likes insincere, manipulative, playful and naughty people. Remember that the gentleman has much more life experience than the girl, he has certainly seen a lot of female numbers in his life, and very quickly he will feel it if something takes to chic. There is nothing more sympathetic and touching than a girl trembling with excitement, overcoming herself in love, who, despite her insecurities and fears of being rejected, admits her feelings in a worried, deeply sincere and insanely sweet way ...
If you just want to have fun and you can control your emotions, which is a little difficult at your age - show that you like it. I'm not saying it's impossible to get something between you, but the chances of being hurt and disappointed are much higher. Still think wisely ..
H11, you are very bad !!! Haven't you fallen on your head as a child? And you young man, the author, stay calm, sir, don't put your father in such a position to wonder if he should slap you or tear his clothes off with his friend. Realize it a little! Think the opposite option - your father to pour on your girlfriend, how will it affect you? !!
I know a couple who have the same age difference (my girl is a cousin). They met just as she was graduating from high school. And honestly now she is 26 he is 38, I have never seen happier people. They love each other, they believe in each other, they will soon have a child. Dare I think. There is nothing better than loving yourself. Admit what you have to admit, talk and if things work out for you it will be great. Success! :)
14, you are very kind to 11.! I would say - a disgusting manipulator0 you will find your master one day, when you REALLY get wet, and she doesn't even reflect you ... I wish you that! Author, be careful, darling, you better not push yourself where the conditions for contact are not favorable ...
I am 30 years old and I am a woman. When I was 16 I had a friend at 27. And then, and now I can't understand what this man found in me - I don't mean sex, we didn't do - in any way - just kisses and caresses, the times were like that. Now I look at the young people aged 16-17 - they are still children, I can't see such a boy at all, what are we going to talk about, our worlds are so different. And I don't understand relationships with such a big difference - I don't think it's right - even the ancients said it - "a relationship between equals".
Number 14, at one time I did it exactly as he described it, if you know how they laughed at me and how rudely they rejected me :))) Now it's funny, but then ...
H20, then ... you offer your own fears and complexes to a girl who doesn't have your bitter experience. Well, I'm afraid of water. people, don't swim, you will drown !!! You sound so stupid! And I guarantee you that in this "good" way of yours, maybe you can get something temporary, but to keep it .... absurd !!! In fact, they will always run away from you!
Number 20, "Who is afraid of bears - do not go into the woods!" From number 14.
Abe, I think both at 18 and now at 28. Exactly the same thinking. This to number 3. And now on the topic - this age difference is not worrying at all.
24, well, there are also slow-moving, what to do now ...
Darling, the question is not only about years, but also about character. When my grandparents got married she was 18 and he was 31 and then they lived happily for almost 50 years, so if you behave maturely and not as a child and if of course you fit in there is no problem age . Much more important is the question of whether you attract him or not. Because if he has no interest in you, even if you are the same age, nothing will come of it. so it's not age that's your problem, it's how you make him see you as a woman, not as a friend, but whether you succeed, there are already many factors here. Being a friend of your father is also not a problem and I know such people. An acquaintance married her father's best friend, nearly 20 years older than her, and they are happy together. However, I tell you again, a lot depends on the people and whether they will be able to build a relationship.
my girl - you don't think the difference ... it doesn't matter, there must be love in spite of everyone! Well ... I can't tell you anything about it, everything depends on him, but also on you, because if you just stand like that ... well, is he married, ask him, etc. Good luck.