Hello! Until recently, I experienced a great love, I had a relationship with a man who made me feel special and liked. We broke up two weeks ago because things weren't going well lately. Whatever he did, I was still not happy, I was capricious and spoiled, I quarreled with him, I threatened him at the slightest argument that I would leave. scandal. I have a hard time with it. I miss him, I still have strong feelings for him ... I had a lot of free time tonight, I don't know what the hell made me dig into a site for sex dating. I decided to look for people from my city, out of pure curiosity. And ... I came across his profile. He writes that he is looking for a relationship with a woman or two women. When I saw him, I was scalded, as if someone had slapped me, and I still couldn't realize it. Write, that the account was created a few years ago. But I've been looking for it before and it wasn't on this site, so you've obviously resumed registration there. I feel terrible. He had time to visit such sites and write to all sorts of women, but did not find time to talk to me and clarify ... As if everything between us was a lie and there were feelings only on my part .. . I can not believe. I didn't expect to see him there and what kind of person I was with ...
Answers 12
Look, for him, things are obviously over - why should he clarify with you when he wants a new connection (connections)? By the way - you also have time to rummage through sex dating sites, but do not have time to clarify? I think you just lost this person and you have to move on. It is much more important to learn the lessons so that you do not repeat your mistakes in the next relationship. You can no longer have a relationship with this person - you will only be humiliated if you go after him. Who knows, she may even be with someone else. Apparently he can't wait to catch up
In your mind you are children. What does it matter where and what is there? Realize you are not together what you care he has a life of his own and you have parted ways when your relationship ends, and from that moment you are both free to do whatever you want. A man without sex can't stay dry, but it's a pity that you blame him for everything, that he didn't love you, obviously everything was a lie. How did you find out? I'm sorry, but if you pick up 1 fair for me and you're out, he's been very patient, you just got on his head and instead of blaming him, take matters into your own hands, pampering has long been out of fashion, they are already shouting that they are not well with the chief as soon as they behave like that and beat their jester. Also why he finds time to talk you are to blame, why you do not find time to realize, to change, to talk but you do not dig in dating sites and then when the other had a profile ooo he is such and such. Why? He is free to be with whom he wants enough annoyances, he had with you, you wanted to go, you left, you will never come back. Instead of being dissatisfied, change, because no man will let you get on his head, and if he is someone without a brain, he could throw you a fight and kick you out like a dirty kitten. So if he didn't do it, he's not so terrible, you just allowed yourself too much and he's fed up. Think before you speak, because no one will chase you and stop if you want to be a queen, these are childish actions grown on the mind. Instead of being dissatisfied, change, because no man will let you get on his head, and if he is someone without a brain, he could throw you a fight and kick you out like a dirty kitten. So if he didn't do it, he's not so terrible, you just allowed yourself too much and he's fed up. Think before you speak, because no one will chase you and stop if you want to be a queen, these are childish actions grown on the mind. Instead of being dissatisfied, change, because no man will let you get on his head, and if he is someone without a brain, he could throw you a fight and kick you out like a dirty kitten. So if he didn't do it, he's not so terrible, you just allowed yourself too much and he's fed up. Think before you speak, because no one will chase you and stop if you want to be a queen, these are childish actions grown on the mind.
How long have you been in a relationship. It seems to me that you are looking for an excuse. According to your description, he was registered before your relationship, did not visit the site when you were together and started searching after the separation.
"Whatever he did, I was still not happy, I was capricious and spoiled, I quarreled with him, I threatened him at the slightest argument that I would leave ..." Don't be offended, but after the described behavior most men would prefer a sex site dating. The man recovers from a difficult relationship, judging by your description, ie he is unlikely to have a new relationship and therefore has switched to a lighter option (sex adventures). He had the registration before you started the relationship? Does he have to take care of you and wait for you with a bouquet at the door of your home? Then what's weird? I understand that you spotted him peeking at this site during your relationship, but to accuse him of using it when you are not together ... And what clarification are you talking about? Read again what I copied and think about who and what can clarify with you. To clarify why you have too high expectations of him and therefore you were never satisfied? To clarify with you what makes you behave spoiled and capricious (ie to expect someone to satisfy your needs with an advantage over their own)? To clarify why you quarreled and threatened to take him out (instead of specifying what was lame between you then), but in the end he came out first? Even now you are still not happy with him - what sites he visits, what decisions he makes about his life, how he ended his relationship with you (because it was not only yours but also his, so he should have the right to decide at least how to finish it once you have imposed your views on the rest). What to clarify at all? At most, you can make fun of him again and tell him, for example, that he doesn't understand you or hasn't fought enough for you. E, has decided to turn a new page and I can't blame him after this description you made! I advise you to try to clarify with yourself, because otherwise your next relationships will end like this. At least according to what you read, the splits for splitting in your couple are mainly with you. In addition: "But I was looking for it before and it wasn't on this site, so you're obviously resuming registration there." I mean, you didn't trust him and checked to see if he was cheating on you? And did he give you a reason for that? I mean something more serious than a distracted look at a woman with a more serious bust or a comment that an actress is sexy. If he didn't give a reason, then, among other things, you were baselessly jealous of him. I suggest you think about that, too, because it's pretty easy to condemn him as a bad person and say, that there were feelings only on your part only on the presence of registration on the site, resumed after your separation. At the risk of surprising you, not everyone suffers for months and does not look at a woman after the end of a serious relationship - especially if the relationship has bothered him. Sometimes people decide to temporarily see the softness of bread, ie relationships in which the other will not expect impossible things from you, but only what you can give him at that moment.
Very often, after ending a relationship with someone we have loved, we have a habit of blaming ourselves for things we are not guilty of. You say you were capricious, you made scandals ... Do you really think so? If a man makes a woman happy, she doesn't just get into scandals. Being on such a site means nothing. Sometimes men out of boredom register, or out of curiosity. It has nothing to do with the other - whether he loves you or not. Give yourself time and think. If you really feel guilty, look for him. My experience shows that if he truly loves you, even if you are guilty, he will forgive you.
Well, I have registered in such sites from 10 years ago and what? And when I read the first paragraph of your story - it's better that you broke up !!! I don't know what you expect - if you are not together, should he become a monk, doomed to righteousness and celibacy? Besides, you obviously didn't enter the site like that, but you were also looking for a new acquaintance! For that maybe, for him - no? Right?
"Love" and "feelings" are not just words from the dictionary. If there are daily quarrels and threats that you are leaving, then there is no love and feelings. Go ahead and let the man live, he's obviously fed up with you. There is nothing more annoying than a grumbling woman. Your strength is in patience - just as water digs the stone. It's very funny to me when a woman is (or is trying to be) the dominant figure in a relationship.
What are you accusing him of, you yourself have come in to "look around".
Thank you all for your time! In addition to you, I sought help from a family psychologist. It turned out that in my relationship before him, I gave too much, I made too many compromises, then I got angry at this behavior, I decided that I did not want to be like that and in the next relationship I went to the other extreme - of a cold and overly capricious woman. I felt complex and underestimated and unconsciously behaved that way. The psychologist advised me to apologize. That's what I did, as some of you wrote to me here - I apologized. I sent him an e-mail apologizing and explaining my mistakes, and I also told him that I only now understood how he felt about me. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize.
You get clarified with yourself that a little ... otherwise - write to him from the dating site. Share that you realize what a bitch and a bastard you were. Maybe your openness will have a good effect on both you and him. If nothing else - at least you will have said everything
From the author It's me again. During the holidays I work in a shop in the city where we are from. He sometimes buys from this store, but rarely. When I was there, he came twice in a week. He acts as if nothing has happened. Then we ran into each other on the street and he watched me get dressed. But he didn't unblock my number. And the fact that he comes more often impressed his colleagues. But I thought it would unblock me ...
Just because he's registered on a dating site doesn't mean he's used it all along. I also have one on a site for 10 years, but only the first 1 year I used it, then I logged in once a year, as they say, and only recently I needed to use it again. You don't know if he wrote during those few years or not. it may have been just a passive registration