Hello! I need to share my story. We have been together for 7 years, we are not married, but we have a 4-year-old child. We met and he loved me very much, me too. Everything was beautiful, but in the beginning. Things have changed over the years. I wanted us to be happy, to be well, just to spend some time together. Our child was born, he helped me. But in the last years of work at home and does not pay attention to us, does not go out, and sits on the laptop and plays a game. At first I lasted, I said it's temporary, he'll get tired of the game, but no ... If he doesn't play on the computer, he plays on the phone. I tried to be good, to be happy. From time to time we go out, but as if to blur the situation, once a month or week attention for a whole year and play again ... He works and is responsible, but in general all the worries end when you make money. When I see a child in the park walking with his father, it hurts a lot, I feel heaviness. He does not deal, does not go out with his child. She is happy, but only a little. I experienced that there was no attention for me, but for. the child can not. I stopped muttering, I don't want anything and I don't talk. He started behaving well, making surprises, inviting me for coffee, taking us out. Don't get me wrong I didn't want big things, just to spend time together as a family. I have already suffered this was another time. I know that if I pay attention to him now, it will be the same again. I think I want to give myself time, I want to go to my hometown for a while in the summer. I can no longer, at least try temporarily without each other. I was already going to my town to rest from each other, because he was just angry that I was asking him if it would be earlier than 12-1 in the evening of the game, or what would happen, if he doesn't play one night ... He played all the time, I thought I was bothering him and that's why he sat down to be distracted. But when we were gone, he played again. I will be happy for opinions ... Thank you for reading my story. A mother of 25.
Answers 10
I think you're just in a hurry to tie this boy to a child. You were ready, maybe, but he's still a boy - he's interested in nonsense. Still, don't be in a hurry to leave him, because you're both young enough to change and mature, and he'll mature. Takes responsibility, taking care of the family's livelihood, has recently shown some change. Every family goes through difficult times. Look at his good side. Soon your child will be looked after and you will have more time for yourself. Also, don't expect him to think for himself. Men want to be spoken to in plain text, they are not telepaths and they do not understand non-verbal signs like women. It's just the solution - tell him what you wrote without unnecessary emotions and without blaming him. That's what it looks like your boy likes to be home, he's obviously fine with you, step on this solid foundation! Find someone to look after your child for Saturday and Sunday and take time only for your husband, give a little more of yourself in bed, he will give you back 3 times more outside. Be patient and you will be rewarded. Appreciate what you have, look around - it is full of drunks, thugs and slackers, do not throw away what you have, because you will appreciate it, but it will no longer be yours, and the father of your child is only him.
To number 1: I am what I am. we wrote we talked to him and I always tell him what I think and I always want conversations. As for the bed, I give even much more of it, even I am more active meaning, I think more often than him. Besides, I want to emphasize, I forgot to write about the child. We didn't make plans, nor did I tie him up. I just got pregnant too late .. A year before he told me that he would give anything to have a baby. However, when he was late, he told me not to think that he wanted to tie me up, he wanted a child, but if I didn't want to decide ... I was scared, but I knew that it was just my gift from life, I dreamed of a daughter. If I had to plan, I don't think I would get pregnant today ... Anyway, thanks for the comment :)
The question is different, as if I no longer want his attention, I have been praying for so many years. And quite the opposite, he was ready for a child, and I didn't ... And yet, I can't imagine life without my daughter. In fact, I realize that he has grown much more than I have. I learned a lot with the child, but I don't feel mature.
Make yourself a hero and you in the game =). I know families who played together. The game fits (it is written to you personally by a person who has given up). But it took me about 2 years and I did not give up completely (I just changed it for one that requires a lot less time). Don't limit him, it's like you light a cigarette and he grabs you and leaves her or whatever you like. And yet n1 wrote it to you: better at home than drinking somewhere.
And what is the game? !!
Yes, yes, it is never enough ... The father, who walks his child in the park, must have supported his wife and she grumbles again. She didn't want this, she didn't want that, but in fact she wanted everything, and more, if not - the next one !, but so did he.
Games are like drugs, it's very easy to get caught up and then it takes willpower to break free. I went through that too, but it was good that I realized. Until he realizes it, so will your husband. Success!
No, I don't want everything and more. I just wanted us to be happy and united, this is a real family - to have good moments.
Author your husband is an immature child, you do not have to take care of your child. He is a father after all. I understand how you feel, that it's awful to compare yourself to other people and still eat away at the pain, that he doesn't behave seriously and responsibly. Well, at least he made money, that if you hang around the house like a drone, it will be a horror. And I don't know if your approach to cleaning is very appropriate whenever you are worried and desperate. I hope he doesn't try to get you out of his life, because he will definitely miss a lot. He still misses. Now you have to play with the child, teach him, show him the right things and have fun, be happy with the little one in your home. Don't run away from home. Take care of your family and hopefully the problem in the family and more precisely in these games will not be hidden somewhere deeper. And see if this man of yours has any discovery outside the home. There may be another connection. If there is, you will most likely understand, which is still no excuse not to take care of the child, but to treat you as an object. If things don't get better, young woman, take the suitcases and the child and leave. But whatever you decide, your child is the most precious thing in this life. You have a duty, even if things don't go home, to provide a calm environment for this child.
№9, and I don't want everything and more! I just want to be king and Bill Gates at the same time. This is real life - to rule and have a lot of money. But the fact that I haven't done anything to make it matter doesn't matter? Well, "I'm trying!" (in some very inappropriate way, probably) to achieve it, but it is clearly not enough. And the fools who are asked to choose me as their king and give me Microsoft something do not give a damn! I even doubt if they know what is required and what is expected of them! They played me everywhere !!!