Help me, please! I am in a hole from which there seems to be no way out ... I have been going with my boyfriend for almost 3 years, we know each other perfectly, we love each other, we fight, we are friends ... He is everything to me! Or at least it was ... 2 years ago I met my colleagues from the university and almost immediately a boy made a very good impression on me - he was nice, sweet, funny and very smart. Maybe, fortunately, we didn't end up in the same company, so our contacts weren't that many. The other colleagues always thought the company I was running in was probably boring and too serious, but now we made a pretty good outing the whole course and in 3 days they saw us in a different light - happy, drunk and mostly relaxed. My relationship with my friend is very strong - we can't do without each other even for a day, and I spent 3 ... For us, even kissing or just hanging out with someone else is a kind of betrayal and I stick to these principles, but I feel that I have ignored them myself. I haven't slept with this boy, just as much as I'm ashamed to admit, I got very drunk, which hasn't happened to me so far. The whole company was at a high level, from the beginning of the party the dancing started. Then everything is based on my stories ... We drank, we danced, and I was trying to like him all the time and I don't know if it worked out, but at some point we were together and I told him to go and be together. we go to bed, but he is like a real gentleman - according to the narrators he told me that we will not go to bed together, but he will take me to bed ...
He really is a very nice person. He didn't say anything to me in the morning, but his eyes showed that he remembered. Fortunately, I didn't read any ridicule or mockery in them, just a reflection of the questions in my head: "Did this mean anything to him?", "Does he know I like him?", "What should I do now?" .. I guess for most of you this incident may mean nothing, but it threw me into a frenzy and panic. I love my boyfriend, but I'm crazy about this boy. I thought of apologizing to him and telling him that I was sorry I had exposed myself that way, but the opportunity, or rather the courage, never came to me. For the next few days, I kept glancing at him, but I didn't know what to think it should mean, I was just reading a study in him, as if trying to understand what I was thinking. I told my friend that nothing had happened, but then by chance, my friend called the other boy "Your X" and some questions started about what happened when I told him that nothing interesting was happening ... I pretended to be stupid and said that I didn't remember anything and I supposedly asked her what happened there ... We made up with my friend, that since I don't remember, she joked with me, when in fact he was supposed to take me down, which was the most pathetic thing in my life. We covered things up, he calmed down, but I don't stop thinking about the other one ...
I feel sorry for my boyfriend because I hate to lie to him, but I know him to perfection. Now my dilemmas are in the foreground - "To tell or not to tell my boyfriend about these feelings?", But it will ruin him, I will hurt him a lot, so I prefer to keep this secret to myself, and the other dilemma I have "Should I hope for something with the other boy or better to forget him ?!" I know the answer to both, but I prefer you to advise me too ... How would you act in my place? !!
Answers 14
It's obvious how principled you are. If you were and if you loved him, you wouldn't get drunk and fish with others. When one loves, other objects of desire do not exist. You sound like a frivolous 16-year-old. If you have at least a little conscience, get lost and leave your so-called boyfriend alone. Better alone than with a liar who knows how to manipulate to perfection.
You repeat so many times how much you love him and how much you care about him ... Do you either want to convince us or more precisely yourself? I'm sorry, but I've been in exactly the same situation. The same kind, intelligent, etc. colleague and the person I can't live without. And these same parties with colleagues. yes, I drank, I danced, I had fun, but I didn't cross the line, because I really care about my man and no matter how nice and funny he is and everything else, the colleague just doesn't interest me.
Hey, I'm most afraid of such "principled" people as you! She loved her boyfriend, so she was crazy about the other one! Are you running! Muffin !!!
I support number 1 with both hands!
From the author to № 1 Look, you don't know me, you don't know how principled I am, you just see me in one of my worst situations in my life. I love my boyfriend very much, he loves me too, and we've proven that over the years ... Yes, I'm obsessed with this boy, but that doesn't change my feelings for my boyfriend, and I really want to stop thinking about the new one. but not so easy. I see my friend in him - in their characters, in their actions there are so many things in common that just after I liked my boyfriend, there is no way that people who look so much like him are not nice to me ... I will not leave Your boyfriend is just because at some point someone else has become nice to me ... If he feels that something has changed between us, he is free to leave ... And lastly - I am not a liar, manipulating to perfection, the situation just makes me lie if I want to keep him! I will not give it up, but I am sure that sooner or later my colleague will forget it ... I did not write here to be judged, I wanted to hear opinions from people who were in a similar situation or at least advice on how to get out ... Still, thanks for the frankness! :)
If you abstain, in time you will be happy with yourself and you will not regret it! Infidelity always has a bad end - always for everyone! There are no winners! Be honest with yourself and others, keep your dignity and that of others so that you can look at yourself in the mirror. Otherwise it will not happen, from two chairs on the ground, as it happens most often.
From the Author to №6 Thank you, only your advice was really not accusatory. That's what I'm thinking of doing, but I'm thinking of keeping the facts so far a secret from him, simply because I'm going to hurt him, and in fact I've done nothing. I know that's not very right either, but I don't want him to suffer. I will forget my colleague and sooner or later everything will pass ... :)
Don't leave your boyfriend because of someone who made a good impression on you and you know him recently ... that's super dumb. Imagine that tomorrow you go with this boy, another day you meet someone who you will like more / let's say in appearance /, what will you do then? Will you leave one and go again with the other? It can't be like that ... Stay with your friend and forget about this boy. And to know that first impressions always lie. As you get to know him better, there will be things you won't like about him, but I hope it's not too late.
Thanks №8, I know that's right and that's exactly what I'm going to do - I'll forget this boy and try to be with my boyfriend as always, if not closer ... I don't want to go with the other one, I'm just attracted to him as a character, I'm not a person who looks at people's appearance - neither my boyfriend nor my colleague are on the cover of a magazine, just their smiles are priceless ... I love him and in no case will I leave him for someone else! :)
Windmill work :) If you still know how many temptations you will encounter in your life, you will just want them not to happen. Everyone has such temptations, do not think that it is only you, but from your choice it is clear to what extent you can be accurate and responsible. Nothing good will happen to your friend in the future, be sure :) Whether things will fall apart tomorrow or in a year does not matter, but it simply will not be a guarantee :)
I guess you will almost immediately understand who is writing .... I am very glad that things are getting better little by little. You forget the boy "x" and continue with the boy "X" (your only prince in black sneakers). I hope you finally find the right path to everything and be very happy, because only then I will be .... :) :) :) :) I love you very much: *: *: *: *: *: *: *: *: *: *: *: *: *: *: *: *
№11 you are a freak! : D This is not Facebook or another social network! : D To the others - this is a crazy man who made those days with an idea easier to overcome and was always by my side. Things calm down, time passes, and so does my interest in this boy. I try to appreciate my relationship as much as possible, despite my difficult character ... Thank you for the advice and reproaches - and they are useful sometimes. And by 11 - Thank you very much for all the support! :) I love you too, darling! : *
Tell him he will decide which is best. It sucks to find out years later ... P.S. Put yourself in his place.
If you really love the boy you're with, I'm sorry, but you wouldn't like anyone else, so my advice is to tell your man how you feel, not to lie to him, because EVERYTHING COMES BACK. Don't lie to him, be honest, and he will survive it - don't be afraid.