Hello, I was hesitant for a long time to share my AD with you, but in the end I decided to do it. We have been a family for 15 years - Sometimes we have problems, but we solve them and everything was normal. But, until the moment when my husband brought his father to live in our house / for which his family did NOT give a penny /. I accepted my husband's father as a person and normally. But ...… .. I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT HELL AWAITS ME !!! And it turned out that when you are good to someone / as I am to my husband's father / you "get on your head" !!! It turned out that instead of his father to comply with us and our rules in our house, we comply with him !!! At first I didn't pay attention and I wasn't impressed, but now - 1 year later I CAN'T SUPPORT !!! My husband is constantly defending his father and whatever he does, it's still OK. even the child, because of his father. When he tells him to do something, my husband does it right away, and I have to repeat it several times until he's done.
Yesterday I came back from a business trip, my husband is waiting for me at the station, we took the child from school and he told me that we would go home and we would be together and discuss our things !!! But --- guess what happened !!! We went home, he was watching the news, and I had to help the child do his homework. While I was with the child, my husband managed to talk to his father and he came to us after a while and started looking for something. I ask him what's going on, and my husband replies that he needs to find a clipper to cut his father's hair. Whereupon, I was speechless !!! And I tell him that it's already late / it was 8:30 pm / and this may make him angry the next day / his father doesn't leave the house /, but ... my husband started screaming and said, I want to go to him after I want him do now I will do it !!! Then he watches more TV and at 10 pm he cuts his father's hair !!! Just this man - HIS FATHER is SUPER SELFISH and INNOCENT !!! To make your son cut your hair in the evening, after his son worked 13 hours, ... I'M LEFT WITHOUT A COMMENT !!! I never imagined that a father could harass his son and make him his SERVANT !!! JUST - FATHER - MANIPULATOR !!! I even think about getting out of the house and going to the apartment with the child to get rid of this AD !!! Please advice !!! Thank you in advance. so to harass his son and make him be his SERVANT !!! JUST - FATHER - MANIPULATOR !!! I even think about getting out of the house and going to the apartment with the child to get rid of this AD !!! Please advice !!! Thank you in advance. so to harass his son and make him be his SERVANT !!! JUST - FATHER - MANIPULATOR !!! I even think about getting out of the house and going to the apartment with the child to get rid of this AD !!! Please advice !!! Thank you in advance.
Answers 10
Take this man of yours to the quarters, as soon as he defends his father, let them look at each other. Before that, dig through his things and ask him if there is another woman in his life. Maybe the father is setting his son against you, you're obviously tired of him
I don't know about the father, but your husband turned out to be another mollusk who wants his son to be a servant. Do you realize that you are harassing and you both shout that you have been together for 15 years - this means that the child must be 13-14 years old. about Who lives in the house, him or your husband? You didn't write and how old are you?
From the rather long story and as a woman, I saw no guilt, neither in my father-in-law, nor in your husband, ma'am. What if they get a haircut at 10 pm, if the state also has a haircut at 3 in the morning, don't you care to get a haircut for someone ?? I understand that your anger comes from the fact that when you ask your husband to do something for you, he does not agree immediately, but you think that when your father-in-law asks you for something, your husband agrees more easily. However, this leads to the conclusion that you do not know how to ask, you do not find the right words and arguments, and neither your father-in-law nor your husband are to blame for this situation. In 15 years you should know your husband well and have found a way to get him to help you. You got along after you came home to be together and discuss your things, but when you got home you, madam, found a job with the child's homework, what can your husband do but sit in front of the tv. His father noticed that you were busy and his son was watching TV, he went and said in the right words during the commercials that he wanted a haircut, which is not normal.
From what you write, it turns out that your husband insists on cutting his hair right now, not his father. That your husband chooses who to listen to, not that his father put the knife to him. It's as if you have some problems in the couple, which you are now conveniently trying to pass on to a third person. Your husband first watched TV and then cut his father's hair. It is hardly a big dream for this elderly sick man to have his hair cut at night. I don't think he's your problem. If it comes out, you will fight for something else, but it will still be the same.
Take them to a dormitory - obviously they don't appreciate you where you are taken for granted. The situation is absolutely unacceptable, as is the way your husband ignores you and leaves his father in command at home. Even in your place, I would leave the child for a week or two for his father to look after him, so that he would at least remember that he himself is a father and has the corresponding responsibilities. PP Only I do not see any logic and meaning in what is written in comment number 2?
It's like they're making you do his father a favor !? 20 hours was too late for a haircut !? I don't know if the husband is selfish, but the author is just petty. If the father says good day to her, she will tease again! Her pain is that her parents did not give a penny, but use their home !? If he doesn't go out, probably the father is sick, is this a human attitude towards a sick person?
Number 6, the problem is that the husband's father takes away from THEIR PERSONAL TIME that the two / three can spend with their child and creates preconditions for conflict between them - as you are so broad-minded, let someone use your home for an indefinite period of time and turn your whole way of life upside down, let's see if you don't start to get annoyed too. The author's husband, instead of looking after his wife and child, walks on his father's ass. Older people can be extremely obsessive and selfish in this regard. It is normal for the author to get annoyed when a person who has not helped them in any way suddenly hangs on their support and not only does not comply with them, but also makes them crazy frogs and they have to comply with him. The order of the way is to turn their daily lives upside down, for example, the appearance of a child,
I understand why you were wondering whether to share - comments 2, 3, 4, 6 and they do not know why they write in this topic. Your husband's problem is that he clearly feels guilty and indebted to his father. He must have been brought up to "love and respect his parents" - understand I created you, I raised you, I deprived myself, and now you have to look at me in my old age. This is the simplest and ugliest manipulation, and it has nothing to do with our love for our parents or their love for us. Unconditional love is not a bargaining chip. They watched us, we watch our children - otherwise the circle closes. We must help our elderly parents as much as we can, WITHOUT depriving ourselves. First, it is not OK for the grandfather to live with you - you are a family, you need personal space, an established way of life and order in your home. Often children are the biggest victims and complain the most about such a situation. Second, the partner, the child and then the parents. It is not right to neglect your wife for the sake of your father or your child. Your husband is emotionally dependent and acts infantile - constantly defending, listening and performing, neglecting himself only "Daddy is fine". There is a lot of literature on the subject - emotional dependence, boundaries, your weaknesses. You can read to find out where the problem comes from and that you are absolutely right. For me you have two options. You get up and leave. If he asks you to return - on one condition only - his father should go to his house and no longer live with you. If you're not ready for this - try to set boundaries - talk to your husband, explain to him how you feel, how you want things to be and find out - evening is the time for both of you, his father is not the owner of the house, he will comply and will live by your rules and your schedule. If he doesn't like it, leave. He obviously thinks you owe him, but he thinks so because your husband lets him. If he twists his hair and the old man feels that you will drive him away, he will become lower than the grass and will not call for anything. Good luck, and write us what happened. Safe from molds that they can't say no to mom and dad! I don't even understand why you put it away. it will become lower than the grass and will not call for anything. Good luck, and write us what happened. Safe from molds that they can't say no to mom and dad! I don't even understand why you put it away. he will be lower than the grass and will not call for anything. Good luck, and write us what happened. Safe from molds that they can't say no to mom and dad! I don't even understand why you put it away.
Hello author! I endured such a situation for 10 years, but with my mother-in-law. It's awful, even this word is not enough to describe the situation .... Your husband feels a duty - that's it. Mine had left his child last, because of his mother ... I can write a lot on the subject, but it makes no sense. I don't want to be extreme, but do you know when you're going to rest? Therefore, let all parents not forget that we were young and how we suffered because of mentally ill parents. Educate your children to be with their children and halves!
What a drama for a haircut! But that's not the problem, is it! I'm sure the father didn't want his son to cut his hair at 10 pm, your husband decided. But you, the author, do not seem to allow your husband to make independent decisions, but you are used to managing his time, and that is why he rebels. The father begs his son for something, and he finishes it immediately, and you command him, and there is internal resistance in him, which is quite normal. I advise you to change the tone and give each other freedom of decisions and actions, especially when it comes to such trifles. Another question is why you agreed to accept your father, if he can take care of himself. This is not clear from the story, so give more information.