Hello, I am 23 years old. Today I accidentally read a message to my partner from September 2018, in which a girl wrote to him that she expected to return some 300 euros, which she gave him 8 years ago. And to put it bluntly - I recently invested another BGN 500 in something he deals with and many people write about parts and among these messages there was an old one. Of course, I was amazed, and not so much, because that's how our relationship started 2 years ago. - I lent him BGN 500, which he did not repay. Then we lived together and recently got engaged and that's how it stayed. In time I realized that before we got together he played a lot of mosquitoes ... He promised me that he would stop and I think he stopped. He started to pay the installments on all 5-6 loans, half of BGN 1,200 go for installments, some of them only pay the interest, others are left to live with them. I take more money, but we put everything in common for us, which is also offensive to me, because his mistakes are his. He is from a small town, I came from a very big town to be with him, I have a higher education. It's just that this message reminds me that he is doing quite incorrectly, and I obviously have no idea how many times he has borrowed money like that .... We just got engaged, and I'm restless, first that in the next 2-3 years he will pay loans and will have to I endure both, instead of sending money for myself, for example, when I'm young, because everything happens. And secondly - we live in a smelly old apartment, which obviously I have to repair, just .... A good person seems not aggressive, he treats me well, but can a good person attract people like that Do I have the right to ask for my money, in the end I gave it before we were together because he had lost his salary, and he drove the moon with mine .... It seems unfair to me. And somehow I don't want to start a family with this person before he gets out of debt, why should I. I pay for other people's sins ... I also have a family ... What do you think, am I selfish ??? I did not mention that he is 31 years old. I was upset about this girl, I think they were some friends ... So she lost touch with her best friend - she owes him about 1500 BGN ... I recently raised this topic - when will it be repaid to him ... He would finally ... So to wait for the boy for years to come .... He is sleeping now, and I took off my ring. I'm thinking of giving him an ultimatum that if he doesn't take matters into his own hands to correct things a little, he won't think we're going to start a family. With each such situation, it seems even more frivolous. And somehow I don't want to start a family with this person before he gets out of debt, why should I. I pay for other people's sins ... I also have a family ... What do you think, am I selfish ??? I did not mention that he is 31 years old. I was upset about this girl, I think they were some friends ... So she lost touch with her best friend - she owes him about 1500 BGN ... I recently raised this topic - when will it be repaid to him ... He would finally ... So to wait for the boy for years to come .... He is sleeping now, and I took off my ring. I'm thinking of giving him an ultimatum that if he doesn't take matters into his own hands to correct things a little, he won't think we're going to start a family. With each such situation, it seems even more frivolous. And somehow I don't want to start a family with this person before he gets out of debt, why should I. I pay for other people's sins ... I also have a family ... What do you think, am I selfish ??? I did not mention that he is 31 years old. I was upset about this girl, I think they were some friends ... So she lost touch with her best friend - she owes him about 1500 BGN ... I recently raised this topic - when will it be repaid to him ... He would in the end ... So to wait for the boy for years to come .... He is sleeping now, and I took off my ring. I'm thinking of giving him an ultimatum that if he doesn't take it upon himself to correct things a little, he won't think we're going to start a family. With each such situation, it seems even more frivolous. Am I acting selfishly ??? I did not mention that he is 31 years old. I was upset about this girl, I think they were some friends ... So she lost touch with her best friend - she owes him about 1500 BGN ... I recently raised this topic - when will it be repaid to him ... He would finally ... So to wait for the boy for years to come .... He is sleeping now, and I took off my ring. I'm thinking of giving him an ultimatum that if he doesn't take matters into his own hands to correct things a little, he won't think we're going to start a family. With each such situation, it seems even more frivolous. Am I acting selfishly ??? I did not mention that he is 31 years old. I was upset about this girl, I think they were some friends ... So she lost touch with her best friend - she owes him about 1500 BGN ... I recently raised this topic - when will it be repaid to him ... He would in the end ... So to wait for the boy for years to come .... He is sleeping now, and I took off my ring. I'm thinking of giving him an ultimatum that if he doesn't take matters into his own hands to correct things a little, he won't think we're going to start a family. With each such situation, it seems even more frivolous. and I took off my ring. I'm thinking of giving him an ultimatum that if he doesn't take matters into his own hands to correct things a little, he won't think we're going to start a family. With each such situation, it seems even more frivolous. and I took off my ring. I'm thinking of giving him an ultimatum that if he doesn't take it upon himself to correct things a little, he won't think we're going to start a family. With each such situation, it seems even more frivolous.
Answers 24
These things should tell you enough about this person, he is not correct. How come he didn't return 1500 to his friend, he dragged that girl? I don't have your salaries and I live according to my rug (I'm a woman). I have acquaintances who have asked me for loans and live more widely than I do. They did not return them. Your friend obviously doesn't realize that for him, 500 and 1500 may be his money to spend, and these people need tomorrow for some operation or something urgent. You are obviously a good person. Why don't you experiment with your fiancé. I almost know what will happen, but still. Say you really need the 500 you gave back in time. If he starts arguing, he doesn't want you to give them away - it's not a commodity. 100 out of 100 will do that.
Let the misogynists see that more than 70% of women are not gold diggers. I understand perfectly how you feel. I'm in a similar situation, with the difference that I'm almost 30. Leave him without having to put up with him and help him clear his debts. You are still young, at the age of 23 you have time to meet a valuable man who does his homework and does not rely on his wife. We women are really stupid really.
2, we are very much so. Men still "don't have", but in fact they hide everything and give it to mom and dad. And for a woman, for a child - dogs ate them. You're right.
I came to the word mosquito and did not read further. Get away from this, there is no salvation from gambling addiction. I tell you from personal experience, I had such a relative.
It's normal not to like that your friend owes you money and keeps quiet about certain things. There are no former gamblers. It is only a matter of time before it begins to sink again. You are not married and that is good. You have time to pack your bags and look for someone else. It's even better to live alone than with a gambler. The choice and the decision are yours.
This is a tragic case, and I was a gambler, I met my wife and everything changed. In the beginning I went to the casino with her, I took money from her, I took from friends, I also took from moneylenders, but I can't sleep with the thought that I owe money. I have not taken loans from banks and I will never take them. At the moment I am enjoying a wonderful family, we have a stable business and income, we can afford everything, and I don't owe anyone anything. For 5 years I have been to the casino twice, and with friends for fun, I said to myself, come on, BGN 200 will be my limit, I go in and have fun. So, talk to him seriously, help him, tell him to make a list of the money he owes people, call them and apologize if he has to look for a second job. If within two months you see that he has a desire, help him too, fix all the buckets faster and live your life. Everyone makes mistakes, a mosquito is something that is difficult to get out of, something like a disease. Give him a chance!
The author: The girl in question had also written to him something like that she was already a mother and would not be afraid of a hooligan like him and threatened to write to me to find out what kind of person I was dealing with. Look, the boy behaves well with me, he is very attentive to his family, his little nephews, he is very smiling and he always gives in to me for anything I catch. But this message shocked me. I know he owes or has owed a lot of people money for this Gambling. I know 100% that he doesn't play, his pay slip shows him, we all pay together, and his family and my neighbors also tell me that he has changed a lot since we have been together and has become a serious man. They don't know about gambling before. But now for the holidays, for example, I bought presents for my family, and for his family, when we got together, because he didn't have any left, because he only works in mid-December, and his boss let him go unpaid for 14 days. And pay only the loans. We bought an air conditioner for the apartment separately, we had a blower, a coffee machine ... My savings evaporated ... About BGN 3-4 thousand left for a month. Now I'm starting to save again, but I don't want to spend a penny more here. It's not just my fault that he lost thousands at the casinos, even a year ago various idiot collectors came to us looking for him ... And he started importing everything, but in the end he has nothing normal left. Now he will work for the banks for years ... It's not just my fault that he lost thousands at the casinos, even a year ago various idiot collectors came to us looking for him ... And he started importing everything, but in the end he has nothing normal left. Now he will work for the banks for years ... It's not just my fault that he lost thousands at the casinos, even a year ago various idiot collectors came to us looking for him ... And he started importing everything, but in the end he has nothing normal left. Now he will work for the banks for years ...
I don't want to scare you but run away from such people, because you don't know how far it can go. This person definitely doesn't know the money and it's no wonder he turns you around with some big money as long as he touches your ID card;) I'm 25 years old a boy from a big city and I've seen a lot of ugly stories with this money
This gram is not a commodity, darling. I'm telling you, you'll be very sorry if you marry him. They are waiting for repairs, shopping, maintenance of the apartment, bills and what not, and a child, if he appears, I do not think. With the BGN 600 he has left after the loans, he is for nowhere, he will only wait for you. This is not a reliable partner, a former gambler indebted to anyone. Run away.
Why return them? She had a lot of money and gave them.
At least you see what it is real and what your life will be like in the future. It will not change. It will attract you too.
Author, I am a man and I understand you. But I think it's good to judge people by what they are now, not what they were. Personally, I was in a predicament, then I realized, I corrected my mistakes and now I'm pretty good financially. You say he pays his loans, he has a plan, which is good. But one must take responsibility for one's actions. I think talk to him and insist that your money is not shared. You can make some general budget for rent, bills, food. But from then on, everyone has their money. He and his people pay for their debts. You decide what to do - you can invest in trainings and courses, in clothes and make-up or invest in assets. By repaying his loans, you are doing him a disservice. You teach him that he can walk a meter, but he doesn't. One sooner or later pays. And he better learn his lesson, to make up and then come up. You can love him, support him morally, but not walk his path.
My advice is to run away. Because I suffered. Before I met my husband, I didn't know what credit was. But after we lived together, it turned out that he and his mother were paying off some terrible loans, and they both had several. They lured me and I took out loans to repay Theirs. My father had set aside BGN 20,000 in a bank so that I could have something simple, education so that something would not be necessary, but a person gets sick, such things happen, and he squandered that money. I don't have a penny. I am still with him, but I am deeply sorry because I have been working as a calf for 3 years to repay their loans, and I have 4 more years to repay. Sometimes I don't even have money to charge my car, but a car ...... With this money we can ensure a very good life, unlike the one I have.
Your beloved What does not get to the 2nd job? Is he a student? If I am, I will not give up, if it is for something serious, God forbid it will be an accident, I will endure me and my husband, but he has turned to his ears and I will pay for his borchos. He is not a cripple, he will find a second job in order to be a full member of the family. Talk to him, because an owl had written to me to tell me what kind of man I had caught up with and had one thing in mind. There, the scheme was different, as if he had abandoned his ex in order to get out of the payment. However, he does not know that mine told me and I witnessed the lies of his ex. So obviously you have something to talk about, set clear boundaries and rules and not mine is mine, yours is ours. And how did you know you were the first to meet your family, he told you?
This is how the gold diggers look in each topic. Those who advise the girl to run are exactly like that. I wonder if the same financial flows that are talked about here flowed in the opposite direction - to them if they would give the same advice. a man will love him with ten credits, right?
That's because of cases like 13, a man without money, no. A man, if he can't make money and distribute his budget properly, can only be a burden.
13, told these people that you would not pay their loans. From where to where will you pay them? This is one of the main reasons I don't want to get married. If you are married, his loans automatically become yours. Cheer up with this man. You are well aware that they have taken you for an appetizer - you will pay their loans for another 4 years. 12, we are human and everyone is wrong. One of the arguments that proves that the author's fiancé has no male honor is that he took additional loans after that. He is obliged by law to pay contributions to the banks, and he has not thought about the people he has dragged. So if he took out a loan and really wanted to make amends, the first thing was to give back to his friend 1,500 and 500 to that babe who already has a child. So, obviously think only of yourself.
№ 7 - He will work for the banks, and you will support him because he was good and smiling. With that smile, he got money out of that girl and who knows how many more people. I would not associate my life with a gambler, nor with a drug addict or an alcoholic, because there is no guarantee that it will not start again.
15, get a wife with 10 credits. Love, love, but that speaks of a frivolous and insecure person. How can he be your support, start a family with him and raise your child? He did not fix himself, let alone a woman with a child. It will only drag her to the bottom. Loving someone does not mean that you are blind to everything else and must be blind. That's why you think about what kind of person you're dating.
15 - What kind of love does a man who takes money from women and does not return it to them deserve? As well as from people he pretended to be a friend of? He seems to be the gold digger.
15, how do you think an irresponsible person who takes loans, does not repay them and attracts people is loved? Would you love such a woman if you weren't a gold digger?
No one has noticed the beautiful element in the story - and that is that women also give money, not just take. As recently mentioned, not all women are gold diggers, which is an encouraging sign.
Run with 300 of this man - once with a gambling problem, there is no fix. I also had a great love affair with such a man. In the beginning, everything was perfect, flowers and roses, until he started playing typewriters. It was an old passion I didn't know about. After work instead of going home - immediately to the casino and so on until he loses all the money. He spent more money than he earned, borrowed from friends and did not return them, I supported him entirely by paying bills, rents, food, etc. I had given him an ultimatum to stop the casinos and start paying more attention to me. me. Well, I gave him time, he stopped for a while, but I began to notice that I was missing money from my wallet - generally 10-20 euros, but they were still missing. I sensed him, he was going to start stealing from me and I only left my credit card in my wallet - well, that she didn't know my pin, that she would probably download it all. I would joke with him and finish with him. There is no former gambler, as well as a former drug addict and a former police officer. Run with 300 while you still can!
22, this is a pathetic, not a beautiful element. And quite common in Bulgaria. Men benefit from their wives, including financially.