Hello dear people. For as long as I can remember, there is something that bothers me, something that ruined my psyche, but I never found the courage to share what I experienced. Even now, it's hard for me to tell, even though I know it's anonymous. I am 30 years old from a small town. I had an unbearable childhood and not just a childhood but twenty years of my life. There was only one person in my family who truly loved me, and that was my grandmother and no one else. I will say it directly, no matter how difficult it is for me. My father is the man who ruined my life. For as long as I can remember, he raped me. My first memory of this is when I was very young 2-3 years old. Then my grandmother suspected something and told my mother, but she not only did not believe her but even tried to beat her. The years passed and I lived in this nightmare, no one suspected anything anymore and I thought that what he was doing to me was normal.
One day my mother almost catches him doing what he is doing to me, slaps him and starts questioning me when I tell her everything, trembling like a sheet thinking that the nightmare is over she called him and asked if it was true that he was joking with me he denied and said he was lying. That my mother got up took a cable and started beating me so hard I cried I begged her to stop telling me that everything I told her was true but she kept repeating once again to say something like that I will kill you. And he laughed and said if your mother heard what he told you. And so my nightmare continued, there was no one to tell. At the age of 18, I literally ran away at the first convenient moment, I started working, I took a place to stay, I thought I was free, but it didn't get worse, he came to my apartment and did it more and more often. I tried to commit suicide but I was not saved and I was saved in the hospital. Finally, at the age of 20, I left for Spain, my cousin helped me. And I was finally saved. Years passed before I returned when I returned, he did not touch me again. He was trying to act like a father. I don't know how and where I found strength, but I forgave him. The problem is that I have to return to Bulgaria for good. I want to start a family and here is my fear that if one day it attacks my child, I will kill him, I will really kill him. I don't understand why this man ruined my life, what kind of parent he is. Please publish my story. Thanks in advance.
Answers 21
It shook me. Yes, I've heard of such stories, but my head doesn't fit. I give you support. One tip - away from these people! Even if it does not affect your child, your mother and father, ie your biological creators are not people that your child should have contact with when building. And if he reaches out? Do you want to experience the same? You will bear the blame! If you can, stay in Spain. If not - as far away from them as possible. And in another distant city! But it's best to live abroad. F 28, mother!
If this story is true, why haven't you tried to put him in jail so far? Even as a child, you could talk to a teacher, a principal, anyone who could help you, go and complain, they would put you in an institution and look at you there.
If this story is true, why haven't you tried to put him in jail so far? Even as a child, you could talk to a teacher, a principal, anyone who could help you, go and complain, they would put you in an institution and look at you there.
From the author. Unfortunately, my story is true. I didn't tell anyone about my experience, I was very scared because when I told my mother she beat me, I thought that if I told someone else it would be the same. I thought I was to blame for what was happening to me. I would like to know why he did it, what kind of parent he is, why he ruined my life, but I do not have the courage to ask him these questions. I turned 30 and I still feel fear and misunderstanding, maybe until I get answers to all the questions I will not be able to overcome what I have done. Please give me advice on how to overcome this nightmare.
From the author. Unfortunately, my story is true. I didn't tell anyone about my experience, I was very scared because when I told my mother she beat me, I thought that if I told someone else it would be the same. I thought I was to blame for what was happening to me. I would like to know why he did it, what kind of parent he is, why he ruined my life, but I do not have the courage to ask him these questions. I turned 30 and I still feel fear and misunderstanding, maybe until I get answers to all the questions I will not be able to overcome what I have done. Please give me advice on how to overcome this nightmare.
It's just that it doesn't exist. why keep in touch with your "parents", and it is obligatory to throw them out of life forever !!! No contact, no contact with them! It is good that you have forgiven for your own sake, so that you do not carry this poison in you, but far from them already! Create a new environment, among new positive, smiling people. You will have a family, children ... they must not even know them, for some reason do not allow contact with them. You would always live in fear of your child being harmed. This will eat you from the inside, it will torment you every second his eyes turn to the child, you will always be afraid if he doesn't want to ... You deserve a calm and happy life. And this can only happen if they are not present in it! Think only of yourself and your future! They don't interest you anymore, they have no place in your life and point! And why don't you stay in Spain, don't you like it? Where are you right here (me too)? Why do you have to return to Bulgaria?
This story is true because that's how all such stories sound. This has left a very strong imprint on you and the worst thing is that you will never forget it. Be careful only in women - women with similar experiences tend to find husbands similar to your father. Genetics speaks for itself, and long-term violence leads to the need for violence. Be very careful where and with whom you step. Success!
and I'm shocked! I have read about such people, but never first hand. I don't know why you want to return to Bulgaria, but if you do, cut off all contact with your parents. they don't need to know where you are, who you are with and any details of your life. seek a psychologist if necessary and move on. F44
Honey, it's not worth asking him these questions. You are unlikely to get meaningful answers, if they answer anything at all. In this case, it is absolutely imperative that you never keep in touch with them again, for the safety of your future child, and yourself. If you want, go back to Bulgaria, ok, but can't you live in another city that is not your hometown? You will not find a minute of rest there. These people don't deserve you to communicate with them, they don't deserve to know your new family, let alone your child. It is best to end all relationships with them, as if you have never been a child and parents (and you have not been, in the true sense of the word). The more you communicate with them, the worse it will get. The old wounds will open. Although they are not healed, and they never heal, you have to try to start a family, to behave, you also sweat to be a parent as an example to your children. Never allow your children to experience a hundredth of what you have experienced. It's a nightmare, but you have to move on without them in your life. You were in Spain without them, so you can. Why do you have to renew contact with them in Bulgaria? Accept that they died for you, non-existent. It will be difficult, very difficult, but you have to move forward, for your own sake. Everyone deserves a dignified life to satisfy them. If, before, it was not up to you, and you lived in a nightmare, now everything is in your hands. You just have to have hope, overcome yourself, and open your heart to a man (if you haven't already). But, be really careful not to come across someone like that, then there really is no salvation. You can start reading books about positive thinking. They will change your life, and it is best to see a therapist. Such traumas are not forgotten, they are not completely overcome. You need help to keep going, and it's not a shame to ask for it. And in conclusion, I just want to say, you have my full support. If you ever need to talk to someone, I'm here for you. Write me. You have to believe in yourself, and realize that once you get here, you have experienced all this, you are strong! You have the capacity to deal with many life difficulties, you just have to trust yourself! Depravity You have to believe in yourself, and realize that once you get here, you have experienced all this, you are strong! You have the capacity to deal with many life difficulties, you just have to trust yourself! Depravity You have to believe in yourself, and realize that once you get here, you have experienced all this, you are strong! You have the capacity to deal with many life difficulties, you just have to trust yourself! Depravity
I'm shocked. What happened to you is cruel. No one has the right to hurt another human being, let alone a child. No one has the right to take advantage of your weakness and the fact that you were a helpless child. I'm sorry to tell you this, but the two of you who are on your mother's and father's registers aren't really like you at all. My advice is to end any relationship with them. Success!
This person should get what he deserves, and so should your mother. It is good to talk to her and tell her, as well as try to condemn him, because as he has encroached on you, so he can encroach on another. This proves difficult, but not impossible. And I didn't understand how you were at the apartment and he came again, you moved out because of that, why didn't you call the police then. Be strong and brave, I wonder how you still maintain some contact with these people.
I am terribly sorry that such a thing happened to you! I just shudder to think that there are people in this world who make children to make fun of them. I think your father is sick. A mentally healthy and stable person who is sane would not harm any child, at least not his own. It must be some form of pedophilia, I can not express a competent opinion from a medical point of view, but I can tell you that it will not change or be corrected until you seek help from a specialist .. and even then there is no guarantee . As far as I understand from the beating, your mother is not very stable, nor does she even come close in any way to the word "mother". Do not be deceived by any excuses and requests and in no case do not allow your child to one day approach these people! This, just because they created you purely organically doesn't mean they have to be a part of your life. I doubt they will respond well if you make them go to therapy, at most to turn against you. As painful as it sounds, this is a lost cause. Think about yourself, about your future, about the family you want to have. You have a chance to start fresh, without risking re-engaging yourself and other people in a similar situation, which can be much more serious than the previous one. Even if you want to stay in Bulgaria, you can be in another city, far from them, so that they do not know where you are! You can always tell them that you have decided to stay in Spain, they cannot follow you. And to all your friends, you can tell the truth, at least in part - that you are not on good terms and do not want to see them. I think if you think about it, you'll realize that this is the right decision. If you want to have the opportunity for a normal and peaceful life in which to enjoy a loved one and be a parent, I see no other way. You deserve to be happy, without being afraid for yourself or for the people around you, to live fully! From the bottom of my heart I wish you to find this peace and this happiness and to feel good and in place, here or anywhere.
Number 3 are you serious about this question? Why a girl abused as a child, to whom even the closest person - the mother, not only did not believe when she shared, but accused and beat him, did not try to condemn her father ??? Do you even realize what a paralyzing fear and mental mutilation it is in cases of systemic harassment? To call the police against your father, you say - and explain what - to say out loud for the first time in front of a stranger all this crap? And how will he prove it? How will she be sure it won't get worse? That they would understand and support her, and not look at her as a freak and accuse her of being guilty? Do you have any idea what kind of trauma we are talking about and to what extent it destroys the psyche of the victims? Not to mention the family's silence, aggression in case it raises the issue and pretense, that everything is normal. She does not have the courage to even categorically exclude these people from her life, nor to share them with other relatives or acquaintances. She is ashamed - although it is not her fault and she is afraid that everyone will isolate and attack her. And rightly so, because this is really happening to victims of violence - read such stories - the public making of such an accusation is always associated with attacks on the victim, relatives and acquaintances turn immediately against her, insisting to withdraw the accusations in order to does not expose the genus, is threatened. This can only give a person the courage to take it if he feels secure and has the support and people he can count on behind him. That is why so many victims gather the courage to share and tell stories in their old age. The perpetrators, when it comes to parents, would rather lose part of their body, than to admit such guilt. Author, end the relationship and run away. These are not your parents. Your mother's reaction is also unforgivable. You don't owe anyone an explanation - disappear for them. As long as you keep in touch with them, the memories will always come back and the wounds will open. Gather strength and put an end to this. These people do not deserve to have a daughter. And you deserve to be happy ... away from them.
I want to thank you for your support. Since I shared my story, I feel better and calmer. Thank you, we don't know each other, but you gave me the strength to move on. The author
Yes darling, go forward, not back! Do not allow these people (I could not call them parents) to yourself anymore. Be happy!
Courage author, dare and look ahead, you have weighed a lot, but the past is behind you and now you have your family. Your biological father is a freak and a wicked man and your biological mother is an accomplice, leave them behind. It is good that you have forgiven, forgiveness is one of the very important things in Christianity. John
Hello, first of all, congratulations on your courage to tell this. I consider this a huge step for yourself. I rarely comment, but I will allow myself to say what I think. You deserve real admiration for the courage and strength to share. On this site I met advice to read the book "Poisonous Parents" (for far smaller conflicts) and I will recommend it to you. There you will realize that you are not the only one; that guilt, sleepless nights, shame, fear are constant companions after such experiences. Read it, you will not go wrong. Even if it doesn't help, it won't hurt. I also think you need to break away. Please, if you have the opportunity to visit a therapist. Not even if you have the opportunity. For you, this is equivalent to life and death. The price is priceless in your case. You will be able to sleep peacefully, you will be able to breathe, to live. You will stabilize mentally. I do not think, that forgiveness in such a situation is good. Yes, in principle, it gives peace. But here we are talking about a crime against a minor. We are not talking here about imaginary, but about an act for which the Criminal Code provides for the most severe punishment. Worse, even than murder. The father had softened. No. His father is afraid of justice and of God. This is not a father, but a monster. And this is not just an epithet, but a fact. The mother is not a mother, but an accomplice plus a abuser. Also a fact. Defendant elements. Not even people. For you - beware of the model. I'm pretty sure you'll copy it on your first try. I really want you to be one of that small percentage who manage to oppose the children's model. Hope gives me your strength to try and break free. Don't go back. NEVER. PLEASE. I cried a lot. For you. I'm really squeezing your thumbs. I believe you will succeed. Good luck.
Now I also remembered that if you are legally in Spain, you can turn to an NGO or social service to treat post-traumatic stress victims of domestic violence. I am sure that they have programs for working with people who have suffered from such atrocities. It's not too late, it's important that you take the first step.
Reading the stories written so far, none shocked me like this. A young woman who experienced terrible horror in life I read "" 19 "" comments so (much) about such a story. And I wondered why so many (many) people came to the girl's aid, and I realized she had written a real Taboo topic. We don't talk about it, we don't listen, we avoid these topics, we close our eyes, but we are able to write advice on a topic "he cheated on me, does he love me, how can I surprise him" and the like. Now I understand why this girl did not tell anyone about the horror she experienced. We are people with hearts ready to help with advice and support. Sorry girl life and people are like that :(
Stay away from these monsters! Do not regret that you have found the strength to forgive them - God will punish them. Create a family with a good and caring person who does not remind you of "your father". Good luck darling! YOU WILL DO IT! M26
Yes, there are such fathers. My father ruined my life with mental harassment. I ran away at the first opportunity and never came home again. Terrible fears, uncertainty and confusion in human relationships remain (at least for me). I have been abroad for several years, he has long since died, and I still bear the consequences of my childhood. And my sister got sick and I have to take care of her, she also suffered from our father, but while I resisted, she accepted his temper and ruined herself. Anyway. No Bulgaria !!!! Stay where you are. No governmental and non-governmental organizations to help, because you enter registers that you are unstable. One day you will have a child, the children of unstable people and without a serious environment are increasingly being taken away in Europe. There are wonderful Bulgarian psychologists who give consultations online. If you work abroad, it will be easy for you to pay. It makes sense. In addition, I recommend the method of "Family Constellations", which strengthened me. It works flawlessly. It is very common in Spain. I wish you strength and luck! No intimacy with bullies !!! Never, on any occasion, under any suck, be it parents !!! The abuser never changes. Find a friend, mentally separate even from your parents ... There is evil on this earth. We (and many others) have become and every day someone becomes an object of violence, and from bad to worse. Mialoto behind the back. We have legs, arms, a preserved mind, albeit a fragmented soul. Sew it, scars don't matter. Its strength is important. Good luck! And God be with you in the endeavor to remove all the abomination that has been poured into your soul, to throw it away like a garbage bag and to fill it with carefully selected good things !!!! It makes sense. In addition, I recommend the method of "Family Constellations", which strengthened me. It works flawlessly. It is very common in Spain. I wish you strength and luck! No intimacy with bullies !!! Never, on any occasion, under any suck, be it parents !!! The abuser never changes. Find a friend, mentally separate even from your parents ... There is evil on this earth. We (and many others) have become and every day someone becomes an object of violence, and from bad to worse. Mialoto behind the back. We have legs, arms, a preserved mind, albeit a fragmented soul. Sew it, scars don't matter. Its strength is important. Good luck! And God be with you in the endeavor to remove all the abomination that has been poured into your soul, to throw it away like a garbage bag and to fill it with carefully selected good things !!!! It makes sense. In addition, I recommend the method of "Family Constellations", which strengthened me. It works flawlessly. It is very common in Spain. I wish you strength and luck! No intimacy with bullies !!! Never, on any occasion, under any suck, be it parents !!! The abuser never changes. Find a friend, mentally separate even from your parents ... There is evil on this earth. We (and many others) have become and every day someone becomes an object of violence, and from bad to worse. Mialoto behind the back. We have legs, arms, a preserved mind, albeit a fragmented soul. Sew it, scars don't matter. Its strength is important. Good luck! And God be with you in the endeavor to remove all the abomination that has been poured into your soul, to throw it away like a garbage bag and to fill it with carefully selected good things !!!! No intimacy with bullies !!! Never, on any occasion, under any suck, be it parents !!! The abuser never changes. Find a friend, mentally separate even from your parents ... There is evil on this earth. We (and many others) have become and every day someone becomes an object of violence, and from bad to worse. Mialoto behind the back. We have legs, arms, a preserved mind, albeit a fragmented soul. Sew it, scars don't matter. Its strength is important. Good luck! And God be with you in the endeavor to remove all the abomination that has been poured into your soul, to throw it away like a garbage bag and to fill it with carefully selected good things !!!! No intimacy with bullies !!! Never, on any occasion, under any suck, be it parents !!! The abuser never changes. Find a friend, mentally separate even from your parents ... There is evil on this earth. We (and many others) have become and every day someone becomes an object of violence, and from bad to worse. Mialoto behind the back. We have legs, arms, a preserved mind, albeit a fragmented soul. Sew it, scars don't matter. Its strength is important. Good luck! And God be with you in the endeavor to remove all the abomination that has been poured into your soul, to throw it away like a garbage bag and to fill it with carefully selected good things !!!! We (and many others) have become and every day someone becomes an object of violence, and from bad to worse. Mialoto behind the back. We have legs, arms, a preserved mind, albeit a fragmented soul. Sew it, scars don't matter. Its strength is important. Good luck! And God be with you in the endeavor to remove all the abomination that has been poured into your soul, to throw it away like a garbage bag and to fill it with carefully selected good things !!!! We (and many others) have become and every day someone becomes an object of violence, and from bad to worse. Mialoto behind the back. We have legs, arms, a preserved mind, albeit a fragmented soul. Sew it, scars don't matter. Its strength is important. Good luck! And God be with you in the endeavor to remove all the abomination that has been poured into your soul, to throw it away like a garbage bag and to fill it with carefully selected good things !!!!