Hello. I am 33 years old and a year and a half ago I met the person I am with now. I had short and two long relationships, but I had never met anyone to see in the future. It all started like a fairy tale. Handsome, intelligent, caring ... I can trust him completely. We met our parents and they got along very well. I got pregnant 6 months ago. The greatest joy in our lives, a planned and infinitely wanted child. Due to a problematic pregnancy, we decided to spend more time in my home, where my parents are, so that there would be someone to help me and react when needed, because he is constantly at work. His parents live in a house outside the city. Ever since I got pregnant, he has become nervous, and at the very least, a scandal erupts. I tried to justify it with the workload and the new responsibilities of a future father, but in moments when I have to keep my condition screams and erupts. It was time for the renovations and a few weeks later, when a baby was born to live together .. But ... only later I understand that he decided to live with theirs. Without telling me ... People have given each other a home. pet to move (your apartment is theirs). I have no right to tell people not to live in their own app. and I respect them very much, but he didn't even consider it necessary to consult me. When I told him what I thought, he shouted that we wouldn't be able to cope without his mother ... The thought of sharing a kitchen, a bathroom, a toilet with his parents made me suffocate. I'll be like a guest ... I can't sleep from this thought, and he doesn't even hear ... that he decided to live with theirs. Without telling me ... People have given each other a home. pet to move (your apartment is theirs). I have no right to tell people not to live in their own app. and I respect them very much, but he didn't even consider it necessary to consult me. When I told him what I thought, he shouted that we wouldn't be able to cope without his mother ... The thought of sharing a kitchen, a bathroom, a toilet with his parents made me suffocate. I'll be like a guest ... I can't sleep from this thought, and he doesn't even hear ... that he decided to live with theirs. Without telling me ... People have given each other a home. pet to move (your apartment is theirs). I have no right to tell people not to live in their own app. and I respect them very much, but he didn't even consider it necessary to consult me. When I told him what I thought, he shouted that we wouldn't be able to cope without his mother ... The thought of sharing a kitchen, a bathroom, a toilet with his parents made me suffocate. I'll be like a guest ... I can't sleep from this thought, and he doesn't even hear ... I suffocate at the thought of sharing a kitchen, a bathroom, a toilet with his parents. I'll be like a guest ... I can't sleep from this thought, and he doesn't even hear ... I suffocate at the thought of sharing a kitchen, a bathroom, a toilet with his parents. I'll be like a guest ... I can't sleep from this thought, and he doesn't even hear ...
Answers 12
Beat his jester and don't bother, because your life will become a nightmare guaranteed. That he won't be able to do without his mother is complete nonsense she tells him. Really don't walk. He doesn't respect you now, imagine moving. Run while it's time.
I live with my husband's parents, but we are on a separate floor, I couldn't be together ... It's not a good idea, no matter how good they are, there will always be something to be annoyed about ... If the man wants to go. The relationship with the child changes a lot, and it has not appeared yet, and he is behaving badly ... It's good to help, but together, don't think. Abroad at the age of 18 separate or pay rent ...
These things are clarified before you get pregnant. I would never live with my mother-in-law.
Well, haven't you talked about where you will live before the child?
People, you are a family, what is ours, yours. You live separately, you will always find where. They will not agree with yours or theirs, the Balkan model of coexistence has been proven malicious.
By no means go - as from now on "you can not do without his mother", I imagine what they will do to you, just to enter their house. The family must be separate, be a wife, mother and housewife in your own home. People roar when they hit an old mother-in-law with a house, you in one place ... Better without a father than with an old mother-in-law, you will roar and regret it if you let him. Read through the forum and you will understand.
He may want many things, but what you want is also important. You are a couple. If he wants to live with mom and dad, and you do not - you have to sit down and understand. You don't have to listen and perform, much less follow it. You are even in a very advantageous position that you currently live with yours. You knock on the table and say you won't live with your parents in the same house. If he wants to walk, you stay with yours. You seem to have two problems. First, your husband does not respect you and your opinion when he makes such important decisions alone and does not keep your composure. Second, you obviously have an evil mother-in-law. That you won't be able to do without her are probably her words, which he repeats as a child. Mine also shouted at my husband that if he moved out he wouldn't be able to do without her, which is completely absurd, but apparently some men get tied up because my mom says so. Even if you have the coolest man and father-in-law, there has long been a saying that young people should be separate and that two women in one kitchen should not be accidental. Imagine how you would live - your mother-in-law will pull out your child and look after him or give you advice non-stop, because she still looked after a baby 30 years ago and knows better than you. He will ignore your opinion - he doesn't ask your son-in-law, don't you think that his mother will ask you? You will take such harassment and you will be crushed in such a way that you will forget who you are and in the end you will feel unfit to go out even if you end this hell. For cooking - mom will know best, you will still be nobody. Sex, if you do at all, will be quiet so that mom and dad do not hear. Eventually, instead of happy parents and spouses, you will become mom and dad's children unable to cope on their own. And on top of that, you'll have to be grateful to her,
Thank you for the comments! To numbers 3 and 4-We talked that the three of us (with the child) will live in his apartment. Their people have been living in the house outside the city for years and they like it there. This is his decision - we can't do without my mother, I understood it only now, ie he has now decided it ... I have an apartment (my own) but only the rough construction has been completed, and now I have no opportunity to do it. I will talk to him again and I am strongly against this decision. I will neither feel good nor feel like a woman .. I am just in a slightly unstable moment and I need such opinions / comments in which to make me angry and "wake up" ... :)
Don't worry, you're right not to want to live with his parents, so act boldly and don't give up.
Defend yourself! Now is the right time to make it clear to the gentleman that he will continue to seek your opinion and consider you an equal partner, not a babysitter and housewife.
Oleleeee! I do not sympathize with you! People can be super cool, but it's one thing to visit them sometimes, it's another to live with them. And without that, the birth of a child is a stressful moment for every couple, that now it remains to create more problems by getting used to the rules and regulations in the home of his parents. Not to mention that I just don't know a mother-in-law who doesn't give young people a sense of how to look after their child. It is guaranteed to get on your nerves, because hour after hour it will explain to you that you are not doing things right. It's easy for your man, he goes to work and is gone all day, and you will stand with a roaring baby and as a cover you will listen to the teachings of the mother-in-law that you do not become a mother and do not bathe the baby properly, do not breastfeed how many times a day, God forbid you decide not to breastfeed, then stay and watch the show! And in general she is the only one, who knows how to look after children. And there is nothing to explain about the household, you don't clean enough, the dishes are washed as you are ... you don't put enough salt in the food ... there is no end. And one more thing made a very bad impression on me, your husband had decided without even consulting you! That from where to where? Isn't this something you need to discuss and decide together. And he just tells you - we will live with ours. Abe, please! I know that the moment is very delicate, but if you allow it to be imposed on you now, then you will suffer for the rest of your life! So sit down with him and talk seriously, because it's not just about where you live, but about his overall attitude towards you. Apparently the man has decided that he will command you and you have no right to an opinion. And if you let him, think about it now,
Excluding Western whims, what's your problem? Are his parents cannibals? Want to watch you naked at home? They beat you, steal your belongings, something else? Don't you want to be a princess en masse? But in the castle lives not only the princess with the prince, but also the king and queen. Wealthy families also love many family houses. Get used to it!