Hello friends, I have a girlfriend, we have been together for 4 years and we have been together for about 30 years, I can safely say that this is the love of my life, the last 1 year, our relationship did not go very well and we finally decided to separate. We were separated for about 3-4 months, during that time, I suffered a lot, I realized how much I love her and that I can not live without her, I just woke up from hibernation. Later I revealed how I feel about her and we got together again, we are both very much in love, our relationship is always restarted. So far so good, but she told me that while we were separated she went with a boy from her company, they went 2-3 months. In short, he fucked her hard, he even got her pregnant and had an abortion, he was and he said he had sperm problems and couldn't have children and she assumed she believed him and he was splitting into her, these months, even anal did, complete perversions ... then separated and a little later I wrote and so on and so forth. The idea is that he does not want to do these things with me, but on she gave it to him, I don't know. I feel disgusted to understand that we were separated, but to immediately sleep with someone, as if she had forgotten me and she allowed him to do whatever he wanted with her. I try to swallow it, but I keep thinking and it's NOT ok. I even have thoughts of beating her a jerk permanently, please tell me what to do. I am open to any advice. she seemed to have forgotten me and she allowed him to do whatever he wanted with her. I try to swallow it, but I keep thinking and it's NOT ok. I even have thoughts of beating her a jerk permanently, please tell me what to do. I am open to any advice. she seemed to have forgotten me and she allowed him to do whatever he wanted with her. I try to swallow this, but I keep thinking and it's NOT ok. I even have thoughts of beating her a jerk permanently, please tell me what to do. I am open to any advice.
Answers 39
That it's not infidelity - it's not. You were separated after all. But I just wonder why he only does certain things with you and everything with him? I think wait a minute, but if it still is, ask her directly what is stopping her and why she has delays with you. It has happened to me, when I hold on to someone and out of worry about how I will present myself to him, to have restraints, and when I am in a non-committal relationship, to be completely free. But it should not be so.
Run away from her. She is with you because there is no other option at the moment.
I think you should give yourself another chance. If you have returned to each other despite these months of separation, then there is something real in your relationship. people suffer differently, its obviously been like being with another man. she decided that when she was with someone else she would forget you, but she couldn't. If what she's telling you is true about abortion, I mean, it's going to take her a long time to relax and have sex like people again. we women experience these things a lot. She chose you in spite of everything and thank you for telling you everything. I think she wanted you to start fresh and that's why she was so honest with you that she deserves respect and could hide from you. if you really love her and you obviously love her, try to forget about what happened. you need time
I am a woman, I was in a similar situation. Except that we were separated for weeks, I didn't get pregnant, and I slept 1-2 times with a boy I slept with several times before my serious relationship. What happened: I was together for 2 years. He dumped me unexpectedly in our apartment, said he wanted an open relationship for a few months, after which he definitely wanted to come back to me. In other words, to try with others and see if he feels anything more towards me, and come back again eventually. Because of the shock, the suffering, the betrayal, because I wasn't on my own, and last but not least - I'm passionately attractive, and I was only 21, I did it, I slept with someone else. Only 1 day later, 'mine' without knowing anything, seemed to realize - very brazenly and persistently annoying me. .. When I saw his tortured face, I judged, that he has already appreciated me / a year and a half has passed since then, and I confirm it /, we got together, that was the moment .. The same day I told him what I had done. It was not infidelity, because I did not feel bound, but abandoned and humiliated. I had written it off and I would not look for it. Let me add that I was jealous of him before the separation, but it was not without reason! I realized that during the separation he almost slept with another, although he felt attached to me. After we got together he told me 'I didn't know what I wanted, I wanted to know what I really wanted'. Do you have to lose a person to appreciate him? How can I tell you what to do here, given that you haven't even mentioned why you broke up. Are you tired? Or did she just bore you? What? If that's the reason, I don't think you should be angry with her for your own mistakes! Whoever crushed it. I wish you success and all the best!
The alternative is either to forgive and never remind yourself of what happened or to end the relationship. The worst thing is to stay together and in quarrels to remind and tease him, to torment yourself, even without telling her. It kills love - slowly but surely. It is pointless to continue with it, it will remain as a scar for years and at the slightest touch it will hurt you. Maybe her too. My advice is to break up permanently.
Man your story is about collage honestly. It is typical for men to suffer after separation and for women to indulge in debauchery. Now on to the topic. I personally would think about how readable this girl is. At the first separation, he immediately leaves with someone with whom he indulges in the breakup, and he doesn't want to do these things with you. It sounds kind of rotten to me. It's like breaking up and fucking 5 girls, and she suffered for you to get together and tell her that it was to forget her. How do you think he will react and will he love you in the same way? This question should be asked in my opinion. Good luck with the decision.
I personally would not be with her, if she loved you she would not have had to engage with another, even though you were separated, ie she did not intend to reunite one day and opened her legs to another. And what you wrote that she had an abortion, they filled her up a lot, she is a shallow-minded woman, obviously she is good as a person, but naive and stupid !!! If you are above these things, you are not for each other, but let her beat her head for life
Like "beating a jester", what will you dream about? Because you woke up from hibernation.
What a cheating dude, you've been separated for 4 months and she probably thought you wouldn't come back to her again.
Look now, when you are not together, she can do everything with as many men as she wants without you having the right to judge her! You have no right to do it now! Everyone experiences separation in a different way, and if she had caught up during these months, someone literate would hardly have returned to you. He was obviously a better lover or fucker than you and gave him more. Either you forget and never open the topic to stay together, or when your ego is so hurt, your ego splits. But you are a man and your life is yours, you have to make the decision yourself!
I'm a woman, but I was outraged! Don't go with a rag, have some self-esteem after all, masculine dignity, a sense of honor and just walk away from the one who smelled you, that you are in love and kind and is about to get it out of your nose! If a man I had love with spat in my face in a similar way, fucking and pouring semen into another without caring whether he would inflate her belly or not, he would immediately fly out of my life and that - finally! Courage and throw away the garbage immediately!
It's better to end your relationship with her. He seems to be a superficial person as soon as she jumps into someone else's bed after your separation. Normal people don't do that
In general, she has treated you badly. It's perfectly normal to get angry, given that she did things to him that she didn't do to you ... but you were separated and it wasn't infidelity. It's just mean, it's not infidelity. If you can't get over it, leave her. If you are happy with her, forget about what happened and go ahead.
my women are not loyal, what did you expect? make a baby and wash yourself, you have nothing to do with it
If I were you, I wouldn't admit her "feelings"! This is a great woman, and she did so if you ask her she will answer that she was affected and hurt, but not if you love patiently waiting for the man or just find a job. This is pure infidelity for me
The idea is that he is with you solely for security reasons. Why do women think they immediately find another man, because they are not really interested in men, but only in themselves. Write Hypergramy and read, everything will become clear to you. As long as you explain yourself to them in love with these women. She went and was torn from sex, she had an abortion and she doesn't think she regrets anything. Tear her right away, she may still be messing with him. Don't trust a woman. She even just waited for you to break up, you think she hadn't been in touch with him before. Bakhti how annoyed. If this story is true, I just can't believe men what pussies we are.
Abe,. Were you normal ??? Is what you wrote true ??? Excuse me, I have nothing personal to you, but I will be painfully honest !!! Don't you have a sense of dignity? Your "sweet, dear and unique" friend is fucking how she knows, and you continue to love her !!! . And let me ask you about her "friend" - are all her friends like him? This "girlfriend" of yours stays in the company of so many friends - does only one fix her or do they all line up ??? Sorry, but you're a pure cuckold! Not only that, but you continue your relationship - obviously you are striving to enter the category - NOBLE DEER !!! I don't see anything masculine in you. to you during those four years while you were together did she give you only one time to empty inside ANSWER ONLY THIS QUESTION. It's your job !!! If you move forward with it - you have no idea how many BAJANATS you will have in the future !!! If you like to go home laterally / because the branches of the horns will prevent you / - stop writing nonsense here and wait for the next branch !!!! You ask what to do ... Well, let me ask you - do you have a mind in your head ??? Why do you ask stupid questions? If her "friends" have played sex games, but you did not understand it is different, but you know and continue to crush - this is no answer! It's different to cheat on you .. Anyway! Start your life fresh and let this be a lesson for you !!! It's your job !!! If you move forward with it - you have no idea how many BAJANATS you will have in the future !!! If you like to go home laterally / because the branches of the horns will prevent you / - stop writing nonsense here and wait for the next branch !!!! You ask what to do ... Well, let me ask you - do you have a mind in your head ??? Why do you ask stupid questions? If her "friends" have played sex games, but you did not understand it is different, but you know and keep squeezing - there is no answer! It's different to cheat on you .. Anyway! Start your life fresh and let this be a lesson for you !!! It's your job !!! If you move forward with it - you have no idea how many BAJANATS you will have in the future !!! If you like to go home laterally / because the branches of the horns will prevent you / - stop writing nonsense here and wait for the next branch !!!! You ask what to do ... Well, let me ask you - do you have a mind in your head ??? Why do you ask stupid questions? If her "friends" have played sex games, but you did not understand it is different, but you know and keep squeezing - there is no answer! It's different to cheat on you .. Anyway! Start your life fresh and let this be a lesson for you !!! If you like to go home laterally / because the branches of the horns will prevent you / - stop writing nonsense here and wait for the next branch !!!! You ask what to do ... Well, let me ask you - do you have a mind in your head ??? Why do you ask stupid questions? If her "friends" have played sex games, but you did not understand it is different, but you know and continue to crush - this is no answer! It's different to cheat on you .. Anyway! Start your life fresh and let this be a lesson for you !!! If you like to go home laterally / because the branches of the horns will prevent you / - stop writing nonsense here and wait for the next branch !!!! You ask what to do ... Well, let me ask you - do you have a mind in your head ??? Why do you ask stupid questions? If her "friends" have played sex games, but you did not understand it is different, but you know and continue to crush - this is no answer! It's different to cheat on you .. Anyway! Start your life fresh and let this be a lesson for you !!!
I will not read all the comments ... I just want to say that being with someone to forget someone else is a purely ** funeral act in my opinion, regardless of whether it is on the part of a woman or a man .. Otherwise, leaving her does not make sense in my opinion ... There is a tale of overheated beans if you know it ... (I say this from experience .. Then it hurts much much more)
Imagine that you have an expensive and very beautiful vase, you broke it and glued it, is it the same as before? And to continue with it will never be the same as before. The past will always be between you. Whether it was infidelity or not, it will hurt you and you will be equally uncomfortable. There is no way to start with it, as there is no way with old ku. you become a new mess. Sorry for the rude expression.
You've actually been separated for a long time. She may have thought you would never get together again, and it was over. And I'm separated for a few months now, and I haven't even met anyone, let alone slept. I just have no desire at the moment. I accepted that everything between me and this man was over, because he did not want us to be together, and he had stated it so far. But even if we ever see each other, I can't judge him for sleeping with others or having relationships after me. He is a free man, after all. It will be unpleasant for me, but it is not infidelity in any case. Whether out of a desire for sex, or to replace me, but it's not infidelity. Infidelity is when you are together. If you separate for a long period of time, you can't judge the other person and expect them to wait for you for years, or to enter a convent. Some go after men or women, others get drunk, others cry and get depressed. I don't justify the girl, but I don't justify you either. During those months, you had thousands of opportunities to get it back, but it scared you and you listened. You told yourself that she would be waiting for you, that she would accept you and why hurry. But you are faced with a cruel reality. You now suffer more from hurt pride that she replaced you quickly than from strong feelings for her.
Run away !!! Women in the beginning, and in the aftermath, present themselves as not knowing the basic "murafet" in sex. The only goal is for the man next to her not to see her phenomenal abilities acquired from unbridled sex and 30-40 fuckers before him. Almost all of them had 2-3 friends before you. Run away !!!
22, abe, where did you read that she had let him empty only once! ??
There is only one option to stay together dude !!! You sit down and say directly what is bothering you. He must prove his love for you, not only in words, but also in actions and attitudes that a beloved man deserves. Not only to do what she gave to the other, but very much .... more what YOU WISH !!! Including everything, ALL YOUR SEXUAL DESIRES !!! And it was whatever you remembered. cumshot inside, unprotected, vag .. anal, swallowing .. Only then can you continue together, if she does not agree then this woman does not perceive you as a man. I am with the comment with No. 22 there I was very critical
In my opinion, to some extent it can be considered infidelity or your question cannot have a specific answer. Specifically, he is just a superficial person and it is not worth wasting time there.
I'm a girl. My friend and I also broke up for a few months, and I never cheated on him. I say "cheating" because for me, when you love someone, you have no desire to be with another. I loved him with all my heart, and every time he was about to have something happen to someone, I was disgusted and literally disgusted. I never crossed the border. Draw your own conclusions ...
to number 4: You are a light woman, slept with a boy, then a serious relationship, then supposedly abandoned but not forever jumped into the bed of the first and finally, like whistling the second / serious, tortured / again allowed him to himself. Do you even know what you want, and on top of all that, you started giving wisdom to others, given that you don't know how to put your own life in order. You seem to run very easily from bed to bed.
You made a huge ugly impression on me for the words you used in your story. Believe me, every woman will leave a meeting with you at exactly 5 minutes, if you use such words. There are much more sophisticated ways to describe your story. Nothing personal, I'm just expressing my opinion. On the topic: The sexual relationship in question is not infidelity - you have been officially separated. However, I am very surprised on what occasion your girlfriend shared these spicy stories. I also think it's not healthy for both of you to read an already strong newspaper. You better get together and make a final decision about your relationship, namely either you forgive / forget about everything she shared with you, or you break up once and for all. Another option - no! Merriyah
Author, I do not want to spam, but still - I am with comment number 4 and I answer the 31st, addressed to me: A complex person can sit behind the keyboard and write them. Yes, I am convinced that my comment is useful. And yours is definitely not. Yes, I know what I want, we are engaged and we want to have a child. I also have diverse interests. I have been with this man since I was 19 years old. There are an awful lot of light women, and you went to attack me. If I'm light, I don't know what light ones should be ... Haha! And yes, I have a past that I do not regret. :)
This is not infidelity. You were separated and at that moment she did not know that you would reunite. If she dumped it herself, then there's no need to be jealous of him. As for sex - he was probably small, that's why they did such things. Just ask her and talk. Once she has told you all this, she will hardly have a problem telling you how she feels about you and the other person.
I'm 31 - to 4, 33 - Wow, how useful will the comment be to you? Because I saw no use in it, except that you are confused in your reasoning and easily change your moods and beds. When you are 19 years old with your boyfriend and you want a child, why did you throw yourself into the bed of the previous one? I do not see any logic or reason in this. Everyone has a past, and you do not regret your scandalous past, even as she said, on the contrary, you wave it like a flag, given that you should be ashamed rather than give reason to confused people. Definitely your attitude towards your engaged friend from whom you want a child is healing, otherwise you would not have jumped into the bed of the previous one, given that your fiancé has clearly stated that he is not leaving you for good, but rather he needs time to think. And how did you give him that time? Meeting with the other, the previous one. I'm sorry, but such a past is scandalous, at least last and don't wave it on the forums.
I do not think that this is not infidelity! You may be separated, but if you love the person next to you, you will not immediately have sex with another. It is very significant that she did not do the things she did with him. Female psychology is complicated, I think she is at ease with you, but she was more aroused with him and therefore allowed him everything. My ex-love, I'm talking about an 11-year relationship, is also coservative in sex, but I have indications that if she meets a strong man, she will work miracles ..... M34
36, we are engaged recently. In general, your whole idea of me is wrong, but it's your job, not mine. If we were in private, you would not be able to afford something like that. He didn't need time to think, but he told me that he wanted to sleep with others and then go home to the 'safe'. There is a huge difference! Still, it has a lot in common with the author's situation, I just saved a lot in the comments about it. And only a person in such a situation can really help the other.
Author, you seem to be hiding something. Tell me why you broke up in 3-4 months? Because you were working abroad? He had problems in his family, with his parents? Or did you want to check if some little cutie wouldn't let you go and because you don't want to risk being left alone and leave your girlfriend and relationship dry on a break? I've seen this movie, dear, and you know, you don't care what happens to you. Men rely too much on women's monogamy. They play them to have fun, and then with some silly explanations they return to their burnout and that's it. Everything is ok with them. And that their friend shed tears like a crocodile all night, that she blamed herself and wondered where she went wrong - very important ... Now be a man and forgive, because you asked for it yourself, and whoever asks for it receives. As for the extras in sex, and there you will have to accept that you are not entitled to it. You have to excite and liberate her if you want to get more. She needs to trust you and make sure you don't get fed up and dump her. Now is the time to be honest, above things and open to each other, now or never. The result will be either a great mature relationship or separation forever. You decide ... and don't act like a country boy, but like a man who understands that love is not only uratuta, but there are also problems to solve ...
32, and it made a "huge bad" impression on me how petty you have to be to keep track of a word, of a stranger, after parting, in a desperate state, in an anonymous internet forum. Let me enlighten you: the vocabulary in front of a close audience is drastically different from the one used anonymously among strangers, especially in the presence of insult. Don't pretend that your opinion reflects the position of every woman, because there are no more disgusting than pretentious snobs who are "outraged" by any omission. If you like the color palette of everyday language, earplugs cost pennies, and the Internet is not for you.
From the author: Thank you all for the opinions, good or bad, they helped me a lot to assess the situation from the sides and I made a decision, I parted with it, it's just not worth it, I can not tolerate such "whore" behavior. To miss her, to hurt me, but better now than later and to regret that I did not part with her some time ago. It's just that my ego is badly hurt and I never managed to forgive her, I hope in time to swallow the situation and look at it with different "eyes".
I'm 31, 36 - up to 4, 33, 38 Clearly, he only told you that he wanted to try to be with another, but then come back to you. I quote you "said he wanted an open relationship for a few months, after which he definitely wants to come back to me." And another quote "I realized that during the separation he almost slept with another, although he felt attached to me. "For a while, you don't say for sure that he did it to cheat on you with another. While you're acting mean, without much talk, jump into your ex's bed, right? On top of that, you proudly declare that you are engaged and have plans for a child. Well, congratulations, you made him a nice pre-wedding gift by decorating him with your ex's horns. I do not wish any man such a bride as you. And thank you, that the site is anonymous because if I knew you personally I would not have any hesitation to tell you again and again right in the eyes that you are a light woman and your act towards your fiancé is very mean and unworthy. And since you have plans for a common future and a child - hopefully at least the child will be from him.
In response to 43: you can think whatever you want. :) you keep fantasizing, I don't have exes, ie I haven't been in a relationship. If you're talking about sex, it's different. "If he had sat still, he would not have seen a miracle," was his. This is not infidelity or betrayal, he betrayed me and abandoned me, I continued on my own, I would not look for him anymore. And before it all happened, he told me that he wanted me to sleep with someone else. Shock! Why? - so that he doesn't mind how he does them. I would never cheat, by the way. Besides, I'm nice, I cook well, I'm good in bed and more. But I stop that malice will ruin you as you read me. I, like you, where they stick their beaks, where they do not work, I do not honor them with any care in life. It's just that your anger is ruining you. There's no point in that. Good luck, author!
When my boyfriend and I broke up for a few months (I thought it was final and wouldn't come back), I was sick of any contact with people, regardless of gender ... I didn't even want to hug my girlfriends ... And he caught a young girl in the 1st month ... I forgave him, even though it was very difficult for me. Judge for yourself if you can forgive him.
I'm 43 - up to 44 Of course I'm talking about sex, I admit it to myself - I quote you "If you're talking about sex, it's different." infidelity ??? And then you accept your sinful friend again, you get engaged and you want children from him. On the other hand, she cooked well, she knew how to knit and sew tapestries, she was beautiful, and she was good at her bed, you started to brag to the poor thing, otherwise no one would notice you, let alone judge you. Look at this, your last confession about the bed, I take it for granted, specifying that you are best able to change beds easily. Lastly, I don't have a beak, nor do I get into other people's problems and relationships. I am convinced that both as a vision and as a soul I surpass you many times over. I just put you in your place - you can't be confused,