Hello, I am 27 years old. I have a girlfriend of 6 years, we have been living with her for 2 years. Three months ago, I found out that she had cheated on me with a 44-year-old colleague (and she is 27). I felt terrible. As far as I understood, it was only once - not because she told me, but because I checked facts and others. We quarreled a lot and I moved out. I couldn't believe it. I also gave her everything she needed. I never insulted or hit her, I treated her like a princess. I gave my attention every day, respect and everything unconditionally. I also helped financially, I was always by her side in difficult times. I worked like a beast so that we could raise money for an apartment and not be in an apartment. When I worked hard so we could afford to raise money, this happened - she explained - that I hadn't paid enough attention to her and that's why she did it and she's sorry. He stopped keeping in touch with the other person. She had no serious intentions for him. After 2 days I came back and now we live together again. However, the feeling of betrayal torments me every day. There was not a day that I didn't remember what had happened since then. Every time he goes out somewhere I think about what happened. It was a business trip for 2 days with the company where she met the person in question. I didn't want to walk. After explanations and checking if the other one would be there (it turned out not to be) she left. From her side, I really see that she wants to regain my trust again. he gives me reports (although I didn't ask) where he is with whom he goes. However, I can't believe it again (at least not until now). Now she has the opportunity to go on a business trip for 3 days abroad. He will not know anyone and worries whether to go or not. The problem with me is that I imagine how he will meet one of those with whom he will travel and start something like this. In principle, I'm not jealous - I've never been, but now I'm not on my own, I only think things that drive me crazy. She wants us to stay together - an awful lot. He has recently started talking about children and how we will move forward and be happy. However, I don't know if I can believe again ... this feeling of distrust destroys me. Now, instead of being happy for her, walking will develop and make me sad. even when she told me that she could go, she saw that I was not happy - as I have always done so far for her and her successes. She asked me why I was not happy for her, I lied, I was not in the mood and problem at work. However, she understood why I was not happy. He asked, "Because do you think he'll go too?" she even stopped wearing short skirts (again, I didn't ask for it), she once said when dressing for work that she was very provocative and would not wear a skirt. I see that she is trying and wants us to stay together. However, I can't begin to believe again. Tell me what to do? Shall I say that I can't begin to believe her? then, however, she may want us to separate. However, I wonder if I should ask before her, because I feel terrible. I want to continue with her, but it's hard for me. Should I talk to her or keep pretending to forgive completely? Please advice. she even stopped wearing short skirts (again, I didn't ask for it), she once said when dressing for work that she was very provocative and would not wear a skirt. I see that she is trying and wants us to stay together. However, I can't begin to believe again. Tell me what to do? Shall I say that I can't begin to believe her? then, however, she may want us to separate. However, I wonder if I should ask before her, because I feel terrible. I want to continue with her, but it's hard for me. Should I talk to her or keep pretending to forgive completely? Please advice. Tell me what to do? Shall I say that I can't begin to believe her? then, however, she may want us to separate. However, I wonder if I should ask before her, because I feel terrible. I want to continue with her, but it's hard for me. Should I talk to her or keep pretending to forgive completely? Please advice. Tell me what to do? Shall I say that I can't begin to believe her? then, however, she may want us to separate. However, I wonder if I should ask before her, because I feel terrible. I want to continue with her, but it's hard for me. Should I talk to her or keep pretending to forgive completely? Please advice.
Answers 22
Until you forgive, you will not be free. I'm not saying forget. Whether you will stay together is another question. Probably the welding is out of curiosity, this is of course not an excuse.
In principle, I support number 1, but this requires a great deal of self-belief above all, and it is shaken in the author - I think that the woman has managed with one of her actions to ruin his entire self-esteem as a man and this can not get along - not with this woman. "She wants us to stay together - a lot. He has recently started talking about children and how we will move forward and be happy. "Look, it doesn't matter what she wanted. What matters is WHAT YOU WANT. I think she wants to tie you up because you're obviously good (I'm not saying soft) and she's living well with you. Look around - it's full of good husbands and fathers whose wives put their horns to heaven. What if? provide the cherished apartment? If by any chance he didn't understand ... even if she told you herself, what does that change? It's even worse that it was like that, without serious intentions. How can you be sure that it was the first, and just the first, that you catch? And most of all, it will be the last !!! Doubt will always remain. Especially with problems and crises in your family, this woman will inevitably lean towards something quick and non-committal - you can never catch such a woman, because if there is a lover she will die sooner or later - with such men you can not catch her. It exploded once, but it will pass 10 times and on the 11th you can catch it ... by then your horns will have circled the earth! ... but anyway - you decide. I am a woman and I know what women think. One loving and in love woman can never think of another - you just get sick. Once you've spread your legs for someone you liked and passed your trick, why not open them for others you like - you obviously live by the motto "once you live". With children, such a woman can tie any ball. He knows very well that he becomes addicted because the children always stay with the mother. ... it's full of such fools. The author decides, but I, as a woman who knows female nature, advise him to hope for 2 condoms with this one - not only because of the venereal ones, but also to insure 100% that children will not suffer later. Do what you do, but only with a condom! g. 28
I've been in a similar situation, and like you, I wanted to forgive and move on, but I just couldn't. Like you, from a self-confident man who is never jealous, I gradually became a nervous jealous man with a mania for control. I finally ended the relationship myself. If I hadn't done it, she would have done it. Her action changed my attitude towards her and it was detrimental to our relationship. There is nothing to lie about. I didn't swallow the separation easily, even though it was my choice, but "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger." Male 29
I know how it feels, because I went through that too. But unlike you, I'm always jealous, and I told him from the beginning that if he betrayed me, he would lose me. In 4 years he won my full trust, I loved him, I lived for our common future, I gave myself away, I wanted him constantly. He swore to me eternal fidelity and love and that I would always be the only one for him. I was in heaven, with wings and a passion to grow and succeed. There came a period when he began to keep his distance and cold, repelling me. I asked him why, and he said I was suffocating him with my devotion and attention. He loved me, but he wanted personal time and space. I doubted and went to his Skype. And what to see - he had betrayed me. He hadn't had sex with anyone because I caught him in time, maybe. But I do not wish such pain to my greatest enemy. I was vomiting from it. I got sick in a week and now I am terminally ill. He was sorry, he said he was a fool, and he did it out of stupidity and it would never happen again. I gave him a chance and I didn't leave him. It's been 6 years since this incident, but I can't forget. I forgave him, but I can't trust him as I used to, even though he is very different now, very kind and dedicated. Because of my illnesses, I always remember what caused me. I know it's in the past, but unfortunately the traces remain. We can't have children now, but I don't blame him. It's my fault that I trusted him and loved him so much. I'm fine with him, because now he's the best man in the world, he helps me, he's almost become a dream man. If I wasn't sick, everything would be fine :(. Just tell her you'll give her a probationary period to regain your trust. I don't know, it's hard and it depends on how much he loves you. No one is perfect, everyone makes mistakes. I wish you success!
Dude, number 2 is a woman, but she told you very accurately. Without knowing you and your girlfriend, I'm 80% sure she doesn't love you at all. It's just (back to comment number 2) that you're good and hardworking. He will live wonderfully with you, he will not strain at all and he will wave freely left and right without any problems while you break away from work. It is very clear that he will talk to you about children, so he will bind you to himself forever. In conclusion, I will allow myself to make another guess. I'm pretty sure your girlfriend can't afford the life you give her. Still correct me if I'm wrong.
Should you have forgiven, sincerely or otherwise ??? There was no excuse for her to turn, but the fact that it was out of curiosity softened the circumstances ??? Are you serious??? Now let me tell you what I think. She certainly did it with feelings and I'll tell you why. If this friend of yours wanted to experiment and was curious, why the hell wouldn't she sleep with someone 20-25-30 years old who would look far better than 44? The answer is simple, this is a gambler and he probably knows what to say and what to do at the right time, this has opened the door to your girlfriend's innermost place (and hardly only to her, but don't bother with it, because obviously You will never understand). Don't tell me you'd sleep with a 45-year-old woman like that if you don't have feelings, given that there are far younger perhydrols, who are curled up for quick sex, for coffee or lunch at the mall (it's a crisis after all). So, so far we have found that in addition to infidelity, he is currently hiding the motives that what else to tell you? The dumb thing about the whole thing is that you ask, question and expect something from her, given that you obviously have a person in front of you who is a total liar. But let's leave it, because there have been so many that you shouldn't be surprised. Let's talk about you. You are weak-willed, soft-spoken, and on top of that you obviously don't have a drop of dignity. The above makes you everything else, but not a man in any sense to look at. Only she told you that the reason was in you, because you did not pay attention to her, and you, in turn, caught thinking about the issue and would probably agree with her to some extent, just because you do not have your own view and opinion on the issue. You are ready to take her lack of responsibility just because you can't imagine being alone in your apartment at the moment and whining and snoring around the clock. Thank you for earning a living, as well as providing a shared home, but that doesn't make you a man or make you a dude. You are ready to lie to her that you have forgiven, to hide hatred and anger inwardly, just because there is something more terrible for you than this infidelity. You are currently weighing in on the scales, against your own suffering and temporary loneliness. Now to your question, what to do: As long as you are afraid of experiencing some pain and loneliness, in the name of some of your built morals, you will always be ill. But oh, problem, you have no morals, you have no goals, you have no boundaries, precisely because everything you did is for her, not for you. You think if you forgive her, she'll look you in the eye tomorrow, will it feel bad and the incident will not happen again? Didn't you think the same thing when you decided to sacrifice work and money to ensure the common good? Did you think that by ensuring these things you wrote, she would appreciate it all? My opinion is that you will forgive her because you are a small soul, but rest assured, you will be neither the first nor the last. When a child is born to you one day, you will look him in the eye and look for hope in resemblance to you, because you will secretly doubt whether this child is yours at all. If it is yours, you will take a deep breath, you will be relieved and you will say that the one from above was kind to you. Of course, all this will be repeated every time she goes out while she is alone, at women's parties or corporate celebrations. Such "men" like you are not remembered much, because most in Bulgaria are like you. See there is another kind of men,
I will tell you briefly and clearly: once she has baptized, she will do it again. Such women do not stop, what is the guarantee that when / if you become a family she will not decide that her life is boring and decide to diversify it ... with a colleague.
Leave it, such are most nowadays. Find a better one. XII
give her one last chance, but don't stop keeping an eye on her
Hello, 8. '' A loving and in love woman can never think of another - you just get sick. "You're sick of it - no, but you can't find a basis for comparison, because you just see them as walking subjects of the opposite sex. Or if you see something positive, you find - maybe this, well done and that's it. There is such an interest - nice and that's it. Hmmm, we don't seem to be many women who accept most men as people :)))) For example, I was like that. But the prejudices of his mother, colleagues, and so on were that it was impossible for me not to be bound by him, as if I wanted a child. If he offers me and I accept, eee, here it is - I have achieved my goal. Hmm. How to explain to a person who also wanted, at least in his words, that you refrain until they understand that I will not tie anyone. If it's about tying, for 4 years can't i do it ???? It is very important when giving assessments, judgments and advice that you do not start from yourself. Because no one is authoritative. It doesn't apply to you. After seeing that I was pulling, until they realized that there was no such hidden purpose - hahaha, it's even funny to me now, because there was nothing to look for - the man decided. So he doesn't love me, let's stop the program already, goodbye. Let's see now if this is exactly what it will not come across. And there is no way it is not so, because "society" only accepts such as loving. Now I have not tied him, they can breathe easily. So ... what can I tell you. All kinds of cases. it's even funny to me now, because there was nothing to look for - the man decided. So he doesn't love me, let's stop the program already, goodbye. Let's see now if this is exactly what it will not come across. And there is no way it is not so, because "society" only accepts such as loving. Now I have not tied him, they can breathe easily. So ... what can I tell you. All kinds of cases. it's even funny to me now, because there was nothing to look for - the man decided. So he doesn't love me, let's stop the program already, goodbye. Let's see now if this is exactly what it will not come across. And there is no way it is not so, because "society" only accepts such as loving. Now I have not tied him, they can breathe easily. So ... what can I tell you. All kinds of cases.
Give it one last chance. But watch her do what they do. And during that time, try to please yourself a little. This girl can live with 200 and 2? Because if you pay more attention to it, you will have less money. Absurd for children.
To 6: This post of yours is absurd. How can you claim that the author is not a man, that he had no principles, that he was weak-willed (and all the other nonsense he wrote about him), given that he was committed to the relationship, that he worked for their common future and that despite everything trying to keep the connection?
Hardly anyone can help you or restore your faith. Take it as an unsuccessful experiment caused by emotions with the wrong person. The first problem is age (27-27). You are in the process of development, and she is able to start a family and have children. For her, she is an experienced love that cannot wait for you to grow up (you have not yet grown up in the notions of a real man) and quite normally orients herself to a built personality, both materially and spiritually. Even if the connection is only momentary, she has opened the Pandora's box and understood the truth about life. The woman is looking for a strong man who will provide her with a future, both for her and for the children she will give birth to. This is an instinct from the Stone Age that is still relevant today. Be thankful you don't have children because of a sense of responsibility,
6, what are you attacking man, because of someone else's stupidity was? This stupid Bulgarian proverb "It's not crazy who eats the pie, but who gives it to him" justifies the simplicity of a lot of people. And even in family life, in love, etc. What are these nonsense - the victim of murder has no self-esteem, which is given to the killer, the stupid Bulgarian reasoning. Not only does he give her a hand, he gives her a chance, even though she doesn't deserve it, but you'll call him soft. How come? It is not a matter of bragging so that he does not feel like a victim, ready for anything, and she makes him crazy. The point is to reprimand her well enough because she made the mistake, she brought infidelity into their relationship, she was wrong, she is soft, to put it mildly, she destroyed the relationship. He was like that, he was like that. Once she confessed, it is clear who she is. To judge if he loves her so much. At least it won't weigh on his conscience that he messed up in front of her because he didn't. Let's support the decent ones now, shall we? What do you think?
Oh, as long as you spit on the girl, what if he hasn't done his bed job, aaa, do you know how many dissatisfied women there are?
Up to 13 and 15 out of 6. Stupidity is in the one who suffers, not in the one who does what he wants. Everyone has the right to do what they choose to do right, but with that in mind, they must take responsibility for it. He is not a man yes and probably never will be. Precisely because most men seem to behave like him, people like you seem to be very smart and flashy muffins do whatever they want and turn men on their toes. Here comes the question: Why does this always happen to the same people? Why didn't they cheat on me? Why didn't they do it to my acquaintances? And what is this nonsense that she had to be "rebuked"? It's like having a dog, running after bitches, and you kicking it and hoping it won't do it next time, or tying it up, what's the point of all this? Will this give you peace of mind? Is it reason? You think like puberty, man does not change, and in view of his actions he must be accepted, not according to words. See if there is synchronicity between the two, then everything is fine, isn't there, what kind of relationship are we talking about? For one in which this fool will think that everything is fine, he will even suggest it to himself, just so that he is not alone and squeals day and night. And she, in turn, will still do what she knows and will lie to him that she plays by his rules. A meaningless life woven of lies, no thanks. And yes, he was not a victim when he found out that she was cheating on him, but he became one when he decided to forgive because he saw the lesser evil. There are no victims in this life, everyone deserves what is happening to him. in which this fool will think that everything is fine, he will even suggest it to himself, just so that he is not alone and squeals day and night. And she, in turn, will still do what she knows and will lie to him that she plays by his rules. A meaningless life woven of lies, no thanks. And yes, he was not a victim when he found out that she was cheating on him, but he became one when he decided to forgive because he saw the lesser evil. There are no victims in this life, everyone deserves what is happening to him. in which this fool will think that everything is fine, he will even suggest it to himself, just so that he is not alone and squeals day and night. And she, in turn, will still do what she knows and will lie to him that she plays by his rules. A meaningless life woven of lies, no thanks. And yes, he was not a victim when he found out that she was cheating on him, but he became one when he decided to forgive because he saw the lesser evil. There are no victims in this life, everyone deserves what is happening to him.
Author: First of all, I would like to thank 13 and 15 for their support because despite my post (which may present me as uncertain and soft at the moment), I am not really like that by nature. And whether they suggested it or said to support me, I appreciate it. The downside is that sometimes our decent ones fuck us a little more ... Towards 14: It's not good to judge how mature a person is over the years, but thanks for the comment. I have been supporting myself since I was 16 - I have been living without my parents ever since. I work like an ox and I can say that I have built a career that gives me security. I have developed as a person, I have matured spiritually even before my friends understand what is important in life and what is not. They have not even realized where they have gone and what their goals in life are. Don't get me wrong, I'm not bragging, I'm just describing the picture so that I don't get caught up in a frame I shouldn't be in. 14 I'm not attacking you, don't get me wrong, I'm just clarifying. To 5: thank you for your courage. There is the question that he loves me or imitates love very well. At least until now she loved me, I don't know how it will happen in the future - I hope they don't change things. She described to me what she loved and valued in a man and how I had these qualities. If she did it for 6 years with the intention of deceiving me - I don't know if anyone would bother. Otherwise, the question of whether she can support herself: Yes, without me. It will be difficult, but not impossible. to 6: Thank you for looking at the other side of the coin. "But oh, problem, you have no morals, you have no goals, you have no boundaries, precisely because everything you have done is for her, not for you. and she always wanted us to go somewhere. And probably this helplessness that can't get my attention in any way prompted her. But that doesn't excuse her in the slightest. Someone appeared who said 2 nice words to her and she took a bite ... Please, without reproach: you turned her around !!! Who is to blame ??? and similar hater cracks. How long can I expect to regain my trust, not who is right and who is wrong ... we are both to blame in this case we will not be deceived !!! My question to women is this: When you have found someone who cares about you and is ready for you the impossible. How can you cheat when you know you can lose it? just because of that attention you are ready to turn your back on a person you can count on, to support you and provide you, who helps you develop, gives you advice on how to go up in the profession, recommends you back and forth, because there are men who do not give their wives as much as they can ??? Do you hope he won't understand? Tell me this ... how can you forget these things that have been given to you for years and ignore them for 6 months and go somewhere? Tell me that too. One more thing I would like to ask only if it seems to me or 60% of people cheat (if not more) judging by the forum and my environment. Does it just seem to me that cheating is now normal and everyone is doing it? Thanks to everyone for the answers and time. I did not want to offend anyone - if it sounded like I was answering, despite not !!! One more thing I would like to ask only if it seems to me or 60% of people cheat (if not more) judging by the forum and my environment. Does it just seem to me that cheating is now normal and everyone is doing it? Thanks to everyone for the answers and time. I did not want to offend anyone - if it sounded like I was answering, despite not !!! One more thing I would like to ask only if it seems to me or 60% of people cheat (if not more) judging by the forum and my environment. Does it just seem to me that cheating is now normal and everyone is doing it? Thanks to everyone for the answers and time. I did not want to offend anyone - if it sounded like I was answering, despite not !!!
17, your logic is great - who who. There are people (obviously like you) who use the kindness of others and then enjoy the result - something like vampirism ....
There is no stopping after the first infidelity. A good relationship is when a man and a woman see each other and live on their salaries. Understand that the absence of a member does not release you from employment.
the seed of discord is sown and will only grow with age, infidelity is not accepted with forgiveness, it sounds false, rather reconciliation is the right word, and when there is a truce - remember, it is until the next war
Author, I answer you for the last time. You screw something on your finger that has only happened once. From my first post I told you that you don't really ask anything, you just sniff and complain. Tomorrow, if he cheats on you a second time, it will be the same again, only you will say to yourself: "Well, that's it, you don't become a cuckold twice" You are doomed, I think I mentioned it to you. Either you cut from the root, or you don't try to think about topics that don't make sense, as you've already been told, you resign yourself so much. Just think about the other moment, not just this scenario in which you worked hard, didn't pay attention to it and didn't go out. The other point is that when she saw that you work a lot, she should purr and be happy that you are like that, and not put horns on you. If she couldn't keep her body in her pants, what are we talking about? She loved you you were even sure, even confident :) I bet she's ready to live on your back, how can she not pray and apologize to you, as the other option is probably to go home to theirs or to have to pay for accommodation . You are very naive honestly, I am angry at people like you, but you will learn, believe me.
Well done number 20, the most accurate opinion on the topic !!!! Author, I would advise you to listen to number 22. Just the excuse of your "girlfriend" that you did not pay attention to her because you work hard is terribly rude. How is it even possible for the person next to you to break away from work, at the same time to lie down in the heat or do something like that to beat the numbers and finally to cheat on the same person. In general, how do you marry women who have no goals or interests in life. Above you say that if your "girlfriend" is not with you, she will not be able to live as freely as with you. If you were an independent woman, responsible and serious, I might advise you to give her another chance. In this situation, however, things are clear. You are the perfect party for a husband of good income, you are constantly gone, hardworking, responsible, etc.