Hello. A girl of 19 writes to you. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year, and before that we had known each other since 2010. The problem is that my family - my brother and my father mostly, are against us being together and seeing each other (we are in different cities by the way) and we have to see each other secretly every time ... I always make some excuses where and with whom I go, but most of the time, let's all fight because they don't believe (for a reason) and my brother, who studies in another city when he comes for the weekend, thwarts my and my friend's plans to be home alone or we have been to a hotel several times as you can not in us. We love each other a lot, but having to see each other secretly every time just because of them just exhausts me.
Now for this one we had thought of everything for 2 days and we were going to go to a hotel and stay this time for the night, but my brother decided to come, so it won't happen, because they will constantly call me who I am with, where I am, to want to hear from some of those where we are together, why I'm out all day instead of studying (for entrance exams) and the so-called becomes simply unbearable, every time I feel like it collapses when it happens. And since he didn't come, I can deceive my father as much as when I went out and something else if necessary, he is at work until 5 pm, and my mother works in the city where my brother studies, ie I live with my father. me, but my brother when he comes (he never says before) and thwarts our plans to see each other calmly as it happened now.
Only they prevent us from being together calmly and it exhausts me that every time we have to see each other secretly and we can't when we want and I just don't know .. you probably remember what I mean .. every time he lies excuses terrible scandals .. I can't stand it .. You will tell these years that they shouldn't hold such an account for me and do the quota I want, but if I do that then when I come home it becomes a huge unbearable scandal and I really want to explode .. once it hits me, my father, where am I with this boy (and he is not a bad boy really).
I can't go anywhere I have no money .. if I say that we broke up? but I can't pretend I love him so much .. I don't know .. please help me what to do every time we see each other to be problem-free .. for now, to do this and say that we are separated it seems to me that most there will be an effect, but I don't know, it seems to me that I can't do it like that .. Awful, please help my city because they don't give it to me and I don't know.
Answers 6
От авторката : да добавя, че коментари от рода на да си намеря някой от тук и т. н. ще са излишни, както и това, че уж нашите искат най-доброто за мен. Да, може да е така, но те прекаляват, това тяхното е прекалено, навсякъде където излезна да ми държат сметка къде съм, с кой съм, да се прибирам до 10.. на 19 съм за Бога.. не съм кой знае колко голяма, но имам същите права като тях, мога да си седя до когато искам навън или в приятели.. колко пъти съм им обяснявала, че само на мен като на някоя задръстенячка техните й звънят по 100 пъти като излезне и я карат да се прибира супер рано, не мога да остана до когато си искам с другите, колко пъти приятелите са ме карали да остана и да говоря с тях, случвало се е дори те да говорят с тях за да остана но нашите се държат с мен като с 12-годишна и живеят в тяхното време.. Всички други родители ако звъннат, звънят 1-2 пъти, някои дори изобщо, а нашите ме побъркват от звънене.. изключвала съм си телефона, после като си дойда огромен скандал пак.. единствено моето семейство е против това да сме заедно с приятеля ми и да се виждаме, всички други ни се радват, само те пречат винаги за всичко!!! :(.. те няма да се променят знам, но какво да направя, за да се виждаме с приятеля ми спокойно без техните разправии, моля ви помогнете ми..
Okay. I realized you were 19, but nowhere did I see how old he was. I'll tell you one thing ... Family is never an obstacle. Do you want to study? Congratulations. This is really commendable. What does the boy you love think about this? What are your objections to it? Here's how I see things: If he loves you, he'll find a way to be with you. He will find a way to support you and be by your side. Hotels, hiding ... are you serious? These are not ways to be with the one you love. These are the ways to be a secret mistress. Consider starting work and enrolling in absentia next year, and going out this year. For me, this is the right way. And let me know that this is a serious and big step, but if you are not ready for it, think about whether the problem is really in your family?
Tell her, why are your parents so against your boyfriend?
From the author to number 2: He is one year younger than me, we are both really sane, we think properly about life, we are not some drug addicts and the like. I will study, yes, I graduated this year, but for personal reasons I am now preparing to apply, before I was accepted, but I dropped out and now I will apply for another specialty that requires a lot of study. My friend is aware of everything and supports me no matter what happens. Our objections against him are that he was very weak, I am talking about his appearance, and that he was not for me because we are from different cities, etc., but even if I find someone from here, they will always find a flaw. , I know them. Do you think this is a prerequisite not to be with someone, because I don't think so. They've only been at the same table with him once, they don't know him or anything ... they don't know what kind of person he is, I will not describe it in detail now, but I tell you that it is really decent and holds me very much. it has happened to me to tell him to find one from there to make it easier for him, etc. but he does not want, he only wants me and he is ready for anything to be together. we always find a way. and hotels - this is because when my brother came we can't go to us, and you remember like any normal couple and we want to be alone .. the first time I was against hotels because I felt like a prostitute or a family, but I know why we do it and I don't care so much anymore .. hiding - it's just ours, because if they find out that we were together then it will be a huge scandal and I can not stand just such a huge tension .. what does it look like everyone else let our friends rejoice in them,
Abe girl, I think you need to find something secret that your brother is doing and blow it up. You are a brother and sister and in principle you should support each other, but once it doesn't work out in a good way, try something else. I don't know if you talked calmly to him to explain to him anyway and for him to get into your situation, to support you and even to cover for you. If you haven't talked, try, if you have and it doesn't work, just try to understand something that he is hiding from yours and blow it out to see if it's good. Regarding yours, I thought ours were like that, but obviously there are worse. I have no idea how to explain to them that you want to be with this person, even though long-distance relationships are difficult. I had such a relationship and now I have it again and it's not easy. But just if you're not afraid, you sit down and talk to them. You tell them you want to be with this person, why don't they understand.
Radish, if you know how many times I have explained everything to them, but my opinion is irrelevant to them. I don't know what to do anymore, I've tried so many times in a good way and I explain everything to them, I speak normally, sometimes I raise my voice when they try to impose themselves again and just what I said goes through one ear and comes out the other ... So I'm glad I'm not like them, that it's not true ... For my brother ... well, I don't know what to find out where he does secretly and do the same to him .. there's nothing simple, I have no idea how .. I've tried, but I don't know .. What to talk to him .. it will be absolutely unnecessary .. until recently he constantly hacked my Skype and read and reported everything to my father - what do we write, when will we see each other, etc. . .. now at least I've found a way not to do it, that we have separated, they will stop bothering me and everything they do .. I did not want to lie and thus do nothing, I am not such a person, but if they do not care about my feelings and do what they want all the time one thing is their life, they don't deserve my good treatment on this issue .. Everyone and I define myself as such a good person, and with them I want to get along well and let me live my life, but I can't with the good, I tried so many times and I no longer have the strength, they are hopeless, so we see each other secretly ... My brother has not even seen my friend, but there is no point in talking to him .. he is like in alliance with my father , namely those 2 always fail me something, especially related to my friend. This is not my family, I have known it for years. My brother and father have always supported each other for years. whatever my brother says, even if it's wrong, my father listens to it and supports it .. how many times something he said is true, I said how it is, then when he makes a mistake I tell them that they should listen to me too, but who to hear .. I am the youngest in the family and I am stupid for them, etc. , as if I don't have a head on my shoulders, and anyone other than them would define me as decent, good, etc. man ... Give me more advice, please. As well as some advice on how to continue the fact that we are supposedly separated ... I'm already so worried that even if the answer is in front of me, I can't see it, please give my advice :) I am the youngest in the family and I am stupid for them, etc. , as if I don't have a head on my shoulders, and anyone other than them would define me as decent, good, etc. man ... Give me more advice, please. As well as some advice on how to continue the fact that we are supposedly separated ... I'm already so worried that even if the answer is in front of me, I can't see it, please give my advice :) I am the youngest in the family and I am stupid for them, etc. , as if I don't have a head on my shoulders, and anyone other than them would define me as decent, good, etc. man ... Give me more advice, please. As well as some advice on how to continue the fact that we are supposedly separated ... I'm already so worried that even if the answer is in front of me, I can't see it, please give my advice :)