Hello, everyone! I am a 22-year-old boy and I study law in Plovdiv. My problems are as follows: I only have a few real friends - boys and girls, but for different reasons we are often separated. I'm an outsider. I've been cramped since I was a child, in 6th, 7th and 8th grade a lot of people misbehaved with me, and since the end of 2007 I have the so-called OCD - Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder or Fear Neurosis - the same diagnosis that Detective Monk has. from the series of the same name. All this prevents me from communicating, as well as following certain advice. It is difficult for me to have a conversation. In fact, with some people, it's easier to have a conversation than with my best friends, but with most it's terribly difficult. I visited psychiatrists and psychologists, went to a breathing course with a psychotherapist, but it didn't have much effect. Now I go to another psychotherapist and I hope there will be a result soon. But the bad thing is that my disease is both a little common and difficult to treat. It is difficult to fit into a team. In high school I had only one friend, and in the class I have 3, 4. A lot of bad things have happened in recent years. My grandfather passed away 4 years ago, my best friend's mother became seriously ill two years ago, she underwent a complicated operation, and since then she has been taking care of her, and more than a year ago I lost my father. Worst of all, it was a ridiculous fishing accident - his favorite pastime. And that made me gasp even more. I also have a hard time communicating with girls. So far I have not been with a girl and I have not had an intimate girlfriend. Nobody is looking for me or shaving me for anything. Many times I had to be alone. I also have bad physique - I am physically weak, I went to the gym, but it didn't work out - I just don't have a tone and I feel bad mentally. As positive things in myself I can point out that I am intelligent and curious - I liked history the most, I also went to the National Olympics and I write competently. Despite my problems, I take the exams. I blog, translate historical articles and songs from various genres from German and English. But nowadays few people appreciate this because they see if you have a muscular body and a lot of money. I have the feeling that many people despise me, it happens that taxi drivers treat me badly or certain people remove me from friends on Facebook without behaving badly. Could you help me with any guidelines on how to change things? I realize that I have to do the basics on my own, but I need support, people to support and help each other in difficult times, to be, as they say, brothers or siblings of no blood, and more soul. Thanks in advance.
Answers 12
You need more confidence. Don't feel worse or weaker than others and don't identify with movie characters - it's all about who you want to be.
Въпреки че нямам диагноза като твоята или някакви други психични заболявания, аз също общувам трудно. При мен проблемът е, че съм малко по-затворен и някак пазя дистанция от другите. Все едно изграждам преграда между мен и тях и не ги допускам близо до себе си. Съветът ми е да разширяваш социалните си контакти по всякакви начини, без да се притеснваш, че имаш такава диагноза. Щом с някои водиш разговор по-лесно, значи можеш да го направиш и с други хора. Увеличавай кръга на познатите си, а по този начин може да откриеш и приятели. За целта използвай интернет (социални мрежи, форуми, блогове и всичко останало, като все пак внимавай на какви хора попадаш в интернет и с какви се сближаваш), различни извънуниверситетски дейности (обучения, курсове и т. н. ), някакъв спорт ако ти харесва и други такива неща. Също използвай всяка възможност да контактуваш с колегите си и да завържеш някакъв разговор, дори и най-обикновен. В специалност Право като цяло има интелигентни хора, с които има какво да си кажете. Най-важното е да не си втълпяваш, че си по-различен от другите и това да ти създава притеснение. Това, че имаш няколко приятели пак е нещо, опитвай се да се сприятелиш с някои от техните приятели. За момичетата не е хубаво да те съветвам, защото и аз не съм имал връзка досега. Но рано или късно ще срещнеш някое момиче, с което да си паснете, просто не трябва да изпуснеш възможността да станете по-близки. М 22
"I have a feeling that a lot of people despise me, it happens that taxi drivers treat me badly or certain people remove me from friends on Facebook without behaving badly." Don't take it personally towards you! Such things happen to all of us.
As long as you think you're out of breath, that you have some disease, the more you think about what people think of you, what you look like (whether you have good physique or not, it's something that can always change as long as you want to). THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS TO GET AWAY, TO THINK POSITIVELY AND STOP THINKING SO MUCH AS OTHERS THINK ABOUT YOU, you live a life and almost the best years are spent worrying you, you still know ;)
I don't know if the moderators will allow, but I want to see your blog. Colleagues, is this personal data for you or not? I have no idea how much you look like Monk (excluding his detective skills, of course), but I want to get to know you as a person through your blog first (caution on the web comes first) and who knows? You may find a new friend. It will be a bonus for you if you are really intelligent - I'm tired of illiterate people and I want to write to a person who does not make 5 mistakes in a four-letter word. :) For women and love life in general, I can't help you much - I've noticed for a long time that I'm not good for a matchmaker. But you always have to start somewhere, right? And you're not too old - you still have time for women. You must first learn to live in peace with yourself, because the fairer sex has something like radar, and as soon as it senses that you have internal conflicts, it runs away from you. They do not want to solve other people's problems at such a level. Well, some women think differently, but they are a different type - those who get bored when you heal and look for another problem to save. With such you have no chance to be together until death do you part (there is one option for this to happen anyway, but I don't wish it on you);) M26
I also have OCD. I understand how hard it is for you, I advise you to find a better psychiatrist and ask him if he can help you through surgery. I also recommend the book "Obsessed Brain", a very useful read.
Discard these psychiatrists and psychologists. Only hot-boiled, they can do nothing. Then continue with fitness or other sports - in addition to giving you physics, it will increase your self-confidence. Having a lot of friends is greatly exaggerated. Lately, I have deliberately limited my contacts with other people and left only 1-2 with whom we have common interests. I'm tired of being preoccupied with nonsense and mundane things. More people are boring and it's not worth getting angry that you don't communicate with them. Push in career terms and you won't go wrong. Forget about all this nonsense for friends ala-bala. He studies hard, goes on internships with lawyers, such things are useful.
I don't understand you are studying law, but you yourself say that you do not fit into the situation and it is difficult to communicate. Why did you write it down ... how are you going to do it after it involves a lot of contacts, you have to be assertive and poisoned so to speak ....
THE AUTHOR Hello everyone and thank you for your attention and advice. Up to 5 - I didn't mean that I looked exactly like Monk, but that I had the same diagnosis as him. Up to 8 - for the concern of people - depends on the situation and the interlocutors. There are such situations and people in which and with whom I communicate freely. This is when they are broadly tailored or we have a common story. Recently, the course says that I have become more sociable than in previous years. On the 14th against the 15th of February we were at a party with a colleague and it went very well, I was, so to speak, one of the "stars of the evening". Or I met a colleague of a boy from Smolyan who is interested from a story like me, a very decent person and the conversation turned out.The bad thing is that it doesn't happen very often.One of the reasons I feel bad is that I didn't find and rarely find people with points of contact. They say that friendship is built on common interests, but I have seen examples where two people, say, listen to different music or watch different movies, but are best friends. So it is not always so. But still, as one girl says, it's best when things like interests and feelings are shared. I would like to ask the writers here - do you agree with the Law of Resonance - that such attracts similar?
To the author: The cause of OCD is repressed emotions related to bad things caused to you that you are not currently aware of. There are different types of violence - physical and emotional. The manifestations of OCD are the nasty emotions themselves, which, because you do not realize, you cannot fully experience, and they have their own life, their own separate existence. You kind of become obsessed with them. That is why you are afraid for no reason or rather you find logical reasons. I would advise you to dig deep inside you and be honest with the people in your closest circle, ie your family. The treatment / decision takes a very, very long time. This is a job that only you can do. The help of a psychologist is relative. In Gd, most psychologists use treatment systems with little effectiveness, because psychology is a method that is developing rapidly in the West, but here, as always, things are backwards. Psychology is not a static science, because emotions and their influence on everything are known more and more and it must be applied. The approaches used so far do not have much effect, as the power of the repressed is not properly viewed. Even if there were no OCD friends, they are hard to find and the reason is the same - few people are quite aware of themselves so you can count on them. Most people can't rely on themselves, so what's left for someone else to rely on. Search and you will find. Sometimes one person is enough. Life is an attempt at something. You have nothing to lose, relax and smile at life. Good luck meeting things in you. Soul because the power of the repressed is not properly viewed. Even if there were no OCD friends, they are hard to find and the reason is the same - few people are quite aware of themselves so you can count on them. Most people can't rely on themselves, so what's left for someone else to rely on. Search and you will find. Sometimes one person is enough. Life is an attempt at something. You have nothing to lose, relax and smile at life. Good luck meeting things in you. Soul because the power of the repressed is not properly viewed. Even if there were no OCD friends, they are hard to find and the reason is the same - few people are quite aware of themselves so you can count on them. Most people can't rely on themselves, so what's left for someone else to rely on. Search and you will find. Sometimes one person is enough. Life is an attempt at something. You have nothing to lose, relax and smile at life. Good luck meeting things in you. Soul relax and smile at life. Good luck meeting things in you. Soul relax and smile at life. Good luck meeting things in you. Soul
It is good that you have turned to a psychologist, but you also have to do your part to clear the accumulations that you keep in yourself on a subconscious level, so that in the end your work is fruitful. First, change the chip / program you put in your brain - self-pity, spirituality, dependence on other people's opinions, what others thought of them, and various similar repressive thoughts that only pull you down, stifle the expression of your spirit and destroy your emotional freedom. Remember that you are unique, perfect as a thought of nature, and no one has the right to suppress, manipulate, etc., to raise his ego above you. Do you feel such an attitude in someone - complete ignorance and do not care. You are a young intelligent person - clear from your consciousness as much as possible the past that oppresses you, emphasize your work, make a career, support yourself physically, play sports, go out in nature, have a hobby, meet people, develop communication, radiate security, travel, meditate (through meditation you can clear your mind of self-destructive thoughts). When you start to radiate self-confidence, and believe me, women feel these things very well, because of their highly developed intuition, they will start to tease you on their own. For women, security and stability are extremely important, and then hardly anyone under a magnifying glass will look at your small flaws. A confident man is more likeable, attractive and exciting than anyone else who has harmonious facial and body features but is insecure, depressed, disoriented, crushed or blown away. Look at yourself, be your best friend. It's nice to have a friend by your side, but when he has not yet met him, he should not despair, but simply be self-sufficient at that moment. Don't think that you will be happy through someone else. But your communication with other people close to your worldview will make you feel more understood and accepted. Wherever you are in any situation, if you are not in harmony with yourself, nothing in the world around you will make you happy and constructive for you. And remember you are valuable because of yourself and the opinion of others is not a factor for you, nor can it bring you down, because you know that they just are not aware that you are something much more than what they see. they are simply not well informed about you, and you have little interest in what they think ... When you start thinking and applying it in practice, you will be emotionally free and no dependence on anyone 's opinion can affect you.
The author Well I have tried different things, e.g. In May I went to yoga, also the Reiki technique, but they did not work. And sometimes I really despair and lose faith and hope. Hygienic activities such as going to the toilet, brushing teeth, spraying with deodorant - they are performed every day, and I can not get rid of these cleaning rituals that make my life hell. I want to ask - do you think the power of the subconscious helps - I read books on the subject - for example. of John Kehoe and,, Heal your life of Louise Hay and I began to imagine what I wanted as if it were already a reality -e.g. that I am confident that I have many friends and environment. I say to myself, "I'm healthy", "I'm fine", "Everything in my world is fine", "With God's help I can do everything". Can a positive attitude help?