Hello. My friend is 30 years old and I am 24. We have been together for 2 years and he is a cook and this is already driving me crazy. We understand each other, we love each other, we make a lot of compromises to each other, he treats me well, I have suffered a lot in previous relationships, they have cheated on me, they have used me, they have stolen money and jewelry from my home. He is sensible and does not do such things, but he is a mother's son for which he is to blame and his mother in my opinion. I live with my parents in a large apartment, they took it on loan about 5 years ago. I do not live separately, because I also pay part of the loan, I help them and I deserve to live after I give money. He lives in a house 1 hour away from the town where I live, that is, in a village with his brother, they both work for meager money and live there. Everyone has a room, they have a kitchen, bathroom, toilet, living room. Their parents live in a small apartment in another city. I offered him a year ago to live together for rent here in the city, but to this day he refuses because you had a house and if I wanted to go live there. Yes, but my job is in the city, there is traffic in the morning and I don't think I get up 2 hours before work to travel. Also, their parents pay the bills for the whole house, his brother is a whore and he doesn't care, and he constantly calls his mother to ask her to pay the bills because he can't handle the house, they had agreed with their brother. to share the money for bills, but when the time comes they both call their parents and their parents are paid. Their mother pays their bills all her life and they just live and they are both ready. My friend started telling me why we should live in a rented apartment when we could live in my room in our apartment, refusing to help with the loan and the bills, and my father firmly refused. Then he told me that we could live in his room in the village and his brother in the next one and I told him one thing that I can't get to work, secondly that his brother comes home at 2-3 at night and knocks, he shouts, I I can't live this way. It was perfectly appropriate to separate for accommodation, but he was not given money as you had a house and offered everyone to live with them and see each other only outside and go on weekends to visit. I love him, he treats me well, he always helps me when I'm not well, he is with me in difficult moments, he doesn't insult me, he doesn't cheat on me, he doesn't lie to me, meaning he is not a bad person, but he is learned at this age mom to help him. At his age, my father already had a child, home, wife, family. My father lived in a dormitory with a girl when he was 16 and supported her because she was 14. Meaning that he was fine and never took money from his parents, they are not rich. My mother also moved to work in another city than her at the age of 16. Neither is ready. I'm not either, because like I said, I help. The moment they tell me they don't need me and deal with the loan, or I decide to buy my home, I'm ready to move out. The point is that I do not intend to move out and pay rent and he will live with me without money. He told me that if I went out alone for rent, he would come to live with me so that I would not be alone, so that I would not be afraid if a man knocked on my door. I'm not scared at all, but the trick of not being alone is very convenient for him. My parents are against this relationship, they like it, because he is decent, but according to them they need a man who is either in a dormitory or has his home, because I already want to have a child and live with my husband, but to live in a village is not mine. I don't know what to do, honestly. Whatever I tell him, he knows his. When his electricity bill came, he called his mother. I have no intention if we both live, for the woman to pay for our electricity, it's a shame, and for me to pay for it, it seems too much for both of us. I love him, but this preparation of those years does not suit him, he is not 19 just graduated and he is wondering what to do. He does not want to study in order to change his profession to a paid one, he takes a penny and it was okay for him, he said. There is no development. I love him and I don't want to be separated, I want him to be independent, I want him to be taken in as a 30-year-old man, but if that doesn't happen, he's wasting my time. Advise me something.
Answers 21
They have also created a very wrong and wrong idea of life for you. Instead of moving out, you pay a loan. And really somehow it is not right for your friend to help with your loan, tomorrow you will part, for example, he will have given some money. For everything else I agree with you, such a person can not change him.
Now that he doesn't live with you, who pays your loan, why if he comes he has to pay, do you invite him to a place to stay. It is enough to pay for the food he will consume so that it is not a burden to your parents. What else will it burden you with? The baby does not come immediately, some time will pass again and this will not be an obstacle either. Your job is both itchy and painful. You decide what you want, your parents will not live with him. And if he agrees to come to live as a boiled son-in-law, or is a great benefactor, or is an accountant, you decide!
And what is his right, and even more good attitude towards you, that I did not understand? !! The absolute next, miserable, Ganyov complex and drone. In a few months, slapping will begin, why don't you want to be a hostage and a personal servant. Your mother is deeba and a stinking torte and Ganyov plague. How can you not notice what they cost? !!
I don't see a problem. Treat you well, everything is ok. What if he earns less. If you want a man you will pay :)
Look now, your father is right, but only to a certain extent. You don't need a man who has everything and has arranged his life 100%. After all, if you want to be a family, you will find an option with joint efforts to achieve everything you want. Apartments are bought and bills are paid, that's what I'm telling you. You can find a boy who lives with his parents and has no property, but if he is hardworking and wants to be independent, you will move out and pay rent / mortgage, bills and food. Not to mention that he will pay his share of the expenses while living with his parents. These things are normal. Your man has no ambition to study, because the money is enough for him, and it is enough for him, because he spends it only for himself and for food, he does not pay bills or anything. One becomes ambitious when the knife rests on a bone and he gets tired. Everyone to whom the boiler broke in January is aware that its independence has difficult financial moments. Wait for his mother to turn off the tap and watch a first-rate show, that's all I can tell you. A person who doesn't pay their own bills isn't exactly the best choice for a father of your children. I'm not telling you at all that you need a rich man or a workaholic. You just need a man who takes responsibility. It is right for a man to be able to look after himself in order to be able to start a family and look after his children. Do you think your friend will give money for diapers, buy a cot or something? You realize that at some point you will be a mother, you will not take much money. How will you manage then? Imagine it. You pay the rent yourself, you pay the bills yourself, you buy everything you need for the child. How far will your strength go? So far you are fine in this relationship, but you do not live together yet and looking at it will not happen because your friend is not ready to take such a step. From now on, I tell you that things between you will not work out in the long run. You become a couple, but not a family. You can't change a 30-year-old man's thinking and habits. As soon as you are irritated by his way of life and think about his future, imagine that you are married and have a child. If you have a hard time with it now and can barely come to terms with it, it can't happen. You can't change the thinking and habits of a 30-year-old man. As soon as you are irritated by his way of life and think about his future, imagine that you are married and have a child. If you have a hard time with it now and can barely come to terms with it, it can't happen. You can't change the thinking and habits of a 30-year-old man. As soon as you are irritated by his way of life and think about his future, imagine that you are married and have a child. If you have a hard time with it now and can barely come to terms with it, there is no way it will work.
Beat his jester. You have to assume that you are fat or not very pretty, that you make such compromises. Is that why the fear of infidelity?
To be honest, I didn't finish reading the whole scripture. Author, you don't love him. And you will not change it. Let him live his life as he understands it and you stay with yours until you find yourself and whatever else you want there with your parents.
Indeed, someone said your parents distorted your perception of things. The father lived alone at 16 with a girl at 14. Excuse him from being a gypsy? Once upon a time, what was now is inadequate to compare today with 50 years ago. In general, your whole story is a full house rentals back accounts houses villages apartments cheat. You're straight for a series like True Stories. However, I laughed the most about my whore brother .... At least he's a whore and he's through that business for everything. And to your question whether you have lost your time. So far, according to the reasoning, it is clear that you have lost 24 years, so you have nothing to worry about.
I want him like that, but another. Find another one, you don't want this one. He will not change, you will not be happy as he is. What to do, you do not fit. Better to understand it now than later with the child.
Not that anything, but at least 90, come on, not 90, but 70-75% of residents of large and small cities live in rented accommodation. Rarely will anyone be fucked so hard to afford an apartment in Sofia, for example, which costs 150,000 euros. If you are given 300 vouchers for an apartment, give them, but you cannot get a person with whom even a civil marriage will not pay your loan. I also agree with comment number 1 that there is a possibility that you will split up and he will have given his money to the wind. If a person wants to live in a house, let him live. And begging his parents for help doesn't make him a mother's son. If he makes money, no matter how little it is, then he works for it, not sitting at home and waiting for his mother to give it to him to live. It is normal for them to help him, but they are his parents and will remain so even after they die. Garo
There were comments in some of the topics where women said that they support their husbands and for them this is not a problem! They had an apartment, a car ... They were nice to them, they behaved well, they loved them, they didn't cheat on them, which they cared about a lot! They were fine that way. See for your man if this situation is not perceived as normal only for the current period, and not in principle! You are 24 and it is not too old to start a family, on the contrary it is early! Maybe he takes exactly that fact and that's why he's in no hurry. You've been together for two years, and that's not much. He himself may not be convinced enough that you are the woman he wants to start a family with !! - Have you thought about that? His age of 30 may also not be perceived as the limit for marriage, wife, family ... Which is true !!! Keep in mind that even if you don't keep being with him, much better parties than his will not be able to give you peace of mind - "he is not cheating on me", "he is faithful to me"! No, they will not be true to you, because already a mass of people break not one or two, but many brandies, and often;) Good luck
When you read the comments of the men, how normal it is for a mother to pay for their electricity at 35 and it becomes clear to you why Bulgarian women marry foreigners en masse! Author, you don't need such a parasite. Tear and throw!
But 3, the slapping has not started yet because they do not live together yet. When they start living together, they will get to know him much better :)
I absolutely agree with comment number 3, DROP IT IMMEDIATELY! He was a decent shout ... it really seems to you that you have never seen and been with a decent boy, there is nothing proper in him. At 30, his mother pays the bills for the house, he doesn't pay rent, so where is his money? It is clear that they are whores from the villages, and you think he is faithful to you. F21
To tell you the truth, my family and I wouldn't even think about taking a home loan and, for example, my friend paying off part of the loan. I just don't know what kind of people you are to come to your mind. If he lives with you - to pay his part of the bills and that's it. Neither the part that you expect him to pay one day will be his, nor anything. You are enslaved by a home and this is super wrong - yes, to pay a installment of these years for your home, in which to be alone, great. But yours enslave yourself and you with a long-term loan, you now have to start your own family, children, if you don't want to - to invest in anything. To have an independent life. And in reality you are at home and you are paying a loan installment. Quite a stupid situation. But do not expect you and your family that a man will pay your installments on your loan tomorrow. It's cheeky!
I do not agree with one thing: to give money for the loan! He is not obliged..you will split up tomorrow and he will have covered part of the loan..why? It is enough if he lives with you to give money for food and bills, of course it is completely normal. At 30 years old, if he is such a brat, he will not change and he is not ashamed of his parents to pay his bills. This is not a man but a mold. You are more of a man than him. When you have a child one day I do not see you with this person .Think. Let him live in the village with his brother and that's it. Find a real man with whom you can be safe and calm. He respects you ok, you love each other ok..if you live together the scandals will start and these things will be go if it is not taken in hand or if you can not stand it ha ha
You also want him to help with the loan - not bad, but you have to sign a contract on the basis of which he will acquire some part of this home, because he has paid installments. Hey, you are very cunning with your father, he was a girl - let's catch an amsalak to help us with the loan and then beat his penalty.
In the subject of the fat woman, women jumped on the man that he did not love her truly and unconditionally. Let them now tell the respected author that she must unconditionally love her friend as he is, otherwise he is a callous pig who does not truly love him.
Yeah Al that sounds pretty crap to me, Looks like BT aint for me either.
FROM THE AUTHOR People, wait a minute. You all clung to the same thing. As I read the comments, the same thing catches my eye. You all caught him paying our loan. Apparently you didn't understand me. So, our contribution is 1000 leva per month. I give 500 leva to ours, the other 500 they cover. THEY INSISTED that I not move out before I got a friend, so I live with them. They thought that it would be better to help them, instead of giving somewhere 600 leva for rent and filling someone else's pocket. Now that I have a relationship, my parents insist that he and I live ONLY TWO separately, either in a dormitory, or at their place, or that we take out a loan for an apartment. They DO NOT WANT us to live in us with them. I offered a compromise option with him to share 250 leva, that is my part, because anyway, if we go to an apartment, we will share the rent, which will not be BGN 500, but at least BGN 650-700. By no means did I want to pay for electricity, water, food, other consumables. His food is free from us. Separately, my father gives him BGN 100 for fuel every month because he wants to help him in a purely human way. In general, what you say that we want him to pay for our apartment is complete nonsense. At the moment we can't live in a flat because he doesn't have the money to share the rent, and I don't intend to pay the whole rent. About whether I'm in a serious relationship, we're engaged, we're not just a couple. Regarding the fact that someone said that he gave his money to the rural k. rvi, this is not the case at all. I know his surroundings, his friends, his colleagues too well and he is not like his brother. Yes, I don't find it right to ask my mother for money at this age and my opinion does not change. What you say will not give money to our child one day is also not true. Many times I tested him as if I had no money, but I wanted something, he always bought it, he never grumbled. You were wondering if he just doesn't really have the money or he's just comfortable and an accountant. It's not an account, because when we met, I went out for 5 leva a day, he didn't know where I lived, he even thought I was poor and stayed with me and then he saw that I lived normally. Eventually we sat down with him and decided to share my opinion, which I wrote here, and we both came to the conclusion that we should live together, but I will continue to help my family, but with less money. We found a place that is close to my job, in the interest of the truth it was a joke, they just told me that she was free, we would be able to share the money for her and he left them already. Our conversation was long and wide and he proved to me that he would change his financial situation for the better. I will not go into descriptions of how and exactly he proved it to me, but it was not a promise, but he showed me in black and white. That is, things will improve and from the summer only he is expected to pay the rent and I the bills. Everything fell into place very quickly as we sat down at the table. And if you think that these are his empty words to enchant me and sit with him, it is not so. I'm not trusting. I always want the words with evidence. You made me want to pay for my apartment, which is not true. Now we will live together and things will work out. The topic can be considered CLOSED. FROM THE AUTHOR we will be able to share the money for her and he has already moved out of it. Our conversation was long and wide and he proved to me that he would change his financial situation for the better. I will not go into descriptions of how and exactly he proved it to me, but it was not a promise, but he showed me in black and white. That is, things will improve and from the summer only he is expected to pay the rent and I the bills. Everything fell into place very quickly as we sat down at the table. And if you think that these are his empty words to enchant me and sit with him, it is not so. I'm not trusting. I always want the words with evidence. You made me want to pay for my apartment, which is not true. Now we will live together and things will work out. The topic can be considered CLOSED. FROM THE AUTHOR we will be able to share the money for her and he has already moved out of it. Our conversation was long and wide and he proved to me that he would change his financial situation for the better. I will not go into descriptions of how and exactly he proved it to me, but it was not a promise, but he showed me in black and white. That is, things will improve and from the summer only he is expected to pay the rent and I the bills. Everything fell into place very quickly as we sat down at the table. And if you think that these are his empty words to enchant me and sit with him, it is not so. I'm not trusting. I always want the words with evidence. You made me want to pay for my apartment, which is not true. Now we will live together and things will work out. The topic can be considered FINISHED. FROM THE AUTHOR that it will change its financial situation for the better. I will not go into descriptions of how and exactly he proved it to me, but it was not a promise, but he showed me in black and white. That is, things will improve and from the summer only he is expected to pay the rent and I the bills. Everything fell into place very quickly as we sat down at the table. And if you think that these are his empty words to enchant me and sit with him, it is not so. I'm not trusting. I always want the words with evidence. You made me want to pay for my apartment, which is not true. Now we will live together and things will work out. The topic can be considered FINISHED. FROM THE AUTHOR that it will change its financial situation for the better. I will not go into descriptions of how and exactly he proved it to me, but it was not a promise, but he showed me in black and white. That is, things will improve and from the summer only he is expected to pay the rent and I the bills. Everything fell into place very quickly as we sat down at the table. And if you think that these are his empty words to enchant me and sit with him, it is not so. I'm not trusting. I always want the words with evidence. You made me want to pay for my apartment, which is not true. Now we will live together and things will work out. The topic can be considered FINISHED. FROM THE AUTHOR That is, things will improve and from the summer only he is expected to pay the rent and I the bills. Everything fell into place very quickly as we sat down at the table. And if you think that these are his empty words to enchant me and sit with him, it is not so. I'm not trusting. I always want the words with evidence. You made me want to pay for my apartment, which is not true. Now we will live together and things will work out. The topic can be considered FINISHED. FROM THE AUTHOR That is, things will improve and from the summer only he is expected to pay the rent and I the bills. Everything fell into place very quickly as we sat down at the table. And if you think that these are his empty words to enchant me and sit with him, it is not so. I'm not trusting. I always want the words with evidence. You made me want to pay for my apartment, which is not true. Now we will live together and things will work out. The topic can be considered FINISHED. FROM THE AUTHOR The topic can be considered FINISHED. FROM THE AUTHOR The topic can be considered FINISHED. FROM THE AUTHOR
Author, don't get attached to the comments of complex men? I will tell you only one thing - imagine having children from this person. Where will they live and how will you feed them? By answering these questions, you will be able to decide what to do. And for your man it is best to find a girl from his village, instead of wasting your time.