Hello This is a story about loneliness. I'm 24 years old. I have lived without love for exactly that many years. I was raised by my parents, but parenting turned out to be a very strong word. I don't feel loved and they don't care what happens to me. The only thing that matters to them is not to cause them problems and not to hinder them from living their lives. When I was little I told myself that love would come. I believed that I too could be loved, if not by my parents, then at least by a boy. During high school, I always hoped something would happen. I'm not weird, ugly or uncommunicative, but for these 5 years I only had 1 short tease, which didn't even lead to a date. I said to myself, "Well, it could be different at university." Alas. For 4 years I have had exactly 4 so far to men - 1 kiss in a drunken state and 0 meetings. I am very proud. I do not ask or persecute anyone to be with me. I soon met a boy. We liked each other and went out on a date - the first date in my life. It went smoothly and it was fun. We finally kissed. I did not complain, I did not say that I was looking for a relationship, I did not comment that this was my first meeting. Everything seemed to be correct, but for 5-6 days he has not been looking for me at all. I don't want to be annoying and look for him. At the meeting, he mentioned spontaneously that we should go to another place together another time. I was left with the impression that there is chemistry and we will see each other again. He's busy with university and work, but he didn't write about chat at all. I'm wondering if he's waiting for time to pass, or he'll write with a plan of what to do on a second date, or he's just not interested. It's hard for me to accept the last option because it gave me a hell of a lot of signals, but I'm already desperate. I have the feeling that I will never succeed in love. I suffer when I watch couples. I want to love and be loved. Is it that much?
Answers 8
He doesn't like you enough to chat with you, let alone go out on dates. This is the truth. Forget it. It's not worth it. And you can miss someone who really likes you.
Well, don't be so proud. Write to him, the world will not end with this. Maybe he is waiting for you :) Otherwise you will be wondering for a long time why it didn't work out.
You were so worried about being annoying that you went to the other extreme. You're probably cold in the eyes of the guys you've been in a relationship with. You can't help but look for them and take the initiative. People can't read minds, so they judge by actions. Your actions are passive. You will stand and wait for the other to take a step towards you, and you will eventually follow him cautiously. It is normal that they do not look for you after a meeting. You are not looking for them either. Would you look for a man who doesn't seem interested in you and doesn't make any effort to win you over? Men are not that complicated at all. They are a bit like lions, you have to scratch their mane and allow them to feel strong. You neither do one nor do the other. The average man will assume that you don't care about him, that you don't like him, that you are withdrawn / cold and will stop investing time and feelings in you. Send 1 message, offer one exit, enough to feel the soil. If you are denied, the hint is clear. If they accept, the meeting will probably be repeated. Human relations are a two-way process.
Hi, your story is very similar to mine. But a lot of time has passed since the meeting and I no longer keep in touch with him. There were indications that he was interested. But then he backed away. We wrote to each other in common afterwards, but neither of us said a word about another meeting, nothing specific. We talked a lot before. After the meeting he answered me somewhat sluggishly. From common acquaintances I learned that he was still alone. I'm always curious why it happened, you know, you better know. For a long time I thought that I might have made an inappropriate comment, that he didn't understand me ... that it was my fault. Or the option of not physically liking him. We are human, everything happens and I would accept it. He himself had said that words were not needed, but actions, but there were none. And I, like you, didn't want to be annoying anymore. And we don't write to each other anymore, but I miss him. My advice is to send him a message. I didn't do it and I'm sorry. That is, to ask him directly, for example, "Hello, I had a good time seeing you. Do you want to drink coffee again or attend an event? ”. He may be busy, but if he wants he will always come up with something or offer, for example, after a while. This way you show your interest and you will know what he thinks. He may refuse you, you will be aware again and you will move forward without any doubts and say to yourself "What if ...". I know that some men are deliberately not looking to arouse more interest, but for me these are children's toys. I hope it's not that type. Better the cards found on the table and whatever happens :) Do you want to drink coffee again or attend an event? ”. He may be busy, but if he wants he will always come up with something or offer, for example, after a while. This way you show your interest and you will know what he thinks. He may refuse you, you will be aware again and you will move forward without any doubts and say to yourself "What if ...". I know that some men are deliberately not looking to arouse more interest, but for me these are children's toys. I hope it's not that type. Better the cards found on the table and whatever happens :) Do you want to drink coffee again or attend an event? ”. He may be busy, but if he wants he will always come up with something or offer, for example, after a while. This way you show your interest and you will know what he thinks. He may refuse you, you will be aware again and you will move forward without any doubts and say to yourself "What if ...". I know that some men are deliberately not looking to arouse more interest, but for me these are children's toys. I hope it's not that type. Better the cards found on the table and whatever happens :) but these are children's toys for me. I hope it's not that type. Better the cards found on the table and whatever happens :) but these are children's toys for me. I hope it's not that type. Better the cards found on the table and whatever happens :)
Huh, you're waiting for the man to finish everything, it won't happen. You want them to put too much effort on you and you stay away, it won't happen again. The author can continue to "wait" for love for another 50 years and finally understand that it will never come. If a man shows interest, makes a gesture, it does not mean that he is madly in love and ready for anything and will pursue you, because that's what you obviously think, noooo ... It means that he likes you as much as a good movie and if you do not move your ass to develop the relationship he will lose interest and stop looking for you.
Abe girl - you sound 15. Write to him and invite him somewhere - what are you waiting for as a Victorian virgin? He wrote a whole novel about how unhappy you are because you don't get what you want, and you don't think that in this life no one owes you and you have to fight to achieve your goals. Horror - I'm a woman, but such indecisive behavior would irritate me seriously. You probably looked cold and the boy thought you weren't interested in him.
You can look for it. Once almost a week has passed and no contact - you are not a priority. You can ask him what's going on and if something's going on at all, at least you'll know, not wonder. There are no busy people, there are priorities. Nowadays you can connect with one person in at least 4 ways, it's not like there's no way. Another thing is that even the busiest person will find at least 5-10 minutes to ask how you are. She draws her own conclusions. I advise you to look for it and at least not to wonder why and what. Not to be impudent, but to ask him how he is and if he wants to see you again. It will become clear whether he communicates with you out of politeness or has an interest.
I remember one such outing with a girl. Now that I think about it, she was probably in the same mental state as you, but then I took it differently. In short - we went to a restaurant, she was tight, the conversation was difficult, I applied all my communication skills but without mutual support, you know ... I sent her to them, kissed her, she joined the event, but when I slid my hand to my chest her, her hand stopped me. I wished her good night and never called again.