For several months I was completely desperate and depressed. My husband wants us to live with the little child in a city forgotten by God. I have been out of work for a long time. We came from a big city where I worked as an economist. After two years of desperate attempts to find a job in this unfamiliar place, I was forced to work as a janitor ... and I found this job with connections ... I cry every day on my way to work because I have to humiliatingly grab a broom. .... Somehow my colleagues are wondering if I'm not a freak with this education in such a position ... Maybe I wouldn't be angry that I'm doing this if I hadn't been deprived of years for this diploma, if I had a major. .. I have been working here for half a year now, but it started to come to me a lot. I want to leave and stay unemployed for the rest of my life. And my husband doesn't understand and doesn't want us to leave this damn city for anything in the world. What the hell to do
Answers 23
If your husband does not understand you and does not comply with you - who? Ask yourself this question first.
You run, you save yourself, come to Sofia and you will become a saleswoman greetings ... ") Next
And what does your husband want to do in "this damn city"? !! If I were you, I would stay in the big city.
Leave your husband and start working in your specialty, and without that your husband, in order to force you to work, I don't believe he cares much for you. Collect luggage, throw the broom, take your child and come dear headwind :) life is one do not be humiliated be it for the father of your child;) Good luck
Well, make him respect your opinion .. I don't know why he humiliates you like that .. Just leave and tell him that you won't work, that's not what you studied. You made a compromise and went to a small town where you can't find a suitable job, then let him find you now, if not to support you .... Why did you sacrifice yourself like that? What does he do? Why did you move?
Author: Thank you for the comments. It is difficult in small towns to find a decent job and some run away from them like from sinking ships. / Like many people left our country /. It is even more difficult without any support. Yes, and you are alone against the choice to work a bad job, but to have even a little financial independence or to run into the unknown with a little man in your arms. And in what sense can the courage-courage to grit your teeth every day and fight the situation or the courage to escape the situation be interpreted?
How humiliating it was to catch the broom, right .... glad that at least you have a job, there are so many people who have not worked for years and why ... because they can not find a job ... I have friends who are also graduates, and now most are saleswomen in clothing stores, some are even unemployed ... so in this damn country there is no realization, so if you want to have 5 graduates. And what -I also graduated in medicine-now I'm out of a job, do you know why-because they want my experience, where to get this experience .... I was forced to look for a job everywhere ... but no, I would even work as a cleaner , thank God my parents support me, but if it weren't for them, I wouldn't care what I do, because I have no choice ...
Author: Yes / you are right №7 that there is no humiliating work. Every job in itself is worthy, as long as it is not to the detriment of others. But why does a person experience thousands of deprivations in order to receive a good education and it is considered that anyone capable in his field is forced to grit his teeth and for how long? To be young and not able to realize, to reconcile and maybe even degrade.
Until 7 / I'm not the author / And that's what I said before I became a cleaner and understood what it means to put your dignity and pride under your sole. While I was cleaning the kenefs all over the shit, my colleagues and the boss were drinking coffee together on vacation and talking sweet talk while I smelled the smell. I wouldn't work as a cleaner again, and I was ready for anything. No, no, I prefer to work as a builder on a construction site to lay bricks / not that they will take me /.
In general, I agree with 1 and 4 - if your husband does not understand and support you, what do we do? If he's fine in the "damn city", doesn't he care what happens to you? And if not - what do you really do together? That's right, 1 tells you to think about it.
Author: Thanks for understanding №9. Thank God that my boss is very understanding and does not care at all what I do and where I am, whether I wash the kenef and how many cobwebs there were / by the way, I am more inclined to create clutter than cleanliness /. Otherwise it would be even harder to endure ... But I still grit my teeth when I walk with a broom and a rag, throw away dirty toilet paper, wash windows and coffee cups ... Sometimes I feel like I'm a crazy idiot and I get depressed with I don't work for days, but I hang out somewhere with coffee, I'm even intentionally late for work or I go somewhere, at least they get tired of me and get rid of me. The point is that a lower-skilled position is a serious emotional ordeal. To fall from a higher ... and to have the strength to stand up again. In such a situation one feels uncomfortable, insecure and unmotivated. On top of all that, I wonder how I will find a more decent job later on, as my work as a Cleaner will be wise in my employment record as marked. I realize that I have made too much compromise in accepting this job, and I am terribly sorry that I accepted it. When they gave me the employment contract, which said cleaner, I cried for days ... and I had to break it even then. Why - because over time I got used to this position and I grumble less and less. / Like the domestication of wild horses is /. I realize that the pain is dull and somehow I live resignedly ... And it's awful to reconcile. Then a person seems to lose his strength to fight, drifts, does not develop and does not think about his future. But for now I have nowhere to go. If I leave I will sit at home all day and I will not be able to buy some pants ... I will be financially dependent. If I run away from my husband, I will have nowhere to go with the little one. But my confused family relationships are off topic now. And so now I fall into despair and hopelessness, now into nepotism, now into such a deadly reconciliation. Maybe important decisions really need to take longer to be well thought out before they are made. So far, every decision I have made has taken me literally and figuratively.
What economic specialty did you graduate from?
Author: to №10 Economics of Trade
Author, just don't despair. You will find a job, you will find one, but not in that place. If I were you, I would never listen to my husband and sacrifice myself for him. If you didn't have a child, then everything would be easier. Now I do not know what exactly to advise you. And I don't know how good all this is for the child. You just take drastic measures and decisions, don't go with the flow. When you do, things will certainly get a little easier. Otherwise, don't expect someone who hasn't been through to understand you. I'm squeezing your thumbs. Success! number 9
Honey, I completely understand you. So am I. I am 41 years old with secondary economic and higher law. I have never worked in my professions, because law turned out to be a profession for someone's liaisons, tensioners and people, and for accounting - because in the presence of graduate accountants who will take me. I worked in an office as a secretary and technical assistant for fifteen years, but I was laid off. And now I'm a saleswoman in a grocery store. Whoever wants to talk is insulting. You studied, you fought, and in the end, after 40, you don't even become an office. And this in one of the big cities in Bulgaria. I hope you find it a little easier when you see that there are others like you.
Wow boy .. and all this for 1 man .. Who is Brad Pitt? (Well, in order for a woman as beautiful as Angelina to be with him, he would have to make a lot of compromises with himself ... something obviously uncharacteristic of your beauty). Just don't tell me: so that the child is not without a father ... I am without a father and I have never lived with him and I am the happiest person on this earth because of this fact ... they have deprived me of so many problems !!! !! Of course, I don't know everything about the situation you are in, but I would get out of there and try to start over. Borrow money if necessary so that you can spend the first months in the bigger city, but I don't understand what you're doing there .. maybe we don't know everything .. I don't know which is more humiliating and which affects the psyche more: to be financially dependent (which is a complete horror) or to be a cleaner, but in my opinion your place is neither in the position of one nor the other! Success!
Thank you all! I really got a little courage reading your comments.
Hello. And I am of the opinion that there is no humiliating work. I supported myself as a student as a cleaner. I also cleaned toilets, but I had bread and a roof over my head. But after I graduated I work in my specialty. Look for another job because your resume is already ruined. PS I live and work in a small town in this "stupid" country and I live very well and I have a very good job. Who does not like the city, the country - there are flights, planes, trains ...
A question to the author: And what is your husband doing in "this damn city"? What does he do? If he wants to live there so much, he should have a good reason for it - for example, to make a living for his family. In this case, it should not make you (and you have to) work as a cleaner. I have nothing against working as a cleaner, I personally worked a lot as a cleaner during my student years in Germany, and now I work in my specialty. You have made a sacrifice to give up your job in the larger city. In the name of the family, I guess, to be together. But why doesn't he appreciate that gesture?
The author to №19: My husband generally does not appreciate anything, no matter what I do. He shows no understanding for me, even more sympathy, and he has never shown any. He does not want me to leave my job, although we have modest means without having to work. In general, a combination of three in one - rotten city, even more rotten work and even more ... rotten family relationships. Unfortunately, there is no way or where to escape with the child for now.
From 19 to the author: three in one, unexpectedly good combination! So the problem is not that you are a cleaner with a university degree, but that you have come across a man who pushes you down in your professional (and maybe personal) life. Having made you a child, and come on, he doesn't need to comply with you, you leave your good job. In what age do we live? We MUST and deserve to have equal partners next to us, not pastures. That is why I will be sitting in Germany, where women are not voiceless letters, even their chancellor is a woman. And you, darling, think carefully about what you want to do with your life from now on. The child will grow up one day, and your CV and old age will no longer allow you to find a decent job. And you will sit in that village like a cuckoo. If I were you, I would think very deeply about how I want my life to go on.
18 silly comment. Of course, as a student there is no shameful job. But then you work to support yourself as you study and develop in some way in the hope that when you graduate, everything will be fine. You do it for the cause. But to work as a cleaner and to be satisfied and not want anything more for yourself - that's why we talk. Otherwise, it is very clear that as a student, things are different.
I am so sorry for the 4th comment that it is more than clear to me that a woman wrote it. That's why we're in this hall! Don't you expect it to work for BGN 1,000 per month?