Hello! I have to share, otherwise I will explode. For 4 months now I have been dreaming of the same person, in different situations. Here, I wake up again, after the next night I dreamed of him and the dream ended again with a kiss between us. Sometimes I dream that he hugs me from behind, I turn around and we kiss again, other times he tells me about his feelings ... All is well, if he was not my husband's brother, TO MY HUSBAND FOR GOD !!! We have been married for 4 years, things are not going well, but we have a child and we tolerate each other. Do we love each other? Emmy, draw your own conclusions. For Valentine's Day, he went out and drank the money for "our dinner" anyway ... I'll be back 4 years ago. We were a big company, I had a 6 month relationship with a boy I would call X, so I met my brother-in-law (I will call him C to make it easier for me) who had come from abroad. Since then, my problems with X started, he was terribly jealous of C, and he said it to everyone. He even wrote to me from the profile of C, after one of our quarrels, to go out and the like, I naturally refused !! But if I have to be honest with myself and with you, I really wanted to. In the end, X and I broke up because our company was in a cafe and I went without him, and C was there, and that was an excuse, I later found out about his other relationship. But there was another obstacle, my best friend was crazy about him (whoever he was, he is a very handsome, tall and slender man) and I decided not to risk our friendship. The night I met my future husband was strange. He hugged me, lifted me, turned me around, kissed me on the cheek. Then his brother came and he introduced us, telling me that this was the man for me. Prompted by my girlfriend how she will be with C and I with his brother, I started a relationship with someone I had no feelings for. Suddenly C's attitude changed, before that he protected me, behaved well, then started insulting me when his brother was not around, he told me that he was with the other and all sorts of things. And you know those moments of insanity when we are desperate, everything is gray and we are in a black hole, and then when we pay off we ask ourselves "What did I do ?!" Well, I was obviously at such a moment when I said "YES" to the man we !!! And nowadays, I get along very well with all my family members except my husband. I will briefly tell you how the relationship with my brother-in-law continued. We respect each other very much, he is always on my side, he will always compliment me, he will notice something new. He fought with his brother to protect me from one of our quarrels. He's in a relationship with a girl now, and calls her by my name, constantly and has been with her for a long time. I don't know how to interpret everything, I only know that I was too faithful a friend and too desperate a girl. I want advice on how to stop dreams ?? They confuse my brain and give me back old thrills.
Answers 18
Dreams are the fruit of the subconscious, so you can't control them. Obviously you will have to learn to live with them, they will stop someday. Rather, he turned his attention to real life. I hope you learned a lesson from this whole story. Either way, none of us can go back in time, but at least we learn from our mistakes.
We must always follow our hearts.
We live a life, do what you feel is right .. first you and your choice then everything else;)
I don't know how it will sound to you, but why don't you take a risk and admit everything to your brother-in-law? After all, what do you lose, a person who obviously doesn't love you very much. Sometimes we have to take risks, life is a waste of time. Tell him, if he doesn't answer you in some way, at least he will be relieved, for such a man as you describe you risk !! Yes, it is clear that you have a child, but this child will one day grow up and understand you !! I know that was not your question, but I decided to share with you the impression I was left with. And if you don't want to do it, you just have to stop thinking about it, and even if you avoided it that way, your dreams will go away, but you will always live unhappy with your current husband.
Like what? To reveal my feelings?
The author: yes, I thought about it, but I don't like it. How do you think I think he has something to do with me or loves me as a sister? I commented on it with my mother, she took up the topic herself, she was watching us and he was too worried about me. He told me "I don't think you're just his daughter-in-law." I also told my best friend, the one I gave up for, and she told me "Why were you in a hurry, you could have been with him and he must have had something to do with you" to say it now, but then she wouldn't look at me anymore. How do I challenge him so that if he has something to tell me? Off, I'm so grateful to you, I can't believe I was expecting to be lynched. And as for my husband, he reaches out to me and insults me, goes out all the time, lies to me ... He seems to be sitting with him because of the child, otherwise he condemns me to loneliness, I don't know if that throws me even more towards the other.
My advice is to be good people and not succumb to the tempter of souls. Go to church.
Read a little while living with someone for the sake of the child, what the consequences are and how you cripple him. You too. Tomorrow your child will repeat what he saw and felt at home, because in his mind it is NORMAL.
12, the side is easy to give a mind without being on your head. And why do you think that when parents are separated, the consequences are more pleasant?
I'm sure you have good reasons to put up with this situation, but find the strength and try to be happy. There is no point in leading this unhappy life for you. Only from the story it becomes clear that you do not love your husband and you are not in your place, at least try to break up with him. If not for yourself, then at least for your child .... this is my advice, I wish you success!
Take a risk! Either way, it's time to break up with your husband. Be brave! G30
13, it is less evil for the parents to be separated than for the child to be in an unhealthy family environment. We all know the ideal scenario. But where there is none, we have to choose. And yes - it's easy! Not just on the side! I speak from experience!
16, but your experience is not a universal recipe, because mine shows the opposite. And where? Who's right now, huh? Stop putting your whole life within your experience, because each case is different. And no matter how many units you put on me and no matter how many fives you put on yourself, this is a fact. Everyone knows themselves.
She didn't know what was going on, she was in a hole, she said "yes" out of nowhere ... what about taking some responsibility for your life, huh? And you bore him a child. To a man you don't seem to like. In my opinion, you missed the opportunity to be with his brother a long time ago, and most likely you even idealized the situation because of a boring life in general. Forget his brother and try to make your life better with your husband. Diversify your life with more experiences, from time to time watch and be with your husband and child.
# 13, There is no formula that works for everyone. But I share with you the experience of the child in such a situation. Things have gotten much better since they broke up. Separation does not mean abandoning your child and not seeing him often. Unfortunately, the years spent not only in quarrels, but also in showing a totally unhealthy relationship, radically affected my view of human relationships. Relationships just for the sake of relationships, children or those without reciprocity are a nightmare for everyone. But the knowledge of this came at a high price, and I keep wondering if they had decided in time how different my life would be now.
17, depends on what you mean by an unhealthy family environment. 16
19, no formula, yes. And that's what I said. Otherwise, my experience is that thanks to the fact that we stayed together only because of the child, eventually our relationship was reborn. But we have never quarreled or made scandals. So everything is "according to depends". 20, namely - "depends". There is no universal advice as a mandatory separation or non-separation. Each case is for itself.
21, Well, that's exactly what I'm saying. It is one thing to have a discrepancy, it is another to have an unhealthy family environment such as fighting, mental harassment, strong and extreme addiction to drugs, alcohol and gambling, etc. And here the author mentions such things (harassment, not addictions). Otherwise, the most normal thing is to have periods of interest and distance. But this is NOT an unhealthy family environment. And it's great to rekindle the relationship after such periods. In such cases, I would even appeal to work on the relationship. But if there is physical and / or mental harassment, that's different. It is for these cases that I say that it is better for the parents to be separated, but for the situation to be calm. This from my point of view, of course. There are people who prefer everything but separation. Everyone decides. 16