I have already tried to send this story, but no one approves it, please the editors of the site to publish it, because there are no similar topics on the Internet. Hello people, I am a 16-year-old girl and my boyfriend is 3 years older than me. As you understand by the title, his ex-girlfriend has not been with us for a long time. My heart breaks that he has lost a man he loves from an accident and my heart breaks for the girl - I would not wish it on my worst enemy. Their relationship was 2 years and in the end I think that separated them. It's been a while (a year or so) and we met and it's our fifth month. He has told me many times that he loves me very much and that he would do anything for me and I believe him, I think so. There's not a day that I don't think about whether he'll always love her and whether she'll always be above me, I really don't want to sound so naive and nasty, but just believe me if you were in my place and you would. I feel that he will always love her more, that he always thinks of her, which is normal to look at from the side, but not when you are in a relationship where the other has suffered because of it. She doesn't allow me to raise the topic of it, and honestly I wouldn't. It struck me that once or twice when we were arguing, he pointed out how much he was hurt by it (and we didn't even talk about it, we were arguing about our relationship, our affairs) and how I hurt him more. No people, I don't play tricks on him, I don't flirt with other guys, I don't cheat, I don't even date other guys until he recently went out in a company with girls. He's the only boy in my heart, and I don't know how cliché it sounds to a 16-year-old girl, but it really is. People please if you know someone who has been through this or if you have been through it PLEASE FOR ADVICE. It's really not a pleasant feeling, and I don't think that even if we do 5 years he will stop thinking about her, he doesn't say it but I just see it and feel it. I love him and I want to be with him, but it's just always in my head. Please help me.
Answers 8
The story is from many years ago (for example 20), but I knew a girl whose boyfriend had shot him in a mafia shootout. For 3 years she was frozen or scalded, she did not communicate with people, she was closed in on herself. Any attempt to communicate with her was unsuccessful. He answered with a half-mouth, a half-smile. A nightmare! Then we lost touch. Sorry to tell you. The case is not like yours, but sometimes a person is a little relieved to hear that there is worse than his own. I really can't imagine what it's like to love a person who dies suddenly - it's probably the biggest possible Hell in all universes and dimensions.
Darling, I don't think you have anything to worry about and put unnecessary stress on your relationship. It is quite normal to remember her and think about her. However, one does not forget someone whom one has loved and lost. He's with you now. He chose you. He loves you and wants to be with you. Don't think about who was before you or who might be after you, because that doesn't matter. Love yourself and enjoy your love. :) Greetings! D. Ch
Dear, if he is with you and shows you that he cares for you, that he loves and respects you, I see no point in digging into his wounds. He doesn't want to talk about it because it's obviously a big trauma for him. Being with you means that she is trying to move on with her life, and probably the deceased would want just that. If you dig into his wounds and constantly ask him if you still love her, you will only take him away from you. If, after all, you are so confused inside, but delicately, and if you fail to come to terms with the situation, it is best to separate!
The moderators rightly did not allow you the topic. It is so simple and insignificant that it is not worth wasting time with it. Two years ago, when your boyfriend's relationship began, he was still a child, and the girl he was with was still a small child. What kind of love are you talking about, what kind of love !? They were childishly attached, everyone went through such a period. Rather, they are sympathies, but not love. True love can be spoken of when a person matures, that is, when he comes of age. Instead of writing on forums, it is better to visit a psychologist and tell him what is bothering you. Only he will help you, here you are just wasting time, yours and ours.
Dear girl, my opinion is similar to that of number 4. I also think it was a child's attachment and now the feeling of something unfinished remains. I only know a couple who have been together since 7th or 8th grade and got married and have a baby already, but most of them are children's stories and it is temporary because they still know the other sex and still understand what they like. Don't think about his past, give him a chance, and if he doesn't, there are other boys, don't get obsessed.
Be jealous of living girls. He will always love her in his own way, because they have not lived through their relationship in their lifetime, but that does not mean that he will never fall in love. You are still young, everything is experienced at this age.
From the author: Thanks for the comments. To comment number 3 - I do not raise the topic, I never raised it, and he did not ask about it and I did not ask if he loves more or more. These are just my thoughts in my head :)
The surest way for someone to stay in your heart forever is to be ripped out of your life. There is no separation, no alienation, no cooling of feelings - one moment this person occupies a significant place in your life and the next he simply does not. In broken relationships, one always asks, "Where did I go wrong, what should I have done differently, would it have happened otherwise?", While, as number 6 said, it remains unexperienced, and remains forever inside you. You will always love this person somewhere inside your heart, after a while it is not so intense anymore, you do not think about it constantly, the pain subsides, but you carry your love in you.