Hello!!! Once I get here, then the problem seems to have no solution. I will start from the beginning. My husband and I (not officially, but I consider him my husband) have been together for almost 3 years. We met abroad. We are both Bulgarians. The point is that things did not go well for us for the first 2 years and we decided to change the country with the help of his father. My mother-in-law is a wonderful person, but unfortunately they separated from his father when their son was born. His father decided to help us go to the country where he stayed. Everything is wonderful. I was terribly positive that we would not spend the holidays alone. We will have Christmas, Easter and so on. Yes but no!! The idea was to accept us for one or two weeks until they found us accommodation and a job. So we have the job. We can't move out because you have to have an internship in the country to rent an apartment and we are forced to sit down. The stepmother's problem is. Everything was right until I decided to cook something. They were absolutely all out and I decided to return the gesture to the woman as I was cooking that day. Of course, everyone has a different way to prepare each dish.
So his father told me that if I cooked him such a meal again, he would pour it on my head. I didn't make it a problem, on the contrary I decided that there was no point in me cooking because they didn't like it and I would clean it. And here is the story of Cinderella, but her father is here. My stepmother raised a scandal that only she cooks, and I cleaned only so that his father could see me cleaning !!! This happens within two weeks. Personally, if I am a housewife, I will be ashamed to make a 23-year-old girl clean my house. In general, I judge by my family. My mother will be proud that she cooks and people eat from her plate. I would never let my brother's boyfriend rub her kirt out of the bathroom (not that I did it to please myself, but because I hate it). But the woman is anxious to cook for her stepson and his wife (given that so far she has only cooked lentils, chicken with rice and pasta with tomato sauce). I made up the cobwebs, the front door because I soiled my bag when I unlocked it, and many other things that were just crazy for my eyes and my hands. After the remark, I decided to cook the next morning. I took out my chicken, cut it and she came and put it to boil !! I just asked her what to cut for her because I saw that she wanted to cook and then she told me I just wanted you to help me. So this is swallowed. In the evening I go downstairs to make sandwiches for my husband for work.
She greets me with the question (won't you make sandwiches) and goes to my husband and asks him how many sandwiches to make for him. And before that she did it to her husband and her son. I go to get things out of the fridge and she starts taking them and cutting and making them. I went straight to the bathroom and roared. But the father is not left in the background. Like any woman, I cat my husband (let's have dinner, let's go to bed, let's have breakfast). While his father was of the opinion that the woman had no right to tell the man what to do. As soon as the man grits his teeth, the woman falls silent. Yes, but I try to explain to them that this is how we create habits to teach our children in the future. I do not know what to do. I feel that things will escalate, and I do not want to be in a bad relationship with his family. What to do? I know that if we grit our teeth for a while we will be in our home, but until that moment comes I have to find a solution!
Answers 23
It is not right to behave like that, but you are in their home. If you don't want that attitude, get out! Talk to your husband about it.
It just doesn't do anything. Let that woman cook and clean. If no one made you, why do you want so much. There are women who would be happy if they didn't have to be hosts for a while.
Pack your bags and you're gone. The solution to understanding is not to live under one roof. Export now until you have no children and no marriage. If he loves you, he will stand up for you.
"My mother will be proud that she cooks and people eat from her plate." Ah, will she be proud that she has an illiterate daughter?
4, are you so petty? Do not sprinkle malice, but do more useful things. The author wants advice, here you start spelling. She wrote quickly because her time was limited. This sentence tells me that you have no children and you are wondering how to pour out your negativity. Come on, if you like, keep a good tone and don't be so limited.
In my opinion, you are not judging the situation correctly. You went to someone else's house. This woman has nothing to do with you and your boyfriend. She can only have a relationship with her son and make him do it, but only if she decides. She has received you in her home and has agreed to share with you (and you are a bystander) and she is aware that you will not stay there for only one week. Of course, you have to clean, cook, etc. You're not there to be fooled, and you're complaining. You don't say whether you pay them rent, whether you shop with personal funds for the whole family, but you complain about how she cooked only three meals. I guess she goes to work and at the same time you want to be a perfect housewife like your mother. Your mother behaves like a good housewife with someone - you, her daughter, with someone who went to lunch to see her or to someone who has come to her permanently in her home. You yourself say that you should have stayed a few days, and the period has increased. She may be paying for this home, it may be part of it. She has the right to behave as she wants, you went there, you have to comply, not to explain how you want to command. When I went abroad, I did everything myself, without anyone's help. Before I left, I asked my cousin if he would help me minimally, and he refused, and rightfully so. Now we are in a city and from time to time he calls for some service, if I refuse him - no, if I can, I do. I was faced with a choice to stay in the city I was in, to change it without a job or to change it, but with a supposedly secured job. I chose to change the city without a job because a friend offered me to live with her for a month or so, most of the time they were on vacation in Bulgaria with her husband. What do you think, that they left me not to clean, that they left me to determine things. In the end, her husband came home without her and told us to move out in a few days, we did it. Don't think I'm mad at her, not in the least. I appreciate the little one. Some time ago, my friend said that my son-in-law was coming and would not pay rent until his documents were fixed and he received a second salary. I agreed. His son-in-law came. He drinks coffee, eats, leaves everything dirty on the table. One day, the second day, I wash, I lift. Well, I'm sorry. There was progress, the dishes from the table went unwashed into the sink. My boyfriend and I shop separately, I won't explain why. I cook something, I offer it to him, he doesn't refuse and so on for a whole week. Excuse me, to go to work, to shop with my own money for three, to serve. And many other things that violated our privacy and things which are established in time, he allowed himself to change them without asking. Cant happen. His son-in-law saw that the arithmetic with the money did not work out for him and went home. He had complained about me to his mother-in-law. So you may not like something else. Many people think that when they go abroad to acquaintances, they are obliged to take care of them, yes, but no. No one owes you. These people have done enough to welcome you into their home. As my friend's husband said the first night we stayed in them - let's drink a welcome brandy, that tomorrow will not. Draw your own conclusions. No one will make you a brother. You still have to learn from life, and when you roar from something minimal, I don't know what you're looking for abroad at all. No one will caress you with a feather here. that the arithmetic with the money did not come out and he went home. He had complained about me to his mother-in-law. So you may not like something else. Many people think that when they go abroad to acquaintances, they are obliged to take care of them, yes, but no. No one owes you. These people have done enough to welcome you into their home. As my friend's husband said the first night we settled in them - let's drink a welcome brandy, that tomorrow will not. Draw your own conclusions. No one will make you a brother. You still have to learn from life, and when you roar from something minimal, I don't know what you're looking for abroad at all. No one will caress you with a feather here. that the arithmetic with the money did not come out and he went home. He had complained about me to his mother-in-law. So you may not like something else. Many people think that when they go abroad to acquaintances, they are obliged to take care of them, yes, but no. No one owes you. These people have done enough to welcome you into their home. As my friend's husband said the first night we settled in them - let's drink a welcome brandy, that tomorrow will not. Draw your own conclusions. No one will make you a brother. You still have to learn from life, and when you roar from something minimal, I don't know what you're looking for abroad at all. No one will caress you with a feather here. they have to take care of them, yes, but no. No one owes you. These people have done enough to welcome you into their home. As my friend's husband said the first night we settled in them - let's drink a welcome brandy, that tomorrow will not. Draw your own conclusions. No one will make you a brother. You still have to learn from life, and when you roar from something minimal, I don't know what you're looking for abroad at all. No one will caress you with a feather here. they have to take care of them, yes, but no. No one owes you. These people have done enough to welcome you into their home. As my friend's husband said the first night we settled in them - let's drink a welcome brandy, that tomorrow will not. Draw your own conclusions. No one will make you a brother. You still have to learn from life, and when you roar from something minimal, I don't know what you're looking for abroad at all. No one will caress you with a feather here. I don't know what you're looking for abroad at all. No one will caress you with a feather here. I don't know what you're looking for abroad at all. No one will caress you with a feather here.
The point is that there is no way we can move out until we have gained experience in the country (3 months). I'm scared. I am alone in another country. It's not my first time. But I had never encountered such an attitude. It got to the point that yesterday he was sitting and counting my snacks and asking me how much I had poured into my plate ... I have no words !!!
Do not pay attention to them. You're right, it's awful, but either you have to pack your bags or just ignore them, they'll set your son against you, quarrels, they're aiming. But you will not do what they aim. I will be happy to write what happened.
Eee, that's enough! The girl is wondering what to do, and still someone will find herself writing about grammar. Pooh, what a people!
Off number 4, as long as she attacks her for confusing a word. Spelling does not matter What does an illiterate daughter mean - safe from reproach!
What your friend's father says / thinks / does is not very clear. If he sees everything and calms down, then he is bad too. He is married to such a stupid viper, and he does not dare to say anything. Eat with the old woman - do nothing, if she mutters, tell her in writing to describe exactly what she wants to do to avoid a blunder. If he writes it, you will see what remarks there will be and in the evening in front of everyone at the table you take out a sheet and comment.
You are simply not wanted there - not only does she have to accept her husband's son from another woman in her home, but also his girlfriend with him. It's not your fault - it's just that the situation is such that you can't be greeted there with open arms and feel at home. You are de facto shocked - you enter the personal space of another family, you put them in expenses and you are a burden to them! They are forced to set aside funds for you from the family budget that they would otherwise spend on themselves. That's why she cooks simple meals and counts your bites. Your husband's son must not attack directly, but be sure that you will continue to take him for two. Either you put on your thick skin and listen and do everything they tell you as they tell you and you keep quiet and comply until it's time to move out - or just move out. Also, if you take any money, instead of setting them aside, offer them in the presence of both to cover your food and living expenses. The other option is to ask her to make you a list and shop for you and your friend for the whole house - otherwise she will keep looking at your plate and counting bites - two more people can't help but burden one household. And don't listen when you're with them and you have to pay for something - offer them money or take bills, because finding accommodation is not what you imagine it to be, hop and move out exactly the month - it can be a lot more -Long stay and she knows it, which is why she is so annoyed. The other option is to ask her to make a list for you and shop for you and your friend for the whole house - otherwise she will keep looking at your plate and counting bites - two more people can't help but burden one household. And don't listen when you're with them and you have to pay for something - offer them money or take bills, because finding accommodation is not what you imagine it to be, hop and move out exactly the month - it can be a lot more -Long stay and she knows it, which is why she is so annoyed. The other option is to ask her to make a list for you and shop for you and your friend for the whole house - otherwise she will keep looking at your plate and counting bites - two more people can't help but burden one household. And don't listen when you're with them and you have to pay for something - offer them money or take bills, because finding accommodation is not what you imagine it to be, hop and move out exactly the month - it can be a lot more -Long stay and she knows it, which is why she is so annoyed.
We also contribute money. We don't pay money, but we buy cigarettes. Whenever we go to the store we always take something more than the ordered market. The thing is, she wants help in the kitchen, but when you want to help her, she doesn't want help. I ask for something else to help in the house. She calls me no, I'm fine. He gets angry when he catches me cleaning without telling me. She's angry that I'm not helping her in the kitchen. And he doesn't want help. Then he turns with your words doing nothing. What to do. If I cook when I'm not told or they don't like it or she has another plan because most of the food they give her. Good !! I ask her well tell me what to cook. I will cook. I think she treats me like that because she doesn't accept my husband. But there is no way to treat him directly because his father is there. And I'm the flattering target. I've never felt this way. To eat and to roar that I eat. That his family is committed to helping us, and they are getting him through our noses. And it's not just that. They call the whole family and play on a broken phone. How nothing happens to me. Even my mother-in-law did not stop the woman from worrying about me and crying. I tried everything. I also try to accept the fact that it is my fault. But she, as an adult, can tell. Come now, my girl, have you ever made a pie. Come on, I'll show you how to do it. Come my girl. I never left my plates. I even wash theirs. And I rub the bathroom. I'm not lazy. I watched my grandmother until the end while my mother worked. And since I was 15 I have been cooking and cleaning. And I have an opinion of myself that I am a pure person. The thing is, I'm really trying to help, but the woman doesn't need help. Not working sitting at home. And so that I don't sit with my legs raised on the sofa, I start cleaning something. And clean clean again. But it is said afterwards that I do it only so that his father can see me.
Ha, if only there was just one word ... IT'S FULL of mistakes, I gave only the most striking example! Don't you see the mistakes? Are you as illiterate as the author! ??
Well, I don't have much desire to help an illiterate person ... Not to mention the shock that they had to accept them in their house, arrange them and find them a job! Complete shock ... Since I can write competently, I can arrange my own life twice in two foreign countries, how do you imagine me respecting people like the author, eh! ??
From everything I read, the only thing I didn't understand was what your friend thought about the whole situation.
Comment 11, are you 11? Can't you read they're in her house? After your absurd idea to make fun of her mistakes, doesn't it occur to you that she can drive them away right away. Will it be funny again? Author, it's your fault too. How can you clean after she has cleaned? A woman must always comply, being in a foreign household. Even your friend's mother wouldn't like you interfering, though she wouldn't share it with you. Get on with it in a feminine way. When you are alone, tell her that you do not want to be a burden to her. That you are grateful that they have sheltered you and share their bread with you. That you want to help her in order to thank them in some way. That it won't burden you, because you've been used to taking care of your grandmother since you were little. And let her tell you what to help her with, you will gladly do it. If you can, shed a tear. And if you really feel like it, even better, pour out your grief. Instead of waiting for her to remember to ask you if you know how to make a pie, you brush it yourself if you like something she cooks, and ask her how she does it. The woman is not a monster, otherwise she would not accept you at all. You may seem like an easy target for aggression because of someone else's son, but it will be difficult for her to do so if you treat her with respect. However, so far, obviously, you are not doing it.
Why should you attack me? Exactly where you tell me I have spelling mistakes, you don't even understand what is written. I apologize. But I don't really understand. Will this change my situation, that I have spelling mistakes. Thanks to the people who gave me accurate advice and I am grateful to the others :)
Are you all right first? His father helps us. Not Penka from Haskovo. Secondly, I'm 22, do you think I'm built up enough to be a self-sufficient person? Everyone needs help. As you have managed alone in two countries, give advice. Share information. He attacks me here for spelling mistakes. Well done!!! Loud applause !! I will ask for advice on the problem. And don't worry about spelling mistakes. Every hair has a comb;)
Considering that at 22 you can't handle yourself (?!), Where did you go? Learn and then act. Why does a completely foreign woman have to deal with you? You are neither blood nor girlfriends. If your husband brings his child plus one to you, will you pretend to be their mother? Go back to your mother to prepare you for life or rely on yourself. NO ONE owes you, nor helps, nor guides you, nor anything just like that for your beautiful eyes.
Not only do you have a free roof, but you also have claims for this and that. At the age of 23 I went abroad alone. With a tourist visa. On the seventh day I had a place to stay. Attic, nothing special. In the second month I started working. One person I did not know in this city. You're stuck there and you want special treatment. Not for every accommodation they want the income for the last months, don't go out with these. You will take what you can, then you will look for better. Trouble is a good helper.
So you will both stay in their house and you will want everything ready. Don't try to please yourself with things you can't do. Either get used to the situation or move out. You are not like Cinderella, you are Cooked. And what do you plan to do when you live alone?
I understand perfectly, darling! You're shocked and you're waiting to be "settled"! I have "settled" myself twice! So much!