Hello! I have been married for several years, my husband and I live well. I saw her recently and she told me that my husband's sister was 6 months pregnant, but they didn't want to know, so they didn't tell me. He lied to me that my husband also knew recently, and later I realized that he knew from the beginning. My husband lied to me for several months because his mother-in-law asked him not to tell anyone, because they didn't want to be known because his sister was over 40. and that there were no lessons. I asked him during this time that his sister was not pregnant, and he always denied it. We're supposed to be a family, and he hid it from me. I am supposed to be accepted as a daughter-in-law, but I learned by telling everyone. His sister lives in another city and I have not seen her. I was very offended by this attitude. First, that he lied to me, and second, because of his mother-in-law, who made him keep quiet in front of me — in front of his wife. To clarify that we have a completely normal relationship, we are not in conflict. I don't understand why they accept me as a stranger, otherwise when they see me they call me "you are our daughter". I am very offended! Everything turned to me! What do you think about that? Did his mother intrigue? Is he right not to tell me when I asked him?
Answers 12
"I have been married for several years, we live well with my husband. I saw her recently ... '' who is this her and it never became clear to me
And would you feel better if your husband had broken his promise to his mother? The woman is enslaved to some archaic prejudices and trembles for her child. Smile condescendingly and don't act like a schoolgirl. Grandpa Torbalan
Yes, I have a problem for you. Did you find yourself sulking for this little thing? From the side you look like a capricious capricious child.
Oh, it's no intrigue, don't look for a calf under the ox. Things do not revolve around you at all in this case and there is no conspiracy! Indeed, there are such customs not to mention, especially since the situation is medically delicate and it was not at all certain whether he will be able to keep it, and people are quite superstitious about such things. They are right that they were silent, because such "secrets" are spread super fast, you can tell one and he tells someone else ... he left. If a person really wants to keep a secret, then this is done only in silence, it is not done by telling everyone and asking them to keep a secret. And when I look, they didn't make a mistake when they didn't tell you - while you learned and posted a topic on the net with the delicate details, who knows how many of your acquaintances and relatives you have already explained that you are offended and why. Stop - it really has nothing to do with you and your reaction is extremely inadequate. Put yourself in the woman's shoes - firstly, everyone will discuss when and why she became pregnant at that age, secondly, there was a chance of miscarriage probably almost by the 5th month - and then such a thing is even more unpleasant if people are aware. I also did not tell even the closest relatives until the beginning of the 5th month, only my husband and I knew each other - accept that some people are just different, we do not ring the bell immediately with the news - a person when he really wants something to happen, sometimes he prefers not to talk about it before it has happened and before it is certain, he does not want everyone to discuss and share. It's up to the person - when you get pregnant, as soon as it gives you pleasure, brag to everyone, but don't ask others to do the same. And again - people get excited and their considerations have nothing to do with making you dirty or insulting you, nothing revolves around you in this case. Your reaction is inappropriate, stop!
We assume your mother-in-law told you (something is lost at the beginning). If she told you and she didn't want you to know at first, what are you complaining about? She is superstitious and has some reason.
You do it for the big thing. "I am very offended! Everything turned to me" From this sentence one will think that he has cheated on you.
This sentence breaks sinks: "My husband lied to me for several months, BECAUSE my mother-in-law asked him not to tell anyone, BECAUSE they didn't want it to be known, BECAUSE his sister was over 40 ..."
Don't make it a problem - you don't have to care about them, but the story is very indicative of whether daughters-in-law are accepted as daughters. You have always been and will remain a stranger to them. Your husband betrayed you because you should share everything, and his mother persuaded him to keep quiet as if you were a stranger to him and to him. He is first a family with you and then with them. They are obviously hypocritical with you. Tell him. In your place, instead of shaking, I'll just limit contact with them. Not only do they lie that they accept, but they create intrigue between you and your husband. Under normal circumstances, they wouldn't tell him anything if they didn't want to be understood, because by default you as a family share everything.
Apparently they know that you will tell all common acquaintances, and this is exactly what they try not to happen. Who sows anything ... Think about it if you wanted to hide it and your mother-in-law tells the HUSBAND of your husband's sister, who is nothing to you - not pleasant. You don't even see each other often. What do you claim?
Father-in-law is hypocritical when they call you that they accept you as a daughter, and treat you as if you were a stranger. I would stay away from them. Your husband should not have lied to you - he must first be faithful to his wife and then to any relatives. The mother-in-law has created tension between you. If they were well-meaning, they just wouldn't tell him, not make him lie to you. Talk to him and promise yourself no more to allow such intrigues to stand between you and divide you. His sister doesn't have to share, but the way they isolated you is ugly, and it's even uglier that your husband let him. He should have cut them right away, that you have no secrets from each other and that you are not a stranger, and even ordered them to pretend to be fat, and to sing another song behind your back. Talk - without conversations it is impossible. Don't attack him, don't lose your temper, explain, that you understand his sister, but you no longer trust his parents that they accept you as a daughter, because their actions show otherwise and that is why you do not want to communicate very much with them - today they lie about this, tomorrow maybe about something else. And if you don't have any secrets - you are a family, you shouldn't let them make you lie in your eyes and hide from each other.
Sorry, you're very ill. This is something intimate and no one is obliged to inform you. If you were at least a little tactful, you wouldn't have to question and be lied to. No, no one is obliged to share such personal information with you. This has nothing to do with your family or other relationships. It's just that the woman thought so. And because she wears it, this child has every right to say or not to say. Who are you to share with you? You are not even in one city. You are not friends. You have a lateral line, the big connection. Understand that motherhood is an emotional thing, and not everyone shares their emotions with the whole world. You don't care about the sister, you only look at yourself. A child will come to the family, and no joy in you, just an insult that you see they didn't tell you. You act like a gossip, not a family member.
Why did you attack the woman? What was she like - um, ok, tell your parents-in-law what you were like, you're kind of on the edge, don't bother me then and don't look for me. They supposedly accepted her as a daughter, but they didn't tell her because she was a stranger and would curse her sister for persuading her own husband to lie to her. What about hypocrisy? Of course, she will still be their daughter if they need any help or want to go naked. When they wanted it to be a secret, they didn't tell anyone. In the place of the sister, I will only say to my own husband - she blew up the family, but she was afraid ha ha. I have a brother and I would not tell him, these are very personal and intimate things. Author, in your place I would not beat him to honor if they told me, and what this shows - the hypocrisy that they accepted you and the betrayal of your own husband. If they come to me and tell us something like that, I'll just tell them that my husband and I have no secrets and if they don't want something to get to him, they shouldn't share it with me. Don't go to these people too much - you're supposed to be their daughter, but obviously you're not. As you do not owe them, so you do not owe them. Tomorrow, when you get pregnant, they will line up at your door as if you were their daughter, but you can easily show them your middle finger and look after your baby alone with your husband. Safe from some old brats who think they deserve respect, and they can intrigue and behave disrespectfully with their children's partners with impunity. but you can easily show them your middle finger and look after your baby alone with your husband. Safe from some old brats who think they deserve respect, and they can intrigue and behave disrespectfully with their children's partners with impunity. but you can easily show them your middle finger and look after your baby alone with your husband. Safe from some old brats who think they deserve respect, and they can intrigue and behave disrespectfully with their children's partners with impunity.