Hello! Male, 27. I live in Sofia, on the 7th floor in a panel building with many entrances and many neighbors. Classic, right? We used to have neighbors like this, such and such and now they are also quite diverse ... But look, in the apartment just below us for several months, maybe a maximum of a year, a young family moved in. Mom and dad at about 35 and their daughter who I think is in kindergarten or is already in 1st grade. The child makes a very strong impression at the first contact with him. She is very intelligent, she is social - she even likes to talk to strangers - that's how I met her, I don't know if it's the same for others at the entrance. My relatives have also noticed the girl's politeness. How sweet I think it became clear, as for such a kid. However, her mother does not think exactly the same way about her, in my opinion. Or at least judging by that, that almost every night the girl roars that something has gone wrong, that she has stepped outside the lines clearly and strictly defined by her mother, in which she must develop and must not cross. Words like "When are you going to shut up, shit?" Are almost everyday ... or, as I said, a dinner party. Almost every night this woman screams and yells at this man and I don't even want to go into more detail about the epithets I drop.
I hate to even write it. Now is the time to ask: Hmmm, where is the father? He is not there, he is at work all day and when he comes home he can chew a little, but that's it. He didn't treat the child like that, or at least he didn't until a month or two ago. Now I have the feeling that he is beginning to empathize with the "mother". I haven't heard a fight over the child so far, but I can't be sure, they are always slamming doors, crashing on a table, etc. There can be many things: she is not the real mother of the child or they are in a different, than normal, relationship at all. I can't guess. What I can do, however, is to turn to a child protection authority in such cases. My question to you is: Do you think it is right for me to contact such a unit, anonymously or not, to alert about the case and for this child to stop being bullied in this way? Do you think that even if I do - there will be some effect, a real, adequate effect?
Thank you and send greetings! to alert about the case and this child to stop being bullied in this way? Do you think that even if I do - there will be some effect, a real, adequate effect? Thank you and send greetings! to alert about the case and this child to stop being bullied in this way? Do you think that even if I do - there will be some effect, a real, adequate effect? Thank you and send greetings!
Answers 11
Yes, it is very likely not to have much effect, but call. And I hope more people like you finally become. Safe from rubbish making children for whatever reason, but not because they want them. ж23
Yes, this attitude towards a child is not normal, it will cause him huge traumas, and even without that he must already feel like an orphan. Personally, I would do it, my conscience will not be clear to the child otherwise. However, I guess it will bring you a lot of quarrels with yourself, you know how the story is: "Do good, eat l ...". Let's not forget that they are rented - any talk directly with them can only lead Help the child, seeing a competent authority does not mean that the girl will end up in an orphanage and there is no reason to be inactive for fear of harm, what will happen to the child will be decided by social services, just alert.
Oh, I don't know it's very complicated. I have given such a signal. You will be anonymous, they will start an inspection within 10 days, they will contact the kindergarten, the child's personal doctor, a social worker will surprise them, in my case they did not find the mother on the phone and went to her workplace. They will notify you without details of the steps they have taken by email. In my case, I'm sorry I gave the signal. It turned out that the problem was over and I only created problems for an already tortured woman. So I advise you to talk to one of the parents first, maybe the father. In good faith. Sometimes from the outside things can look very different. Do you have children? Because people without children and people with children generally perceive children's behavior differently, as well as parental behavior. I gave the signal before the children, now I wouldn't.
There are institutions for this, there is nothing to interfere in personal relationships with them. Report, write what happened.
From the author. At the moment I hear "pig down". Below us, from the same mouth to the same child. As far as I remember there was a saying that if you repeat to someone long enough that he is a pig - he will eventually start grunting. Up to 4. Agree completely. There are institutions for this and I am not convinced that I should talk to either parent. Up to 3. No, I have no children. And yes, the situation inside can be very different from what I just hear - but this system ... it often doesn't sound good to me anyway. I haven't given the signal yet, but I'll keep you posted. I will try soon. I have a colleague who knows people in such an institution and I would like to know from her.
My children are now adults, but on the subject of the author I would never call institutions for such a thing. If I witnessed a beating of a child, I do not mean a slap in the ass, but a beating with bruises, etc., if I witnessed a child starving or undressed according to the season / naked and barefoot in winter /, if I witnessed a lack of care for a sick child / for example if a child has a toothache and there is no one to take him to the doctor / I will certainly call, but I will not call a parent for a bad vocabulary. First of all, every parent is a human being, he as such can make mistakes, and I think that the author should not consider himself sinless, especially since he has no children yet and he does not know where his emotions will go when his child gets on his nerves. Yes, his neighbor expresses his emotions quite badly, someone as a child put these words in the dictionary. Probably someone called her that as a child and here she has become a normal person, started a family and probably works something. However, I cannot understand why the author is so sure that the words are directed at the child and not at his father or an inanimate object. Many people in Bulgaria even swear, and they swear an inanimate object when it breaks down or they just hit it. I agree that a child growing up in such conditions will have a relatively mild problem with his mental and emotional development, like 80% of the world's population, and will most likely not become a nuclear physicist, but for God's sake the author should be aware that the world not all children need to become nuclear physicists, and no matter how cute the girl next door can become a good saleswoman or even a cleaner at Lidl. And believe me, the world needs a much larger number of saleswomen and cleaners than nuclear physicists. Low-skilled staff is needed, and they remain low-skilled precisely because they have been raised in this way. You will ask if I personally have ever lost my temper, I will answer you quite honestly, yes, many years ago. When one day I came back from work nervously, I took my child from the garden, went through the neighborhood store, filled my bags and hurried with the child to cross the boulevard in front of his house just before the red light, and suddenly the child decided he wanted to we went back 300 meters to the lollipop store and lay down in the middle of the road with my arms outstretched and a carapace, then I dropped the bags, pulled him onto the sidewalk and slapped him across the ass, believe me I'm not ashamed of that. My children have long been adults and, yes, they are not nuclear physicists, they are not chiastachi in Lidl, I am probably to blame for not being nuclear physicists, but I sincerely believe that I have raised people who are useful to society. Because they work, earn their income and are already on their way to start families.
How do you appear to be interested and to report to "Child Protection" ??? Only when there is a visible reason and you have seen with your own eyes the abuse of the child without him deserving it then talk to the parents first, if this continues you can call an institution. I am against interfering with strangers in my relationship with my family.
Author, did you give a signal? What happened? 6, with thinking like yours, we will simply continue to spew servitude to the West. People like you should be ashamed of themselves, and very much so.
From the author. 8. I did not report. 6. I want to, but I will not comment. 7. I really want to, but I will not comment. I just decided to share in order to absorb more opinions and experiences from people of all kinds. Family and non-family. Women and men. Of all ages. And now ... Now I hear her again, the mother, and she screams again and the child roars at her meeting again. And I'm 100 fucking percent sure who's calling whom and for what, because the panel on my floor and their ceiling is thin enough . If not - through the ventilation shaft, where the pipes pass, this echo is heard, because it is a little more than enough the strength of the shouts between two people face to face. And ... we continue in the old way, it seems - it's still happening. The father hasn't come home yet, but it won't get any better when he gets home. But still to sit down and watch which logos and what they go home for, etc. - I will not do it, I'm not a lunatic. I met the mother and the girl again on my way home a few days ago as they were getting out of the elevator. I greeted them - no one greeted me back. As you already know - I am interested in the child ... she, as I explained, was radiant, polite and loving the conversation. It wasn't now. It was not only now, but now a mother, and as he held her hand and led her, he asked the little one something and answered in half a word. Probably everything went well and things really went well. And I sincerely hope so. Probably everything got worse and the shouting at the girl started breaking and closing her. More and more - as long as the whole thing continues to this day. But ... What does my unmarried head understand? Who am I to prevent someone with their visible potential from becoming a good saleswoman and even a cleaner? I was speechless by the comments here. I wish you a quiet and peaceful evening.
I have no doubt of your well-intentioned intentions, but an anonymous signal seems to me a last resort. Try talking to the mother, if not the father. Because from personal experience I say that things are not always as they seem. I have one child with autism and another with hyperactivity, as you have a poor imagination of what remarks are made between the two, they fight, they fight, and I am already at the bottom. I tell them that we may have problems with their quarrels, and they don't choose at all, and they seem to be stubbornly circulating even more.
From the author. Today, just now, literally, the mother and father were going to fight. I have it on record already, as well as more records. I decided that I would write it down so that you wouldn't inculcate in yourself. Up to 10. The woman (the mother of the child) seems mad with envy or disposition from the relatives of the family. I don't think I should talk to her at all. Things are personal. But yelling and screaming and yelling at this kid while they're holding each other's throats ... it's not good, it's strictly not good. You ask why? Because because of the fucking alcohol, our people would kill each other one night when I was little. And I don't want the same trauma for this child. It just hits you in the psyche. And it hurts and is not forgotten. Stay home as many readers as you can and stay healthy. Greetings and be.