I don't know where to start writing, not to mention that I don't know if it makes sense ... Maybe I should pour out my soul, I know ... My husband and I have been living together in a house for a long time, my mother-in-law is quite old, but completely with his mind, is on the first floor, we on the second. The antique house from the 60s. It was as if she had fallen asleep at another time. Every day is a pain and physical effort for me. For my husband, he hardly lives like that for 40 years. I carry wood up non-stop. There is no hot water. By the way, there is a water heater, but downstairs ... and when the water runs out, his mother goes upstairs to fight - there was none for her, she only needed one plate. My daughter and I are upstairs. I got tired of singing the same song and started going to my studio / there is also misery there, but at least it is tolerable, although difficult //. He dragged his laundry and dishes after me. I look recently - the child stopped going to his grandmother ... I say and, go to grandma, she says-I don't want to. And no one said a bad word about her. Children are not stupid, they feel everything. We have spared the child from problems and we have never raised our voices in front of her, let alone explained who she is, grandma, grandpa. In the living room accumulated furniture, frozen from the last century. This locker is needed, I don't know what else is missing ..
There is another room - my husband has been "fixing" it for 5-6 months, now he will clean it ... and that's how it is. To sit. There was no crib for the child before. I took him a basket, the cheapest - he used to sleep with us. To see how quickly he liked it in his bed and now he sleeps sweetly there. The yard should be a yard, you should plant flowers, I would like to start growing tomatoes, parsley or whatever. Well, full of rubbish, paper, iron, bottles, car parts and whatever else comes to mind. It's good that we're in a severe financial crisis, that my husband should wind up cleaning something in Nadin .. I put up with the old batteries for many years - well, it spilled on me! I broke my arms with them - they were spinning with three hundred torments. I dug 2 old women out of the yard and put them in the studio. Here I brought the two snaps to Vidima and I was born. These days a neighbor put us Junga so that the grandmother could smell thank God. Otherwise, my husband would pick up a cigarette to put it on ... I know how he puts it on and does something - half a year ... 7-8 years ago a Dream worked for a whole month. I threw it at Nadine with gusto. There is a dog in the yard. I have a cat in the studio - a meek and gentle soul. Hey, that cat, it smelled, it annoyed him, I threw it away. And what can I say about the dog? !! Yes, I don't like him. It's not like moving 70 kg and 5 kg out of your way. 5 times a day, just to pass. And he doesn't drive away the dog, which he knows himself and says that he doesn't love and can't stand it ?? But he needs it, ah ..
We're so different ... it's awful, I know that. And we've been together for 10 years and he's everything to me .. In my personal life, too, it started to go wrong ... I don't know why I get so annoyed when we talk about nonsense, literally. Eg. I've watched crime series, medical nonsense and so on. What did they give me, how could I watch this nonsense or this boring psychology, like CSI, Profiling, RIS, Gray and a bunch of others. Am I watching him staring! His journalism is completely foreign to me, but I don't give him a mind of what to watch, let alone judge him as a person by what he watches. But I don't want him to do it either. When he sees a crime on the desktop, close it. In the evening, the TV is entirely his. I will only add that we do not tolerate Turkish TV series and chalga, and we are united in this. I have been unemployed for 1-2 months. I've worked in a certain field all my life, but the truth is not in it ... I realized some time ago, I never found the strength and money / we have been poor all our lives, both he and I / to follow the work I dream of. He doesn't support me at all! He is still trying to push me into the mold in which I lived. And I'm always looking at more masculine professions and honestly, I also have abilities. I know I can handle it. But a woman in a man's world finds it difficult to break through, let alone at my age. Well, at least he promised me - if he sees that I am satisfied and satisfied, he will not be a horse with caps, but he will be happy for me. But I feel like my self-esteem is crushing from now on - when I have decided to take my own path - "you will see that you will get bored, you will rot, etc." Well, I'm not chasing the easy! I'm chasing what I love and I'm sure I'll do it! I dreamed for so many years and did nothing - now I will fight! But I don't want to - even if he shouts every other day - you won't succeed ... And for what I want - I need money and time and courses ... Regular visitors to the site will probably say that I don't I'm home, which it really is, but I don't think it's the most defining thing for a family that has chosen to be together. We also lived in the studio for a while, we were separated. It's easiest to get my ass up and go home. And what do we do next? !! Are we parting again or dreaming between the two "houses"? One day here, one there, a few hours there, a few here ... It's no business. I don't want to share. I think I started to delve into the writing and the details - there are still plenty of them. But the main thing in my writings is that unfortunately I feel a kind of emptiness inside me and we are like some cool roommates and friends at the table in the evening, to eat, what to buy, to wash, wash ... I do not comment on sex, simply because we have never had problems - it was, is now and will be wonderful. He has been thinning since the child grew up and we started hiding like mice ... There is no place and when - our girl wants her attention and care. Some may even accuse me of materialism. There is no way it will happen and I will not be bound, because it is not so. I have lived such a life for more than 20 years with fathers, mothers, husbands, mothers-in-law, my physical exhaustion is getting worse and I am already fed up. How do you manage such a miracle and such a mess? !! I have no idea .... Maybe not at all. That's how I'll live. Excuse me for pouring out my soul ... There is no place and when - our girl wants her attention and care. Some may even accuse me of materialism. There is no way it will happen and I will not be bound, because it is not so. I have lived such a life for more than 20 years with fathers, mothers, husbands, mothers-in-law, my physical exhaustion is getting worse and I am already fed up. How do you manage such a miracle and such a mess? !! I have no idea ....
Maybe not at all. That's how I'll live. Excuse me for pouring out my soul ... There is no place and when - our girl wants her attention and care. Some may even accuse me of materialism. There is no way it will happen and I will not be bound, because it is not so. I have lived such a life for more than 20 years with fathers, mothers, husbands, mothers-in-law, my physical exhaustion is getting worse and I am already fed up. How do you manage such a miracle and such a mess? !! I have no idea .... Maybe not at all. That's how I'll live. Excuse me for pouring out my soul ...
Answers 9
Honey, now that you're unemployed, check with the labor office to see if there's a free course for what you want. Organize the whole family, husband, mother-in-law, and the child (it will be even interesting and instructive) to clear the yard. If it is so bad, in sectors, several times. You can clear a corner and plant a beautiful flower there, let your husband see how ridiculous this beauty will stand against the background of the rest! Your husband's support ... well, it's not just yours. they usually, in disbelief in themselves, have no way to support anyone else. You are working on the dream, pull, pull, try everything you can. How come you're not home? !! You have been a wife, mother, wife and housewife in this home for 10 years! Of course you are at home! You have every right to think and act as a housewife and equal owner in this home. And why don't you rent the studio? The money will come in handy. And do not despair, fight for your dream, at first you have enough time to support yourself. He will also support you when he sees that you have set off in this direction. Most people in Bulgaria are already poor, everyone is fighting as hard as they can or not at all. some have already gone with the flow. they are tired. Don't you too! You have the strength, you can, you just have to start making the steps! Good luck in your endeavor!
This is the family and who and what else to tell you - is not true. Family is hard work, a constant struggle that two people lead to raise a generation. Being friends is the most natural thing - you can't be in love forever - there is no such movie. At least rejoice that sex is good and that he has an interest, because this is a rarity after a certain period of family life. As for not fixing things at home - most men are like that - they can't, as he can't - try it - whether alone or through a master - there's a way. Other things also depend on you - to diversify - to go for walks, excursions - maybe one-day - to the nearby hill - only desire and initiative are needed. As for the job - one doesn't have to bother much nowadays - you can catch what kind of job you have at the moment and pay for the relevant courses you want. In general - you just have to tighten up - whining has not helped anyone so far.
I apologize from the beginning for my critical comment, but I hope the criticism is constructive. All your problems, author, can be solved with only one thing, WORK. You have been living without good taps for 10 years, and there are shops in the store that are good enough for BGN 20-30. You buy and change them, if your husband does not find the opportunity and strength to change them himself, you call a master and he changes them. Your mother-in-law has given you a floor and the woman is right to want to have at least the hot water she has provided. Build a bathroom, buy your own water heater. You will say we have no money, this is how the rest of us manage to have amenities on the same Bulgarian salaries, and some of us have not even been given a floor by our mother-in-law. You're old enough, and you don't think it's impossible to make plans to plant tomatoes and parsley in someone else's yard. Your yard belongs to your father-in-law and he will keep in it whatever the person wants. Be thankful he gave you a floor, and thought that it was possible not only not to give you anything, but also to condemn your husband for alimony. The law gives your parents-in-law the right not only not to share their property with you, but also to claim alimony from their children's income. I tell you this in order to see that it can be worse and that you are grateful to your destiny that you are not so bad. Look at yourself, woman, how old are you, a healthy real mother of a child, waiting for what your parents gave you, hold on to building a better future for your child. Save money, save on salaries, little by little, fix the house, build a bathroom, make external insulation, buy kitchen furniture and appliances. In order not to drag wood, raise money for the next year, build a local heating system for the house / from the stove of your mother-in-law to heat the whole house /. Depending on the square footage, it will cost about BGN 2,000. This way you will both buy your mother-in-law a new stove, you will not carry wood, you will reap many benefits. You can't work all your life just for your esophagus. You expect from your husband, there is nothing wrong, but you are just as big and have equal responsibilities to do something for your common home. The emptiness that you feel in yourself is filled only with achieved goals, with goals that you set and achieve one after another. I am also a woman, I have also been married for a decade, and sometimes I had to wait for months for my husband to come forward for some repairs in the apartment we pay for / because the parents-in-law did not give us /. I also love men's professions, but I save and build my home. For 10 years I almost paid for the apartment, furnished it entirely with wooden windows, thermal insulation, completely new furniture and furniture. Even my new goals are already directed upwards, the apartment is ready, the child's education is OK. I give my husband an ultimatum "if you don't change the dripping faucet this week, I'll call a plumber next week and pay him from your income." Well, I also want a tomato garden, but my options for now are such that I can only pay for an apartment / houses in the vicinity of the city are more expensive /, but if one day I sow tomatoes, it will be in the yard that I am bought with our savings. Finally, let me tell you, author, that my income is not higher than yours, and when I pay the mortgage, I am left with about BGN 500 monthly income. I hope you continue the topic with information about the achieved goals, goals that you have set and achieved. but if one day I sow tomatoes, it will be in a yard that I bought with our savings. Finally, let me tell you, author, that my income is not higher than yours, and when I pay the mortgage, I am left with about BGN 500 monthly income. I hope you continue the topic with information about the achieved goals, goals that you have set and achieved. but if one day I sow tomatoes, it will be in a yard that I bought with our savings. Finally, let me tell you, author, that my income is not higher than yours, and when I pay the mortgage, I am left with about BGN 500 monthly income. I hope you continue the topic with information about the achieved goals, goals that you have set and achieved.
Oh, you've come across the hellish picture of antiquity, in what century you've lived so far. Did this scumbag and his mother become such scoundrels now? I and many others here like to keep our old things from the society, but no one wants it to be accumulated in their house as in a home of homeless people. Where did you last live? If your topic is meaningless, you have solved your problem, if it is in them, then you will tolerate the mother, and the child really can not be stupid, he just feels that the family environment is worse.
Hmmm. Bad situation. There is nothing but clenching your teeth. If the old commanders, so be it. You just say OK and that's it. I have about the same thing around me - my mother. She has been and still is a director of senior administrations all her life, but she also tries to be one at home. And now I'm 36, married, with a child. I work, and so does my wife. We manage somehow, although salaries are not the first beauty. But my mother is constantly interfering. This was not the case, that - why, why are you like that, and not, as she said, etc. annoying things. It's good that we live in our own home, completely separate, so we rarely see each other, but even that doesn't stop us from giving directives over the phone every day, which is terribly intrusive and insane. We have a villa on the Black Sea coast, where we go every summer, BUT, if we find ourselves, I deliberately make sure it is not for more than 1 day, because it gets scary. We make fun of each other, look at each other askance, etc., just because we interfere in EVERYTHING. The pot was not made like that, but like that, we cooked very complicated (I am a certified master chef), etc. nonsense. Well, what can I tell you, grit your teeth, give me one OK and put things between your ears. That's it. Unfortunately, there is no other salvation.
And why should you live with your mother-in-law? You write that you have a studio. True, it is small, but it is yours and there you can arrange things as you like, and not to think about the mother-in-law when she is happy to bathe and when she is not, that there is hot water. And as for the fact that your husband does not touch anything, oh a classic in the genre! Don't ask me how long I grumbled to mine while he fixed a running fountain! Dissatisfied that the water bill is high, he is too lazy to fix the faucet so that it does not drip. Abe's a man's job! So for what I can do on my own, what I can't do, I ask my father or call a master, that if I wait for my husband to think ... For this, darling, take matters into your own hands and arrange your life, because if you don't help yourself, another will not do it. Well, look for a job, whatever it is, the important thing is to make money and you will see how your self-esteem will rise and you will have money for more things (whether for something at home, whether for something for the child), the important thing is that you will not be 100% dependent on the man which is a living punishment for a woman. Success!
I waited for the comments, so I didn't write. Good advice, thanks to those involved. But I must add that there are details, and quite a few that I have not mentioned. It is not possible to live in the studio now, as before - there is simply no electricity, an amount accumulated from last year, large enough ... this is the reason why I do not rent it. So I answer 1, and 3, and 7. There is no crazy potential tenant who can give over BGN 1,500 rent, even for years to come, as the market is full and can be found for 300-400 with the deposit. It's not downtown though. I go there and wash my hands. Number 3, your criticism would be constructive ... but you don't know Grandma. 3-4 years ago I had some money ... I could put a local heating system and a new stove, separately the pipes are in a crazy state, there is a break, tiles to be put, but horror / the repair can't be under 6- 7 vouchers all / .. . no, no, she and her son are pulling back, fleeing from the new and the modern, fear is chasing them, so it is a miracle. A microwave will not use. More details if you want - I'll serve them on a baking sheet. The problem is also in the money, but NOT only in them - the grandmother drags back. Her son is driven by paranoia from her. She has a terribly bad and powerful appearance and I understand it to some extent when she tells me that she could not and has no way or approach to deal with her - now and years ago. She is a terribly powerful person - more than any idea. But my husband is a restless spirit, or he erupts, or he is silent like a devil and he thinks that the silence and the shouts fix things. She entered the room before during sex. After the birth of the child he calmed down, but in his first years we were in the studio - not that it didn't ring on the phone - something broke and ran into the rotten house ... And it's nearby - a man often disappeared there. . As for work, it is clear to me that I will not, I will find something, anything, to survive. But number 3 ... when I say we're bad with money, we're bad. But our bad is not your bad. I took about BGN 350 while working a month or two ago / as I wrote /, my husband has 450 net - BGN 200 of them for loans and bills. I have obligations separately. It was not my idea to become an economic topic who takes how much, has and gives. I have an average, he with a university degree - in a decent company - and the salaries are almost the same. There was a period in which I took a hundred levs more than him ... The question is definitely not only in the money, but in many other things. The grandmother wanted to do something in the yard, dig it up ... Where exactly? !! To stumble on iron or to hang on to something else involuntarily? !! Once I was stung by a bee / wasp on my legs, I was allergic ... How come in 40 years I was not stung at home, on the street, but lost in the house ... I will easily call a master ... but the water stops from the 1st floor ... when I go there to stop it, it will raise a smoke God forbid what's going on and isn't it dangerous ... He came to check when they put the net in, we waited for this net for years, otherwise we were on a flash drive .. For now I'm acting in an insidious way. There is no way for everyone to know where all the rubbish is. I throw everything I see in a more distant rubbish bin. I will play like this for years, but to stand and do nothing is still not possible. Once the grandmother tries to evict me again - well, go to the studio! I gritted my teeth - I will not go anywhere - where my child is, I will stay there! As there is no electricity - a great miracle - it can stand, I also have a cat to watch. I also have a gas bottle. Oh, and I missed something important, number 3, still far ahead of me, is not owned by my mother-in-law. Long before me it was transferred to my husband - before our marriage. By the way, Jungata couldn't stand it - the coupler gave a short time, and I got angry and said that I would bring the neighbors to us again ... Hey, I'm tired of this house - I'm tired ... The author. PP. For now, my ambition is to turn on the electricity at home so that we can stay in the light with the child longer. Then things will be much easier :)
From №3 Author, you pull like a donkey on ice, trying to convince me that it is impossible that I am wrong. And I know myself, and I see that with lower than your income I have what I want and achieve my goals. They scare you 6-7 thousand levs repairs, and you have more money than me. How bad are you to be better than me? The tiles are not a scary thing, they cost about BGN 20 per square meter with the installation. The new heating pipes are BGN 2, 30-2, 50 per meter. If you are so keen on planting tomatoes and your grandmother gives you carte blanche, buy stakes and net, fence off 20 square meters. m and plantations. What do you want, the grandmother to come and show you exactly where, someone to clean your place, to secure a way to get there, if possible, to keep your hoe while you dig.
I'm not, author, your comment (8) ... is obviously worse than it looked from the post above. Yes, maybe the best option is to go to the studio. But first, of course - work, income. This will wake your husband from lethargy, but then, if he wants you to return, you will be able to set him a condition. Or if you take him home to the studio, and if he goes to help his mother, you will not burden yourself more negatively and live in misery. In the studio at least, it may be poor, everything is economical, but it will be clean and full of positive energy;) And you do not give up your dream, you can do whatever it is for "bread" and take a course for a dream you are. Success!