Hello, I would like to share my story while remaining anonymous. I am a man of 24 years. A few years ago I met a girl who was 4 years older than me. A few days later a great love (mutual) joy was born, it was great for me, it was everything, but unfortunately one night, moving from the disco, we crashed and the irreversible happened. She died literally before my eyes. The view was disgusting and the pain was great. the one you love dies before your eyes, to see how the meaning of your life goes, how your whole life collapses in seconds is an awful long time after the accident I didn't want to look at another I didn't want to think about another and so to this day I have resigned myself to the thought that I will never love anyone as I loved her that I will never I feel a real joy of life that I will always be gloomy and insensitive with her gone smiles, my feelings, the joy of life many times I wondered why she could not be in her place why I had to lose her this way . Perhaps what "destroyed" me the most was the fact that she died in front of my eyes and that I blamed myself for this incident because she wanted us to stay a little longer and I insisted on leaving. But now I met another woman who aroused some feelings in me feelings that I had forgotten I would not say that I fell in love but she is not indifferent to me I feel some attachment to her and I do not want to lose her she gave me back my smile but now I do not know what to do because I don't want to be with her because I need her or because of her appearance I want to be with her because of her because of the person she is but I don't know how to tell her and I have the feeling that in my quest to win her I lose her and just don't I know how to act. I'm telling you this story in order to make it a little easier for me, I've kept it to myself for too long and I didn't want to share it with anyone but over the years the burden becomes heavier and heavier I hope you understand me I'm not looking for sympathy just I wanted / needed to share my story with someone.
Answers 16
Forget the past, everyone has the right to a second chance to be happy, try it, there is nothing to lose, do not ruin your life!
S.P. - I regret your loss and I fully understand you, at the moment I am in your situation, I lost in the same way the person I loved infinitely 4 months ago and to admit you, I envy you for the fact that you managed to get closer to someone again and give SUCCESS
To get closer, 6 years after the loss and it's been too long in pain, suffering and loneliness, the bad thing is that I'm used to being alone and now that I'm getting closer I don't know what to do, how to act, I have the feeling that with each passing day in my quest to win her, to get closer to her, I lose her more and more and apart from the fact that I am afraid to let someone near me, I am afraid of losing a loved one a second time and all this confuses me to some degree and I can't make the right decision.
I wish you the greatest happiness in the world. YOU DESERVE IT! Good luck
My advice is not to get too close to the girl in question. Because you have already lost a loved one and you are looking for comfort in someone else, now you have found her and you want to grab her, but don't hurry ... God forbid something happens to this woman, then you will just die with her, you have overcome one loss, but the second (I hope there is no such) will weigh you a lot. That's why take things slower and share your feelings with her, she needs to know what you're feeling, because she can be in the same situation and think things.
SP - You allow fear to overcome you, let it flow, let things settle on their own, don't think about them much, accept it as another chance to be happy, I wish you success
Start with her again. Do not be afraid. Be optimistic and don't think bad things. Just because it happened once doesn't mean it can happen again. Be yourself, do your best and don't hold back just because you don't think something bad will happen. I had a friend who experienced such a tragedy, exactly 4 years before we met, and he never wanted to get closer, he never gave himself completely, and I loved him very much and wanted to help him, but he never let me in. . We were together for almost 4 years. And only on the third did he tell me about his tragedy. Then I thought that he already allowed me to himself and all year we were happier than the previous 3, I felt that he allowed me more, but at one point he clearly gave up, was afraid of our rapprochement and decided it was best to we part for my good, and for his. Maybe this fate will happen to me as an ex-girlfriend. And so fear prevailed and we parted. I suffered a lot, I wanted to be by his side, but I respected his decision. Don't let fear ruin your life. Be with the girl if you really like her and try not to think bad things. Just don't give up and don't be afraid. I wish you success and hope you overcome your fear and be happy. Life goes on, you move forward with new hope and new strength.
To number 8: for me up and down it's the same yes I'm afraid of losing her in one way or another but I have the feeling that she wants us to be just friends and not something more I tried to tell her what I'm feeling but she stopped me like she knew what I was going to tell her and she didn't want to hear it though she can't do anything if she doesn't want to and she is the first person I want to let in for so many years she still doesn't know this story
I am in a similar situation. Almost a year ago, I met a great woman who hadn't had a serious relationship in about 8 years and was very, very hurt. I was also alone for a few years, and I thought that I could not feel strong feelings again, love, desire to have a serious relationship. But, it happened, I want it with all my soul and all my consciousness. But ... there is always a "but". Her fears are so great, she doesn't believe in the idea that she can have a good relationship, she doesn't trust men, she thinks she doesn't have a happy ending and she will be a victim again. He thinks it's better that way, without emotions, without commitment. He wants us to communicate, but he can't perceive me as a close person and he can't let me in. I struggled, I suffered (and I continue to suffer), but I see that she will not change unless she decides she wants to. It is very difficult to be repulsed in this way. She and I had some really wonderful moments, but I no longer have the strength to play the role of a partisan, I feel that she wants me, but there is something very strong that prevents her from relaxing. I accepted her wish, no matter how much it hurt. So if you want advice, don't push it away if you really feel that shiver under the spoon. I am convinced that everyone can be happy, love and be loved, but, you have to take risks, without risk there is no creation.
Safe from the war on our roads, a lot of people ruined, go ahead, my friend. Your grief will not bring her back, but will ruin you. Most importantly, don't feel sorry for yourself and don't blame yourself.
I blame myself because I insisted on leaving, if I had not insisted on leaving, we would have left later and this would not have happened.
How do you know something worse wouldn't have happened if he hadn't insisted? Then you would say, "If I had insisted we leave earlier, it wouldn't have happened." Don't blame yourself. When you have a problem with anything, don't keep it to yourself to torment yourself, but share it with someone. Choose only with whom. This is pure psychology and it will be much easier for you. Ask yourself if it bothers you to tell your new acquaintance about it. The fact that you do not hide will be a plus for you. Even if she doesn't want you to be more than friends, keep her as such. And do you know what will happen in time ... Open up and don't close like you have been before. I wish you true happiness.
Hello, I am 11 again, the sequence of actions, motives and factors leading to an event cannot be avoided because you do not know any of them in advance. What could and what happened does not blame you, time and chance are relative concepts based on our elementary senses, think .... maybe there is something in whose hands we are puppets, one tends to blame oneself, although he is powerless against his destiny ... so as they say in a whiskey ad :) you only need to do one great thing and you will be immortal. Self-pity is not a great thing, it is great to keep going.
Go ahead boy! It's hard, but it's your choice: you can shut yourself in or move on. Don't blame yourself - you couldn't have predicted what would happen. There must have been dozens of cases in which you decided when to leave - with her or with other people ... Sometimes it just happens ... Share with the lady how you feel, and if she is close enough for you - and for that that you experienced. Just don't hold on to her like a drowning man for a straw - life goes on, whether she shares your feelings or not. Feeling something for her means that you are ready to go on with your life. You are so young - your natural physical vitality will inevitably prevail and thank God! Be happy and take care! Life goes on, and you, perhaps more than others, know how to appreciate it!
you love one person too much but in the end you lose him
I feel sad at the moment and I don't feel like living at all because I learned some bad news and it hurts a lot, but don't give up, I wish you luck.