Hello! I'm a girl graduating this year. Let's say that I want to develop and succeed in something (like everyone) and I even have a very high goal, which I hope will not remain just a dream. My problem, however, is that I am cowardly and sensitive. I have a social phobia that I have begun to overcome, but it is still difficult for me to control it completely. I just happen to find myself in situations where it's hard for me to talk and I'm worried about people. I think they only watch me, even when I'm walking around the city (when I'm alone). Sometimes I communicate, I walk quite normally and I have no such fears of people. Things are 50/50 as I am already used to in my city, which is very small. I'm not that bad, I try not to shut myself up at home. It is quite logical, however, to now apply to a university in another city. By no means do I want to convey that I recommend for the mother to be in high school. There is also a university in my city, but I don't want to apply because it's just not my thing. I have focused on a certain specialty in the big cities, including the capital. It's just that I can't even imagine there if I would survive, let alone if I would find friends. Even in my city I didn't succeed so much. However, if I stay here, my future will be ruined, and I really want to learn something definite for years. But I am also very attached to ours, to home, school and the environment.
From now on I feel how difficult it will be for me, I would even cry. At the same time I want to stay with ours, but also to make my dreams come true. Most of you will tell yourself that there is no chance that I will stay where I am. If I'm so cowardly, I'm not for such a place. But I am hardly the first person who has a hard time getting used to the university, the news and it is difficult for him to live in another, big city, alone. I have the feeling that I have to be very flexible with time and situations. I will ask you to give me some advice on how to overcome this condition of mine, because I think that in the big city my social phobia would increase. I read topics to many students about how they can't stand it elsewhere and give up. I wouldn't want to be one of them. How can I stop being afraid and deal with both the big city and the people? There are certainly others who have gone through this. because I think that in the big city my social phobia would increase. I read topics to many students about how they can't stand it elsewhere and give up. I wouldn't want to be one of them.
How can I stop being afraid and deal with both the big city and the people? There are certainly others who have gone through this. because I think that in the big city my social phobia would increase. I read topics to many students about how they can't stand it elsewhere and give up. I wouldn't want to be one of them. How can I stop being afraid and deal with both the big city and the people? There are certainly others who have gone through this.
Answers 4
I understand how you feel. I'm not the most sociable myself either, but I used to be a real mouse. Up to 4th grade the whole class loved me and I was popular, but from 5th to 7th a girl turned everyone against me and they harassed me a lot / insults and fights /. I am very sensitive at first, but then I closed completely. Then in the 8th grade I found a good friend, and in the 9th I found more friends who were hooligans. I myself, when I want to learn a quality, usually gather with a person who has it and absorb from it. Honestly, my hooligan environment at school taught me a lot. In general, the class hated me because I can't stand simplicity and I don't get smeared, also my style is more eccentric, I like to talk, I'm interested in make-up and there were rumors that I was bloated or a whore. I'm from a small town, Honestly, I'm used to everyone looking at me, because my style is really quite different - I wear make-up every day, it's my hobby, I like shiny or colorful clothes, I also had colored hair. Well, it's normal for them to look at me. Since the 9th grade I travel here and there alone, our people didn't always know, because they wouldn't let me go, separately and I often walk around the city alone. I like to always have time for myself, although I have a lot of friends right now. Honestly, it helped me a lot that I learned to be self-sufficient and to take time for myself. Again, I'm not the most sociable, but I certainly don't have a social phobia. I admit that wherever I go, I usually attract negative attention without people talking to me yet. I don't like fakes, I don't like to pretend and inflate. I don't like anyone else to treat me like that. I have all kinds of interests - I love cinema, theater, travel, I played the guitar, I love concerts and music, I go with friends and to the chalgoteka, I have all kinds of friends. I'm just natural - whatever I do, I do. I don't like to judge and gossip. So the first thing to start with is to get to know yourself and get used to yourself. The second is to make even one friendship, but to be real. Surround yourself with people who pull you up and accept you. You know, once I succeeded, so can you! Success! The second is to make even one friendship, but to be real. Surround yourself with people who pull you up and accept you. You know, as soon as I succeeded, so can you! Success! The second is to make even one friendship, but to be real. Surround yourself with people who pull you up and accept you. You know, once I succeeded, so can you! Success!
I will tell you a secret - no one is 100% brave or strong. These are some wonderful qualities, but they are against human nature, they are built independently by the person and you fight for them to the end, even when you have already won them. We are all afraid. And the first year in a new city is a huge challenge, to which everyone starts with excitement and anxiety. I will tell you that I was also very close as a student. It was difficult to communicate and I could not relax in front of more people. Everything changed when I decided to fulfill one of my dreams. I participated in an Erasmus project and had the opportunity to go practically abroad. I came to a whole new place and I was with people I didn't know until now. After the first week, going out in the center, I stopped caring about people. There were an awful lot of people there than I had ever seen in one place. Everyone was dressed differently, no one followed a specific fashion. Everyone was looking at themselves and their friends. Even if someone commented on me, I didn't know because I didn't speak the language well. Before I left, I expected that for 20 days I would be alone and not be able to relax, because the spaces will be bigger and the passers-by more. The opposite happened. One gets lost in the crowd, stops caring, and begins to find different ways to express oneself. The same thing can happen to you, you should not leave with a bad attitude. When I finished 12th grade I had a lot of worries. I didn't want to leave my hometown because I adore it. I missed my family and my friends were in other cities. I did not leave forever, nor do you leave forever. You're going to study, and then you are free to return to your hometown or go somewhere else. You have to last only 5 years, you will not feel how they will pass and you will go home more often to relax your soul. In a very extreme case, you can go into part-time study and return to your hometown. Everything will be fine, you will be predisposed to communicate and overcome your fears. In the first year, everyone is looking for friends, you just have to greet and smile more. I believe that you will succeed, because there are many students who dropped out, but there are also many graduates. Follow your dreams, I think this is a sufficient incentive to overcome all obstacles. you can go into part-time study and return to your hometown. Everything will be fine, you will be predisposed to communicate and overcome your fears. In the first year, everyone is looking for friends, you just have to greet and smile more. I believe that you will succeed, because there are many students who dropped out, but there are also many graduates. Follow your dreams, I think this is a sufficient incentive to overcome all obstacles. you can go into part-time study and return to your hometown. Everything will be fine, you will be predisposed to communicate and overcome your fears. In the first year, everyone is looking for friends, you just have to greet and smile more. I believe that you will succeed, because there are many students who dropped out, but there are also many graduates. Follow your dreams, I think this is a sufficient incentive to overcome all obstacles.
Go to the other city, but only if you have a trusted friend who will also go. If you leave alone, as insecure as you are, gloomy days await you. And if you go to Sofia, the collision with reality will affect you even more.
“Until you jump in the water you will never learn to swim!” Yes, with a character like yours it will be difficult for you, the news will scare you, you will be terrified to death, you will miss your family madly and you will travel every week for the first months to see them. Old and familiar things, friends, even things you don't pay much attention to at the moment will make you suffer because you are not at home. However, in time you will overcome your fear. You will meet new people in the course, you will see that they are like you and together you will give yourself courage. And they will be scared and they will talk to their parents on the phone every night for hours and wander around until they get used to the situation, so it's not scary! One learns! I was like you, but it was even scarier for me because I went to study abroad. I didn't know anyone, I didn't know the language either, my course was in English, but not in an English-speaking country, my family was a thousand miles away from me ... madness and panic! However, I survived! And not only did I survive, but after a few months I was so used to everything that it was worth it to me that my dormitory was my home. Don't give up on your dreams because of your stupid fears! If you do, you will regret it. And if you overcome your fear, you will achieve your dreams and one day you will be very proud of yourself. Just a little courage! You're not alone! We are thousands like you who have gone this way. you will achieve your dreams and one day you will be very proud of yourself. Just a little courage! You're not alone! We are thousands like you who have gone this way. you will achieve your dreams and one day you will be very proud of yourself. Just a little courage! You're not alone! We are thousands like you who have gone this way.