I'm a young girl. Sometimes I worry a lot. I'm worried about using public toilets. When I go to a disco or coffee with my friends and go to the toilet, I can't do my job. It sucks because you feel like you can't walk. Last week I couldn't go to the disco toilet and peed while a friend and I were coming home. I was very ashamed. In the morning I went to the pharmacy and got diapers for adults. I have been wearing them for a few days now when I go out and they help me, but if I go out with a boy and then he takes me to his apartment and sees me in diapers, I will be ashamed. Maybe it's all psychological. How can I overcome my fear of using public toilets?
Answers 12
Why exactly are you afraid? Did you have an unpleasant experience?
With humor. Laugh, take it on the funny side. You are not told to sit down.
The condition is called paruresis, I think there is no complete solution to the problem, and I'm still looking, but practice shows otherwise. There are authors of books in English, but how can one be sure that what they write (that they have managed to heal) has worked? !! How will they prove it? Some people can't get out of them, others can't in public places. The problem is mentally based, and from there it has a physical effect - it shortens the muscle that prevents urination. The fear of not being heard or the fear of not being heard that you are failing, from which you begin to lose confidence, and in your mind, "Well, if I fail now," a vicious circle ensues. A person who has not experienced it (and better not to), can not understand. That's why people won't be able to give you permission, you have to look for what works for you. The reasons are most often mental from what I read about other people, for me they were physical and for other reasons they became psychological and hence a vicious circle. You can control it to some extent, but there are limits, so I tell you that it may not be a complete cure unless you lose your memory.
If you are afraid of hygiene, I will tell them that research shows that sinks are much dirtier. You don't seem natural, you just squat and pee. So what?
Just carry a folding chemical toilet in your pocket - this way you will use it with both your girlfriends and your boyfriend.
I don't know, but I was, and I am, if I make a living while traveling by car. Good luck and find the reason why you are afraid of public toilets! One girl
You don't seem to be mentally well. Explain why you are worried about using public toilets. And how do you use the toilet in your home. Well, use public toilets in the same way. You are mentally ill.
Just use them straight ... don't sit down.
Up to 3 I found out about paruresis from you. I will look for information. I block if there are other people in the toilet of the restaurant and I can't do my job. And if someone presses the handle on my door to check if it's locked, I block again. If I go with a girlfriend it's the same situation. Also if they're waiting for me to go out.
A fear can only be overcome if you confront it, you can't drive like that all your life.
Up to 11 out of 3. Yes, you just block and it doesn't work. However, you should not push yourself so as not to get a hernia. Probably the fear was triggered either in childhood, if they disturbed your peace while you went to the toilet, or as some girls and women realize that it is bad if they hear them while they are in the toilet and it deepened. 12 is right to some extent, but not quite. Now, for example, if someone with such a condition has to travel to another city or country, they will not be able to. According to how deep the condition is, the person may not be able to get out of them. On the paruresis forums, on long air travel, some carry a catheter, while others squeeze for hours if they are on a boat in the sea, which starts to hurt due to the inability to relieve. In big countries, it can only take hours to get to work ... The first and most sensible thing is to see under what conditions and circumstances you can. Remember whether this blockage occurs in every public place or only in certain places, also consider whether it happens when you are visiting someone (and not in a public place). Think about where you can and where you can't. Also think about whether you succeed if there are no people in a public place, for example, if no one goes to the toilet. When they wait, the fear is "what if they linger, what will they think?" And here the thought begins to boil, and from there comes a physical blockage, and if you fail, you gain even more insecurity, and from there fear and it already depends on how much the fear will deepen. You live in your head. This fear is not unlocked like that, out of nowhere. There was a reason. One becomes like crazy because one begins to be afraid of things that haven't really happened yet, "well, if I go out and I get income and I fail, and I'm in a place far from home, what will I do? "and if you really fail, the panic comes, and from there a vicious circle begins. In reality, in my opinion, the problem can be solved at 65-75%. So far, I see it that way. In general, I will give it to you. techniques that will give you some permission, at least to some extent direction to work: 1. Fear is in your head and is related to other people, your mind plays scenes that you are afraid of. In case you sometimes fail at home ( if the toilet is close to a place where people often stand, such as the kitchen, living room, etc.), something like, "Well, if I go in now, but it's slowing down, what will our people say to each other?" If I go in and you don't hear me walking, then what will they think "and things like that. -After all sorts of experiments, the truth is that no one is impressed by such things, because everyone lives in his own head and is interested in his thoughts ... "will they transfer an advance to me", "will I be able to take Goshko from the garden on time? if I fail ?! ", so even if you sit for 2 hours, you will see that no one cares much, but your head does not think so and the trick is to lie to her. But it doesn't work, you can't lie to her that you're calm. If you're worried, it's blocking. You have to be calm, you would be completely calm in a place where no one ever enters. If you are a student and yours are gone and at work, you will be calm all day. If you could create such peace in any situation, that would be the solution. In reality, however, it is very difficult. -When you're out and they're waiting it's usually "well, if I'm late, they'll think it eventually blocks if you hear people nearby. Try to be calm and that's it, see when you can and when you can't and draw your own conclusions.
And I hate public toilets and prefer not to use them, not for hygiene or anything, but for the simple reason that I'm constantly afraid that someone might come in. : D I always lock, but then a wonder begins: what if it is not locked? If someone enters? But let me tell you, I started to care. It's all in the head. Should I worry about such nonsense ...