How Did You Experience The Separation From Your First Love?

Hello :) I know I'm asking about the experience of separation, but in fact it hasn't happened to me yet. The boy I'm with now is definitely my first love. I haven't had such strong feelings for someone else and sometimes I think I won't. We are together in August 2011, but nothing has been going on for the last 3-4 months. He started behaving rudely, we haven't seen each other for over a month and we won't see each other soon because he doesn't want to see me or he's busy with me, we are constantly arguing about some nonsense. He told me the other day that he would forget me forever if I didn't pretend to be good when I was bad; some time ago he told me that I was nothing to him, because his great love is his ex, etc. I told him that I was tired of him forgetting me when he wanted him so much and the next day he was ready to '' changed '' because '' he loves me ' '.. I don't think this man has any feelings for me, but he claims he loved me. I realize that tears with him are much more than smiles, that I humiliate myself, begging him to come out with me and enduring his every refusal. He is the person who has caused me the most pain in my life, and I love him. I realize that if I stay with him I will only suffer, but I no longer see the point, he just proves to me how much it is not worth. I tried to break up with him several times, but I couldn't. I know he won't care, but I'll be torn in pain without him. I can't last an hour without it appearing in my mind, as a total fool I hope that one day things will get better, that we will be like in the beginning again. I talked to him about it, but it only got worse, I made him angry. I was ruined and he knows it, not moved. He tells me he's an idiot and I don't deserve that kind of treatment, that I am his princess, and the next day everything repeats itself. I'm tired of crying all day, waiting for the impossible. I just want a little love, intimacy, I want to see each other as a normal couple almost every day, not once every 2-3 months (it wasn't like that before, but even then we saw each other once every 2 weeks, because he prefers to play CS before that to go out with me), but I also know that this cannot happen. Tell me how to leave it without hurting myself For me, there will always be that "what if it changes", that's why I can't end it .. Thanks in advance :) but even then we saw each other once every 2 weeks, because he prefers to play cs rather than go out with me), but I also know that this can not happen. Tell me how to leave it without hurting myself? For me, there will always be that "what if it changes", that's why I can't end it .. Thanks in advance :) but even then we saw each other once every 2 weeks, because he prefers to play cs rather than go out with me), but I also know that this can not happen. Tell me how to leave it without hurting myself? For me, there will always be that "what if it changes", that's why I can't end it .. Thanks in advance :)