Hello! My story will probably be a little strange for most of you, but I feel quite confused and there are not many people I can share it with. I am 25, a year ago I ended a 4 year relationship. I had a lot of expectations, I often think of him, but things are such that we can't get back together. I've been dating different guys ever since, and I'm pretty disappointed. Everyone is looking for mostly fast sex, I can't imagine how something more serious will happen to them. And I want that and I like things to happen slowly, patiently and without unnecessary emotions. At the beginning of the year I started dating an acquaintance. He is well known, before that we only knew his names. We liked each other from the first moment, I hadn't felt this feeling for a long time. We had a very good time, after about 2 weeks he invited me to them. I felt offended and cut him off, but not completely. I also made the mistake of sharing it with mutual friends and it came to him. He started to act a little more withdrawn, but he didn't lose interest and we kept going out. At the same time, I met others. After about a month, one night I couldn't stand the way he was looking at me, I decided to let things happen on their own, and hugs and kisses followed. I cut him off again when it came to sex, but he stayed with me. I don't know what happened to me, I was drinking. I thought of a bunch of things like, my ex-boyfriend, other options, the fear of re-engaging with a hard ending, and I told him to just forget about it and not comment on it anymore. We didn't see each other for a while, but we wrote and heard each other almost every day. He wanted to talk, but I turned away. He became more withdrawn, evident when we met later. I felt disappointed with another resignation two months later and ignored him when he looked for me. I started dating someone else and, ironically, one day we ran into each other. I was extremely embarrassed and dumb because I had lied to him about my plans the same day. Of course, from that moment on, his attitude changed completely. I had asked him to buy me some medicine for my mother from abroad, as he was walking for a few days. He just told me he would do it and that's it. This irritated me and I reacted too sharply to his words. I keep thinking about him. I feel like I lost a very valuable person with whom things could go the way I always wanted. And it all happened before it started. We tried to write to each other, but we had nothing to say. I don't want to have sex that way either. Now I feel alone and confused and I don't know how to find my way to him again. And that drives me crazy.
Answers 11
Talk to him, explain to him how you feel, find out who wants and expects what from the other, etc. Explain to him why you behaved in this way, as it was said, do not give up something you think about every day. Good luck :)
You screw up your relationship with everyone and then you complain. Stop hanging around and using people. Both repulsive in all sorts of ways and complaining that he is withdrawing. In his place, I would have fucked you a long time ago.
You are an extremely arrogant author .... you go out with a lot of men .... and your claims are not 1 or 2 ...
OK! Fine. You're playing him, not to say you're making fun of him! And you go out with others, but otherwise you hypocritically pretend to be chaste. I'm sorry, but your behavior is not appropriate for a 25-year-old woman, you're acting like a teenager, I'm sorry.
"I was disappointed with another resignation after two months." Understand, finally, that men are not a given to you and you cannot treat them with impunity in such an absurdly selfish and impudent way! You want him to walk on your ass and put up with your insulting attitude, until you finally overcome your irritability and insecurity and during that time he opens up to you, becomes vulnerable and you cut him and hurt him. After such episodes, do you know what happens? Such men, their wives become almost indifferent, they lose a lot of interest in sex or commitment and then there will be topics: "everything is fine, but he does not want to have sex, I feel rejected and offended" and this is for such reasons . You make men like that with this attitude.
What I can only say - the colleague strikes back, that is, fate. Even when you see him not giving up on the nonsense that happens, you should feel it. You had a difficult relationship, I'm even sure you didn't think so much the moment you kissed him, but for the next one ... you'll think :) There's nothing you can do, move on, it's a farted cause, the good thing about it is that he escaped with very few casualties;)
Look, it's your fault. This is yours "itching, hurting, my dear". How long have you been thinking of playing this man? That and drugs for your mother to buy !! You don't deserve it, let him find it.
This woman has no pleasure ... Isn't he your dog? Aren't you the only one with a kitten? At the age of 25, a virgin should spend 2 months cutting it off, and finally, bye ... Bye, buy your mother medicine ... The man told you well ... He was still polite and still didn't refuse.
You write that he still agreed to buy the medicine. Accordingly, you will be seen to give them to you. At this point, it's your option to do something. But until then, you have to decide exactly what you want and whether you want it at all. The man is obviously fed up after so much unwinding. But the feelings do not go out all at once, usually someone puts them out, but there is always a small flame burning. Success!
You have a minimal chance, but you have to take initiative. You sent him to the reserves at some point, but he obviously doesn't want to stay there, and he doesn't have to. At 25 things are not like at 18. There are no friend zones, unwinding, etc .... No one will sit and wait for you while you choose and nurture your self-esteem with a circle of pursuers. See yourself, show him how you feel, show him that he is your option and things can happen. :)
You have lost his trust, at the moment he has no desire to see you, what is left to go out. However, not everything is lost, there are few people who would stay in one place for so long. As they said in the comment above, at the moment the initiative is entirely in you. If you sit and wait for him to call or write, this is unlikely to happen. Strange as it may seem in women's minds, he may be expecting the same. There's nothing stopping you from trying to find it. But you have to show him that you are serious and this behavior was rather accidental. At the moment, in his eyes, you are just a grown teenager who lost his time. And most importantly - to overcome your ego. Yes, I know this is not easy, but in this case it is the only option if you want to continue with this person, and not only that. Regardless of the result and most importantly - just change your attitude about the meetings. And it's not easy, I know. You are currently in an endless cycle that is very likely to be repeated with another. Don't think about your ex-boyfriend or option B while dating someone. Focus entirely on the specific meeting and the person at the moment. If things happen, fine. If so, don't move on to the next one, but don't come back here.