Hello, my daughter has been in a relationship with a married man for several months. They are 20 years apart from my daughter. When I objected to the connection, she turned to him and stopped talking to me. He is obviously adjusting and manipulating her. I want to mention that he is not with him because of money or various benefits that young girls stumble upon. Until this case we had a perfect relationship, we understood each other a lot. I'm sick now. I do not know what to do. We didn't fight. I just said my opinion about her relationship and motivated myself why I was against it. She has been avoiding our conversations ever since. He's not looking for me. We do not live together and our contacts are only by phone. What to do? Should I talk to him? Waiting for the connection to end? I'm afraid I'm losing my child, and I can't agree that her happiness could be this relationship.
Answers 50
Leave her alone to learn from life. You better not judge her so that she may have your support one day if necessary. If it is not necessary, then the choice is the right one. It doesn't matter what she looks like from the side, the important thing is that she is happy, and only she can judge that!
I am a mother in the same situation. Absolutely the same !!!! I can't get into my skin. It's easy to say - leave it. Just as you say, Author, we were friends until He appeared ... It is not for money - he is naked and barefoot, but ours is insured. Now behave rudely "I said" or "I decided" this is. In another article these days I read advice again to a mother with a problem with a daughter one of the comments I liked, saying, manipulate, try to get into the stream and manipulate, but I can't. Sometimes I get angry and scream. I hope I manage to humble myself and start a normal dialogue, and I want so much to return to normal relations - relations as before on the same level. Without suspicion - because now I don't trust her, I don't trust her at all. Good luck and I will read your posts with interest - because the same thing excites me.
I think like Nr. 1. Give? to understand that he can always count on you for support, help, comfort ... But don't interfere. Let her realize the mistake herself. Don't go to him, grit your teeth, do nothing. Otherwise, he may turn it against you and fall victim to a "conspiracy." Don't give him that trump card. The most important thing is to keep a good relationship with the girl, not to quarrel. When the relationship breaks down, she will need you. It is better for her to gain a negative experience and not repeat her mistake, instead of thinking various nonsense such as: "He could have been my great love if his mother and wife had not separated us" and others. floor, which would only push her back into his arms. He doesn't make them "Romeo and Juliet" by force. God help the girl to see! BM
Sometimes such relationships are much more valuable and nutritious than anything you can imagine. But you don't seem to be afraid for her, but for yourself, and especially for breaking your prejudices ...
Hello, no matter how old your daughter is, there will always be a rule - mother and father to talk there, I will do what I want. If you want to influence your daughter in a positive way, change tactics. That is, stop blaming her for her choice, and say that once she has decided so, she will bear the consequences (even if you don't think so, tell her), but in spite of everything, you will remain her support and support. The important thing is that she trusts you again and shares with you, not has a defensive position. It will be difficult and slow, but it is better than rejecting you and accepting you as a judge, and it will keep you informed about their relationship. From what has been written, it is clear that your daughter has been independent for a long time, it is possible that men her age seem too immature, because she already has some experience with life alone. Look for the reason why she turned to this age group, ask her to explain to you whether she generally likes more mature men or whether things have happened that way at the moment. Talk to her calmly and do not rebuke her, no matter how tense you are. Show her that she can be trusted to make the daughter-mother-friend relationship, not the mother-executioner daughter. Ask her to search the forums for this type of link, read the comments carefully, and draw her own conclusions. There are dozens of similar topics on this site alone, and the comments are more than impressive and I would quickly dismiss it. Did she have other friends or was this her first relationship? Many young girls are disgusted by the frankness and vulgarity of their peers (What a fuck she has, she's a cool girl) and a number of other cynicisms, and one man has a different behavior, different manners, experience and knows how to approach properly. It is very important to find out about her whether she has hopes in this relationship or just the thrill of the forbidden, the secret keeps her with him. Don't blame her for his lawful wife, it will make her feel bad and bring them even closer, and she may feel proud that he prefers her to his wife (female malice, what to is done :)). The other option is to talk to this man and ask him what his motives are (nothing that is clear to you), find out what he wants from her and how much he is willing to continue his relationship with her and try to get them. tabs. In general, such relationships do not last long, there are few cases with a happy ending, so they can soon break up without your intervention. Alas, it depends on how smart your daughter and you are to find the cause of this incident and if the mistake is in you to try to fix things. Good luck!!! F, 20y
I was impressed that the more the parents interfere, the more the children withdraw from them. It is normal to feel this way considering his age and his marital status, but no matter how much you tell her, she will not change her mind, you just push her towards him even more. For me, sooner or later this relationship will end and then it is good to have a good relationship to have a shoulder to share. That's why it's best for me to call her and say you've reconsidered your attitude. Tell her that you still don't take this relationship for granted, but you find it big enough for her to judge for herself, and that you will respect her choice without interfering with her, even though you find it wrong. After this conversation, do not raise the issue of this man. I guess it will be difficult for you to keep quiet when you think something is wrong, but for me this is the right choice. You can't decide your daughter's life and keep your relationship at the same time. Ana
Sit on your ass and don't get confused. I will never, ever forgive my mother for interfering in the most base and vulgar way in my relationship and destroying it. I have decided for myself that one day when she grows old and squats down to look at her, I will let her die like a dog. You don't want your daughter to do the same to you, do you?
And I don't think you should be confused, just be by your daughter's side. No ? It is easy to read the stories of lovers on this site - it is a huge mental strain and exactly the rejection of the most beloved people is the biggest fear of a woman in this situation. I did well and did not share it with my parents and relatives. After many years together, my friend divorced and we got married. Today we have our children, business, great success in life, we are inseparable and we are a very good team in life and work, but we went through the fire to be together. I didn't trust my mother at the time and I see that my decision was the right one. Today my parents are the happiest grandparents in the world, no one suspects my past with my husband.
Until №7 As a girl decides, if you think that your mother is your biggest enemy - a dog, act! This is what your children will do to you - the wheel is spinning! I am №2. Thank you guys! I'm not right about having sex with my daughter, I'm not! But apparently I haven't overcome it yet. I will try to listen to your advice. Thank you! It's certainly quite difficult for me now - but I have to! Thank you again!
To the author and number 2, a daughter writes to you. I have never had an affair with a married man, or with anyone much older than me, a simpleton, or anyone with obsessive-negative qualities. However, my mother always interfered with unpleasant comments and expressing thousands of doubts about how this or that would spend me. Doubts grew into accusations that I was lying to her - something I never did because she was my best friend. And at that moment something broke. She didn't trust me and was automatically no longer my friend, she didn't give me support or even understanding. I got married, of course, without her approval. She never bothered to meet the boy, but still, he was bad in her eyes. She suggested that he beat me and I hid :) And he's just a sweetheart ... I cut off contact with my mother, focused on my family and I am happy. BUT her behavior and disapproval still haunt me. I often find that when I take an important step in my life - change my major or get pregnant, book a trip, I still mentally realize that my mother would not approve. And I'm sad. My advice is not to lose the trust of your children, trust them and they will appreciate it. Otherwise, the ties between you will be broken and if they do not end, they will remain formal.
From 8 to 9, it is obvious that you are not a simpleton, that you are a normal and understanding woman. I advise you to stop giving intelligence to your daughter and just be her mother, yes? you give support and love, whatever you do in your life. At the time, I decided to be with a married man who is 20 years older than me and I decided not to share my secret with anyone, to carry the negatives myself, but one thing I will tell you - I almost committed suicide, because there was no mother, father, brother, friends for me - you hide everything and live alone in your peas, your inner struggle. If my friend hadn't divorced and decided not to stand behind our relationship, to stand behind our love, I wouldn't be here today to write and share. I am sure that my family would not support me, although today there is no one better than their son-in-law. Such love is difficult to understand, difficult to support, but it exists. I speak from personal experience. We do not regret anything in our lives. Even our children do not know that their parents have been together for 17 years, and like everyone else they believe that we met after his divorce. Our marriage is preceded by a great secret and a great ordeal for us. Nobody found out about our relationship and that's fine. I think it's hard as a mother not to interfere, but to support your daughter in such a relationship, but if you fail to do so, the consequences will be terrible. As a mother and wife, I will support my children in all their decisions and be by their side in their pain and sorrow. That's why they are parents. I will never leave my daughter without motherly love if she is to go with Troll. My family is proof that such love and relationship have a future. that their parents have been together for 17 years, and like everyone else they believe that we met after his divorce. Our marriage is preceded by a great secret and a great ordeal for us. Nobody found out about our relationship and that's fine. I think it's hard as a mother not to interfere, but to support your daughter in such a relationship, but if you fail to do so, the consequences will be terrible. As a mother and wife, I will support my children in all their decisions and be by their side in their pain and sorrow. That's why they are parents. I will never leave my daughter without motherly love if she is to go with Troll. My family is proof that such love and relationship have a future. that their parents have been together for 17 years, and like everyone else they believe that we met after his divorce. Our marriage is preceded by a great secret and a great ordeal for us. Nobody found out about our relationship and that's fine. I think it's hard as a mother not to interfere, but to support your daughter in such a relationship, but if you fail to do so, the consequences will be terrible. As a mother and wife, I will support my children in all their decisions and be by their side in their pain and sorrow. That's why they are parents. I will never leave my daughter without motherly love if she is to go with Troll. My family is proof that such love and relationship have a future. that it is difficult as a mother not to interfere, but to support your daughter in such a relationship, but if you fail to do so, the consequences will be terrible. As a mother and wife, I will support my children in all their decisions and be by their side in their pain and sorrow. That's why they are parents. I will never leave my daughter without motherly love if she is to go with Troll. My family is proof that such love and relationship have a future. that it is difficult as a mother not to interfere, but to support your daughter in such a relationship, but if you fail to do so, the consequences will be terrible. As a mother and wife, I will support my children in all their decisions and be by their side in their pain and sorrow. That's why they are parents. I will never leave my daughter without motherly love if she is to go with Troll. My family is proof that such love and relationship have a future.
Why do you have to "get her out"? !! I guess she is not a minor, which means that she can make her own decisions, whether they are right or wrong - aren't the wrong ones our lesson? !! At 19, I met a man, then about 40. I was fed up with boys around and close to my age, who seemed to be just entering puberty and their thoughts were only on parties, drunkenness and sex. This 40-year-old man impressed me with his behavior - a real gentleman, polite, reserved, kind, well-read. He didn't "stab" me, but made me arouse my interest and take the first step. I don't know if it was just sex for him, but for me it was definitely not just that. I enjoyed talking about different things, I liked how everything he did was somehow more interesting. I knew there was a woman, I knew that I was a mistress, I also knew that my role would end there. I was aware when I started seeing him. The mistake and the bad come when the girl starts not looking at things realistically and imagines that "he will leave his wife and marry me ...". Such scenarios are extremely rare. In 99% of cases, men either care a lot about their legal spouses and under no circumstances leave or change young girls during the week. Our "relationship" lasted several months and I saved myself from telling anyone because I knew from the beginning what it would be like and how they would try to teach me. Today I am 26, happily in love, I am about to marry a man a little older than me and I do not regret that adventure. It was good for me at the moment, and the man taught me a lot of things. My advice to you is to leave things as they are. By constantly forcing your opinion, you will further repel your daughter, who will sooner or later realize. You just be by her side and respect her decisions. I put myself in your shoes, if one day I have a daughter and find out that she is seeing a much older man, I will hardly be delighted, but bans and ultimatums are useless. Even the effect is worse.
Hello, I am № 2. To №10 I would like to share with you, not to advise you. What would I want from my daughter. It is not to speak egocentrically, arrogantly, to show that I am important to her and to rebuke me with words, not to drown me with malice. To try to tell me or show that he cares about my opinion- But ... and to speak out. Try it this way. So I think you will be able to regain your trust, understanding, respect. Because I think that love has not disappeared. The helplessness in the dialogue, if there is one at all, and the attempt to dominate the mother, saying to her: "I said," I am "" I decided "" You can't tell me "the situation is heating up. You are a mother, as I understand it and try to shoe and her shoes.Just try to talk.Let the first friendly step or "advice" asked of you, show her that it is significant. This is how your relationship will start. I hope I'm right. I just told you what hurts me a lot. Thank you!!!!
To H13 from H10. Thank you for the advice! Honestly, however, I have no bold expectations for the future. I have always been very gentle with my mother, I have explained to her for hours but she just doesn't believe a word. Not just mine, but no one's. The problem is deep inside her and I am familiar with it even before it affects me personally. That's why I tried to be moderate and kind in my statements, to show her that she was wrong, but ... Your daughter's behavior is different, maybe because of a teenage hormonal imbalance or simply because this is her first field of self-expression as a woman and trying to convince herself that she is mature and grown up. Please don't shout! Whatever happens, even if she got pregnant by him! She will just hate you. Act like a psychotherapist - listen and guide her in her thoughts with questions (not comments!), so that she can come up with the right answers on her own ... sooner or later. And what is right, even you can not be sure, as evidenced by one of the comments above. Sometimes such a seemingly impossible love turns out to be real and survives. Thanks again for your support!
"He's obviously setting her up and manipulating" off, starting like this ... your daughter is not 2 years old, she's 20. I guess she has her own opinion, which she stands for. I am against relationships with married men ... and they are short-lived, filled with illusions that you are in love with this man and almost - you can not do without him. I am sure that in 1-2 years at most, your daughter will stop seeing him and will forget him.
I don't think you should interfere. Sooner or later she will see that he will not divorce and only uses her. For example, while he is with his family, she may meet a suitable boy. Do not interfere directly in her life, because then she will hate you and accuse you of being the reason for the breakup of this relationship. I tell you from experience. As a teenager, I went with a boy. Peer. Our people did not approve of him for other reasons. Now it doesn't matter what. They took me home with the police. They paid the police to detain him for 24-48 hours. They were trying to bribe him to leave me. Fortune tellers and fortune tellers went around just to separate us. True, he really wasn't a commodity. but I continued to be with him both because I loved him and because they stubbornly insisted on parting with him. One fine day he abandoned me and married another. I will not describe how I experienced it. To this day, I think that if they had accepted him at least a little, we would not have parted with him. I will not forgive them all this. Not that they made him leave me, but ...
Hi, 3 years ago and I started a relationship with a married man, we were 27 years apart. He was cute, and something in him made me want him, I could see the passion in his eyes and imagine how good it would be. And so it was. Until my mother understood, she burst into nerves just on Christmas Eve and served me: Why are you sleeping with him? I lied, I smeared, but she knew people saw me, no matter how much I hid. It wasn't for money, just because of the sex, we saw each other 1-2 times a week, and I seemed tired of sex after this incident, it's true that it was great, but it wasn't normal, we talked a lot with him on all sorts of topics, he gave me advice that I will always remember, advice that another man would never give me, I had someone to share and help me. Time passed and so it happened 1 year then a few more months and I'm tired of being blown off my head, my conscience began to gnaw at me, but only briefly. And it all happened all of a sudden. I never had feelings for him, just a crazy feeling of wild passion. So leave her to fend for herself, if it is written she will leave it, for my mother every relationship was a mistake, and for me it was not so, for me it is an experience that I would never give up even if I could return time back.
Well ... I am both a daughter and a mother to a son ... a long time ago, when I made my (from the current point of view - wrong) choice, my parents did not criticize me, did not try to change my decision ... Father instead of blessing, he told me an old saying - "She fell alone, she cried alone ..." ... After a while, when I realized my mistake, they accepted me silently again ... and helped me raise my son ..... so ... everyone lives their life and makes their decisions ... learns from their mistakes ... falls and stands up ... g50
It may not be easy for you to accept this situation, the best thing now is not to object. You will see for yourself how quickly and easily your daughter will come to the decision to withdraw from the Lord on her own, but if you put pressure, even if she does not follow your bagpipe, she can stay with him for many years. The principle is, whether you like it or not is your problem. Just leave her, just tell her THE POSSIBLE disadvantages of a relationship with a 20-year age difference and say that from then on she is FREE to decide what SHE wants, not to carry out YOUR orders. Let her breathe freely, decide for herself, leave everything in HER HANDS at all, if you do not want to achieve the opposite effect. And let me add something: your daughter has not decided who you are happy with or not, so don't judge who she will feel with. Give freedom and remember: only then will she be able to look soberly at the situation, otherwise you are just keeping her on track to oppose YOU, but not to think about yourself and your needs. Make the fight her personal, not your cause. Dane, you understand me. If not, it's a pity ...
I am №2, №9, №13 To 10 Please try! You will succeed! Go out with her, talk, it's all about talking - I know I'm not the right person to give advice, because I'm here and as I said, there is still a problem with my daughter in the dialogues, but try! If your mother has a problem, help and solve it. We mothers also have problems, sometimes healthy, sometimes mentally. We also can't always get out on our own and we need help and know that no matter what she is, the mother always loves and will love her child - no matter how stupid mistakes she makes. She is also a human being, and life has certainly not been kind to her, things accumulate over time and she kills once. We may not be at your level, we may look dull, limited, old, but we are just tired ... Please try with your mother, she always wants to be next to you and behind you. He did it for me - even though we don't know each other - and maybe better, so we can be honest. The mother is one and will love you for the rest of her life - try it, please! I will wait for you to tell and tell. GOOD LUCK!!!
And I am the mother of a girl with such a relationship. It is not true that these relationships are short-lived, that they break up over time, etc. My daughter's relationship is more than 10 years old and there are no signs of breaking up. But no symptoms of attachment. I have never criticized her, I have no intention. It is her choice, and the consequences will be for her. I have suffered from an authoritative parent who always "knows" what is best. He ruined my life. I would never let that happen to my children. Be quiet, woman! Don't judge what is best for HER. You're already losing her. Do you really want it?
Tell her that he can be her father and whether it will be nice for his wife to find out that she has a relationship with a 20-year-old. If she doesn't listen to you, just leave her. She is already big, she can think for herself.
Call the police or threaten this man that you will tell his wife. Or go straight and tell her without letting him know. I know, it sucks ... but that's the only way, if you want to get your child back, you have to do it. You decide...
When little girls date much older men than them, it means only one thing. Emotional and physical absence of a father. These children did not have fathers or the fathers were not with them. I know many such stories. The girl needs to share with her father, but since there is no one, she chooses a mature man and subconsciously. But over time, they realize that this man can not fill this gap and most often separate. However, there are exceptions.
Wow, № 23, go get an estrogen pill, the critical one shakes you a lot. I still think that there is some hope for this country, but when I come across crazy cuckoos and I despair.
16, in your place I would draw that he married another, I would not blame my parents, since you yourself say that he was not a commodity 23, you are wrong, honestly. 13, why do you think that when you are told, "I said," I am, "" I have decided, "" You cannot tell me, "this is impudence or an attempt at domination over the mother? Thus she tells you that she is responsible for her own decisions and you can no longer decide for her, this is the truth, you just don't like it, in this case the relationship really seems hopeless, but there is nothing you can do with the direct approach you are You can only not lose touch with her, just listen to her, be close to her, and no, not all mothers love their children, no matter how unbelievable you are! I have witnessed the opposite.
Until №26 Thank you! As I said before- Thank you, Girls! I am a mother, but not the author. I said that this was useful to me and that is why I wrote - I wanted and still want to hear your opinions, as well as to try to follow your advice, as well as to return to my previous relationship with my daughter. I'm definitely wrong - there are no sinless people. I'm very wrong, but I've always wanted the best for her. I worship! Probably because she is my only child from the 4th, which I could not bear to the end. Surely this has turned me into a mother eagle- I do not want to justify myself, I do not want sympathy- I just share ... I love her very much, but I have not made her a lichgla- now this act has ruined me- I hope to be able to fulfill the orders you and return our relationship. Thank you guys!
23, sorry, are you okay? !! How low does a man have to fall to ring the police and desperate wives? First, the police have nothing to do in the case because the woman is an adult and infidelity is not prohibited by law. Second, things between the gentleman and his wife are their business, and any outside interference is undesirable. Third and most important - with such wild behavior a person only exposes himself, loses his dignity and erases his authority in front of the child! Author, if you listen to 23, not only will you NOT "get back" the child who is not really a child, but you will lose her forever. Will you lose trust and respect? with certainty, and you will turn the gentleman into a tragic hero. I believe you wouldn't want to ... BM / Nr. 3
"I want to mention that she is not with him because of money or benefits that young girls stumble upon" I would like to ask the author (I guess she is a mother, but it is not entirely certain, because very often fathers are more attached and suffering) how is he sure it's not because of BENEFITS? Nothing to say about the type of relationship - casual acquaintance in a restaurant, colleagues, boss - subordinate? It is of great importance. These relationships are NEVER accidental and are NEVER just falling in love. One always aims for some benefit. Again, it is of great importance because the author seeks advice and help, and each case is individual.
From №16 to №26. I didn't want to tell the whole story of how he left me and why he left me. When you don't know what exactly happened, don't talk. My parents are very much to blame for the breakup of this relationship. I will never forgive him for that. They could hardly open their home to him. I'm with someone else now, but I'm sure they won't approve of him either. I emphasize that he is not married. So, if God said, if things get more serious, I disappear and I will not give any explanations. I will no longer allow anyone to confuse me with anything. So that there are no things like, but I warned you. Now suffer by not listening to me.,,.
Abe, what will you support her. With a married man, 20 years older. Don't listen to the opinions of various spoiled girls here. You are a mother and you think well of your child, and what she does is not good for her at all. As you can see, there are people on both sides. If you think something is wrong, there is no way to support it in this regard. Let her shake her head and don't think who would look at you in your old age, those who want to trade in human relations will get their revenge on their own.
"You are a mother and you think the good of your child" ... it is from this refrain that it separates your children from you, dear mothers! Realize it! Give yourself stubbornness, finally, because otherwise you lose your daughters and sons! I love my mother and father very much, may God give them a long life and health, but I would not allow them to arrange my life and existence. Thank God, they don't, so we're close and even though I'm married and have a life of my own, I visit them every week and we spend all day together. We hear each other on the phone every day and we have a wonderful relationship. Because they respect me as a separate person, they don't consider me a 2-year-old child. Realize, dear mothers, your children are separate people and do not belong to you! I leave this for the "spoiled girls" without comment ... BM
Up to 32. Your tone is felt in the way you write. You also arrange, as you now say and cut on the forums - whether there will be a difference in your tone at home in years to come - like a sink. Here you tell about your contact with your parents, what will happen to your children? Maybe this is exactly the kind of contact we parents want here ... As I notice, you also sit on the forums, not only here, but why ... at least we admit that we have a problem and are looking for a solution, and you probably for diversity? !? !?
Abe, since when is it right to break up families. It was a great stress for her to blame her mother. It is not the mother's fault that her daughter is itching for that job and sleeping with married men. The woman is suffering and asking for advice, if we can't help, please don't judge her and ruin her anymore. Author, you have a complicated and difficult relationship with your daughter and it is right that you do not approve of such a relationship. In this case, she is an aggressor, she is doing the wrong thing and I think she knows it very well, so she is angry and avoids contact with you. It's just easier that way. I hope she starts biting her conscience and leaves the married man to her wife. No matter how much nonsense they write here, ruining a family is one of the most base deeds, and the truly hurt woman is the WIFE. You try to communicate with your daughter again, because I agree that she will need you in the end and that only you will comfort her in the end, when she will swallow the bitter potpourri she has crushed herself. Whatever happens, you are hurt, but not guilty, remember it. You don't have to approve of wrongdoing, but I don't think I'll listen to you at this point. If you don't interfere, it will be better, but don't let her think that such behavior is right. You will find the right way to communicate with her because you love her, not because it is right to spoil families. I wish you good luck. and not because it is right to spoil families. I wish you good luck. and not because it is right to spoil families. I wish you good luck.
Up to 34 Thank you! I think you came from the little one who didn't make fun of me. I don't like myself either - nervous crazy, roaring, but I will get better, or at least I promised myself, as well as I promised those who gave me advice supported by examples and a kind tone. Thanks!
To 33: When I look, my words have affected you a lot, maybe because they are true. Dominant parents, in general, hate to be reminded that their children are individuals. I made my statement for your own good (for you and other similar mothers). I mentioned my relationship with my parents because to me they are wonderful people - intelligent, tolerant, understanding. They live their own lives as a middle-aged couple, not fixating on mine or my sister's life. We have both chosen men for ourselves. Our parents approve of them, thank God, although if they were of the type "eternally dissatisfied parent, because she took my child", they would probably find something to hold on to - mine is more than 10 years older than me, and the chosen one my sister has no money and listens to "Metallica" ... One day, when I have the opportunity to become a mother, I would like to be like my parents. I wouldn't want to lose touch with my child because I'm trying to direct his life under the title "For Your Good." "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." I don't understand what you mean by "order" and "cut"? Maybe the willingness to defend my privacy, if necessary? Thank God, I don't have to do that, because my parents know what the border is that they shouldn't cross. But if they passed it, I would probably react. I don't see anything "brazen" in defining one's own life, even if one is wrong. You want contact. Know your place and you will have contact. I'm sorry if I sounded too direct, but I really believe it is. Why am I here in this forum? Unfortunately, I'm on sick leave for a year. When I'm done, and my husband is at work, I'm pretty bored at home alone. My friends and they are at work, and the weather outside is not suitable for going out. Since I can't read novels non-stop, sometimes I come in here and admit it, it's quite interesting to me. I hope I answered all your questions? BM (also number 32 and some later numbers :)
From 33 to 36. To heal quickly! I said you cut because you're as direct as I am. Quotes like "For your own good". "The road to hell is paved with good intentions" I do not use, because as you fight - so I fought in plain text - I do not like her husband, I hope I get used to it - somehow. Yes, he does not, but he is a wooden philosopher, he does not know and cannot do anything to the poor man. If she did not try to interfere in our relationship between the two and when she even came after me in the other room - he would follow her, this also applies to her father, as well as to interfere in our personal and family matters and to me. sets the tone in life / I'm talking about our property / I certainly wouldn't go crazy. Then, after a series of such cracks, and at the very beginning, I just exploded. I had nothing against him - you know, Nothing! Now I said, don't interfere in our affairs, when I can and I want her not to sit over my head when I talk to her and not to lean over her. Because, now she is in love, I fully understand, but at some point she will not like this behavior and now, even though she is on another planet, she will realize it. The good thing is that I grew up in a good family and mutual respect, so is mine - as you know we have a 1st child. The fact that the chosen one is gone - there is nothing wrong, but what he did is bad, and you already know what. It seems to me that there still had to be time for adaptation to see, judge and get to know us, not divide and rule - because you can not rule where you are not aware of the circumstances and after it is 1 and all It's hers to hear a line like "be careful what you sign for your mother" and that was his biggest mistake. How can he think - it's not his job, that after I have given her everything I can take from her, I have no other children, and it is not his job. Well, as I said, for now there is a truce and little contact with him. I hope he understood his mistake too. We are in remission ha ha ha. Hopefully we will be completely healed of the mutual rage, and the trust from here on out will be a long period, but I will not wait for a full recovery. I really wish you a speedy recovery, that you seem to be quite young, and life is ahead of you, you have to live it so that you are happy and all those you love! but nothing will wait for a full recovery. I really wish you a speedy recovery, that you seem to be quite young, and life is ahead of you, you have to live it so that you are happy and all those you love! but nothing will wait for a full recovery. I really wish you a speedy recovery, that you seem to be quite young, and life is ahead of you, you have to live it so that you are happy and everyone you love!
number 34, I'm sorry your husband dumped you for another woman, but read the scriptures and you'll find the real aggressor. I fully support number 36, but unfortunately my own mother is a provincialist, similar to the author herself and thank God she isn't? I confided my secret, because as much as my mother loves me, I know she is a short-sighted person in many ways, she has lived in a small town, married young and given birth to two children, and has generally always tried to fit in. what "people will say and what people expect from her." I don't think she's happy otherwise, I don't think marriage? he was happy, but people did not sleep for her in her difficult moments and loneliness. Author, I know you want the best for your daughter, but you're wrong about your personal mixing? life. If you can't help but provide the necessary moral and emotional support, at least don't bother, don't blame and don't harass. You don't know anything at all about the relationship between the two and you're not Vanga to say who loves whom and how the whole story will end. You also don't know what his family is, what kind of man his wife is and what his motives are to seek happiness and love elsewhere. Not the case of people like 34 who have been abandoned and hurt by their husbands, but look only at the interests of your daughter, and that means HER HAPPINESS. Your daughter does not spoil families in any way, she is not a married woman and is not currently divorcing. A family is ruined by married people, those who cheat and those who incite their spouses to cheat. The coin always has 2 sides, dear author and your daughter is aware of the circumstances surrounding her boyfriend's marriage, rest assured. And yes, I'm glad I didn't share my secret with my short-sighted mother. I love her and right? I spared the anguish of an age at which it cannot change and develop. Your daughter made a huge mistake by trusting you. Today, my mother enjoys a golden son-in-law and grandchildren, but no one knows that we have been together for more than a decade, that we have gone through the fire for our love. At number 34 I can say that I have never had problems with the community and I have never broken families, because there is no family and marriage without love and understanding. I myself have been married for years to the person in question and we have no problems. Our second child was recently born, I am currently a mother and there is no one who can interfere with our happiness. Author, look at your life as you cannot help your daughter, because if you continue in the same spirit, you will lose her. She will one day find the right partner for herself, this or that man, but you will not be there to look after your grandchildren, to see her happily married. Do not rush to thank people like number 34, because such people will be the first to throw a stone at your daughter and will not stop even lying already bloody on the floor. Open your eyes wide and do not be short-sighted and limited, because you can seriously harm your child and do not think that your daughter's love is due to you. It is full of daughters who have distanced themselves from their parents and have chosen to live their lives. There are people who even go missing, but in fact live their lives in another country to escape obsessive parents. Do not think that your daughter will forget the salty words she heard from her mother. Who knows, at the moment you may be fighting against your future son-in-law and the father of your grandchildren ... who knows? But one thing is for sure,
I adored my father. But he was too old! A 24-year-old girl talks about the traumas of having an older parent http://www.dnes.bg/mish-mash/2012/12/15/obojavah-tatko-no-beshe-tvyrde-star.175482
1. - Yes, that's why there are now 10 years. pregnant girls ....
Many useful tips were given to the author, such as those of № 36 and № 37. But I doubt that the author will do any of them. As soon as I read her first post, I got the impression that we are dealing with a not very intelligent woman, in menopause, narrow-minded and limited in thinking and understanding of life, complex, therefore striving to control everything and everyone. So I suggest people don't waste any more writing on her topic, because she's obviously headstrong and will end up breaking her head. Just like my mother, who "laid" so nicely in front of me that I won't even go to her funeral.
Why don't you read this and smell a little, huh? Especially the first and third comments ... http://spodeli.net/4/story-38447.html At the age of 20, what "escape" are you talking about, woman? If anyone has to get out of life ?, it's YOU!
to 41. Is your mother headstrong? !? !? !! She's going against you, are you? Well, don't go to the funeral - take a hook and throw it straight to the dump, but then show your child where you left it, so that he doesn't try to look for another, but with yours to drag you to the dump! The road to hell may be paved with your mother's good intentions, but you have been mentally dead for a long time! So be happy in your misfortune!
from № 41 to № 43: ha-ha-ha, believe in yourself and repeat it every hour, and in the end it may become true. When you don't know exactly what it's about, how did you decide that I'm black, and the bitch who gave birth to me is white. I'm sorry, but I can't call my mother the freak who ruined my life. May it burst and burn in hell!
42, the man in the story you are quoting has a fundamental difference from that in this story - he is not married, the only problem is the age difference. while in the author's story the gentleman apparently feels good with her daughter as a mistress. 41, don't you expect us to read minds and remember exactly what your mother did? of course, we judge only by what is written, and it, believe me, sounds ugly in this form. such tales do not speak well of you. hatred does not lead to anything good. but the topic is for the author. 38 has written true things, with which I largely agree, but still cases like hers are rare. the vast majority of adulterers have no intention of divorcing and starting over. but anyway the options in front of the author are not many, so it is best to stick to the last 2 paragraphs in the opinion.
Dear mothers, after the age of 18 your children are NO LONGER YOURS! They belong only to THEMSELVES, and their lives belong to THEMSELVES. Let them make their mistakes, love them and advise them, but DO NOT "PULL OUT" THEM, and DO NOT PUT YOUR GAGA WHERE YOU DO NOT WORK!
Hello, I am the author. Thank you to everyone who commented. All of them are useful to me both in those who criticize and reproach me and those with whom you support me. THANK YOU. I love my child very much, so I write here and look for answers to my questions. I want to find the right path to her, while respecting her personality and not interfering in her life and choices. Whatever happens, I will be by her side. There will be no greater joy for me if I see a smile on her face and I will suffer if she suffers. I rethought many things. You helped me a lot. I would very much like to contact the mother, whose daughter has a similar relationship, and the girl, who had such a relationship and is now happily married. If there is such an opportunity, please let the moderators tell me how to do it.
I'm the girl's mother with such a relationship, but I don't know how we can connect either. The site rules do not allow it. If you have any idea, I'm here for you.
Author, I am the woman who is happily married today. I think it's good to keep writing here. They don't publish contact details on the site anyway, and that's fine. I'm writing on the subject here because I think I can help at least from life experience, otherwise I don't think I have anything to say. For me, I can say that we will spend the holidays this year with his parents. He pays special attention to his children from his first marriage. Things are going well - we have many friends, we recently bought a house, tomorrow we go skiing. Are we sick? Yes, we had quite difficult years, but today we live happily ever after. Do not think that your daughter will be happy with some single. My girlfriends went through several relationships, were abandoned and crushed, and quite a few were abandoned with children, were they happier than me? Not to mention today. I'm married, who is more stable than hardened iron, I have a stable man next to me, we already have our own home, which we will pay together, we have healthy children. Are we sick? I advise you not to interfere in your daughter's life, let her make her own decisions, but just be by her side and support her. Only time will tell what will happen. In the worst case, their relationship simply will not last and they will separate. Is it? Wouldn't that? happened to some unattached? Be sure of one thing - at least this man will be careful not to? make a baby you can't expect from some irresponsible student to say. Look around you - it's full of grief outside - with sick, poor and abandoned people. Is your daughter so unhappy with this man? You have no idea, but one thing I can guarantee you, as a woman who has been through all this - if their relationship survives time and problems, from it will be born the most stable and healthy marriage. I don't want to get bored and give details, but we went through many, many problems and we really fought for the privilege of being together. All people believe that we have been together recently because we treat each other with boundless attention, love and tenderness. Our love story outlived not only his marriage, but also the marriages of my classmates and peers. Today I am married, I have a stable husband and father of my children, and they are divorced women with two children or are tired and exhausted after many consecutive relationships with inappropriate men. I'm not telling you that you have to understand your daughter. I respect your understanding of morality and way of life, but at least not? get confused and support her. This is the only way not to lose her as a daughter and a friend. Even if it doesn't work out with this man, she'll always know that you have been by her side and in the future, no matter what problems she has, she will look for you, and she will be by your side in case of illness and problems. However, if the relationship develops and grows into a marriage and a new family, there will be no more beloved and respected mother-in-law than you. Neither your daughter nor your son-in-law will forget your kindness and that you were by your child's side in difficult times when he could not. I am stronger and more pragmatic, obviously, than your daughter, and I have spared my loved ones the torment by keeping my relationship a secret. She didn't do well to tell you, but what happened happened. Author, I advise you never to seek contact with the man's mother or people around him. If your daughter finds out you're cooking gossip, that's the end of it. Who wants such a mother? Will you stab her in the back? The man's mother will otherwise protect his family, of course. LET YOUR CHILDREN LIVE THEIR LIVES, love them and trust them. They know what is best for them!
To number 50 I am the author. I wanted to meet in person to tell you my truth. But I will say it here, no problem. I'm just like you. With such a connection. My wife was married with a child. 15 years older than me. I have had a great marriage for 22 years. We love each other like crazy and neither he nor I regret the decision to be together. We have two great children, one of whom is my daughter I am writing about here. For so many years together, each day has been proof to both of us that we are two halves of one whole. we have achieved a lot together from absolute zero. I can say that now we are rich people who have traveled the world and seen a lot. The only thing I want is to protect my child is the filth that will be poured on her if they decide to be together, I don't know how it went with you, but I went through hell. I was called by names I didn't deserve, I was the dirtiest and meanest creature. That was many years ago, but people are the same. The wounds they inflict are deep. The oaths are heavy. My child is a unique young woman, she doesn't deserve it. I know that those who read will say lafa about the pear and the tree. Now I have proven myself, his family adores me. Ours and they. Well ... I swallowed so much, and I was so young and I was guilty only of my love. As you write, many of those who spat on me divorced and entered the history of the city with great simplicity. I know what you went through. I wanted to ask you if you have a baby girl? Put your hand on your heart and tell me how you will feel if it turns out like mine. I wish you luck and happiness, I know that the one who has fought for his love will fight for everything. Merry Christmas. To the other mother - I have no idea how to find each other, I see that it doesn't happen officially, but maybe there is a way. I also wanted to tell you my story and support each other in "clenching our teeth", we have no choice but to love our children. I try to be patient and delicate, but my soul is contorted. She may not be my luck, maybe it's a game of fate I don't know. God bless them.