How Do I Get Out Of The Hole I Got Stuck In?

Hello, I will try not to be another negative topic. For me, every problem has a solution. I want to find my solution and I just don't know where to start ... A lot of bad things happened to me, and in a heap, weren't there accidents, what weren't. I thought I was mentally stable, at first glance I look good, but in fact I have the feeling that from the outside I look inadequate. I suddenly became unable to work. I just give the impression that I'm as clumsy. I changed several jobs and everywhere people started behaving disrespectfully towards me. And this has never happened. I have always commanded respect with my words and deeds. It's just not me right now. Whether in a hole or in depression, I don't know anymore, I feel very stuck.

After another unsuccessful attempt to start work, for 1 year, I decided to take a 1 month break to stabilize mentally. During this 1 month I will train, walk in nature and try to find the answers to what I have and how I can recover. I need a restart in my life and I don't know where to start, many of the things that happened to me torment me. A lot of stupid things have happened to me and I want to change everything, start a new page and forget about everything until now. The problem to a large extent is that I pursued one goal for 3 years and in the end it seemed that this was not my goal, that I was deluding myself. I think that the reason for everything that happens to me is the inconsistency in my character and the excessive haste .... I am also alone, for a long time without a person next to me. Speaking for a long time ... 8 years. I used to have a normal life, but 8 years ago something happened to me, I took too much of one drug, pico and since then my life has changed radically. I wasn't a drug addict, I took it several times, but one time I overdosed and got a panic attack at a disco, I sweated all over and I haven't taken any drugs since, but I have something. I am 27 ..