First I want to say that sharing this story of mine, I realize very well that I will probably not get approval, but I just had a great need to share, because I can no longer stand !!! It all started two years ago, when on some common occasion the husband of one of my best friends told me that he liked me very much! I naturally did not pay attention to him because I thought he was joking or due to alcohol! But so it happened that I wanted to leave my old job and he offered me to start in his company! ...... And I started - that was my biggest mistake, but I realize it only now! During the first months everything was very good, until his wife had to be away from the state for a week! She hadn't left yet and he started sending me text messages, persuading me to go somewhere to a hotel, he just didn't stop ... ............... I don't know how to wind me, but one evening we went to a town near our town and there we took a hotel and .............. Since then I have been in a relationship with a married man and not just anyone, but the husband of the best my girlfriend! However, our relationship is a little different from the others, or at least I think so! We have a more platonic relationship, we see each other every day at work, we kiss and to that extent, sex is very rare! That's how things went, I didn't have feelings, I lived my life, but ......... one day he quarreled very seriously with his wife and moved away from them and was adamant that he would divorce! At first I was worried that he would divorce because of me and kept telling him that he was doing stupid things and insisting that he return to her, but he was adamant - it was not because of me, he was just tired, he had no feelings, etc. . I've been on my own ever since, I just think about it, I blame myself a lot, I don't know what I thought I could get from this man, and I've always wondered about these women who get involved. with married men, and here I am too !!!! I also realized that I am terribly jealous of his own wife !!! Otherwise, he continues to take down my stars, to explain to me how he has not yet changed his mind and will not go home, but at the same time he is with them! And I continue to get angry and go crazy every time my girlfriend tells me where are they and what will they do !!! I do not expect understanding, I know that only I am to blame and that the only option to stop is to leave work and minimize the views with them .................. I just have feelings and they are stronger than me now !!!!
Answers 10
I sympathize with you ... I know it's not easy for you ... I understand you, because I'm in a similar situation. Except I'm engaged, and the man I'm cheating on is free. That is, he is divorced ... And I have been married for many years and before I started dating I hadn't cheated, I didn't even think I was capable of that, but here that sometimes fate gives us surprises to find out, that there are moments when even we lose power over ourselves and our own will is not enough to stop and ... there is simply no insurance! And I assumed that I fell in love with the husband of a woman we hated. She was a real bitch, walking straight in front of his eyes like a mess with various men and doing it in pieces. He was kind and she was just kidding him. Well, at one point, the pot broke and they divorced. After the divorce, he happened to pass by my workplace on his way home from work. He was devastated, so devastated that my heart ached for him. It was as if his whole world had collapsed. And so, first of all, sympathy, regret ... At one point I began to realize that I was starting to look at him with different eyes. Something began to sweep my board ... I was so sorry when I looked at him that I began to feel the urge to calm him down, to hug him ... "I shout to myself:" I have brushed something, but it will pass! " Yes, but no! I completely scrolled. I started wanting him as a man and more and more ... I went crazy. I didn't know what to do with this thing. It was like an avalanche, like an element - uncontrollable, uncontrollable ... It was stronger from me ... I started acting like a teenager in love, and I passed the teenage age a long time ago, but ... :) So I started gravitating around this man ... It attracted me like a magnet, just like the light of a candle attracts a butterfly. I could get burned, but I didn't have the strength or the will to think about it. So I started going to the restaurant where he went. Hehe ... He still doesn't know that I went there because of him. :) It must have been a whole year to figure out where the wind was coming from and then more than half a year to make a connection. It was difficult and painful for me, because I acted very carefully and cautiously so as not to intimidate him, and there were no guarantees of success, so it was very difficult for me and I was quite harassed until I achieved what I was striving for. I still succeeded. I shook, I shook for this man, and finally I shook him. Knockout. It seems to have taken, that he liked it because our relationship has been going on for two years. Well, chat-pat makes thorns on my head, but I forgive him because I love him. And I felt so happy when I achieved the cherished goal ... :) It's as if I conquered Everest! :) He's an average man, he's neither Rockefeller nor Alain Delon, but I love him the way he is and I like him. Sometimes I feel remorse, but only sometimes ... In general, I enjoy the moments spent with him and do not draw any projects and plans for the future. I do not intend to spoil my family and upset my loved ones, so everything is done very carefully and very discreetly. It weighs on me, not that it doesn't weigh on me, but there's no other way. I really wish we could walk freely on the street, hug and kiss without worrying that someone will see us, but there is no way ... This is the situation. However, I decided that life is too short and too short for joy, and once I have the opportunity to steal a piece of happiness from it, I will do it without blinking an eye! This is my story. And you do not suffer! Whatever happens - will happen! I wish you luck!
Unfortunately, you are on the long list of the deceived, I don't think I have heard such a story with a happy ending - his mistress is only a mistress, the married man, no matter what problems he has, will not leave the safe and established, and he knows very well that the mistress is good only when she is a mistress - if she becomes his wife, things turn around from the beginning. Even with divorcees, there is a certain risk that they will not renew the old feelings, let alone with married people who are threatening to divorce. And yours will take down your stars and lie to you that he has not changed his decision, but he will stay there, it's just so convenient for him. You were wrong the first time you gave in - for people like him, the Germans say "Once a traitor - always a traitor." I do not judge you, because I do not believe in such love, but does anyone know what will come to his head. I'm just wondering how long you'll be able to hide and what kind of action will it be when your relationship shines? Winnie the Pooh
To №2 I hope it never shines, Winnie the Pooh, I hope it never shines, that then a third world war will occur. :))) Hell will come down to earth with us ... I hope this never happens. Everyone will be severely injured, there will be devastated and broken lives, affected and damaged loved ones ... Relationship breakdown and pain ... A lot of pain ... Who needs all this? I hope it never happens ... I have a comment №1. He who is without sin, let him throw the stone first. And those who have not sinned so far and think that this cannot happen to them, do not imagine that they are insured / and I thought so, but it was not so /. One never knows what fate has prepared for him, so do not judge, lest you be judged ...
To number 1: Thank you for sharing this story with me !!! I felt better, and I was convinced once again that life is a strange thing !!! You really don't know where what will come to your mind !!! Thank you once again and I wish you good luck !!! To number 2: I want to thank you for your comment !!! ...... And to realize that I was most wrong when I gave in the first time, but ...... after a rain hood! !! And I do not know how long we will be able to hide, but to tell you honestly in this regard I am calmer, because the man in question had the courage to start a love affair, but does not have the courage to maintain it, ie. let me tell you straight - a great coward came out, he is very afraid of being caught somewhere and for this reason our views are reduced to views of work in the office! but what did it cost him ............................ !!!!! Thank you though !!!!
Number 1, have you ever wondered what would happen if one day you found out that your husband also had a mistress he had feelings for? In general - have they cheated on you? I'm not judging you, I'm just asking because I've heard that cheating is not like cheating on you. An acquaintance of mine admitted to me that he had been breaking up all his life, but when he found out that his wife had cheated on him once (and she made him understand), he asked for a divorce and they are no longer a family. Now sorry.
And I'm among those who say "I never ...", but is it meager and it happened to me :( For now I'm in control of my feelings, but I feel that they are starting to get out of control. This is something that does not depend on us, but From our heart, whether we are married, divorced or single, we cannot decide when, how much and who to love ... But I think that this happens to people who say "I never ..." .... In my opinion if you move away from it, you can forget it, but you can also wish for it more ...
Hahaaahhha and I was one of those people who said, "I! NEVER! Ha ha a big joke happened so what I hated the most I started doing it. I can't give you advice because I won't follow it even though I know what I have to do it, I don't do it, I just live for a moment while I can afford it, and then Krogom and again on to the next mistake, mistakes without chat :) :) :)
To №5 / I have a comment №1 / Well, I don't know if they cheated on me. :) Even if it happened, it was well disguised and I did not understand. I can't say that my husband cheated on me, or that he didn't ... I just didn't catch him, and I didn't bother to listen and spy on him where he was going and what he was doing. For now, I'm sure he's not cheating on me, but for the first years of my marriage, I guess it may have happened ... You ask me how I'll feel if I find out he has a mistress and has feelings for her? Well, frankly, it will probably burn me. That's just the way people are ... But if he does it so that it's not at the expense of the family - in the sense of not starting to make scandals, behave badly and spend all his money on his mistress, I'll swallow it. However, if it had happened before I had established my extramarital affair, I would probably feel terrible. Now I look at things from a different position. I can't help but be lenient after I do it myself. Otherwise it will be a double standard - "for me it can, but for you - no!" Well, I'm sure I'll be sick, so I prefer, if there's such a thing, not to understand! But you are right that cheating is not like cheating on you ... I absolutely agree with you. :) So I will say again - if there is such a thing, I prefer not to know! :) :) So I will say again - if there is such a thing, I prefer not to know! :) :) So I will say again - if there is such a thing, I prefer not to know! :)
Hello! Your story touches me because I am in the position of the second. It just so happened that I did not aim for it. My husband is extremely unsuitable for me both in mentality and character. He has epilepsy and maybe unfortunately I am still with him. He is too dependent on me for everything, he does not earn enough money and at one point I collapsed mentally - to the extent that he does not come home to me even though he lives with me. For half a year I have been seeing a married man who will not divorce .It is clear to me.It is justified that he is with her because of the children.I would not ask him for such a thing because even though I have no children I do not want to break up families.I will not hide that I want it only for myself, I dream what it would be if we are together. At the same time we are constantly hiding, and he has his life.Men find it difficult to decide on such a step and no matter how much they swear that they love us, they easily lead this double life. I got sick of it. I came to the conclusion that it does not make me happy. We cannot deceive ourselves and live with illusions. Even if we break up with my husband, I know that I will be left alone. I am alone now. I had started to risk too much because of this man - my husband almost didn't understand, which means that he would attack and harass me because he has mental problems. In this man I saw everything I wanted for myself, but if he himself does not want to take a step, I am not the person who will ask him for it. Now we will part for a while and I hope to get used to his absence. head girlfriend- many people judge people like us! No one chooses when and whom to love. The question is is it worth it? I know it hurts but such half-hearted love makes us unhappy.I sincerely wish you to find the path to happiness on your own, but don't allow yourself to get depressed like me. They will never be ours no matter what they swear by. Good luck and spare yourself!
to № 1 I don't know why you cheated, ie people allow themselves "such liberties, when something in the marriage is lame, it doesn't work. remains unpunished. This also applies to the Author!