Hello! I have a great boy next to me, with whom we love and support in every way. Since we both study in a big city and are in a dormitory, it can be said that we live together and we are almost inseparable, which is very attached to each other. The problem is that for the summer we both returned to our hometowns to see our family and friends, as this did not happen very often during school hours, and he had to help his grandparents fix up the house. Since we're separated, we write and talk at least once or twice a day, we even play online games when he's free, but ... I miss him a hell of a lot. It is most difficult in the evening, when there is no one to hug you, when you feel his absence next to you, when there is no one to touch, no one to talk to ... It is not the same on the phone. During the day, it's hard for me to focus on doing anything, since I think about him all the time, I literally feel like a dizzy 15 year old. I took an online programming course to have something to do and to be distracted by something, BUT even that doesn't help - I can't concentrate, it hurts and it eats at me that we're not together. I don't even know if I'll be able to finish it, because I'm a hell of a distraction - it's the first time something like this has happened to me. Books also help during the day, I manage to focus on the story of the characters and the worlds they serve me, but unfortunately this does not last long. I tried to find an internship in the specialty, but since I am a freshman everywhere I am told that it is too early for me. I applied elsewhere for positions such as receptionist, cashier, consultant BUT and I was not very lucky there - they always chose people with more experience than me, such as which would remain in the workplace not only for the summer season. I tried the sea, but there the hotels that offered a room to stay in, just did not call me, and even if they were, what would I do without people close to me? At the moment I am in a state where I cannot be alone, AGAIN for the first time in my life. I just can't know myself! I miss him, and the activities I find at home fail to fill his absence at all. My question is, how do you deal with the lack of your loved ones? How do you go abroad and not see them for months, how do you sleep at night? I am definitely not the only one in this situation, so I turn to you for advice. In August I will visit him for about a week, but until then there is a whole month ... And now another question arises in my head - what if its absence and pain at one point break me and become numb? Is it possible to unlock some protective reaction in me and lose it because of it? F, 20y.
Answers 5
As I read, I want to 'slap' you a nice slap. Let a person feel sorry for you, that you have a person next to you, with whom you love, but for 2 months you are not together every day ... wow, tragedy. What to say people who have broken up with their partners and really have no chance to do anything. At least you can call him, but let's drool and run away from our obligations, because you see, you miss being very productive.
Try something online sex with each other. At least the hormone calms if nothing else.
Follow the programming lessons to surprise him in a month or two and let him, you and your parents be happy with you.
Number 1, according to the author's reading of the court, that she realizes that her problems are insignificant. She asks how to deal with the emotional pain and in this case comments like yours would suppress her even more. Initially, when I read what she wrote, I reacted the same way, but let's still try to be useful. When I was 20, I felt the same way as you, author. Maybe it was even worse for me, because I had problems with my parents, the few remaining real friends went on brigades, some studied abroad and did not return for the summer, I generally had no one. And I was a freshman at university when I met my husband, and both you and your boy were almost inseparable, until immediately after the exams his family told him that they would go to Germany for the summer, where his grandmother actually lived. They had found him a seasonal job, they had bought the tickets - everything was arranged. Accordingly, I did not have time to adjust that I would not see him for 3 months, I could not realize what was happening, and the next day he was gone. I was left completely alone. And then all sorts of emotions, remorse, jealousy, helplessness, despair came over me, I couldn't find a place, I didn't eat, I didn't sleep, I accused myself of being like that. I wanted to talk often, but he didn't have time - we talked every few days. I had the feeling that I was falling apart. And then I did something I can't forgive myself for today - I started dating another guy who liked me for a long time and was constantly trying to arrange a meeting with me. But I sent him to the friendly zone to such an extent that I told him all my problems, the pain of my boy, everything. The second became a vent, which calmed me, distracted me, tried to entertain me. And I used it for that. I hate myself because he was obviously in love with me, but I couldn't give him more, so going back to those days, I wouldn't answer him at all, so that he wouldn't suffer the way I suffered in another. And so for three months - I went out with a vent, I longed for my beloved, in the evening, when I was left alone I cried. The first month is the hardest, the second you start to get used to, the third you start to wonder why you were like that in the first. And you're glad it's coming to an end. My advice to you is if you like reading books - read series, they distract for a long time. Watch TV series - do a marathon so that you get bored. If you have a close friend around - go out with her whenever possible, try to be among people if possible. If you are like me then and you have no friends around, sign up for a sport or something that gives you pleasure. Focus on the course you have taken - this can be an important part of your future, it can give you a lot. Make a schedule by the hour, do not leave free time for anything in the world. Try to get exhausted during the day so you can sleep at night without thinking much. Get up early and go to bed early, eat healthy, if it gives you pleasure - cook. I believe you will succeed! And one last piece of advice, perhaps the most important - just as he misses you, so he misses you. But don't complain about anything in the world, how much you miss him, don't explain to him what a wreck you are - I know it's hard and that he's the person you're used to saying everything to, but he doesn't need to know right now. Pretend that you manage - it will give him peace of mind. Don't be a burden to him, because even if men love with all their heart, in such a situation they strain and run away. And after a long and tiring day, instead of not having the patience to hear you, the exact opposite will happen - he will think that you will burden him even more and he will not want to talk to you. Be his support, smile at him, tighten up and be the best of yourself during the time you are talking! I know it's hard, but you have to do it! through which you speak be the best of yourself! I know it's hard, but you have to do it! through which you speak be the best of yourself! I know it's hard, but you have to do it!
I understand. I have been married for 3 years and we have been together for 4 and I always miss her a lot and we have to separate even for a week or two when there is a business trip abroad. This is when the couple's daily life is very interconnected. I don't see anything wrong with being inseparable from your partner. I can't imagine being with a ship's captain or a military man, for example, where the divisions are for months or even years. In fact, I would not start a family with such a person, because I will not tolerate loneliness. He also doesn't understand the families in which one of them has been working abroad for years and doesn't get together, but only sends money. For me, living in separation is not life. Try to do other things until it's time to see each other. Keep in touch during the day and spend time together, even online. And then you will enjoy each other very much,