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Love and affairs

How Do You Get Used To Loneliness?

By thejessiewoo September 18, 2020 7 answers Last updated September 18, 2020

17 year old boy I've been wondering for a long time how to get used to loneliness. I have chosen a path and a future profession that I will not give up for anything in the world, but I will not be able to find many friends or a future boyfriend. So far I haven't had a boyfriend - that's for clarification. At the moment I can't have fun with friends, but I'm unlikely to succeed, because I'm mostly from home to school and back home (I don't like big companies and that's why my options for going out with anyone are decreasing). I'm busy because I'm studying for a 2nd certificate in English, I'm also studying Russian on Sundays (because I like it), I'm learning to process myself, as well as recording various things. I went to various group activities (dancing, but I hated all this dressing up for concerts and things related to it; I didn't like contact with others either). At the moment, I don't see much point in signing up for anything else, since I'm not good at sports, and communication in general is complicated if people aren't more or less like you. I make a living at school - my friends are few, some shy away from me because I'm too weird and out-of-the-box, and others are just interested in something specific or get too much attention from the opposite sex. For university in the future I am very hesitant, because I want to study video editing and photography - a dream from a young age, which I follow :) Maybe different courses are better, and I do not know where I can follow here what I want. I would also like my future girlfriend to be at least 1 month older than me (doesn't mean she can support me, no, no chance); it's kind of like a mania, I don't know why, to be bigger. From the above it can be seen that the chance of finding someone to match this is (YOU KNOW) - exactly 0%. That's why I've been trying to get used to loneliness since I was a child, but I need advice on how to deal with it. Thank you in advance! (For comments that are against me and are about not finding anyone that way, I know, but I can't change, that's who I am.)

Answers 7

1
bellaprice01 answered · September 18, 2020

   I think you will find someone and when you fall in love, you will not care if it is a month older. But with so many interests, even at 17, you're still looking for yourself. This with many interests, makes a good impression on me personally, at this age and mine, similar interests, to learn, are not so common. The need for like-minded and like-minded people is normal, but while there are some, know that it is a plus to be able to stay alone with yourself.

2
sweetlikerose answered · September 18, 2020

   There is something in this topic that confuses me a lot. You yourself claim that you do not like to be among people and that you have some strange criteria for those around you. This, at least in my understanding, directly means that in one way or another you have chosen to look like a lone wolf. You say that you are trying to get used to loneliness, as if you have to do it, this feeling is brought to me by your words. I have the feeling that you are trying to protect yourself from pain by getting used to loneliness, so that you do not have a problem and do not feel sad. Explain to me, please, what bothers you the most, what are you afraid of, do you like being alone? I will now turn to your question so that my comment is not completely useless. Loneliness is something we choose most of the time. I tell you from experience. I had a period in which I had no one my age and spent my free time in my room watching movies. Yes, it was lonely, heavy, boring. It was my choice, even though I didn't realize it then. The truth is that I had something to fill my time with so that it would pass fully and bring me pleasure. It is such things that make loneliness more solitary and you are not sad. Hobbies are the first thing, but that's what you found. The other is to learn to lower your ego, no matter how rude it sounds to you, think about it, I don't mean anything offensive. Before I could not forgive, my ego was big. I couldn't apologize from the bottom of my heart, my ego was big. I couldn't come to terms with this or that, my ego wouldn't let me. I couldn't admit my weaknesses even in front of the mirror because my ego was too strong. Don't imagine that I am a relative of Lucifer and there was only pain, insults, bad behavior and so on around me. I rarely quarreled with people, but I never allowed them to myself, I never accepted their differences with an open mind, I always had one thing in mind for them. In fact, I treated myself that way, and even worse, because critical people are mostly critical of themselves. Then it dawned on me that loneliness did not choose me, the choice was mine. If you do not allow anyone near you, you will be alone. If you don't give a chance to people who seem different to you and somehow not "your type", you will be alone. If you do not know how to work with mistakes and correct them or help to correct them, you will still be alone. These are elementary things that you can hear from everywhere, and I know you've heard them before. My idea is to understand their essence, because there is no more direct truth. You're looking for a certain girl, certain friends ... not a specific person, but someone who fits the description you came up with in advance. It will not happen and with these desires you have chosen to be alone. Before, I thought it was easy to communicate with people who look like you. Well, it's not true, you can communicate with anyone and usually the differences add more color. There is no other like you, you know. There are many people with similar interests and preferences, but they will still be different in character, behavior or anything else that will catch your eye if you do not know how to accept others without wanting to change. I tell you all these things in case you do not want to be lonely and really communication with others is almost impossible. Now I will tell you how to get used to loneliness. Stop looking her in the eye. Have fun alone, pamper yourself, go out more in nature, find a job. Live day by day and try to be well. Just be careful, because it borders on narcissism and can play a bad joke on you, negatively affecting your character. Accept loneliness as a kind of freedom, so it is easiest to live with yourself and be oversatisfied. It is easier to save money if you are alone. Then you watch the movies you want and listen to your favorite song, you don't make any compromises. As long as you enjoy your own company, you will not feel lonely in such moments. These things sound nasty, really, but sometimes a person has to spend months with himself to shake off his negativity and learn to see the world differently. This is called freedom because it removes your shackles and opens your eyes, gives you a chance to balance and improve without others interfering and confusing you with their ideas. It's as if you're on a course, it's the same, but the certificate is in your head, and the knowledge remains forever imprinted in your mind and is applicable in any field. If you spend a lot of time with these thoughts, I guess the course becomes lifelong, or at least until your biological clock starts ticking. But, Author, you don't have to be lonely at all.

3
cifras.com.br answered · September 18, 2020

   One experiences loneliness when one does nothing and is not busy with anything, but just stares somewhere in front of oneself and wonders why one is lonely. Boy, don't you have any hobbies, don't you have any interests that will consume your time? I do not work (I am financially secure) or study, and I do not have enough time for everything I want to do. I have so many interests and hobbies and I wonder which one to start with first. Sometimes I miss one to deal with another and that's every day. For example, I will not miss a match of Juventus against any other team. I love international competitions in many sports - gymnastics, swimming, ice hockey, basketball, football, athletics and more. Today I watched ski jumps from Norway and every day I watch documentaries about animals from Africa or the Amazon River or from anywhere in the world. I also read a lot of science books, philosophy, anatomy, politics, I have studied all religions. There are many interesting things on the Internet, especially on YouTube. Abe has a lot of interesting things in the world, but you have to be curious yourself. I don't know what boredom is. I hope you show interest in more things to forget what boredom is.

4
kaskus answered · September 18, 2020

   Why don't you just relax? At 17, I thought a lot of things, I thought I would "die alone in a lot of money" and that my career would be the most important thing. Now, a few years later, when I made my first attempts, I saw that this was not the case, because my field, which I was working on, was not ordinary. Good, think about the future, work on it, that's great. But now are your best years, your most carefree years. You will work for the rest of your life. About loneliness - do not get used to. You can temporarily dull it, but one day all this oppression will break out and you will collapse. One day, even if you have the dream job, even if you have a lot of money, you will watch everyone around you get married and have children, only you don't. Work hard to make contacts and communicate, because there is NO job that completely excludes contact with other people, I tell you from personal experience. I'm not the most sociable and that's coming out of my nose now. As for the girls - okay, you want a bigger one, it's possible. I also go out with a boy a few years younger than me. But this is not the most important thing, the important thing is how you feel about each other and your attitude. Follow your heart. You can find a woman with whom you will look in one direction and she will be from your sphere. Just don't be left alone, because it will start to weigh the most when you can no longer change it. with which you will look in one direction and it will be from your sphere. Just don't be left alone, because it will start to weigh the most when you can no longer change it. with which you will look in one direction and it will be from your sphere. Just don't be left alone, because it will start to weigh the most when you can no longer change it.

5
guapo_papichulo answered · September 18, 2020

   Very interesting story ... I can tell you to do what you want ... And for the rest I will wait for comments to see :)

6
angelface1992x answered · September 18, 2020

   Look ... I'm 19 years old and I'm looking for someone like you, strange as that may sound. So ... you will not be left alone - there are many girls like me who want to be right next to such a stable, balanced and mature person. I really like the fact that you have a rich language culture and can express yourself well in writing. Your ambition is enviable; I myself am quite purposeful and I fully understand you. Don't worry - everything comes with its time, I guess. I'm still alone, I often feel the loneliness you shared, but I manage somehow. It is difficult. Especially with the advancing age and the age in which we live - every friend or close friend of mine has a person next to him. Most have even built relationships that last a second or third year (even I'm surprised myself, that this happened to them at a relatively early stage for such a long-term relationship). It's hard, but you get used to it. After all, we are human beings - we need closeness, love, caress and mutual devotion. I hope you meet a suitable girl soon, and until then ... the smart one! :) Success in future endeavors!

7
hummelsport answered · September 19, 2020

   If you wait until university to start with video processing and photography, you will only waste time. Start today. Right now. Now! And don't think that you need a Nikon D5 for  8,000, or a MacBook Pro 15 for  7,000 to take photos and videos.