I recently caught a boyfriend. Super smart, intelligent and ambitious girl. In someone else's eyes she is attractive, but in mine ... It's strange. I like her a lot as a person, we have a lot in common, we always have something to talk about. In general, everything happened spontaneously. We have been together for almost 2 months now. Recently, there was almost sex, but for other reasons the action did not take place. But there came a moment when I felt that she did not attract me in such a way as some other strangers, for example. Just the clothes, the hairstyle, the body structure, the face and the shapes is not my type. Others are dying for it, but obviously not me. Weak, 165 tall, black brittle hair, brown eyes and loves me very much. I was attracted by the intellect in her and the fact that we get along very well. In total, everything is 6, but I don't know how it will be with the attraction. I want to be with her, and if I tell her to change her vision or make any problems with herself, I don't know how she will accept it. And I don't want to miss a girl like her. Things are generally going very well. Of course I'm great. We also have a strong emotional and spiritual connection, we work on the same purities, I see my life with her in the future if I have to be honest, because I have always been looking for just that. A smart, humble and down-to-earth girl. I have never been influenced by my appearance and here God sent it to me. You see ... I'm a boy of 25 and more or less sex and physical attraction in a relationship are important. The bad thing is that I think she's starting to feel these things and have doubts about whether I love her and whether I want to be with her. Ah, I really want and love her, I pamper everything, but ... BUT. I don't know how to approach. Is this just some illusion in my mind, how important is this and how can I NOT allow my eyes to deceive my heart. Because there are only a handful of girls like her and I don't want to lose her on any occasion. I want to ask if there have been people who have been in a situation like mine or have these mixed feelings of advice. Also, those with long-term relationships where time passes and physical attraction is no longer what it was at the beginning of the relationship. - Marti66
Answers 15
I'll answer the question in the title right away. No more than 3 months is so important
Marty, the same thing has happened to me to some extent. Usually, when I'm emotionally attached to a man, I start to worry about the physical part. Things are connected to me, if I like the character I want intimacy, if I don't like the person, there is no chance to get aroused. That's how my mind works. However, in a new relationship, when I feel a strong emotional attachment, it is difficult for me to relax for the first time. The reason is that internally I want everything to be perfect, but I do not believe that there is complete happiness and that every aspect can be perfect. It's as if I'm raising a barrier in my mind and I don't allow myself to feel everything as it really is. It takes me a while after the first experience to stop thinking and trust my feelings. I hope it's the same with you, because this is a very minor problem, which is solved with the right mindset. My big problem is that I interfere with myself, but I experience it. My boyfriend is not my type, as I speak. He is beautiful, many girls want just such a man. I just don't like light eyes and light hair. Well, our children, if we have any, will be terribly beautiful. My idea is that he's not my type, but we really fit together like two pieces of a puzzle. It took me a while to get used to our relationship, and then a little more to relax in our intimate relationship. The truth is that when he touches me, the very touch is infinitely pleasant to me, because he does it with love. I don't like blue eyes, but his became my favorite over time. After several intimate experiences, I began to feel a very strong physical attraction. It used to be more emotional. The two things connected,
Not to be overlooked the reason !!!
You don't love her, but you want to model her to your taste and likeness. The only decent thing you can do is tell her the truth and get rid of her. If a woman is in place and keeps to herself, she will kick you. Can't you imagine that you are God and you can decide who to look like? !? I bet you are not a benchmark for male beauty, but you have complex whims!
yes I felt just like you for this purpose you have to catch a fuller girl I was with a chick who I'm sure there is no man who does not like her However, I just did not like it in a sexual way after a while I tried with a girl who weighed 72 kg and I saw exactly what I need There is no point in sitting with this girl because you can't be with someone who doesn't attract you all your life will take a year or two 3 5 and 6 you see that I was right you have to find it now a person who attracts you not only emotionally but also spiritually and physically because this thing over the years you will feel how he will limp and will always pull you back If sex in a relationship is not good It and the relationship itself goes bad my advice is cut and dare
I am a woman and physical attraction is very important to me. I can't have sex with someone I don't find attractive, no matter how good a person is. And being in a relationship with such a person is a force to sleep with, I just can't imagine it, it's probably very difficult . Not just for me, but for the other. There is no way he can be ready to feel that his partner does not want him, does not arouse him and does these things with him out of obligation. So, in my opinion, if this is not the case, things cannot happen beyond friendship.
Were you crazy? !! This has some meaning only in the first few months ... If he has good sex and treats you carefully, lovingly and with respect, soon you will not think about this nonsense anymore ...
I've been with all kinds of women, and I've finally come to the conclusion that most of all, we need to get along well. I've been with a lot of beautiful, and with those who are not beautiful at all, but over time, these features fade and the appearance does not make much of an impression on you. All that remains is trust and the little things. So, appearance is deceptive, but to understand this, you have to go through it for yourself.
Don't lie to her. This relationship has no future. Let her find a boy who likes her, otherwise you can create terrible complexes for her.
She may not feel safe in you and may not want you. You have something that she does not accept and looks for the defect in herself.
If you plan to go to bed with her intellect and spirituality - it happens, if you want good sex - no. And there is no serious relationship without quality and dedicated sex. Don't you like EVERYTHING in someone, it's not your man. The moment another grabs your eye and attention, you will cheat. There is simply no point in fooling yourself, and you will meet many more women in your life.
I wouldn't want to be in the girl's shoes, but I was. They even told me, I quote "you're a very beautiful girl, but you're just not my type" please just don't cause it, just say it won't work out between you, don't tell her how you like her as a person, but not as a woman. Just put yourself in her place for a second, but you're unlikely to understand. You are smart and you don't want to miss the goldfish, but let it go because it deserves to be loved and WANTED like any woman deserves it.
You write that you are not influenced by appearance, but you want it to change. What should this change be expressed in? The problem is in you, but it is easier for you to look for guilt in others. Answer the question when it is was the last relationship for you and ask her - when for her. During the period you will find out about many things. It seems to me that you are used to being with a woman and looking for a calf under the ox!
Number 5 - Pendel hamav, did you read the topic at all? He said that she attracts him with her INTELLIGENCE, not PHYSICALLY, can you understand that? You're one of those pathetic feminists for sure.
There is good sex without a relationship, a relationship without good sex - no. There is no good sex without attraction either. Draw your own conclusions. -scorpion.