The question is stupid, I know, but after 4 years of serious relationship it is very difficult, I just already feel how our future would be aimless and we are too different, we move away as interests, my feelings cool down. I'm 22, if it matters, and she's 21. Our story really started as a movie. Some simpleton (her ex-boyfriend) had spread false rumors about her and she was ridiculed at school, I defended her, I was about to beat him and so we made contact. I was instantly attracted to the whole because it was intellect, beauty, mystery and a kind of childlike innocence in one. I persevered for a long time, I would even give up for a while, but in the end I won it. Before her I was with only one and she broke my heart, my boyfriend was the second, and I was the first in many ways. So 4 years of idyll. I'm not kidding, we've never had a serious fight, we have not been offended and angry for days. We argued like normal intelligent people and nothing more. But we grew up. I only love her now as a friend. She wanted to stay in her hometown (which is small, 20,000) and be a manicurist, although she has many qualities, but does not want to develop them. I have big ambitions and I fight for them, I came to Sofia, I settled here not only as a student, but also for life. For me, not only money, but success is important. Constantly cultivating. Maybe because I'm a Leo and I have such attitudes (she's a scorpion by the way, if you believe me). I also like to communicate with many different people. We were kindred spirits with her, but in the small town, and now that our paths diverge? I even offered to pay whatever she wanted and live at my expense at all (without offending her, I just didn't want her to worry), but that is not the problem. She does NOT want Sofia, she does not want a university degree, she does not want a better life. She is also closed and shy, she doesn't want to change that. At the same time, she loves me and I see her being raped for many things, but I can't torture her. At the moment I study, work and live in Sofia, she is in the small town and works, we see each other every weekend. I'm faithful in principle, but lately I'm looking more and more at other girls and moving away from her. I want to do something simple one weekend. And I feel like garbage. I was the only support in her life. I no longer love her as a woman, she doesn't even attract me in the same way. I would not say that I am bored, but that we simply have insurmountable differences. However, she loves me very much and I have the feeling that with each passing day she becomes more and more in love. He originally planned our future in his hometown, but after I crossed this out as an idea, she began to think that when I graduated, she might force herself to come to me and get used to my way of life. But it was too late because he missed the moment. If I leave her, it will look like I just had fun with her while she was pleasing me with everything. What's worse is that I'm going to hurt her, and she's an angel. Everything is so difficult. But just at one point, the woman you loved turns into something like a sister, and that's brutal. I love her, but in a different way. And if I put an end to it, I'll ruin it, believe me. And I will ruin our relationship as a whole. What to do? I know how it hurts from a broken heart, no matter how dramatic it sounds. I don't want him to go through the same thing I went through with the other one 5 years ago. How is such a decision presented? he may force himself to come to me and get used to my way of life. But it was too late because he missed the moment. If I leave her, it will look like I just had fun with her while she was pleasing me with everything. What's worse is that I'm going to hurt her, and she's an angel. Everything is so difficult. But just at one point, the woman you loved turns into something like a sister, and that's brutal. I love her, but in a different way. And if I put an end to it, I'll ruin it, believe me. And I will ruin our relationship as a whole. What to do? I know how it hurts from a broken heart, no matter how dramatic it sounds. I don't want him to go through the same thing I went through with the other one 5 years ago. How is such a decision presented? he may force himself to come to me and get used to my way of life. But it was too late because he missed the moment. If I leave her, it will look like I just had fun with her while she was pleasing me with everything. What's worse is that I'm going to hurt her, and she's an angel. Everything is so difficult. But just at one point, the woman you loved turns into something like a sister, and that's brutal. I love her, but in a different way. And if I put an end to it, I'll ruin it, believe me. And I will ruin our relationship as a whole. What to do? I know how it hurts from a broken heart, no matter how dramatic it sounds. I don't want him to go through the same thing I went through with the other one 5 years ago. How is such a decision presented? that I will hurt her, and she is an angel. Everything is so difficult. But just at one point, the woman you loved turns into something like a sister, and that's brutal. I love her, but in a different way. And if I put an end to it, I'll ruin it, believe me. And I will ruin our relationship as a whole. What to do? I know how it hurts a broken heart, no matter how dramatic it sounds. I don't want him to go through the same thing I went through with the other one 5 years ago. How is such a decision presented? that I will hurt her, and she is an angel. Everything is so difficult. But just at one point, the woman you loved turns into something like a sister, and that's brutal. I love her, but in a different way. And if I put an end to it, I'll ruin it, believe me. And I will ruin our relationship as a whole. What to do? I know how it hurts from a broken heart, no matter how dramatic it sounds. I don't want him to go through the same thing I went through with the other one 5 years ago. How is such a decision presented? which I experienced with the other 5 years ago. How is such a decision presented? which I experienced with the other 5 years ago. How is such a decision presented?
Answers 16
The right godfather - in the eyes. And you disappear from her life so she can forget you. Years ago, I broke up with a man like that - he loved me very much, but I didn't love him enough. I sat across from him one day, looked him in the eye and told him. Then we stopped all contacts. I heard that after a while he found another one, he got married. I hope he is happy. Because if we had stayed together, it wouldn't have been, and neither would I - we just weren't for each other.
Break up with her, don't lie to her. Don't think she doesn't feel what you're thinking. On the other hand, say everything in plain text, as you described it here - why it no longer attracts you, your goals and desires. If you really hold on to her, as you claim, you owe her the truth. She will recover sooner or later. Maybe this breakup will push her out of the routine and really develop the qualities she has. Which doesn't kill us, makes us stronger, it's a cliché, but it's a fact. She deserves someone who will love her for who she is, not be forced to change just to please your interests and lifestyle. Besides, in time you will look for her, now you are in a momentary eclipse. And yet - free the girl from herself, she deserves love, just like you.
When you separate and after a while you see her in the arms of another who will love and love her, you will remember how much you want her, but it will be too late. Don't miss a girl who loves you more than anything because of personal interests, ambitions or inner feelings :)
Be honest with her and tell her everything. Separation is not the worst thing in this world, nor is a change of residence. Discuss with respect what views of life each of you have and find a solution. Sit down and decide as adults what you are already which is best for both of you and do it.
Brother, I am a boy a little younger than you, I will tell you that you are a complete idiot, believe me, after you dump her you will be very sorry, she is perfect at least as you described her, what more do you want from a modest girl? Or why do you already live in Sofia and want a girl like Nikoleta Lozanova? I advise you to tighten up and not leave the girl, but as you decide, if you leave her you will regret it in time, I tell you because I know it from personal experience.
You are a great person - attentive and cordial. However, I do not understand how she does not see a problem. Doesn't it feel "stopped". If there is this craft, it can be much better paid in Sofia. Most young people dream of moving to a bigger city with many opportunities and a variety of leisure activities. For example, I would feel bad, unattractive and uninteresting if my boyfriend pulled me forward. At least I would be brutally jealous if he lives alone in Sofia - students, chicks But whatever you do, your relationship is doomed, because obviously you went up and she will stay in the comfort zone for many years. tell her what you told us. That you're tired of boredom on the weekends. That you are young and now is the time to do cool things and if he does not want to take your hand and follow you, you have no future together.
Believe me, a single salary is not worth the nerves and stress of living in this miserable garbage dump - Sofia. And as a manicurist, if she is good, she can earn a decent income and lifestyle even in a town of 20,000.
You just walk away slowly. You don't come home on the weekends and things are clear.
I am very annoyed when everyone thinks that if you go to live and study in Sofia, you will succeed in life. Not all of us like noise, hectic everyday life, long distances, traffic jams, etc., but you could both compromise by living in a big city (not Sofia, but for example another district, which also has a chance to realize, but it is not as crowded as the capital). I see that the profession of manicurist is a big problem for you. I will only explain to you that it has become fashionable to go for a manicure. A manicurist costs an average of BGN 20 per person, and the most expensive procedure reaches BGN 60. It is estimated that 5 women a day should give BGN 20 - this is BGN 100 for just one day, if they do the cheapest procedure. Who else does so much? !! For several years now, the craft professions have become the most profitable in Bulgaria. That's what a man tells you, who has also chosen your path with higher education (not to say that I defend it because I am). I have nothing to comment on love, you know best how you feel, but if really the fact that she does not want to study and has chosen to be a manicurist has alienated you, it is very unfortunate. Be a broad-minded person, we live in the 21st century, your thoughts sound to me like a conservative person over 45 years old!
Hi author, I'm 22, girl. I experienced almost the same as you. My ex-boyfriend and I met at school when we were students and it all started as you describe it, my first love, I loved him so much and while we were at school everything was fine. But I came to study in Sofia, and he stayed and my feelings began to cool. I'm an ambitious person, and he's never been one of those people, but somehow when you love a person, you tend to ignore those things. And yet when I came to Sofia everything changed. It's been almost a year since I decided to break up with him, and I for the same reasons you did. But there was no way I could go on like this, I didn't see my future with this person, I no longer felt anything more than affection, due to the fact that we were together for almost 4 years. So with a lot of support from my friends and family, who agreed with my decision, I broke up with him. I hurt him terribly, I just ruined him, but it was as if I felt relief, as if a load was falling from your back. I'm telling you my story, I hope it helps you in some way. I just want to say one thing, a year and a half later since I was separated from him, I can safely say that I have not regretted the decision even for a moment. Strange as it may sound, we remained friends, we see each other, we hear each other sometimes, I have no problem with that, I can't talk about him, but it's been a long time, I guess he's outlived me. I wish you success and I hope you make the right decision. as if a load falls from your back. I'm telling you my story, I hope it helps you in some way. I just want to say one thing, a year and a half later since I was separated from him, I can safely say that I have not regretted the decision even for a moment. Strange as it may sound, we remained friends, we see each other, we hear each other sometimes, I have no problem with that, I can't talk about him, but it's been a long time, I guess he's outlived me. I wish you success and I hope you make the right decision. as if a load falls from your back. I'm telling you my story, I hope it helps you in some way. I just want to say one thing, a year and a half later since I was separated from him, I can safely say that I have not regretted the decision even for a moment. Strange as it may sound, we remained friends, we see each other, we hear each other sometimes, I have no problem with that, I can't talk about him, but it's been a long time, I guess he has outlived me. I wish you success and I hope you make the right decision. I can't talk about him, but it's been a long time, I guess he's outlived me. I wish you success and I hope you make the right decision. I can't talk about him, but it's been a long time, I guess he's outlived me. I wish you success and I hope you make the right decision.
Hi author, I'm 22, girl. I experienced almost the same as you. My ex-boyfriend and I met at school when we were students and it all started as you describe it, my first love, I loved him so much and while we were at school everything was fine. But I came to study in Sofia, and he stayed and my feelings began to cool. I'm an ambitious person, and he's never been one of those people, but somehow when you love a person, you tend to ignore those things. And yet when I came to Sofia everything changed. It's been almost a year since I decided to break up with him, and I for the same reasons you did. But there was no way I could go on like this, I didn't see my future with this person, I no longer felt anything more than affection, due to the fact that we were together for almost 4 years. So with a lot of support from my friends and family, who agreed with my decision, I broke up with him. I hurt him terribly, I just ruined him, but it was as if I felt relief, as if a load was falling from your back. I'm telling you my story, I hope it helps you in some way. I just want to say one thing, a year and a half later since I was separated from him, I can safely say that I have not regretted the decision even for a moment. Strange as it may sound, we remained friends, we see each other, we hear each other sometimes, I have no problem with that, I can't talk about him, but it's been a long time, I guess he's outlived me. I wish you success and I hope you make the right decision. as if a load falls from your back. I'm telling you my story, I hope it helps you in some way. I just want to say one thing, a year and a half later since I was separated from him, I can safely say that I have not regretted the decision even for a moment. Strange as it may sound, we remained friends, we see each other, we hear each other sometimes, I have no problem with that, I can't talk about him, but it's been a long time, I guess he's outlived me. I wish you success and I hope you make the right decision. as if a load falls from your back. I'm telling you my story, I hope it helps you in some way. I just want to say one thing, a year and a half later since I was separated from him, I can safely say that I have not regretted the decision even for a moment. Strange as it may sound, we remained friends, we see each other, we hear each other sometimes, I have no problem with that, I can't talk about him, but it's been a long time, I guess he has outlived me. I wish you success and I hope you make the right decision. I can't talk about him, but it's been a long time, I guess he's outlived me. I wish you success and I hope you make the right decision. I can't talk about him, but it's been a long time, I guess he's outlived me. I wish you success and I hope you make the right decision.
I think some of the commenters did not understand the author correctly. He nowhere claims that he will leave her because she chose to be a manicurist. And in general, this is not the problem at all. The thing is that the girl obviously does not feel the need to develop, to look for new horizons, to get out of her comfort zone. For a person like the author, who is obviously the exact opposite in character and temperament, this really comes in handy at some point. Author, and I'm for telling her directly. In any case, it will hurt her, she will feel betrayed, but it would be better if it happened. Either way you are too different and at some point you will get on each other's nerves, you don't have to cause it.
Unfortunately, there is no easy way. You just sit somewhere together and tell her that you don't see the point in driving her like that, she's there, you in Sofia and there's no point in both of you trying to keep in touch from a distance. It will hurt her insanely much, but it's better to hurt her once and let her heal and put her life in order again than to lie to her and yourself that your feelings are the same as before. Because a broken heart hurts a lot, but a lie hurts twice as much. Just don't do one thing, don't break up with her on the phone or online, because that's a sign of cowardice. Better be bold and short, without unnecessary explanations and dramas. It is enough that he will surely cry, so there is no point in pouring oil on the fire and explaining very much why. And from now on, prepare that it will not be easy at all, but there is no other way. What to do, that's life. You meet someone, you fall in love with him, you become a couple, but time passes and at some point it is quite possible to feel that you are no longer looking in one direction. Well, then it is better to end and give a chance to yourself and the other to find a person with whom you look in the same direction. It is! By the way, it happens with a lot of friendships, but things are not so dramatic there, you just stop seeing your friend in question one day and so on, but when love is involved ... there is no way to go without pain. It will both hurt you, but there is no other way. but there things are not so dramatic, just one day you stop seeing the friend in question and so on, but when love is involved ... it is without pain there is no way to pass. It will both hurt you, but there is no other way. but there things are not so dramatic, just one day you stop seeing the friend in question and so on, but when love is involved ... it is without pain there is no way to pass. It will both hurt you, but there is no other way.
I think the author greatly overestimates the girl's feelings. Her description outlines the image of a girl who was brought up to be with the first beloved man, to listen to him, to obey her parents, not to make changes, to look after her house and not to make sudden movements at all, because that's the way it is. " morally ". Many young women in the countryside are inspired in this direction by mothers, grandmothers and aunts. Which does not mean that they faint from love for their chosen ones. I suspect that after a frank conversation on the subject, it will turn out that the girl is really relieved to get rid of a relationship that has obviously lost its charm. At the moment, she is supported by a misunderstood sense of duty, simply because "it should be so". I come to this conclusion because, as a woman, if I love a man, I will accompany him not just to another city, and I will go to another planet with him just to be together! Author, you will both feel better if you put the cards on the table, and - very importantly - you will keep your friendship. Otherwise ... no husbands, no friends, no lovers ... The other scenario is to propose marriage to her on the condition that you live together in Sofia. I'm 90% sure he'll refuse you and your hands will untie. However, there is a 10% chance that he will agree again because "it should be so". That would be a disaster. that he will refuse you and your hands will be untied. However, there is a 10% chance that he will agree again because "it should be so". That would be a disaster. that he will refuse you and your hands will be untied. However, there is a 10% chance that he will agree again because "it should be so". That would be a disaster.
Hurt a man or a woman, become the love of his life and .. The cruel truth ..
It's hard to break up with a 4-year relationship. Then what to talk about 10 years ... The longer you are with one person, the harder it is to leave him.