I am a 22 year old boy and my problem is the following I have too big ideals and I always want to outdo myself, I have problems with my character I want to gain fatigue and balance in relationships with people. I am always extreme in every situation and I realize that this behavior does me no good. In some situations I am very soft in others I pretend to be something more than others. I constantly want to dominate and somehow irritate the people around me. I show super irresponsibility towards my relatives, I am a young boy, I know that they are alive, I want to have fun, but I do not take any responsibility in this life except for myself. Not to mention that half of my friends hate me. My other problem is probably the most important of all. When a problem arises, instead of trying to fix it, I pull away. I don't know what this is due to, I don't want to get involved in situations, I avoid conflicts even when they affect my personal interests and I don't take a position at all. What to do How to put my life in order, how to build a good character?
Answers 2
Reading and reasoning.
First: greet that you are a person who wants to build himself. Not many such people. Most people live an unconscious life and carry behavioral patterns that are inherited or created at an early age. Very few people manage to use their neo-cortex to change their patterns in a way that suits them. Second, personality is a small relative concept. The personality is actually a set of personalities. Most people are other people, a combination of them. Very few people have a built-in True Self, in which their Will plays a major role. Most people feel that they are doing things they do not want to do because their Will is underdeveloped and because they do not have their minds as befits human beings. Third: there are different teachings, techniques and schools for development - emotional, intellectual, spiritual, physical. In my opinion, the best for this, what you describe are the techniques of self-observation and self-remembering. These techniques are used in different schools, but even reading about the techniques themselves is enough to some extent. In general, the goal is to achieve control over attention, ie our will to control our attention, and not to be occupied by external or internal stimuli. The idea is to get rid of automatisms, to know by doing something why we do it, and not just to make it happen. But it's best to shake yourself. to know when we do something why we do it, not just make it happen. But it's best to shake yourself. to know when we do something why we do it, not just make it happen. But it's best to shake yourself.