Hello! Although I am 22 years old, I am still tormented by the relationship with my mother, with the whole family. It's like I'm a 12-13 year old girl. We have had many quarrels with her, on all sorts of topics. She was telling my brother that I didn't love him, she was setting my grandparents against me ... She was squeezing me all the time. He kept telling me that I was lazy, heartless, selfish, he even told me that I was her biggest failure in life. She always depressed me (supposedly unconsciously) and one day my curtain just fell off, I packed my bags and went to work (if it could be called a job) in Norway. My mother went crazy, first begging me to come back, then threatening me. Years ago I had told her to behave as she wished. One day he just won't rely on me for anything. I am currently engaged to a wonderful person and a few days ago we learned that we will become parents. My mother HATES my husband (not a Negro, an Arab), and her arguments are ridiculous ... I didn't say that at all. She needed me now, and I reminded her that I was "ungrateful and selfish" and planned not to talk to her anymore. I wonder if I should completely cut off my communication, he thinks in a disgusting way and all our conversations end with "shut up, you have poisoned my life". I really don't know what to do, obviously I won't get along with her. If I return to Bulgaria there will be a disgusting situation, everyone will look at me askance, but on the other hand it is appropriate to tell them about the pregnancy, I do not know what to do. I wonder if I should completely cut off my communication, he thinks in a disgusting way and all our conversations end with "shut up, you have poisoned my life". I really don't know what to do, obviously I won't get along with her. If I return to Bulgaria there will be a disgusting situation, everyone will look at me askance, but on the other hand it is appropriate to tell them about the pregnancy, I do not know what to do. I wonder if I should completely cut off my communication, he thinks in a disgusting way and all our conversations end with "shut up, you have poisoned my life". I really don't know what to do, obviously I won't get along with her. If I return to Bulgaria there will be a disgusting situation, everyone will look at me askance, but on the other hand it is appropriate to tell them about the pregnancy, I do not know what to do.
Answers 11
Your mother obviously raised you with ambition, but not with love :( And the lack of true love and tenderness is the reason that the damaged relationship cannot be restored - there is nothing that smooths them out. And things go from bad to worse. "Bad ... You both don't need this poison anymore. Your mother may have a real need for you, but her ego will always prevail, and certainly if she interferes in your relationship with your husband, it will hurt a lot." What is important - it will not change.
Such people do not deserve children !! Apparently you are a terribly strong person, I recommend that you no longer communicate with her, go home and talk to your brother, grandmother, grandfather - the people who love you and you love them, and pretend that she does not exist. People, if you don't understand, blood doesn't mean anything, a sister can be your best friend who has always been by your side and who has always helped and will help you, parents can be your adoptive parents who took you, raised you and gave you with love, when your "mother" allegedly dumped you. The family is not the people who gave their seed to make you sprout and they crush, they consider it their property and they get angry at you, the family are the people who would die for you, and you for them, who always are next to you, which are a huge part of your life. Thank God I have a wonderful family, you will soon have a child and you will be able to give him all the love that your mother deprived you of, I hope you will be born healthy and have a great family. Good luck
Why do you even communicate with someone who doesn't respect you? Who on what you fasted on this lies. You will become a mother and you must be calm for the baby to be healthy. Watch your own life and don't talk to her until she apologizes and regrets her words and actions. You don't care if she likes your husband, you will live with him, not she.
Get rid of her, send her to hell. Sometimes just because someone gave birth to you doesn't mean they're your parent. bile
She probably did it because her mother treated her the same way she treats you now. What you can do is try to explain to her, fight for her, and in a worse case, seek help. But I think you can handle it too, everything is covered with love!
I don't understand these mothers, you wear it for 9 months, you give birth to it and then you beat it, you trample it all your life or leave it to relatives or at home. Ajna
Just look ahead. This is the only thing I can add to the previous posts.
Look now, one of the things a person can't choose in this world is his parents. But whatever they are, they have created us in this world. Do not keep malice in your heart. Tell her you're pregnant and that's it. If you want, wait 3-4 months to get up so he can't grumble about an abortion. Do not interrupt any communication. Your mother may be in need, you don't have to help her. However, she did not leave you hungry on the street. Just limit the flow of information that will reach it. From time to time one way you are, do you need something is enough in my opinion.
Play it totally! I am both a mother and a daughter and I tell you this with full consciousness. Keep her as far away as possible, don't communicate with her at all. He built a family and a home and doesn't think about it at all. Your mother is wrong and selfish, keep her as far away from you as possible, don't attach yourself to her complaints or anything, so that you don't regret it later ...
I fully support №9! With such people who blame someone for everything - there is no way out. If you still give in at times (it's understandable - it's your mother), then keep your husband and children away from her - no communication!
I don't understand how it is possible to have such mothers ... Horror ... You were well advised by the above comments, although we still only have your version, ie I mean that we can not judge 100% what is right and what not.