Hello, I know that many of you will condemn me, but please think before you judge what you would do in such a situation. I am a 34-year-old married woman of 8 years, with two wonderful daughters and an even more wonderful man. The problem is that some time ago I met again a man with whom I had sexual intercourse more than 10 years ago. At that time, our relationship could not be called a relationship in its purest form. About a year ago we met by chance, he called me, I don't remember on what occasion, I think he was on business. We agreed to see each other, to talk, we had not seen each other for years. We talked about everything around us, each of us had something to tell ... We became closer than before, we became friends, he shared everything around him, and there is a lot to share around him, an impossible love that he can't there is, one connection ended ... it is quite complicated with him. The problem is that along with our very good friendship between us, there is also a very strong sexual attraction, which, believe me, I tried in every way to take a shower, alas, it doesn't work. After many months of internal struggle, at one point we indulged in this feeling ... Then, of course, I felt great guilt towards my husband, you just can't imagine how guilty I felt, so he didn't deserve it at all because he's great. man ... We haven't had sex for almost 3 months now, only friendly, but the attraction between us hasn't diminished at all. We see each other, we talk, we are friends, but I have the feeling that this is a bomb that will sooner or later explode again ... I don't want to lose him as a friend, but it's hard for me to be just his friend. Things are the same with him as with me. Sometimes I think that if I indulge in this, sooner or later it will run out and end, but how can I cause something like this to my husband as well as to myself. To hide, to lie, to feel guilty about my actions. I personally no longer know what to do!
Answers 6
... Why don't you end your relationship with this person first? You have lived without it for 10 years, you will be able to do it for the next ones. Stop lying to yourself - if you wanted a friendship with him, you wouldn't spread your legs. Watch your family or watch your instincts. You can't do both, and you can't say that you don't want to lie, to hide. Which is more important in your life - your family or the squirrel? What's stopping you from scratching your itch with your own husband? What prevents you from working on your relationship with him, on your friendship with him, instead of dating other men? ... Lie legs are short. Sooner or later everything will come to light and you will lose everything. Maybe it's better. Your husband really doesn't deserve that kind of treatment
He told you number 1 very correctly. You can overcome your feelings with common sense, but you probably don't want to and allow yourself to be in such a situation.
Some time ago I had almost the same incident, but a little different. I had a neighbor who liked me, we talked in front of the block almost every night, when at one point I wanted him sexually and he was very clear to me who knows how much. So for months we had breath and passionate sex, but I was free then as he was and no one bothered us, but we never talked about anything more, neither of us talked about feelings. Maybe 2 years passed, things weren't the same, he might have met another woman already, or I don't know, anyway, he went to work in England. Before that, I met my current boyfriend, with whom I have been for 3 years, and I can say that I love him more than anything. The neighbor in question called me again, but I naturally listened to my conscience and was in no hurry. I wanted to know if he had ever had anything more to me than sex, but I didn't dare. I just told him that it can't be that I'm a married woman anymore even though I wasn't and that I don't want him even though I knew inwardly that I wanted him more than ever. Anyway, I'm done with it, even though I've been thinking about it for a long time. And from all this work I transferred all the energy to my current friend, I had great sex with him and over time I loved him more than anything. I have never cheated on him and I will not. I prefer a safe and calm relationship, rather than the flames and finally extinguished. I am almost certain that your passion for the man you have not met for so many years is only temporary and nothing will happen. Believe me, if he had cared for you and wanted something from you, he would not have left you for so many years. You weren't going to be with your current husband now, you know, which has ever ended can rarely be continued. Think first of all about your child. But if you are so unhappy with your current husband, because of this other you can try for a while until the passion subsides and be the same again, but you risk your husband catching you and ruining your family. Think with your head before you think about your instinct. Good luck
It's more than clear that it hurts that you never had it. You've never had a relationship, and it's normal after it reappears in your life - to want to do your best to be with him. You yourself say that there is a strong sexual attraction between you ... nice, but are you sure that YOU feel only sexual interest in him? !! Because he may want you, but don't you remember that he can have 10 more women to sleep with? Will it hurt if so? Think before you jump back into his bed. Such "unexperienced love" as yours, more precisely as yours to him, usually becomes your biggest nightmare in life. Think sober ... he won't reciprocate, I guarantee you. If he felt anything for you, he would tell you directly, not just sleep with you. I advise you to end any relationship with him, if you want to stay a married woman ... although it's never too late to become a razor if the one in question rattles. Good luck.
Many times in my life it has happened to people from the past who did not look at me some time ago and I died for them ... you know what it's like to die out in unrequited love. But I am a woman with pride and I move forward without looking back for a moment. He who has not been able to evaluate me in the past for one reason or another has no place in my future. I very quickly turn my back on people who didn't appreciate me some time ago, and maybe that's why I haven't had any serious emotional disappointments so far. And I've always wondered why people don't know how to evaluate things when it's their time, but do it when that moment is missed and it's too late? !!
Don't deal with it. Don't tell your husband! If you have been with your husband until now and without him, then you have not missed anything (or at least nothing significant). You will only have trouble if you continue and your children will suffer. You may not like my answer, but if you continue you will get in trouble. good luck