Hello, I know that there are good people on this site who could help me. At the age of 20 I live with my parents. My problem is this: they are in complete control of my life, they are constantly confusing me, even about things that a person my age should already be making decisions about on his own. Probably many of you will say that after living with them I have to comply but I hope you understand me, I can no longer live so desperately looking for a solution to the problem, I often think whether to consult a psychologist but I am stopped by the fact that you have to pay and I don't have that opportunity because I don't work, so I decided to turn to you. You are my last hope, I will be happy if any of you can help me because I can no longer live like this.
Answers 10
Hi, I'm 20 too, girl. I understand very well what it is about. I know from personal experience that the only way to get rid of all this is to move out, so you have to find a job. If you know a foreign language, especially English or German, you have a wide choice. You can go to a call center to work, there are not bad salaries. Are you studying something? If yes, and you are for example 2-3 courses, I think you can find a job in the specialty, especially if you are studying something with economics. I recently looked at job postings and for students who are studying economics and are 3-4 year old, there were many opportunities. But I think that for any specialty, there is no problem. The last option I offer you, although it is not correct - if you do not study and you are not from Sofia, sign up to study there, be in a dormitory and they, if they generally give you money,
Just because you live with them doesn't mean they can get involved. I also live with my parents, but they have long understood that I do not want them to interfere in my personal affairs. Of course, when I go out I tell them where I'm going, how far I'm going to go ... Mostly so that they are calm and don't worry. But I don't give them an account of other things. I decide for myself.
Thanks for the advice. Regarding this, working or studying cannot happen, especially in Sofia or another city, because I am disabled and therefore I cannot afford to move out. I study a language at home on my own, but it's more for fun because I love that language. The hope to find a job and thus get out of the "shackles" of ours has long since evaporated. As for the other piece of advice, for which I am also infinitely grateful: I have repeatedly argued with them because they no longer have the right to confuse me about the things I am talking about at the moment, but the only thing I encourage are scandals and the answer that while living with them I have no right to opinion on anything.
Export without any negotiations. You find a job, and there will be no smoke. There are no fixes with such. When I was your age, I went to pack. It wasn't tears and snot, "why did we make this house for you," "we'll copy it for you," blah, blah. It was an unaffordable mortgage for me, and I decided to stay at the great Dallas mansion. In 10 years I spent a bag of money on the father in question, supposedly my house. If it weren't for me, they would still be living on linoleum and windows 86 set. A week ago, a scandal ended with "if you don't like it, get out", "this is my house", "who are you here". In order not to be on my side after a while, I still say get out. Your people are manipulators holding you in a subordinate position.
If you do not study, enroll in Sofia to study and you will run away from them. If you study, find an internship at least and so little by little when you become financially independent you will be able to move out. Until that time comes, just keep telling them you're big and if they don't hear, don't talk to them or defiantly stop communicating with them. You can also find a boyfriend and spend most of your time with him instead of at home with your parents.
Thank you very much to everybody. Any advice is useful to me to some extent. For now, given my situation, it seems most appropriate for me to at least try to either find a boyfriend or not talk to them and try to avoid them.
"I can't" and "right now" are written separately!
For advice on your life from now on it depends exactly what percentage you are disabled, I mean what is your disease and how much you depend on your parents. Do you remember that diabetics and asthmatics are disabled and people without mobility in a wheelchair in diapers who cannot change them on their own are also disabled.
There are also jobs online (ie you work from home), research the issue. You do not share whether you can take care of yourself in everyday life - shopping, cooking, laundry, cleaning, ironing. If you have no problems, my advice is to focus on working in an online store. To raise money and move out. What if you are disabled, can't you study? There are also distance forms of education, there are also professions suitable for people with reduced working capacity. I don't like the word disabled at all. Deteriorating health is not a reason to stop living and studying. There are many examples of successful people who have had serious health problems. There are even programs for training and implementation. Take an interest! I guess yours are interfering mostly because they consider you a person who needs to be protected all the time. Try to explain to them, that this puts a lot of strain on your psyche, and that there is really no difference between the spirit of people without illness or physical disability and those with, except that the latter are stronger mentally. Try to take responsibilities for them. For example, to pay bills, taxes, to organize an event. They have to believe that you have grown up, a strong man. It is not an option to look for a friend at any cost and immediately throw yourself at someone who wants to take advantage of you. Be careful! You probably have no experience and would easily let you down. Be very careful in this regard! that you grew up, a strong man. It is not an option to look for a friend at any cost and immediately throw yourself at someone who wants to take advantage of you. Be careful! You probably have no experience and would easily let you down. Be very careful in this regard! that you grew up, a strong man. It is not an option to look for a friend at any cost and immediately throw yourself at someone who wants to take advantage of you. Be careful! You probably have no experience and would easily let you down. Be very careful in this regard!
I don't think my condition matters that much. Whatever it is, I am of the opinion that once a person is an adult, he has the right to decide some things on his own. I turned to you for advice because there are probably other people in my situation who I hope will understand me, because if a person has not experienced something on their own, there is no way to understand someone else's pain, if I may put it that way. I'm not one of those girls who catches up with the first person I meet, I just look at it as an opportunity to get out of the situation and not hurt myself, and of course that doesn't mean I'm going to go with the first boy who gets in my way. . I repeat, I am not such a person, so please do not judge me. I'm just looking for a solution to my problem like all the people who post on this site.