Hi, you've probably read a lot of stories like mine. I was really wondering if I should write mine, but I decided it was better to share, because it's been 3 months since I've been tormented in this way, like in some black hole from which there is no escape. I am 19 years old. I graduated and now I will study in another city. So far so good. And although I'm basically an ambitious girl, the future is in front of me, I'm going to learn what I want, and it really wasn't easy to achieve, I feel like I can't find a way out. Almost 2 years ago I met a boy. At first it didn't impress me much, but over time the feelings came. We were together for 1 year. It was my best year, but I didn't realize it until I lost it. During this time, he showed me in every way that he loved me. I didn't let him in completely, in a sense, it took me a while to get to the bigger step of really being with him. During this time he did not press me, he knew he was the first in my life. We passed the ball. The time has come. But then he began to change. It got colder at times. I began to doubt and asked to talk to him because I saw him going for coffee with his ex and our mutual friends. I wanted to know if they had cheated on me and if so, don't make a fool of me and we'd better break up. He assured me that there was nothing, because indeed she had hurt him at the bottom in the past, cheating on everyone and he had ended. After that, things seemed to be going well, we were making plans to be together, while he kept lying to me about small things like not going out with him, but going out with his friends. That was the drop. Again I wanted to talk and tell me where the reason was. It was as if I were taking a word out of his mouth with a hook: that he needed a change, that things had gone too deep, that I had gone to study, all nonsense. I asked him if it was final, and he said "I don't know." It's been 2 months. We parted as friends, but not only in the beginning, but now that we see each other, he can't communicate with me as with people. He avoids me, trying not to look me in the eye when we happen to be at one table. It's like he feels guilty. We exchange a story and that's it. Now don't go with another one. But the strange thing is that she speaks so normally to the one who hurt him so much. Where is the logic The other day I found out something from his friend, something that hurt me, which made it clear that it wasn't because of the distance that we were parting, but because I lacked experience in sex. He compared me to her. So how can such a thing. To love a man, to know that you are the first in his life and finally because of such nonsense everything to hell. If it was for one sex why would he wait 1 year? I can't find an explanation. To give so much to a person, the most valuable thing, not that he realizes it and in the end what ... Not that I'm sorry, because I did it out of love, I thought he was the right person. And now I feel insecure, it's hard for me to trust myself again, to let someone near me. After 3 weeks I go to study, instead of rejoicing I suffer for a fool who does not even want to develop, but to tread in one place. How to get rid of all this? I do not know. I have everything - beautiful, young, smart, with a desire to progress and develop, and suddenly something broke in me. I don't even know if going to the new city will allow me to forget it so easily. I doubt. I know I will meet others, but will the pain and insecurity in my heart allow me to give it another chance? I need advice because I don't know how to handle it. I know that everything should be a closed page now, but it really hurt me from what I learned, from the fact that he had been deceiving me for so long and maybe he would still do it. I apologize a lot that everything is so long and confusing, but I wanted to tell this as it is to get the advice of people older than me, with experience or people who have been through something like this. Thanks! but I wanted to tell this as it is to get advice from people older than me, with experience, or from people who have been through something like this. Thanks! but I wanted to tell this as it is to get advice from people older than me, with experience, or from people who have been through something like this. Thanks!
Answers 11
Hello. I am a 21 year old man. First forget to mention how old your boyfriend is? But overall, the reason he left you is really maybe that. By the middle of the text you wrote, I thought he was cold to you because he had been showering you with love for a long time and you, as you put it, "you didn't let him in completely" ... but if you believe this friend who told you the real reason must be so. I know it's hard for you, etc. but look at the situation from this angle, at the moment you think that this is almost the great love and for the moment maybe in that heart it is exactly so ... BUT I personally think that when love is not shared it is not BIG .. The great and true love must be shared and make both happy. Going to another city there will be a lot of new people ... as you said your young beautiful ... and most importantly smart :) you will find the right person. From what I've read, you're one of the few decent girls left about it, and I have no doubt about your success! PP You could be a colleague :))))
Sex is important, I would not be with a person who does not satisfy me sexually. Yes, I can hold on to it, but when something is missing in a relationship, you are not completely committed. No wonder why he waited a whole year, he may have been with other girls for sex, but don't regret breaking up with him because it might be for the better. However, in order to understand how to know men, you must have a little experience, even if someone hurts you, nothing will happen to you. I have been hurt many times because I was completely devoted to the people around me, at one point I began to give nothing but to want. And when I thought I was with someone, by the denominator "next", I found a person who loves me as I am, with all my shortcomings - and they are not small. Of course I love him too, and in sex everything is fine. I want to tell you, that you should not despair and that life is ahead of you, and you may still be hurt by men, but that will only teach you to control yourself, to know what you want and how to achieve it. And one more thing, there is no friendship between exes, so don't expect to be friends.
How to move on and forget it ... it will be very difficult for you, really. This is a whole year ... There are many memories, many good moments, a lot of pain. It would be best to try to distance yourself from this boy, who seems to have not appreciated you as you are. By the way, it's also hard for me to let people in, and maybe that's why I lost my friend I was dating for a year. Last month he moved away from me and .. he started dating one of his "girlfriends" .. it turned out very bad when he started to prefer her to me and compare us .. that she had much more confidence in him that he allowed more to themselves that they understood each other better, etc. All sorts of nonsense .. Blah-blah ... Yeah .. I was very disappointed. Now I'm in such a situation that .. I just can't talk :( We broke up with him .. and he left the next day with the "girlfriend" in question ... I felt terrible. At the moment, I both love and hate him ... It's awful and I think I fully understand you. I think you have to do the same thing I do .. This is my way of forgetting it .. and so far I think I'm doing well, but it takes time and a lot of patience. Yeah .. every time you start thinking about it (which happens almost all the time) do something to distract you .. for example read and listen to music, but not some ballads or songs that remind you of him. Give yourself completely to yourself. HE IS NOT THE ONLY ONE! Change the situation ... get closer to other people, find new friends, go out more. Be only "hello" and "hello" with him, because after love there can be no friendship. you will only hurt yourself more. You can't be with a person with whom you kissed, hugged until yesterday ... who you loved and still love ... you just can't be friends. :( This is the nasty truth .. He didn't appreciate you and I don't think he deserves you as much as my friend didn't deserve me, but ... I fell for him too much ... and now I'm in the same situation. let me just tell you .. head up! Soon you will go to another city, as you say - believe me - everything will change .. new people will help you forget it (well .. not completely, but at least you will get used to the idea that you are not together and you will realize that there are many better than him, for whom sex is not the most important!) Do not lose hope and .. no matter how nasty you do not show it! Smile .. enjoy life , go to parties, have fun .. these are the best years of your life - do not waste them, suffering for a fool, who did not deserve your attention at all !!! There are different people in this world, there is enough time in front of you, and it will help you! Patience is required ... :) Everything will be OK! ;)
Hi, I'm a 23 year old girl and I can tell you this: darling, don't feel sorry for this boy in any way. I know it hurts now, but later you will be glad that you were released on time and lost only 1 year with him, because there are many who waste more time on the wrong person. At first I like to read only here, but I don't usually write comments, but after reading your story, I don't know why I intended to tell you that it's good that you broke up. The first thing that led me to this was the thought that this boy obviously didn't care about you when he told his friends about your sex life. I know from experience that boys tend to tell their friends about their antics, but not about having sex with serious friends. Men usually support the thesis "mine is mine, someone else's is common". So, that if this boy shares with friends, then he has not seen you seriously, and you are still young, of course it is not said that you will marry. When you go to study, you will see how sweet student life is, and believe me, you will hardly remember it. And when you find the right person, your heart will tell you, you will not have uncertainty in peace. This is a bitter experience in your life and rejoice, because we must have such moments to learn from our mistakes, because you sound like a girl who is learning. And there are those who do not learn and repeat mistake after mistake, let them think :). Good luck darling, enjoy the student years, because they pass very quickly, but they are one of the best in life, and you will experience them. Leave it to this little fellow who is not evolving to see what he will do in time. and you are still young, of course it is not said that you will marry. When you go to study, you will see how sweet student life is, and believe me, you will hardly remember it. And when you find the right person, your heart will tell you, you will not have uncertainty in peace. This is a bitter experience in your life and rejoice, because we must have such moments to learn from our mistakes, because you sound like a girl who is learning. And there are those who do not learn and repeat mistake after mistake, let them think :). Good luck darling, enjoy the student years, because they pass very quickly, but they are one of the best in life, and you will experience them. Leave it to this little fellow who is not evolving to see what he will do in time. and you are still young, of course it is not said that you will marry. When you go to study, you will see how sweet student life is, and believe me, you will hardly remember it. And when you find the right person, your heart will tell you, you will not have uncertainty in peace. This is a bitter experience in your life and rejoice, because we must have such moments to learn from our mistakes, because you sound like a girl who is learning. And there are those who do not learn and repeat mistake after mistake, let them think :). Good luck darling, enjoy the student years, because they pass very quickly, but they are one of the best in life, and you will experience them. Leave it to this little fellow who is not evolving to see what he will do in time. you will see how sweet student life is and believe me you will hardly remember it. And when you find the right person, your heart will tell you, you will not have uncertainty in peace. This is a bitter experience in your life and rejoice, because we must have such moments to learn from our mistakes, because you sound like a girl who is learning. And there are those who do not learn and repeat mistake after mistake, let them think :). Good luck darling, enjoy the student years, because they pass very quickly, but they are one of the best in life, and you will experience them. Leave it to this little fellow who doesn't develop to see what he will do in time. you will see how sweet student life is and believe me you will hardly think of it. And when you find the right person, your heart will tell you, you will not have uncertainty in peace. This is a bitter experience in your life and rejoice, because we must have such moments in order to learn from our mistakes, because you sound like a girl who is learning. And there are those who do not learn and repeat mistake after mistake, let them think :). Good luck darling, enjoy the student years, because they pass very quickly, but they are one of the best in life, and you will experience them. Leave it to this little fellow who is not evolving to see what he will do in time. This is a bitter experience in your life and rejoice, because we must have such moments to learn from our mistakes, because you sound like a girl who is learning. And there are those who do not learn and repeat mistake after mistake, let them think :). Good luck darling, enjoy the student years, because they pass very quickly, but they are one of the best in life, and you will experience them. Leave it to this little fellow who doesn't develop to see what he will do in time. This is a bitter experience in your life and rejoice, because we must have such moments to learn from our mistakes, because you sound like a girl who is learning. And there are those who do not learn and repeat mistake after mistake, let them think :). Good luck darling, enjoy the student years, because they pass very quickly, but they are one of the best in life, and you will experience them. Leave it to this little fellow who is not evolving to see what he will do in time.
Great comments were written by everyone :) I want to wish the author a lot of success ..... you will not forget it .. that's for sure .... I am a second year student ... I tried everything ... I go to the gym ..... I play tennis on a cord ..... I came up with all sorts of ways just to not have a free minute to think about it ... It just got worse :) It's not easy to forget a person you loved ..... I just don't know what to tell you ... I can't express an opinion or a statement that he didn't love you .. or anything ... you know best how it was .... I just have to reconcile and just look ahead :) I remember that the man I loved for 3 years loved me unconditionally and repeated how if one day I leave him he will die and finally what happened .... let's leave the fact that he dumped me .. well, 2 months later he was dating another ...and I who was supposed to be almost the Iron Lady .... for a year now roaring about him like a little child .. but that's another topic ... excuse me all for the spelling mistakes ... and Mila, go ahead and up ..... I hug you .. and from the bottom of my heart I wish you a successful study :)
3 months? / Off, I've been like this for a year !!! Good luck to you .. and .. YOU WILL NEVER FORGET HIM, IF YOUR FIRST LOVE IS A LITTLE OR A LOT YOU WILL ALWAYS LOVE HIM !!! I haven't had a boyfriend for 1 year, and when I feel like having sex, I do it with my best friend .. just girlfriends .. um ... I mean, you can't easily forget someone ... and if you want, go to the moon. (I'm sorry for the statement), but unfortunately it's like that ... come on darling good luck and I hope you get better faster than me, that I have been suffering for a year .. and now I continue and I don't know how much more .. but I wish you the pain to pass to such an extent that at least it is tolerable .. that now there are moments when I sit in front of the mirror shouting and crying .. abe mani .. I'm one ... anyway, come on and go bolder, but just get it out of your head "will I forget it" because you will NOT forget it ..!
Hello darling! I read your story and was very impressed. I want to tell you that every next love is stronger, more exciting and bigger (at least for me). I think you will forget it very quickly when you go to study. As long as you decide for yourself that you want to kill him at any cost. At such moments I have appreciated how nice it is to be free, to be able to flirt with whomever you want, to meet different guys, to have fun. Don't regret anything. Everything that happens to you is for the good. You will see how many better guys there are than him, those who will make you feel like a real and loved woman. PP To find your prince, you have to kiss a lot of frogs :)
Hi, I see your story now. People are a complex matter, as are feelings and everything else. I don't know if you are still suffering and how things have turned out for you in 4 months, but know that everything passes sooner or later. Man is designed to endure the pain that fate inflicts on him and to draw strength from it for the truly important things. I also experienced great disappointment and after 5 years of relationship I managed to get rid of all the painful thoughts and torments. The important thing is not to give up the life you can have and to immerse yourself in grief, to suffer it to the extreme, and then just ignore it and move on. I no longer remember exactly how this is achieved, but it is real. As you know, in severe physical pain the body refuses and a person falls unconscious or in another protective state. This also happens with mental pain. The brain can't stand it and eventually ignores it. There is no point in feeling somehow because of someone's stupid actions, there is no point in looking for logic, there is simply no such thing. Thousands more nonsense will go through your head and you will understand that things must happen in order to gain experience that will help us in the future. Head up and horns forward. Fear is a bad advisor, so don't let it in your next relationships. Even if you are disappointed again, live fully and truly, so that you do not regret it later and do not feel that you have missed something. Fear is a bad advisor, so don't let it in your next relationships. Even if you are disappointed again, live fully and truly, so that you do not regret it later and do not feel that you have missed something. Fear is a bad advisor, so don't let it in your next relationships. Even if you are disappointed again, live fully and truly, so that you do not regret it later and do not feel that you have missed something.
If I'm on you, I won't look for him anymore. I will finish my studies, I will improve in sex and I will wait for the moment when I will show him what I am capable of. I will caress him, I will tempt him, I will drive him mad with passion and then I will abandon him. Let him know what he missed. This will be a kind of revenge. Good luck.
Hello, unknown girl! I will be brief - my advice is - to recover and look at yourself. Time will make you forget. Pain remains - it is overcome. Learn from your mistakes. You will meet a person who truly loves you - I am convinced of that. Remember that everything is a moment. Love is like fire, it must be fueled. Love - this is respect for the person next to you. You will meet your prince ... But don't forget that life is a challenge. Complete happiness does not exist. The strong are always alone! Be strong and persistent, and give love - YOU WILL RECEIVE IT. YOU DESERVE THIS.
Look, something similar happened to me, but it was 2 years or so. Over time, weak feelings fade ... the reason is not in sex, believe me. He may have said this to his friends, because first of all - boys are not like us to pour out their souls to their friends and it is much more natural and easy for them to explain to a friend who knew about you that the problem is in sex. ... secondly yes - he may not have been happy with something, but that was certainly not the main reason - one year is not a short time and if that was his problem, it would be less ... The reasons may to be two - he did not have strong enough feelings, he saw that things were getting serious and he twisted his tail. Or - he saw that he had already won you over and you are not inaccessible to him, when you let him into your heart he ran away ... Well, men, what can I tell you - and let our heads burst with thoughts,