I am a 23-year-old girl with complexes and insecurities that have hindered and ruined my life for as long as I can remember ... I know it is good to visit a psychologist, but before that I need your opinion and advice. I've never had a boyfriend, because when someone tries to get to know me, I immediately start thinking, "Why would this guy choose me when I have thousands of prettier and sexier girls on hand? Especially when he has 5,000 friends on Facebook. and most of the "luxury" chicks. And I immediately think why am I him at all, who is far from beautiful, let alone so perfect looking .. and I answer that he is just completely desperate and there is nothing interesting "on the market" in the moment and as soon as he finds a more beautiful girl than me, he will immediately dump me. This way of thinking destroys my life and even worse - it makes me lose the meaning of love in general and the desire to live in general. Please, people from the bottom of my heart, give me advice and help me
Answers 14
No 5,000 and 5,000,000 friends to have on Facebook in no one can score it !! You lost her with that internet to her; ((
Well, you judge yourself clearly and probably by a criterion by which you judge men, and just as there are those who would not choose, there are those who would not choose you. Out of almost 10 billion people, if only this is your criterion, you will spend your whole life looking for the "right one", according to the topic you have released, you cannot attract anything but beauty.
"Why will this boy choose me when I have thousands of more beautiful and sexy girls on hand?" - well, your answer is in front of your eyes every day. Every woman has a husband, they have children, etc. If it was as you think, then only a few would get married, and everyone else would sit on the sides, sigh and watch their soap opera series. And your train will come, the knife will not be the most beautiful, nor the smartest, or with the most "friends", but it will be YOURS. And when you cut the odds, you're just making fun of yourself ... Eventually you'll get the name that you're a lesbian or something, and no one will deal with you anymore, even if they want to ... I don't think that you need a psychologist ... Just overcome yourself, throw your head forward in a relationship, it will surely hurt you, you will probably not succeed once or twice, but these are completely normal stages of growing up, maturing ... We have all experienced them. And who knows - you can succeed the first time! That's how my mother and father met - they were the first, and so all my life.
You're wrong here, girl! I assure you. At the age of 28, I was still a proud student who had just returned from abroad with many opportunities. I did not study in my city, but in another, much smaller one. Girls - pain, experiences - pain, all in honey and butter. The wind blows me on a white mare. At one wonderful moment, in the club where I was staying in the evening, I met a wonderful creature, hunched over, without self-confidence, huddled in a corner and sipping lightly from his drink. In principle, I appreciate female beauty, but I appreciated this girl in a completely different way - not for one night, but for something longer, something with perspective. As an unscrupulous person (at the time), I spoke to him immediately, and after spending most of the evening with her and her friends (who most tactfully left us alone), I invited her to a meeting the next day. Centrally located in the city in question, at 19:00. My intentions were absolutely pure, because I saw and understood that I had a pure person against me. I went to the meeting 15 minutes earlier. It was dark, but at the appointed time I saw her coming. I went to her, we saw each other. I will never forget her words, even after so many years. He said, "And you came anyway." And it was exactly the same beautiful, small, green-eyed creature of nature. We had dinner, went to a club, then - bye-bye, with nothing. And so for more than a month. I have changed completely. This girl had fascinated me from everywhere. One evening, I still remember very well, standing behind the club on a bridge, he asked me the following question: "What does a Sofian with opportunities like you do, with such a little pomakinche as me?" because I don't think it matters who is from where, but rather who is what in himself, as I did not have such opportunities at that time, excluding the money I had saved for n-years of rushing abroad). Her question killed me outright. There was nothing to say. This wonderful creature gave it to me, who, compared to her intellectual abilities, hard work, and whatever else anyone could think of, was a total sediment. In the end, with a lot of effort, tenderness and security on my part, I managed to win her heart. Not her, I hers, because she had won mine from the beginning. We were together for a long time, we loved each other a lot, but for one reason or another, we broke up, which is probably nice and will be good for both of us. Currently we are both married and although we live 10-15 km. from each other, we do not keep in touch. Whatever it was. We look ahead. Here's a girl, this absolutely real story, developed for and for years is indicative of where and how you can start. And, by the way, the girl in question was 24 at the time and hadn't even been with a man until now ...
Take the beautiful ones - it's normal and somehow it doesn't hurt so much to be replaced by someone more beautiful than you. See if they change to uglier I would worry (if I were a woman);))
Hello! I want to tell you that I think you think too much about these things. I admit that I was like that in my teens, but over time I realized that if a man likes you, then there is a reason. We are not just talking about appearance here. It is an indisputable factor, but there are other deeper things. Don't be superficial. Exclude from your consciousness that someone is more beautiful than you. Everyone has their own charm. I have seen unique beauties that men lightly replace as charmers. I've also seen men break up with their beautiful girlfriends and get involved with less beautiful ones. You are you. If you yourself do not find the beauty in you both externally and in the soul, do not wait for someone else to sit down and tell you why he is talking to you. He does, so he has found something in you. And whether you're a toy doesn't matter. Have fun. It's easier and more convenient.
"When a woman thinks all men are donkeys, she doesn't graze on the right lawn." Change the lawn! ;) The guys you describe aren't completely desperate, they just throw the line in many places and where it bites. Yes, if a man has thousands of unrealistic "acquaintances" with "business" profiles focused on the "aesthetic" sphere, then the probability of meeting your searches tends to 0. Yes, of course, there will always be more beautiful and / or younger women. There will always be more sporty ones. Dancing better. With better cooking skills. Better for mothers. With better skills in bed and more sexual desire. With values and interests closer to his. More smiling. More understanding. More balanced and harmonious. More demanding, but with skill and "caressing with velvet gloves". With better communication skills in general. More intelligent and literate. With a better profession. With more free time. With more money. Etc. There are always better at something! Always! So it is with women and men - with all people! But there are none just like us, with a combination of our physical and personal qualities. The key is to first accept and love yourself. To understand what you want and what you need. To focus on environments and people like you. Then everything falls into place at the right time. :) Ж31 To understand what you want and what you need. To focus on environments and people like you. Then everything falls into place at the right time. :) Ж31 To understand what you want and what you need. To focus on environments and people like you. Then everything falls into place at the right time. :) Ж31
Ha ha, chick tighten at the waist. Not everything in this world is shiny packaging. Haven't you learned from the last generations of women? Each tries to be tuned and repaired and they become a mold. I have never been complicated by this, on the contrary. I am proud that everything is mine and I do everything myself. I read sideways and I can have enough different conversations with the man on the other side. Believe me, this is much more. Sex is for a while, then you have to talk about something.
He had 50,000 shiny muffins for friends in a surat notebook. First, such a person who sleeps in front of Facebook is an internet maniac. He lives and thinks in his virtual way. Second, if there are "shiny" girlfriends in real life and not with them, did you ask yourself why you don't go with one? Didn't it occur to you that they are not a flower to smell and are only for parade and ostentation. 50% of men reach a point where they are looking for a good and modest girl. Be the most important person. I have seen a lot of men who are intelligent, good, beautiful with a woman next to them who is not a mouse. Another question is, why do you want to be like these freaks? You know it's just in your head. That's how you get discouraged. From there you start looking at the ground, shame, underestimation, stuttering and from there you are already trying to escape crushed. Why? !! Do you miss a limb? Or do you think that you are ugly? Do you have one breast? It's in your head! I'm a man of 39. I won't talk about how many relationships I've had. They are enough. None of these relationships the woman was lovely or shiny. And I sigh more shiny, but I know what they are and I just look at them. 6 years ago, after a series of failures for a serious relationship, we met my current wife. Everything was perfect. At least for me. That's what I was looking for. We understood each other. We helped each other. And directly in plain text and in her eyes and I said: -We are not the first youth, I want my child, let's not waste our time. "We got to the point where she stayed with me. She got pregnant. And when she found out in the second month that she was pregnant, this woman went crazy! She turned 180 degrees. She was irritable, irritable, waiting for me to come home from work to start giving me raises scandals that the water was wet, gives birth to 300 dawns. For a week in the maternity ward, he did not pick up the phone once. I had to go and ask them to give me some information. He fought with my mother because she didn't raise two children and she doesn't understand. To this day, she continues to harass me and my 5-year-old son with psychosis. He lives in his world and does not try anything normal. I got distracted. Be yourself. Don't pretend to be shiny and cowardly. There are men out there who sigh at you. You just have to get out of your stupid fears and see them. And finally. Why do you live in the surat-notebook? What do you find there besides ostentation and "shine". Raise your head and bolder. Remember that "shiny" apples - pigs eat them! To this day, she continues to harass me and my 5-year-old son with psychosis. He lives in his world and does not try anything normal. I got distracted. Be yourself. Don't pretend to be shiny and cowardly. There are men out there sighing at you. You just have to get out of your stupid fears and see them. And finally. Why do you live in the surat-notebook? What do you find there besides ostentation and "shine". Raise your head and bolder. Remember that "shiny" apples - pigs eat them! To this day, she continues to harass me and my 5-year-old son with psychosis. He lives in his world and does not try anything normal. I got distracted. Be yourself. Don't pretend to be shiny and cowardly. There are men out there who sigh at you. You just have to get out of your stupid fears and see them. And finally. Why do you live in the surat-notebook? What do you find there besides ostentation and "shine". Raise your head and be bolder. Remember that "shiny" apples - pigs eat them! Why do you live in the surat-notebook? What do you find there besides ostentation and "shine". Raise your head and bolder. Remember that "shiny" apples - pigs eat them! Why do you live in the surat-notebook? What do you find there besides ostentation and "shine". Raise your head and be bolder. Remember that "shiny" apples - pigs eat them!
23-year-old GIRL ... People, I turn to those who raise their children ... pay a little attention to these children ... There is no way for TV and Facebook to bring them up ... They go back at least 10 years ... At 23, whatever we tell this ... girl ... he won't tie, and he'll think we're insulting him. At the age of 13 you had to sit down and communicate with your children on these topics ...
Haha, number 1, absolutely true! "Girl" you are a WOMAN at 23, you have no self-confidence because you do not rely on yourself, your problem is not love, but the feeling of self-importance and strength. Now get out of the house and take care of yourself! It's high time you grow up and start accepting yourself as an adult who has to fend for himself in life! Good luck all "girls" and "boys" in their 20s: D I have a feeling that some people, even at 40, will think they are teen ....
Number 10, who to sit, those who entered the "transition" at the age of 20-25 write them off from any expectations, they are created by the system to be just that. For statistics, I'm not 60, after 89 I was born.
One falls in love with the eyes, but loves with the heart! Imagine that you catch a boyfriend and everything is as it should be between you. You understand each other, you feel good with each other. You love each other. And at one point you meet a beautiful stranger who is much more magnetic and attractive than your friend. So what are you going to do? Will you quickly throw away the person you love for the one you don't know? Men are also people, they are not so early :) And they have reason, feelings; they are not guided blindly by instinct. Well, yes, there are some, but we can't put them all under one cover. If you can't shake off this, I would advise you to seek a psychologist to help you find the roots of this problem. ж30
And I'm worried about our daughter. She is 14. She does not allow to be photographed, she runs away from family photos since she entered puberty, we have practically no photo with her. She was photographed in the back on her Facebook account. She has skin and bones and her obsession is to be even weaker. It is not anorexia, thank God, sometimes he is very hungry and eats with pleasure. She began to be extremely pretentious about clothes. In the coldest weather, she will go out in sandals rather than boots that do not fit the color of her outfit. Of course, just like the author, she thinks that she is not beautiful, and there is not a single defect in her appearance. I really hope that by the age of 23 he will get a real idea of himself.
The bad thing is that he transfers the lack of self-confidence to education as well. She just "decides" she's too dumb, too lazy, too ignorant and not deserving of high praise anyway, so why bother? !! It is not the work of personal example. Her father and I are both good-looking, supportive, educated, in love, and very sociable. That is, she has no complexes or unhealthy family environment around her. Should I somehow set a standard for her that she can't meet? I wonder! Author, if you want us to help you (and in this way you will help another girl), maybe it's nice to share some information about your parents. I am very intrigued by your case. Should I somehow set a standard for her that she can't meet? I wonder! Author, if you want us to help you (and in this way you will help another girl), maybe it's nice to share some information about your parents. I am very intrigued by your case. Should I somehow set a standard for her that she can't meet? I wonder! Author, if you want us to help you (and in this way you will help another girl), maybe it's nice to share some information about your parents. I am very intrigued by your case.