Hello. I will ask you to publish my story, because I need to share my thoughts with someone, but I do not have the courage to make it real, so I turn to the monitor. I hasten to say that I am not seeking advice - what has happened has already happened and there is no way to change it. I will just try to overcome it. I have always required myself to be brave, strong, independent. I am taught not to show my weakness, and when I have to be weak - to hide it. I blame myself easily and I have high demands on myself, which I think I have to cover at all costs. I met a boy a few months ago. It was not love at first sight for me or for him. I agreed to start dating him not because I was in love with him, but because at that moment I felt alone. And despite all my talk about how a woman should be strong and independent without a man, I desperately needed love, and then I felt as alone as ever. It is important to say that this is my first and last relationship, at least for now. However, I thought that despite my humble experience, I knew what I should do - never give myself completely, never lower my head, never lose my dignity. And in the beginning, I followed my own advice ... by the time he started to lose interest, and I was no longer alone enough. In a few weeks, I became my worst version. Slowly but surely I became desperate to hold him. I gave him everything. I was ready to sleep with him, even though I didn't want him to just stay with me. I became what I had promised myself never to be. I didn't feel his love, but even his little attention was enough for me. Because I was so lonely. At some point, he may have realized this ... I don't know. But whatever the reason, he found another. At first, when I found out that he had cheated on me, I blamed him terribly - especially for not having the courage to tell me. But what I only realized later was how he tried to break up with me twice ... and I was too insecure to leave him. I became what I hated the most - a sticky, a victim who is too weak to be his own support. I'm so ashamed. I can't let anyone see this part of me, so I can't share it with anyone. I was so weak, pathetic. I can't stop thinking about him and our relationship because I'm still weak. I desperately want to be loved. And I'm a hypocrite because I've been saying so long, that one has to be one's own support, oneself to love oneself, but I can't do that. Guilt eats away at me, but shame is what bothers me the most. I don't know if I can forgive myself. It hurts me because he stopped caring about me, but what hurts me the most is that I made a fool of myself. Just because I wanted someone to love me. I'm ashamed that this is my story. I feel that I have lost all my dignity. And even though I didn't have sex with him, I was so willing to give him anything that it was as if I had. But I can't hide that in myself anymore. I know you will judge me, but no one can judge me as harshly as I judge myself. but what hurts me the most is that I made a fool of myself. Just because I wanted someone to love me. I'm ashamed that this is my story. I feel that I have lost all my dignity. And even though I didn't have sex with him, I was so willing to give him anything that it was as if I had. But I can't hide that in myself anymore. I know you will judge me, but no one can judge me as harshly as I judge myself. but what hurts me the most is that I made a fool of myself. Just because I wanted someone to love me. I'm ashamed that this is my story. I feel that I have lost all my dignity. And even though I didn't have sex with him, I was so willing to give him anything that it was as if I had. But I can't hide that in myself anymore. I know you will judge me, but no one can judge me as harshly as I judge myself.
Answers 5
Judging by what is written, you must be very young, most likely a student. I see that you are making the same mistakes that I still make, even though I am much older than you. I will try to give you some general tips, see if you can get something out of them. Your failed relationship is the smallest problem. There is it in everyone's life. This will pass. But this self-criticism, self-accusations, manic demands on oneself - this is no longer normal. So am I, and that can crush you at some point. And repel others. It is our shortcomings and weaknesses that make us human. Accept that you have them and love yourself with them. He works on them, but he doesn't hate himself for them. Don't always try to be strong. Allow yourself weakness in front of your loved ones. And remember that the most important person in your life is yourself and no one can give away happiness Happiness!
You already know that you have to be strong in order to be patient until someone suitable comes with whom you will be because you like it, not because you are alone. It's over, look ahead and don't blame yourself so much.
There is nothing reprehensible in your story - everyone has fallen into an emotional hole at least once in their life, has fallen in love with someone with the clear awareness that this is not their man, has neglected their principles with the clear awareness that he is wrong, has longed for things , which could not happen to him, he wanted only because he needed and he was wanted. If you were lucky (look at it this way of things), you could get to "I was ready to sleep with him, even though I didn't want him to just stay with me." Then you would feel completely different. You haven't lost anything at the moment, you've probably come across another one that has been spinning for a month and when he saw that they wouldn't let him go, he found another one to do.
I'm a 27-year-old boy and I think you're worthy of shaking your hand. It may be unfortunate, but it's not embarrassing. It's just a pity it was unrequited love. Knowing you girls how gentle you are it is normal to want love tenderness protection and care. I think you're super cool. Love is a feeling that cannot be controlled ... it is just an element. And I don't let you call yourself a sticky hey. I understand you. It's like being hungry and not eating - there's no way. Although banal - time heals. Calm down. You will surely find another. Someone will always touch you, but do not rush with sex. Even if you did, there is no guarantee that you will stay together
As long as these feminist slogans are for a strong and independent woman, such a woman is not feminine and cannot attract and hold the attention of a man. The attractiveness of a woman is in her femininity, vulnerability, sensuality, tenderness, etc., and not in being a poor copy of a man's character. You are fighting against your nature and you feel dissatisfied, lonely and unhappy. The person on the other side is also dissatisfied because he receives mixed signals. You both send him signals that you are lonely, vulnerable, wanting a male presence, and you fight against it and want to be independent, strong and similar feminist slogans. Women who manage to distort their nature and transform their characters from feminine to masculine are most often alone, because no man wants his own copy for a woman. The man is attracted by femininity and not by the masculinity of the woman.