Hello, 2 years ago I ended my long-term relationship because things were no longer going well. Last summer at the sea I met a boy I liked at first sight, but unfortunately I had to return to Sofia the same day. I'm on the following principle, we may never meet again and that's why I grabbed the moment to exchange fb. The first few days we wrote things together and answered each other without delay, which makes me very happy. Over the days, however, the common things and intimate topics began to revolve. Because, I liked it, I refrained from intimacy, emphasizing the common themes again, being careful not to give the wrong impression to me that I am one of the easy / easy ones. In the end, I decided to get involved. Not long after, he asked me when I would go to Varna again (it was very clear to me what it was about). I didn't think sober at first, and to some extent I promised him that I would probably be there soon. I realized that if we slept I would complicate things for myself if he only wanted me for one night. That's why I turned away, telling him that urgent commitments had popped up for me (there is something I shouldn't have told him) and let's find out later. As soon as I got into his intimate rhythm, a few days later his attitude towards me changed drastically. Things were true. During the day we still wrote things in common, but he answered me much less often (once every few hours), even when he stayed online on Facebook. And then he started writing to me only in the evening and only about the intimate. One day I tried to write to him during the day. His demeanor was so cold that he didn't tell me, "You know we only write to each other in the evening, what are you writing to me about now?" " The last straw. When I started it " what do you think of me .. etc. after that I removed it from fb. A month and 2 weeks later, I wake up and watch him send me an invitation at 3 in the morning. Assuming it would be different this time, I accepted. After months of silence, it was Christmas and I was the first to write to greet him, but mostly I used the occasion to melt the ice. We wrote about common topics almost all day. In the evening the same thing again, I joined the fun again. That night, goodnight, he told me to write to him the next day. That's what I did, I wrote to him for good morning.
All day long he came in, out, and lingered from time to time, but there was no answer, not even a blue one, and only after work did he answer me. Although after work, he answered me very rarely again. Where is my mistake for the same scenario to happen 2 times? In the end, I just left things like that, I fell silent. Months passed but we never wrote to each other. I still liked him and it was quite difficult for me to see him online every day without contact between us. I came to the conclusion that the only way to forget it was to remove it again as much as I didn't want to. I just wanted to get to know him. I wanted to communicate in a friendly way about common things, and the intimate could wait a while. I'm not a traffic jam, not to mention. I love to write a lot of things with him, but not only that, and plus we had started the topic quite early after we met. Maybe I'm not right to climb? Nowadays it doesn't seem to be a problem and is even considered normal? I'm not one of the girls with 100/200 likes in a photo or a so-called family (he is, and there are female girls), I don't live for social networks or their likes, I don't make selfies.
I don't know what artificial eyelashes, hair, silicones, nails and others. I don't feel the need to take pictures or dress provocatively in order to attract the male audience. I attract her when I am myself. I'm not ashamed to take pictures and go out without makeup. Overall I'm fine (pocket boyfriend) Is that my mistake? Because as I look, muffins gain far more attention than normal girls who want to love but are thrown to the sides like rags. At the same time, the men complain about the muffins and go to them again. I do not understand. After months of hard attempts to forget it, to this day it never leaves my head despite my daily commitments. Here's the shock, I'm going to add it. Not that I largely think it will be the old song in a new voice. Lately, my patience is not much and in most cases I am in a hurry with my final conclusions. After all, once you live, and if I don't take the risk, I'll stick with the guesses. So, if he eventually accepts me and we start communicating, should I continue in the same rhythm if the script is repeated? If not, how can I act tactfully to deal with such situations? And have you ever written only intimate topics with a boy and subsequently become more? I look forward to your advice :)
Answers 21
You allow it. You allow men to write to you only in the evening and look for you only for the bed. You allow this. If someone tries this again, you just cut it all at once, you don't reflect his Easter eggs in 3-4 in the morning, you want respect and that's it. He has formed an opinion about you as easy and stupid and always available, you haven't stopped him. Looking for him, you humiliate yourself again and he mocks you.
Well, answer the question: what kind of person do you want to be with? With a poseur living for likes and fame, a womanizer, an inflated old man, a dumb face ?! If you want to be with such people, start with the muffin photos, because it attracts their attention. In my opinion, it is wiser to invest in being an educated and independent woman. For the boy: if you think so much, write to him, but do not leave with high expectations. If there is something to happen, it will happen, if not - at least you will stop thinking about it and move on.
He wrote a lot of nonsense and nonsense. And if you remove it and add it 20 more times, what do you expect to happen? How long will you be chatting ?! And if you get to bed, what will happen? Will you faint with pleasure and he will swear allegiance to you for life ?! What? Is it hard for you to stop flying in the clouds? Come to your senses! We live in a hole that some optimists still call a state. It got to the point where relatives were slaughtered for inheritance. Posing on social media is more important than putting bread in your mouth. Intimate relationships grew into profiteering, her money, her fame. There are some 10 percent of weird and shy people who stay home and watch their families or wait for someone to find them. So my question is: When you sleep with him, will you feel better? M39
From the author to number 1: Clear. So I need to switch to inaccessible mode? Just from the fact that I answer him quickly, did he get the impression that I was easy or something else? For example, he wrote to me in the evening, to answer the next day on another topic or how? Of course I want respect! But the actions to express it are lacking. I'm not tactful either.
From the author to number 2: With a person we get along with, there is love, faith. For nothing in the world would I turn into a muffin. I already have a university degree and I run an online store. I want to live in my own pocket, and next to me just a person who respects me for who I am, wants me, misses me, is afraid of losing me ..
Girl, you didn't go wrong. He just wants sex, you want something more. You both get annoyed because over time you find that the other is just wasting your time and your true goal remains unfulfilled. Things will not work out for you if they have not happened so far. It is much easier to persuade someone who does not want one-time sex than for a long-term relationship. So, unless you want to sleep with him once or from time to time, don't look for him and think more, there is no other development. Obviously from your conversations you are attached, and he is not.
And here is a "decent modest girl without silicones and thousands of photos" how literate and smart she is !! Hahahaha Yes, the muffins are so dumb and incompetent !!! HahahaHa
In my opinion, if he had serious intentions and real feelings for you, he would be happy to talk to you. By talking, spend half an hour in the evening not working all day, because if he works or studies, he might both need time. The evening is also subjective, I've been out with friends and I've written to someone a little bit, but you can't go out with friends and just look at the phone. And if he really wanted to see you, he would come to your city. Don't waste time writing and blocking, it doesn't make sense, I don't think it would work with this boy. There are a lot of boys around the sea with such behavior, because women come on vacation from everywhere and some just want to have fun. If you look around you will see that there is a boy around you who, both nice and good, looks less attractive and would really be a worthy partner for you.
No, there's no point in looking for him again. But if you want to suffer for the third time, go for it. Everyone can make a mistake once, but you did it twice. Let's just say you wanted to give him a second chance, okay. It's better to give someone a second chance than to wonder what might happen. But now you want to make the same mistake a third time? Didn't it become very clear to you that it wouldn't work? You think too naively. He doesn't care about you and will only use you for fun. Have a little self-esteem and don't write him intimate things in the middle of the night. Intimate topics should only be discussed with the boyfriend. You ask what your mistake is. Well, your mistake is that you saw what he was like and you kept writing to him. Judge men better. If he writes intimate things to you, almost without knowing each other, is a player and is popular on Facebook, you should understand what he is. If you do not want to repeat this mistake again, never write intimate things with a person who is nothing to you. First get to know their character, go out on dates, wait for him to show that he is serious first and only then embark on such things. And if he gives up quickly because you're not easy, then it's just not worth it. There are decent men, no matter how few. Success!
Of the last 9 topics, 3 are entitled "I'm confused".
From 1 to the author A man writes at 3-4 in the morning only for the purpose of sex. Drunk, having a desire for sex - grasped the picture. Look for the lowest resistance, that is you. For the same reason, he only wrote to you in the evening, but not during the day. It's just that in the evening the restraints fall and he looks for company for the bed. During the day, people write to each other when they have something else with each other, and they really want to get to know each other. This man is not your boyfriend, you have no obligation to respond to him on time. It may not be polite, but personally I am not in a hurry to answer Easter eggs at random, people always closer to me have privileges. Apparently he is on the same principle as long as he did not respond to you in time. You're just not his priority. And for a man you should be a priority, not fun for the evening. Hold your position. I was also annoyed by various things, but only after a few words exchanged it became clear to them that it would not shine on them. If you teach a man that you are always available, he will come and come, but not with serious intentions, but for sex. Because that's how you fall in his eyes, you're always ready. When you never tell him No, your price goes down. The next time he calls you in the middle of the night, don't answer him, or write that you want to sleep, and you will talk tomorrow. If he is serious, he will look for you the next day, if he only looked for sex, he can insult you and try his luck on another. Have a little self-confidence and self-esteem so that you are not a doormat. if he was only looking for sex, he may insult you and try his luck at another. Have a little self-confidence and self-esteem so that you are not a doormat. if he was only looking for sex, he may insult you and try his luck at another. Have a little self-confidence and self-esteem so that you are not a doormat.
Stay away from any people from Varna and Burgas - these are the nastiest provincialists!
From the author to 13 So if a boy has serious intentions, he would not take the intimate from the very beginning? Or would he rather try me first for a while, and when he is convinced that I will not be attached to him, and at the same time be inaccessible, can it then be said that I have won his interest? In principle, even if it's not about this boy exactly, but with new acquaintances at all, no matter how much I like a boy, I have to behave coldly and respond slowly? How can I do so that my future conversations do not pass only in the evening? With this boy, the hints started quite early and during the day. When I had told him that I was resting and starting, should I give you a massage, etc. I didn't know how to tactfully divert his topic but at the same time maintain his interest in me (or any boy). Several times in the evening I will say that I feel sleepy or tired, but if he continues to look for me only in the evening, should I continue in the same spirit until I see a change in attitude? (I speak if it is repeated with my future acquaintances) There is a thin line between the inaccessible and not to think that it bothers me. The line between both being sought after and interesting and not looking easy is also thin.
Emmy, if you are crushed and tied to stereotypes, so be it. If I hadn't been so easy, if I hadn't been difficult otherwise. And are any of the pathetic complex strangers, always looking for virgin domestic servants, the same and asking themselves the same questions? The answer is clear. You do it.
I've been the author since I was 13. Serious boys feel it. And, yes, he would not undertake intimate things from the beginning to write to him and ask for them. Yes, nowadays sex is not a miracle, but a woman must be in a position. If a man wants a relationship with you, if you like him, he won't just look to get you into bed. You will go out during the day for coffee, for walks, for dinners. He will give you flowers. He will ask about you, but not only intimate things, but about you. What do you like to do, what do you do, how is your day, favorite movies, music. She will introduce you to friends, and introduce you as her friend. He'll tell you good morning, a light shift, good night. He will strive to be your friend, not just an intimate partner. Here is the difference. It's not bad to flirt, to be funny and free. But you have to judge how long you've known the man, and how your conversations go. What topics do you discuss most often? Try to invite him for coffee, really for coffee, it depends on who works and how. But somewhere in the city on a coffee or car, and see how it will react. Not late at night, just coffee. Casual encounter one species. You just sit and talk over coffee, without invitations to go home and such. Or a walk in the park for ice cream, say a weekend. Like you will be friendly, if you agree at all. If not, good health. What do you really know about him? Do you know friends, colleagues? Even this fact alone should lead you to think that there is nothing wrong with you. Also, what conversations do you have? Just flirtation and intimacy, or other things? Is it interesting for him to talk about something else, is he somehow sluggish if he changes the subject? Does he talk about his life, everyday life? Does he try to create emotional intimacy, not just intimate? Does he call you affectionate names - cute, baby, kitten, cutie, if you're not really boyfriends? Such universal addresses that everyone uses? If so, then he is just a womanizer. If someone really likes you, he will want to go out with you before the day, he will call you during the day, he will want you to be close to him. He will flirt with you again, but he will also want to be your friend. It should also make you a little jealous. For example, if you tell him that you are dating someone, even if it is a lie, how will he react? Will he frown, joke, or play? Or show a slight jealousy? Will he insist on hearing from you in secret, or will he get angry? Do you think that this one will be jealous of you if you say that you are on a date tonight, even if you lie and sit at home in front of the TV in a nightgown? which everyone uses? If so, then he is just a womanizer. If someone really likes you, he will want to go out with you before the day, he will call you during the day, he will want you to be close to him. He will flirt with you again, but he will also want to be your friend. It should also make you a little jealous. For example, if you tell him that you are dating someone, even if it is a lie, how will he react? Will he frown, joke, or play? Or show a slight jealousy? Will he insist on hearing from you in secret, or will he get angry? Do you think that this one will be jealous of you if you say that you are on a date tonight, even if you lie and sit at home in front of the TV in a nightgown? which everyone uses? If so, then he is just a womanizer. If someone really likes you, he will want to go out with you before the day, he will call you during the day, he will want you to be close to him. He will flirt with you again, but he will also want to be your friend. It should also make you a little jealous. For example, if you tell him that you are dating someone, even if it is a lie, how will he react? Will he frown, joke, or play? Or show a slight jealousy? Will he insist on hearing from you in secret, or will he get angry? Do you think that this one will be jealous of you if you say that you are on a date tonight, even if you lie and sit at home in front of the TV in a nightgown? It should also make you a little jealous. For example, if you tell him that you are dating someone, even if it is a lie, how will he react? Will he frown, joke, or play? Or show a slight jealousy? Will he insist on hearing from you in secret, or will he get angry? Do you think that this one will be jealous of you if you say that you are on a date tonight, even if you lie and sit at home in front of the TV in a nightgown? It should also make you a little jealous. For example, if you tell him that you are dating someone, even if it is a lie, how will he react? Will he frown, joke, or play? Or show a slight jealousy? Will he insist on hearing from you in secret, or will he get angry? Do you think that this one will be jealous of you if you say that you are on a date tonight, even if you lie and sit at home in front of the TV in a nightgown?
He wrote to you for a while. Personally, I like to chat on Facebook .... I even lose interest very quickly if a chick just wants to write endlessly. You will understand everything when you see yourself LIVE. Facebook communication has nothing to do with REAL life. You will just keep getting confused. Be Brave. If it doesn't come out of your head - respect your feelings and SEE HIM. Nothing needs to happen.
Author, what's going on, did you do anything?
From the author to 18. I slipped a little: D. Now things became crystal clear to me and I made sure of what I was thinking. There is also development. As I was about to add it, after your advice I realized that it really wasn't worth it and I stopped thinking about it. Yesterday morning, however, he added me. I received him for lunch. Later that day he wrote to me around 5 p.m. We wrote about how I was, what was going on around me, etc. We answered quickly. There was a slight intimate hint and I started to answer him slowly and even pretended to be hit, avoiding intimacy, after which he changed the subject. There were 2/3 more lines and the chat was over. When I ask him something new, he always answers 'the same thing' absolutely every time. He's not one of the people he shares, or maybe because he hasn't known me for who knows how long. I accepted it, but this time (most likely again) is the same job) I will be stubborn, I will stick to mine and if it says in the evening I will push it away either with "I'm tired" or just "seen" and that's it. It will be like this until it becomes mine and I will watch how things develop. A little experiment doesn't matter. And if he continues, I will tell him directly that I do not want to be seen only as a sexual object. As for jealousy, I will try. But strangely, given that there are so many girls in his town who would only be attached to him for evening conversations and sleeping, how come he hasn't forgotten me? Plus we don't live in the same city? .... I will tell him directly that I do not want to be seen only as a sexual object. As for jealousy, I will try. But strangely, given that there are so many girls in his town who would only be attached to him for evening conversations and sleeping, how come he hasn't forgotten me? Plus we don't live in the same city? .... I will tell him directly that I do not want to be seen only as a sexual object. As for jealousy, I will try. But strangely, given that there are so many girls in his town who would only be attached to him for evening conversations and sleeping, how come he hasn't forgotten me? Plus we don't live in the same city? ....
From the author to 19. I understand, but I personally accept things as follows: I do not write, I do not care. That's why I removed it several times because it is absolutely inadequate with me on Facebook, posts, selfies, etc. he adds me as he won't write ... what is it for him? You mean that if he answers a little cold in the chat, live it can be quite the opposite and we talk a lot? So shouldn't I be in a hurry to draw final conclusions from Facebook communication? The thing is that I am in Sofia and he is in Varna. It's nice to see him live, but it should be if I eventually go for a few hours so that it doesn't happen "come and sleep in us" or something like that. During the day of coffee so that there are no occasions for him to invite me to sleep with them ... That's right,
From the author to number 20. I have not done anything on my part but I have published comment 21 on the development. As I had given up, he added me ...
From the author to 19 - a supplement to my previous comment. It is enough for me to know that he does not make up his mind for him to come to Sofia to see me instead of me giving him a chance to hit the road to Varna ...