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Love and affairs

I Am Very Sensitive And Angry

By rcevat69 August 08, 2020 12 answers Last updated August 08, 2020

Hello, I know that most of my problems are related to internal fears and insecurities, but every time something is not right and I tell my friend he explains that I am burdening him and it is nonsense. I want him to react more kindly and gently, because when he says that I am burdening him, I also feel worse. I don't know why it still happens. To stop sharing what to do or probably have no reason to try to ignore the causes of anger. For example, for the 5th time he asks me when I have a birthday. It's ridiculous because we are the same zodiac sign and I was born 4 days before it. When I told him that he had tried to upset me, he started again with "burdening me", etc. I don't want him to repeat it to me every time and make me feel even worse. When I load it, what should have happened? To reconcile or separate, we're probably both not quite right, but these things pierce me from within, and he is a complete nerd. Am I being too picky and paying attention to everything, or should the fact that there are such omissions bother me because they don't mean I'm not valuable enough to him?

Answers 12

1
hannahr655 answered · August 08, 2020

   You are angry about nonsense and behave like a child, that's right, but he doesn't seem to care much for you either. You have nothing to be angry about, throw it away.

2
kieutrinhxiu answered · August 08, 2020

   Honey, don't blame yourself for being sensitive. It is these people who are the most real and brave. In our lives we attract people who come to teach us something, to change us for the better. Some do it by hurting us, and others - loving ... In this case, you have attracted your opposite. I don't think he's your man. People are together to share joys and pains. And when your friend is "burdened" by everything, can't remember even one date, it shows a complete lack of interest. I wouldn't waste my time with one, but before I lose it, I would ask him why he is with me at all ... Be happy :)

3
hotchocolategirl answered · August 08, 2020

   It's not from you. You have the right to be angry. My friend knew when I was born and he tried to show me respect on that day before we started a relationship. I never reminded him, he just knew and tried to make me happy. So it is to this day. This person is just not very intrigued by you, that's the truth. Either find a way to get his attention without being intrusive, or split up and wait to meet someone who will fight for you and become all the important dates for you by heart :) G27

4
indyeleven answered · August 08, 2020

   Since he doesn't pay you the attention you need, why are you with him? After all, communication is the basis of a relationship - to share your problems openly, to have trust ... You definitely do not have it. You decide whether to be part of the problem or the solution. 1017

5
sexcasianbutterfly answered · August 08, 2020

   Men do not remember dates, just accept it and you will save yourself a lot of headaches.

6
matty_sam551 answered · August 08, 2020

   I remember people's dates only because I researched them on Facebook, they were interesting to me, etc. without asking them. I am a woman, we do not change the fact that if someone is interesting to you you will try to know everything about him. He who does not remember dates writes them down. I don't think it's just your birthday. If he was, he wouldn't be writing here. I think that this attitude towards forgetting is focused on more things. You have two choices. If he treats you well, you are happy just find a convenient moment and tell him that you are more sentimental and will be happy to be a little more enthusiastic about dates like anniversaries and birthdays, etc. The other choice is written by your comments which I have already read. If you think it's not just about the dates, but just not interested in you, find someone else who will be more interested in you.

7
sbtinterior answered · August 09, 2020

   Nothing but advice is heard here - dump it, dump it, dump it! . It reminds me of the doctor who treated the headache with a guillotine. Don't listen to them like that at all, because you will become one hundred percent pishman, but you better collect money and go to a psychoanalyst. Because if I believe the councilors here, the most caring man is both the most respected and the most loved, and this is not the case in life at all. The more careful and caring a man is, the more the chick kicks him and gets on his head. Do you want to have a man under a slipper next to you? You'll never be happy with one, you know.

8
myz_t1ff answered · August 09, 2020

   Nobody loves such people, so tighten up and fight with yourself. Alpha, w. 29

9
snow_eva answered · August 09, 2020

   I think you're a big gloom. I have a girlfriend like you, until recently I defended her and I think her husband is a freak, but then we went to sea together and ... it turned out that she was a freak. He didn't stop grumbling. Something hurts her forever, she hated sand in her hair, that's how mojito was done, incompetents, she was angry that her husband left her to carry a bag, she didn't ask for help, then she moaned for an hour and touched her shoulder, etc. In the evening we sat down to drink at the beach bar was July. She said she was tired and would go to bed in the 10m bungalow. from the bar. Then she started writing to her husband Nikki on Viber that if he hadn't made her drive to the sea, she would have had a drink with us. And we all lined up to offer to drive. Then she called him to kill a bug. After a while he wrote that he wanted a pill for his head. After a while he wrote if we would go to bed again, not to sleep all day tomorrow. I found a pill and went to get it for her. I also said, "Annie, you really took a lot of grumbling," and she said, "Does Nikki have any intention of coming to see how I am, or is his world more important?" And I realized how she demanded his attention all day. , to ignore her name, she constantly blames us all, she constantly has to prove how much she cares about her ... We have been friends for 20 years, I think I can tell her directly what I think and I told her that behaves dumb, at 10m. we are, if she does not sleep to come, that she presses this man, he is already wondering how to please and in the end he will get tired and dump her. And she told me to get rid of my drunken wisdom. Well, I lost. Nikki complains to me all night that she's been sulking for days, something hurts her forever migraine, her cycle, just grumbling, there's nothing she can do alone, for everything she wants help, to take her by the hand to the dentist (she is 27), etc. She said something that remained so stuck in my head "I love her and I want to be a part of her life, but not to I've been her whole life, she's suffocating me. "When we got home, Annie did a circus again, frowned that we had woken her up, and went to sleep on the beach with a mattress. Even my husband got nervous, shouting "just to fall asleep and I'll pull her mattress into the sea, to travel. No one will have to draw." In the morning, I was expecting an apology, I was expecting him to realize. But no, the coffee sucks, the sea is muddy, I was drunk like some kind of sediment and I harassed it ... there is nothing more disgusting and unfortunate than blaming people, pretending to be a victim from morning till night. It's so tiring, it's so nasty, I'm sorry, but I think you're the same "victim" out of this role, because it is truly repulsive. I tried to explain to her that she behaves a bit like we are service staff, she constantly requires attention, care, we are constantly on thorns not to offend her, she is tired. She bursts into tears, I pulled her aside, not to The men are listening to us, she goes to the table, demonstratively takes her bag, Niki and shouts "What happened again?" in the sand. None of us got up to pick her up, we were so tired. Her husband started telling her about one of their big scandals, he forgot to buy flowers for her mother's birthday, she had a nervous breakdown, sat down to cry, he didn't care about her, he didn't give 5 money for her family. , what had her mother done to him, didn't the woman deserve a flower, what kind of ungrateful? !! Nikki told her she would buy on the way, but she "No, I saw how much you care." And he told her, "That's right, I don't care about you, I'm tired, disappear," and he had thrown all her luggage out the window. She then slept at home, came and told how Nikki wondered how to quarrel, if only not to attend a family reunion. I remember telling her, this Nikki is a complete moron, a freak, dump him. She apologized to him the next day and they got together. They are always like that. And I already see the whole picture. Ani grumbles all day, something hurts her, something irritates her, she can't handle something, she wants support for everything. Nikki splits to please her, but she fixes one thing and she immediately thinks of something new to grumble about. At one point, he already sees that he is powerless and he likes it and he just wants the grumbling to stop and for her to get out of his sight. And it aggress, starts with cruel insults your pathetic, shit, you get up for nothing, sometimes he got slapped. Now, when you talk about zodiac signs, let me tell you, I am a cancer with ascending scales, so to speak, I live to take care of people and help, I am quiet, I keep quiet a lot, I hate conflicts. Well, if it aggresses me, think. She just at one point asks you to fuck her. And because when you pull a fuck, it doesn't stop, but starts explaining to you what a bastard you are, how you don't understand anything and how hard it is. And you have no choice but to do something super nasty just to leave you alone, to stop muttering, but you just don't want to look at her anymore. I felt just like Nikki. Worse, he managed to make me feel like a bad person. If someone makes me feel bad every day, it won't last long. Believe me, it wasn't easy for me to look at her in the sand crying, however, I just wanted him to go to the bungalow and the drama to stop. Just wake up in my sweet friend's head, some evil man who wanted to scream "Hey shit, go sour somewhere farther away, we tore our asses to smile at you, you were a vampire, we can't leave anymore, we can't, you've decided to you're a pathetic victim, ok. Don't turn me into another abuser, I'm not, I refuse. I refuse to take responsibility for your pitiful condition. "But I didn't tell her, I'm telling you. That's how we feel around you, the very sensitive, the sensitive, the victims. But we are silent, do not take to throw yourself from somewhere. Do you know how much better life becomes when you take care of your own happiness. When, instead of muttering that your shoulder hurts, you tell your husband, "Honey, I won't wear it, it's hard." Or "dear, if you forget my birthday again,

10
real_naughty_housewife answered · August 10, 2020

   It's me again, from the comment with Annie and Nikki. I just want to add something. Believe it or not, God, the universe, or whatever you believe in, has not brought you together by chance. She brought you together to learn something from each other. In this case, I think she brought you together to become a little like him. More direct, to defend a position, to be a little selfish (Only in this way can you survive in a relationship). And let him become a little like you, softer, resourceful, empathetic to people's feelings (Only in this way you will not beat his jester). If you refuse to learn the lesson, the universe will give you new partners, but the lesson remains. After 6 months of flowers and roses, the new partner will begin to show the same things, and you will again take on the role of victim. If you still don't learn the lesson, you will still be given another partner, this time maybe a weak man who is just like you, to see yourself from the side and to have to take on the role of the bastard and finally become a little stronger person. But why cause it, take advantage that you have a bastard to learn from, instead of leaving immediately, try. The real meaning of relationships with people is to cultivate, to grow. For example, I realize why I have a girlfriend like Annie, to see how bad it is to pretend to be a victim and not show this behavior. I have behaved similarly sometimes and I am grateful for this lesson, I saw myself from the side, I became a bastard. It dawned on me that the victim was actually the manipulator, I saw him see through, everyone felt that there was something rotten, theatrical, too much. He pretends to take care of everyone, but why? Because he doesn't know how to take care of himself and he expects us to do it, we know. She drives us all day, carries luggage, and in the end there is no one to look at her and we are bad. I did the same unconsciously, I was disgusted and I wouldn't do it again. This is the meaning of relationships with people.

11
melendioficial answered · August 10, 2020

   I didn't read this 9 and 10, only 10 lines out of 9, but didn't you drown her at the end or come up with a better solution to stop the bacillus? To the author - your boyfriend is not ripe for a relationship or you really burden him with stupidity. Consider whether you tell him trivial and repetitive things, couples should support each other, but for meaningful things, for nonsense we have girlfriends. And I couldn't remember my friend's date of birth for 3 years, he teased me, but he didn't lose me, then I turned him on my head and in the following years I wished him on different dates shortly before his date, so I compensated and now we celebrate it twice per year. There are nuances that you have to feel, otherwise there is no way for us to know your situation.

12
mleblanc answered · August 10, 2020

   author, once you start the topic with "I know that most of my problems are related to internal fears and insecurities", then you know that you have a problem with it. it will be best to work on your self-confidence, on accepting things, on finding the positive in situations ... whether your friend cares about you or not, there is no way to say a few lines. yes, he may not care much, but you may be a grumbler who is really stressful. I have such a person from my closest environment with me, so it is very clear to me what it is about. it is not clear how often you grumble and get angry, for what exactly, except for the birthday. if it is, for example, once a week, it is not a problem, but if it is several times a day, even the most patient person will get more. moreover, a lot depends on how exactly you put things - whether you clearly and precisely state your position to the person or you just complain about how hard it is for you, how much he doesn't understand you and how much you suffer. no one likes negative people, conveniently called sensitive :-) often they are just grumblers and really act stressful. my advice is to think about what's really important to you and stop grumbling about little things (I don't know if that's true, it's not clear from the story, but once the person says you're burdening him, it's probably true). permanent muttering never leads to good results. talk to the person on topics that are really important to you (who looked how, where he left the plate and what he said are not exactly like that) and explain your thesis clearly and concisely - I want to be both for my birthday, which is once upon a time; I don't like something, etc. if the person cares about you,